Jacque Waller "Missing Mother and Hero"

by Susan Murphy-Milano

In the early afternoon of June 1, 2011, Jacque Sue Waller, 39, met with her attorney to finalize the divorce from her estranged and abusive husband, Clay Waller, 40, in Cape Girardeau County, Missouri.  Clay Waller was a former police officer turned contractor and his wife, Jacque, was employed for several years with Blue Cross Blue Shield. According to family members, after years of abuse, she gained the courage to end the relationship with him, packed up her triplets and moved into her sister’s home the previous year.  

After the meeting with her attorney, Jacque drove to Clay Waller’s rental home to pick up the couple’s 5-year old son, Maddox. What she didn’t know was that her son wasn’t there, but was at the home of her soon to be ex-husband’s new girlfