Iago: Shakespeare's Psychopath

By Heidi Hiatt

Will you, I pray, demand that demi-devil

Why he hath thus ensnared my soul and body?

-Othello

While reading a legal newsletter I subscribe to this week, I came across an article about Iago, the villain in Shakespeare’s Othello. Dallas lawyer Michael Maslanka asked “What Can Lawyers Learn From ‘Othello’?”

Maslanka makes two fantastic points in this piece about being on guard against manipulation and rationalization. In Othello, Iago manipulates everyone around him to achieve his goals of revenge and self-promotion. He does so as if he’s everyone’s friend and is genuinely concerned about their well-being. He plays all sides against each other.

“One of the ways he’s so successful at controlling others is by leveraging their positive qualities to serve his own ends,” Maslanka says. He also points out Iago’s ability to disguise himself as something he is not: “Always remember, as Iago warns us: ‘When devils will the blackest sins put on, They do suggest at first with heavenly shows, As I do now.’”

When Iago’s mind-bending, seductive influence finally drives Othello to kill his wife, Othello rationalizes the murder as an honor killing. Noting Othello’s attempt to justify this atrocious act, Maslanka reminds his audience that people often believe what they want to believe. For that reason, people’s ability to “impose narratives on events”, he says that attorneys should “be skeptical… rigorously examine their narratives, and probe for the story beneath the story.”

Why didn’t I think of this? Iago is the perfect example of the type of sociopath/narcissist I wrote about in my Hypnotic Milfoil blog entry earlier this week. He has been referred to as the greatest of villains and loathed for his cunning destruction of others’ lives for over 400 years.

When I began to think about just how perfectly Iago represents the self-serving, scurrilous vampires I write about, I was floored. As a longtime believer in the validity of Dr. Robert Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), I reviewed that list of common characteristics of psychopaths to find that Iago fit the bill:

• -glib and superficial charm
• -grandiose estimation of self
• -need for stimulation
• -pathological lying
• -cunning and manipulativeness
• -lack of remorse or guilt
• -shallow affect (superficial emotional responses)
• -callousness and lack of empathy
• -parasitic lifestyle
• -poor behavioral controls
• -impulsivity
• -irresponsibility
• -failure to accept responsibility for own actions
• -criminal versatility

There were only six characteristics on the list that I did not see in Iago, sexual promiscuity, early behavior problems, lack of realistic long-term goals, many short-term marital relationships, juvenile delinquency, and revocation of conditional release.

Perhaps if we knew Iago’s backstory, or more about his private life, we would see those traits as well. It is interesting to note that Iago and his wife Emilia were not close, and it is Emilia who exposes him for what he is.

Iago also meets many of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) criteria for narcissism:

• -a grandiose sense of self-importance
• -is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
• -requires excessive admiration
• -has a sense of entitlement, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his expectations
• -is interpersonally exploitive, takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends
• -lacks empathy, is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
• -is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him
• -shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

There is an ongoing debate in academia about the difference between sociopaths and psychopaths, both being people without conscience that use and abuse others for their own ends. Some argue that psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made, although that may be too simplistic of an explanation.

Modern science has shown that there are physical differences in the brains of people with issues like psychopathy and borderline personality disorder. But some scientists have shown that you can have such a brain and never indulge its negative potential; it is external factors combined with personal choices that usually turn the mental disconnects on.

Iago was an opportunist who probably wasn’t new to his game of manipulating people, and ultimately, he admits his crimes but refuses to speak about them. For the purposes of this discussion, I’ll refer to him as a sociopath, one notch down on the “people lacking empathy” scale from a psychopath, which is considered the most extreme form of this condition. His deviancy may have been formed as he went through life and found chances to exploit others instead of being inherent.

Now that we know what Iago is, we can put this in perspective. Othello begins in Venice with Iago and his friend Roderigo discussing their dissatisfaction over two major events. Roderigo has just learned from Iago that the woman he wanted to marry, Desdemona, has eloped with Othello, a Moorish general in the Venetian Army. Iago is complaining to Roderigo that Othello has made a younger man, Cassio, his lieutenant instead of him.

Iago, already Othello’s ensign, believes that he is far more deserving of the rank of lieutenant because of his firsthand experience with battle. Cassio is well-educated and qualified for the position, but does not yet have real world experience with war. We have no reason to question Othello’s judgment in promoting Cassio to lieutenant or in marrying Desdemona; he obviously recognized qualities in both of them that made them most worthy of their titles.

Because Othello and Desdemona were married in secret, Iago incites Roderigo to tell her father, a senator, before the happy couple can. They wake the senator in the middle of the night and inform him of the marriage in an inflammatory and discriminatory way. Iago then goes to Othello and tells him the senator is coming for him.

Othello successfully defends himself to her father and others, then leaves for Cyprus to quell a Turkish invasion. When Othello, his wife, and their staff arrive there, they find that the Turks’ ships were destroyed in a storm, and they host a celebration. Iago seizes this opportunity to get Cassio drunk, and uses Roderigo to start a fight with him. Cassio gets blamed for the altercation, and Othello demotes him, allowing Iago to move in closer.

Othello and Iago had a history, but Othello should have maintained a strictly business relationship with him. Instead, Iago becomes the demon whispering in his ear, dropping lies into his brain like poison into a glass of wine. When Iago, feigning unwavering loyalty and deep devotion, convinces Othello that his wife is having an affair with Cassio, Othello makes him lieutenant.

Cassio, in the meantime, has asked Desdemona to intercede on his behalf since he has been falsely accused. Othello misinterprets her advocacy for Cassio as further proof of her infidelity, and Iago is able to plant evidence to further Othello’s suspicions.

Believing that Iago’s great “love” for him is real, Othello proceeds to abuse and humiliate his wife. His hatred of her becomes so strong that he publicly attacks her, strikes her in front of her family, and falsely accuses her. Desdemona, completely innocent and genuinely in love, cannot understand why this is happening to her. She knows she has does nothing wrong and is horrified at her husband’s behavior.

Othello subsequently loses his post and Cassio rises to take his place. Iago convinces Roderigo to murder Cassio, and while Roderigo is attacking him in the street, Iago, in disguise, sneaks up behind Cassio to join in. Cassio does not die but is seriously wounded, and Iago comes back to the scene to coordinate the rescue effort. Iago kills Roderigo to hide their plot and accuses Cassio’s love interest of the crime.

Desdemona, reeling from her husband’s abuse, tells her maidservant, Emilia—who is also Iago’s wife– that she cannot comprehend that any woman could be capable of committing adultery. She is completely committed to Othello and would never do such a thing to him.

Even so, Othello calls his wife a litany of degrading, insulting names, and after she begs for one more night to live, then one more half hour, then just one more prayer, Othello kills her. By this time he is so ensnared by Iago’s web of lies that he tries to convince himself this was necessary.

Emilia arrives soon after the murder and realizes that her husband, Iago, is responsible for everything. She exposes his deception and manipulation based on hard evidence, and here Iago’s true nature explodes into vivid Technicolor for all to see. He can no longer hide the self that has been seething below the surface, moving other human beings around like pawns on a chess board.

“Villainous whore!” he shouts at his wife. “Filth!” Out of loyalty to Desdemona, Emilia refuses to be quiet or go home as Iago is screaming at her to do, and enraged, he stabs her to death. Like the coward he is, he runs away as reality begins to melt Othello’s hypnotic obedience to him.

Othello berates himself loudly and mourns his wife, realizing that he was manipulated into homicidal rage by the scheming Iago. Iago is brought back to the scene by Cassio and others, and Othello plunges a sword into him, only to wound him, not kill him. Othello wants him to live with the consequences of his actions.

Othello apologizes to Cassio, at which point he asks him about Iago, “Will you, I pray, demand that demi-devil/Why he hath thus ensnared my soul and body?” Then, after admitting that by killing Desdemona he threw away a priceless treasure, he acknowledges the extreme pressure that reduced him from being a renowned general to a game piece. Before he can be taken into custody, he kills himself.

It is critical to understand one truth about this story: no one was having any problems until Iago came along. Had he never come into the story, Othello and Desdemona, and everyone else, could have had a wonderful marriage and happy lives, barring any future problems. Iago and his sociopathic influence over others started the chain of events that led to their demise.

Through the centuries, people have analyzed Iago as if he were some exceedingly complex creature that is difficult to understand. This is not an original thought, but there is nothing complex or gifted about Iago. By his nature, not even by virtue of his intelligence, he instinctively exploited others’ areas of weakness and attacked what was dearest to them.

This is typical sociopathic behavior that such people can exhibit without consciously trying. This is a base, average human being with its conscience and empathy stripped away. There is a fundamental part of them that is suppressed or missing. Sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists, and others like them are possessed by their condition. It’s not a part-time job. It’s who they are.

Nothing—no conquest, no rank, no triumph, no accomplishment—would have been enough to satisfy the bottomless pit inside this cowardly sociopath who got everyone else to do his dirty work. His insatiable hunger cost Othello, Desdemona, Roderigo, and Emilia everything.

The promotion he gained when he robbed Cassio of his position only served to fuel his ego. He was not satisfied with convincing Othello that Desdemona was having an affair, he had to take it farther and destroy Othello for not giving him that coveted promotion in the first place. Iago wrongly believed that what Cassio had was rightfully his.

Because of his nature, Iago was incapable of ever really being loyal to anyone but himself. That is what we as individuals and a society need to realize about what author Sandra Brown calls the “Low Empathy/Conscience Spectrum Disorders”—sociopathy, psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline/borderpath personality disorder, and combinations thereof.

People with many of these disorders are their own god; in some cases, nothing truly matters more than themselves. These are not disorders that anyone else can fix for them—there is no amount of love or punishment that can cause permanent change. Many such people stay this way for life, and without the invited intervention of God’s grace combined with repentance and long-term commitment to suitable therapy, there is unlikely to ever be change.

Please be mindful that sociopaths and psychopaths are particularly adept at using their presence in church, in counseling, in support groups, and in the social realm as “proof” that they have changed. This can be especially true when there is a repeated pattern of them utilizing these means to convince others that they are reformed. Christianity is an often-cited cover for those lacking a real conscience. They know exactly what terminology to use and actions to showcase to convince others of their “sincerity.”

Sociopaths and psychopaths are largely beyond conventional help, meaning that counseling and other means of self-improvement may have no genuine effect on them. Even more disturbing, they may be using their self-help quest to learn to become better at their deception. They can also use therapy to shift the blame for their issues onto others, acting as if their family or partner has shared responsibility for the hole in their soul.

If we are to protect the genuine and the innocent among us, we must acknowledge that there are truly wicked, soul-sucking, pathological people out there—Iagos– who will never change. They may mellow with age, they may improve at hiding their true nature, but they are driven by forces of darkness that rejoice in the destruction of others, use others without remorse, and rationalize deception. They may be so used to their condition that they are not even consciously trying to be this way.

Othello, the great leader, the exceptional man who earned a position of prestige in a prejudiced society, the distinguished husband whose stories of trials and tribulations had won the heart of an adoring, faithful woman, was reduced to being Iago’s pitbull. By allowing his insecurities and fears to be probed and his ego to be stroked, he lowered his standards and became someone quite different from his authentic self to “satisfy” a sociopath.

Here in the 21st century, the same tragedies and consequences of sociopathic behavior are playing out all over our nation. Because of power-hungry devils like Iago, healthy relationships are broken up, loving marriages are stopped in their tracks, and children who would have otherwise existed will never be born as a result.

Innocent children repeatedly have their hearts broken by such self-absorbed behavior, and are conditioned to experience personality disorders, dysfunction in their own relationships, substance abuse, and domestic violence through it. Innocent men and women are increasingly finding their lives and livelihoods blown apart by it. Entire family trees and family legacies are being obliterated by the Iagos of our time.

Let us pray that the Iagos in our lives are exposed for what they are before they escalate and do even worse damage than they already have

What a Sociopath Looks Like!

By Heidi Hiatt

Mr. Baffleberg? My cousin’s longtime piano teacher?!

Yellow teeth bared, he raised the knife in a jerky automaton-like flourish as putrid sweat dripped from his stringy reddish black hair…

Is this what you think of when you picture a sociopath? If so, you’re not alone. This is how pop culture often portrays dangerous and dishonest people– in hockey masks, dragging one leg heavily behind them, brandishing weapons, unkempt, socially inept loners who drive noisy ’70s vehicles with human bones dangling from the rear view mirror– and the list goes on.

Unfortunately these stereotypes have numbed our senses and narrowed our vision. Oftentimes, when we hear that someone has been arrested for embezzlement, murder, or other crimes, we see a particular phrase pop up on the evening news: “he always seemed like such a nice guy.” A clean-shaven athletic man in a citrus-hued polo shirt and neat slacks doesn’t really fit the image of a sociopath that we’ve been conditioned to accept.

There are many arguments about how to distinguish between psychopaths, sociopaths, and those with antisocial personality disorder. Sometimes this is explained on a continuum of violence or in the context of just how far someone is willing to go to cover their wrongdoings.

For the purposes of this article, I’m going to use the term sociopath loosely to describe self-serving human beings who can use and harm others without much, if any, conscience flickering behind their greedy eyes. These are people in serious need of the grace of God.

Only someone who looks like me would dare mislead you, dear.

Readers of my blog–some of whom have stood with me in my struggles against sociopaths– know that in my personal experience, a particular type of sociopath stands out. Whether male or female, these people are usually in positions of power and have a habit of ingratiating themselves to their organizations and endearing themselves to the upper echelons.

When someone finally finds the courage to report their wrongdoing, they are so embedded in the organization that the complainant is rebuffed as if they have a personal beef or are overreacting. It is often the whistleblower scrambling to find a new job or legal representation rather than the suspect.

That kind of thinking is exactly what I want American society to overcome. Sociopaths are often not the obvious suspects. They instinctively know how to bury their misdeeds and burn the people who stand up to them. They have a justification for every accusation. There is a rationalization for every questionable circumstance. They are quick to shift the blame and make any victims or witnesses appear needy, crazy, vindictive, or unbalanced.

These behaviors are disgustingly obvious to those trained to see them, or to those who’ve dealt with criminal behavior in their personal lives. It doesn’t take magical powers to realize when one of these people is operating within your family, church, or profession, but it does require an open mind. We must acknowledge that sociopaths don’t live in a colony of caves they all return to at sunrise, but they are among us each and every day.

Even the police have various stereotypes that they employ while analyzing suspects, like, “if they’re not making eye contact, they’re lying to me,” or “they’re not telling me the truth because they’re nervous.” There can be various legitimate reasons for that behavior and that kind of old school boilerplate thinking can lead to extremely wrong conclusions. Many sociopaths are smooth talkers and some can remain cool as cucumbers when questioned about their actions.

Remember this scene from Men in Black?

To my horror I’ve seen some of these people ingratiate themselves to the police and it’s the police who stand up for them when their sins begin to leak out. We do the same thing in our families– “oh, he wouldn’t do that,” or “there’s no way one of our own could do such a thing.”

How do you know? Did you investigate? Did you involve an objective third party who could offer their take on the situation? Did you ask an expert on the suspected behavior? Why would the alleged victim risk so much or pay so heavy a price for turning them in?

Sociopath, to some, is synonymous with serial killer. We need to get over that. Yes, serial killers usually display some degree of psychopathy, but their profiles and motivations can be very different. The same is true of the people I’m speaking of. While sociopaths share common traits, they don’t all work in one field or eat at the same restaurant or look alike. One reason these men and women are so successful at their game of using others for their own pleasure is because they blend in.

Sociopaths can have families. They can be parents. They might be great parents. They can be attractive. They can be popular. They might be highly intelligent or they might be of average intelligence or below and just know how to talk the talk. Some like to keep their names in lights and their good deeds in people’s hearts; they’re the ones who are always volunteering or putting supposed sacrificial kindnesses on display for others to see.

These folks might practice a false modesty but they are careful to cultivate a public persona that just “can’t be the sweet old lady who embezzled $30,000 from the nonprofit’s operating fund.” Yet every day in the news, there’s someone else… and someone else… and someone else whose family or coworkers or organization finally dared to investigate those curious little question marks that started to gather, resulting in an arrest.

He has your best interests in mind. He really does.

Earlier this year, I saw a list that claimed to identify the top ten professions in which psychopaths work, http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/01/06/these-are-the-top-10-jobs-most-likely-to-attract-psychopaths-should-we-be-worried/#:


1. CEO

2. Lawyer

3. Media (Television/Radio)

4. Salesperson

5. Surgeon

6. Journalist

7. Police Officer

8. Clergy person

9. Chef

10. Civil Servant


The list, evidently, comes from a book by Oxford psychologist Kevin Dutton called The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success. I’ve seen similar lists published from time to time. While I see the truth in them, I usually wonder how they came to these conclusions. This list looks pretty logical to me, though, so I’m going to run with it.

What do sociopathic people usually want? Power and control. Money. Influence. Access to victims. Easy pickings. Notice how some of those positions can make great money and some have a profound influence over our culture. Some of these job titles command automatic respect and admiration. Many people can be fearful of questioning the integrity of a journalist, civil servant, or police officer.

But also note that people in these positions can hide behind their job titles and therefore appear as someone they’re not. Priests are expected to be sacrificial and saintly, are they not? Their office in the church allows them to reach many people and do countless good deeds for the sake of Christ. It’s the perfect cover. What a great deal for a dark soul.

The same can be true of police officers. Becoming a cop makes you an automatic hero to some because you’re risking your life for public safety. Many cops are involved in charitable activities and known for their outreach to the community. Some of the same cops might abuse their spouses or sleep with underage girls and boys. Accuse them of wrongdoing, though, and there are those who are quick to hide behind their badges.

How many of us have dated this guy?

Do you see what I’m driving at? Sociopaths frequently place themselves in jobs where they have so much power, such strong union protection, or are so difficult to fire that it’s very hard to successfully prosecute them. They can gravitate towards professions that receive automatic respect. The very job, title, or circumstances that make them seem so admirable can also be the job, title, or circumstances that provide the ideal camouflage for their deviant behaviors. We can and should be willing to look beyond someone’s veneer to find out what they’re really about.

We don’t need to be running about paranoid or quick to label others as sociopaths. But what I want you to take away from this article is that a sociopath might not look or act like what you think they do. We want sociopaths to be obvious and openly devious, but we need to be more in tune with good and evil than that. Christians need to be sensitive to promptings from the Holy Spirit even when they don’t, at the time, seem logical.

Again and again on this blog I hammer on the verse from the Manufacturer’s Handbook that Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. I want readers to be TIRED of me saying that. The best sociopaths can be the ones who have you feeling guilty for questioning their motives or behavior at all. They’re the ones people in their circles rush to defend or are afraid to take on. Their crimes might even be blatant but they know that others are unlikely to stop them because of their position of authority, the cost of an investigation, or others’ fear.

The bottom line is that we need to stop stereotyping, stop assuming, stop blindly defending those “great guys,” stop protecting people just because we live with them, work with them, or pay the huge bills they send us, and start acknowledging that well-disguised evil can be very close to us.

There is no island of evil and continent of good. There is evil at our elbows and unless we are willing to call it out for what it is, we are enabling it, lazily letting it thrive and breed.

The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can’t count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaners. They’re funny like that. -Jim Butcher

Drat! Foiled again!

Heidi Hiatt, MA recently graduated as a Forensic Psychologist.  You can read more of her posts at her personal blog, Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie Straight Talk in a Crooked World

Fuel-Passenger-Flight-Hijack: Intimate Partner Violence

by Susan Murphy-Milano

Angie never thought when she married her husband in 1988 that she would be "one of those women." Stuck in a relationship with a controlling and violent man. She met her husband in her last year of college. He came from a stable family environment and by all appearances acted normal. While they dated he was very attentive to her. Angie graduated magna cum laude with a masters degree in nursing. They dated for about a year before deciding to marry. The couple settled down in Florida. He had a contacting business and Angie worked at a nearby hospital.

Six months or so into the marriage Angie's husband began with verbal assaults. Angie says "he didn't like me to work extra shifts, you know he always wanted to know where I was at all times. When I didn't come home straight after my shift he would accuse me of fooling around with an intern or doctor on staff. It seemed there was nothing I could do to please him. And yet I was not doing anything wrong. Most nights he found fault over everything from the how I wore my hair to the way I cleaned the bathroom. One night I got called into work a shift. We only had one bathroom and I needed to jump in the shower. On purpose my husband tripped me in the hallway. I should have left then and never returned. But I learned the day before I was pregnant."

Angie said she loved him and believed he was under pressure to make a go of the contracting business. She excused his behavior. Angie wanted to believe his outbursts were only temporary. When Angie announced they were going to have a baby her husband was happy and their relationship improved. Once their daughter was born "he changed all the attention was on the baby, not on him." The fights became physical. Angie stayed because she was too embarrassed to seek help or tell anyone she was a victim of abuse. "My God, I am an educated woman, how could this have happened to me? Where was I going with an infant?"

Angie gave birth to another daughter two years later. She worked part-time at the hospital and on weekends when a shift was available. Trying to see the good in her husband Angie continued to convince herself the rare moments of good were enough to outweigh the bad. Over the years the bad consisted of broken jaws, wrists and ribs. "He would always apologize, nurse me back on my feet and repeat the abuse once I was my old self."

When her oldest entered high school she made an appointment to see an attorney. Angie had money hidden away and could get a job anywhere in the country. Her husband found out and informed Angie "if she went through with a divorce" it would be her death. In no uncertain terms Angie's life had been permanently hijacked.

In 2009, with both her children grown and living their lives, Angie began making arrangements to end the marriage. But she had to do it very carefully. If he got wind of her plans, Angie felt certain she would be dead. Angie was in crisis and required a road-map with directions.

Angie reached out to me and we formulated a plan of action. She started taking items from the home that would not be missed. Angie secured a post office box and a cell phone from Walmart that could not be tracked.

She was very careful not to tell anyone. Following the information in both the Moving Out Moving On book and the Time's Up guide, Angie at her own pace moved forward.

This past Thursday, Angie prepared a letter to her husband, informing him she had left. This is important as he would have reported her missing. Her attorney advised against it, I argued it was necessary to do for many reasons. With everything she needed already in another state in her new home, Angie placed the letter on the counter and headed out to the driveway where her girlfriend was waiting to take her to the airport.

Saturday Angie spent the first night of what will be many in her new home. Sunday morning she called to report how good she felt. "My life, I have control of my life."

A good relationship should not be lived in secrecy or fear. A good relationship is one where both partners are treated with mutual respect and love.

Angie's life was hijacked by an abusive relationship. She embarked on a journey in 1988 with the goal of living happily ever after. Instead, Angie became a passenger on a flight of never ending violence and abuse. Once she took the steps to take back her life and implement a plan of action that fit her needs, Angie was no longer a passenger, but a survivor. In the middle of her life she changed flight plans, charting her own course to a life without the fear of violence.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusiverelationship. The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship"is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship, create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Networkon Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

Rehabilitation or Punishment?

By Heidi Hiatt

Necrophiliac.

Serial burglar.

Serial rapist.

Serial killer.

Has used knives, guns, and his body parts to violate the living and the dead.

Has said that he has an uncontrollable urge to kill.

Escaped from prison, broke into a home, tied up the male resident, and raped the man’s wife.

Was involved in the Attica prison riot.

Described by a DA as a “callous, vicious, violent man who is a serial rapist, burglar and multiple murderer” who has no “compassion or sorrow for his victims and is not capable of living a law-abiding life.”

With a resume like this, it is inconceivable that this psychopath could ever get out of prison, right?

Wrong.

Seventy-six year old Winston Moseley is up for parole for the 15th time. You may not know his name, but millions know the name of one of his victims, Kitty Genovese.

Forensic psychology students often study this case in detail because it is where the term “bystander effect” originates from. This case is extremely disturbing not only because a woman was raped and murdered, but because possibly dozens of people heard the attack and did nothing to intervene. They didn’t even call the police.

While the above information came from John Caher’s excellent article in the New York Law Journal via Law.com, most people who have studied this case can describe what happened from memory. You can’t forget it. Ever. The apathy involved is that tragic, because the victim could have lived.

http://www.newyorklawjournal.com/PubArticleNY.jsp?id=1202517412972&Law_Requires_Board_to_Assess_Rehabilitation_in_Parole_Rulings&slreturn=1

In mid-March of 1964, Kitty Genovese left the bar she managed and got out of her car to walk into her Queens apartment. Winston Moseley came out of nowhere and stabbed her twice in the back as she tried to run away. She screamed for help and he took off.

But he came back. Seeing that no one would intervene, he followed a trail of blood into a hallway where he raped her and stabbed her over and over, including in the neck so she couldn’t scream. Some reports say he kept returning until he was sure she was dead.

An estimated 38 people heard or saw the attack and did nothing. While that number is unsubstantiated, it is clear that there were witnesses and someone could have, at minimum, called the authorities. But Kitty Genovese, violated and mutilated, died alone and helpless because no one bothered to get involved.

According to John Caher:

A month earlier, according to the prosecution, Mr. Moseley broke into a home, shot a 24-year-old woman six times and had sex with her dead body. He later explained that he had an “uncontrollable urge to kill” and claimed to have committed at least five rapes and 35 burglaries before his encounter with Ms. Genovese, according to the Queen’s District Attorney’s Office.

Mr. Moseley was sentenced to the death penalty, although the sentence was reduced to 20 years to life.

Let’s review:

Necrophiliac.

Serial burglar.

Serial rapist.

Serial killer.

This brings us back to the age-old debate about whether our criminal justice system should be focused on rehabilitation or whether it should be focused on punishment.

Advocates of rehabilitation might point out that Moseley has earned a sociology degree while in prison and has worked as a teaching assistant (per the above article).

If he’s behaved in prison lately– I don’t know– they might argue that his good behavior has earned him the right to be free.

There could be a number of reasons– his age, changes he’s appeared to have made, recommendations from others, and so on– cited to justify his release.

But why is this about him? How does a deviant of this magnitude get away with 20 years to life? He should be castrated and put to death so that he is no longer a threat to society and there is no chance that he can escape and do this again. He is already a repeat offender.

Any possible good behavior inside prison walls doesn’t mean he will be able to withstand the pressures and temptations of the outside world in which he will once again be exposed to the targets of his sick hatred– women.

Can God forgive him for what he’s done? Yes He can. Some people would disagree with me but let’s not forget the two criminals crucified next to Jesus. One of them, at death’s door, became truly sorry for what he had done, and He was promised paradise.

But even if a hardened criminal has made things right with God, does that justify his release? No, by itself, it does not. Doesn’t he still have a debt to pay to society even if his slate’s been wiped clean with God? How heinous do a series of crimes have to be to keep someone locked up for life– for sure– or for them to receive the death penalty? It seems that our standards are slipping as we become more and more concerned about how the suspects are treated and forget the victims in the process. Perhaps Winston Moseley is of most use to God inside those prison walls.

Additionally, some psychopaths feign conversion and change to achieve that very goal, release. From my education I know that many psychopaths use their time in prison to study subjects relating to their internal conditions and sometimes get degrees in them. They can become model prisoners, seemingly benevolent and appearing to want to repay their debt to society.

It concerns me that sentencing and parole decisions are often made by well-meaning people who are not trained to recognize those dark souls who are unlikely to ever be truly reformed. This is why I repeatedly argue for the use of forensic psychologists in the criminal justice system– note that I said forensic, not just any psychologists. Many of them are trained to properly evaluate criminals and some can see through the smokescreens that psychopaths spew to appear “rehabilitated.”

I know very little about what Winston Moseley is like now at age 76. But how much does that matter? We know what he’s done. So the bigger issue is whether someone who has repeatedly taken precious lives, who has repeatedly sexually violated women, and who has repeatedly shown a total disregard for others’ property should be judged to have been properly punished and fit for release into a society that is half female.

Even if he is truly sorry– and it is wise to question if he has the depth to be truly sorry– the answer is a resounding, thunderous, cataclysmic, earth-shaking, shout out to all the murder and rape victims and survivors who are repeatedly faced with the possibility that their violators can achieve freedom through the farce that is parole– absolutely not.

I hope that Moseley can make things right with his Creator, I really do. I hope he knows that God still cares about him despite his heinous and unconscionable crimes. But the rest of society doesn’t need to be put in danger so that rehabilitation advocates can test whether he’s truly reformed or not.

How many more women have to be brutally raped and murdered before Moseley gets a life sentence?

***

For more information on the bystander effect, seehttp://helpingpsychology.com/bystander-effect-theory. The bystander effect means that the more people are present in an emergency situation, the less likely individuals are to act. People often assume that someone else has already called 911, for example, or that others present are more qualified to help the victim than they are. Never make these assumptions– call 911. Someone’s life could depend on it.

For an interview with Kitty Genovese’s partner, seehttp://soundportraits.org/on-air/remembering_kitty_genovese/transcript.php.


When we begin to draw our own line against evil behavior instead of hoping that someone else will, things can begin to change. –Henry Cloud

***

Heidi Hiatt, MA recently graduated as a Forensic Psychologist.  You can read more of her posts at her personal blog, Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie

Straight Talk in a Crooked World

Defeat the Vampires!

By Heidi Hiatt

WordPress.com blogger annotoole posted the first video listed below today. After I watched it, I realized that a well-known author has posted a whole series of videos to arm the public against manipulative and abusive people.

(Sarah! When did you do this? These are brilliant! What a fun and interesting way to help people avoid and break free from those we’ve always called vampires. Well done, and I love the nods to Lindner and Cleckley. My only beef is the swearing, but I understand why it’s included.)

Ladies and gents, we’ve dated, been engaged to, and married these people. We’ve worked for, are related to, and socialize with them. Some of us may be with them now. Like moths to light, they are drawn to strong, sensitive, successful, giving people that they can use as power sources in an attempt to fill the bottomless pits inside of themselves.

They come to us with a tragic circumstance or critical need that we loving people feel that we are destined to fix. They read us carefully and parrot our values, likes, and dislikes back to us so that we feel instantly bonded to them. They hide truths about their pasts and presents so that we will fit neatly into the niche in their lives that seems to have been custom-made for us.

But once we find that there is a disconnect between their words and actions, that they frequently say they’ll do things they don’t do, that they refuse to maintain proper boundaries with the opposite sex, and so on, they will start to push us away. We become the enemy. Everything becomes our fault. We are constantly reminded of what horrible people we are and how wonderful their other targets (partners) are in contrast.

The more you know about the hidden parts of their life and their affairs, the more you will be attacked. They will enlist the help of others to make you look like the instigator, and cut you loose without any regard for your well-being to allow them to finish their other meals. Because ultimately, they are predators, and you, as a whole, loving, sacrificial child of God, are a feast to them.

I remember what I said before I made the terrible mistake of trusting a vampire: either he’s the smoothest talker I’ve ever met, or he’s the one. He turned out to be the former, the exact type of soul-sucking black hole vortex these videos discuss, to whom I was merely a filling station on the highway of life.

Lacking light, hope, faith, and warmth in his life, he turned to multiple women at once to satisfy his sickness and moved on to more. The endless lies allowed him to act as if he were a serious relationship candidate but be something else entirely. His past, once verified, was different than he said or perceived that it was.

When questioned he could not inflict enough head games, gaslighting, and insults combined with compliments to keep me off balance. When you’re not standing on your own two feet you can be dragged along behind the psycho wagon easily, questioning if something’s wrong with you when the problem is in fact him.

Both men and women are capable of this behavior. Most adults have either experienced these people or know someone who has. They come from every walk of life and class in society. They pry their way into our hearts with pity and consume us like fire.

But remember– we are stronger than them. That’s why they were attracted to us in the first place.

Years ago, I began to realize that the people in my life who attacked me for not bowing to their soul-sucking darkness all seemed to be inwardly deformed by the same disease. When I started to research this, I read Dr. Robert Hare’sSnakes in Suits and was floored to find that someone had already penned a book about one of my experiences.

Since then, other experts have continued to affirm my experiences in words eerily similar to my own records of what has happened. The experiences of vampires’ victims are universal. As their misdeeds and predatory exploits are brought into the light, victims are learning how to beat them at their own game.

Arm yourself with the knowledge in these videos, draw on God’s unlimited strength, grace, and mercy, and break free from these vampires forever!

Mr. Invincible – The Invisible Psychopaths Among Us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YaVYBsQXTo

The Old Soul Mate Trick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0BLMp1Xbso&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Mr. Duplicity – The Passive-Aggressive:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88tcoLQHqU&feature=related

Extreme Energy Vampires Amongst Us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oMa7yvzW_Q&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Exposing the Mask of Insanity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXEgzhMKGeg&feature=BF&list=ULvc1aD1xexV8&index=1

Dark Souls– Mind Games, Manipulation, and Gaslighting:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwWBHRKFYCA&feature=BF&list=ULvc1aD1xexV8&index=9

The Silent Treatment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IwEnZPa0N8&feature=BF&list=ULvc1aD1xexV8&index=14

Getting Rid of a Psycho: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuReWbacyPY&feature=BF&list=ULvc1aD1xexV8&index=20

Empaths and Narcissists– What Do They Have In Common?:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4Gw6OUVuwY&feature=related

An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips,
But the righteous will escape from trouble.
-Proverbs 12:13

Pathology is usually quite subtle, at least in the beginning. –Sandra Brown

Emotional Phantom Limb Pain

By Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

In a session someone says "I really miss what we had. I could get over this if it hadn't been in the most wonderful relationship of my life. I just feel like something has been cut out of me. Like I'm missing a big part of myself now."

Pathology is marked by the issue of illusion. It's why our logo is a mask because it best represents the mirage of normalcy that pathologicals can often project, at least for a while. Cleckley from the 1940’s was a writer about pathology  and referred to it as "The Mask of Sanity." He states that pathology gives all the surface signals of deep connection, the most fun ever experienced with someone else, someone who is really into you yet behind the curtain you are being used as a distraction, a pay check, grotesquely as a "vaginal doormat" or some other form of "feeding" for the pathological piranha.

What you are experiencing you are internally labeling as "normal" or "wonderful" or "love" and yet it really isn't any of those things. It's just a label of experience you have tagged him with. If someone else was watching your relationship as a movie and watched the scene in which the pathological is exposed for what he is, your scene would be tagged and labeled by the watcher very differently than how you thought of your own experience.

That's because the watchers would see the pathological's behaviors and words as manipulative and the watcher would undergo a distinctly different view of the storyline. Your labeling of your experience isn't always accurate. As I often say, "Your thinking is what got you into this pathological relationship. Don't always believe what you think."

Being invested in being correct is part of the human condition and is in part, the way our brains work. The more important the question such as "Does he love me? Is this THE one?" The greater the pleasure will seem from labeling the experience as positive. The more positive the relationship is perceived, the more invested you will be to label the experiences and his behavior as positive and to get the reward of your label such as "him, marriage, or the relationship." Of course none of this is problematic except if you have misread the illusion, believed the mask, and labeled an experience with a narcissist, anti-social, or socio/psychopath as "positive."

The illusion is that:

* He was normal

* He was in love with you

* He was what he said he was

* And he did what he said he did.

In pathology, that's never the case.

* Their attachments are surface (which isn't love)

* They are mentally disordered (which is not normal)

* They never present themselves as disordered/sexually promiscuous/and incapable of love (so he wasn't what he said he was)

* And they harbor hidden lives filled with other sex partners, hook ups, criminality, or illegal/moral behavior (so they don't disclose what he's really up to).

What you had (that you can't possibly miss) is a pathological relationship.

What you miss, is the ability to wrap yourself up like a blanket in the illusion-to go back to the time before you knew this was all illusion.

Women often say when they try to break up they have the feeling that something is cut out of them. They feel like they are missing a part of themselves. This sensation is similar to what is called "phantom limb pain" that is a medical mystery of sorts. When a person has an arm that is accidentally amputated, the portion of the brain that use to receive sensory messages about the existing arm goes through a series of changes that causes it to misread the brain message and creates the "ghostly" illusion that the arm is still there and in pain.

Even though the patient can see that the arm is gone and what they are experiencing is an illusion, they can't stop the distressing phantom limb sensations of wanting to believe the arm is still there, the arm is in pain, the arm is anything but gone.  The amputee must learn to cope differently by beginning with relabeling the experience they are having which is the pretense of the arm is a perceptual illusion.

So it is with those leaving the illusionary pathological love relationship. The emotional pain you experience is based on the illusion the pathological presented, a perceptual illusion that was mislabeled, experienced as positive and invested in. Keeping that positive illusion is initially important to you. Learning to adjust the cognitive dissonance which is the ping ponging between he was good/he was bad is the challenge in overcoming the ghostly emotional baggage of phantom relationship pain.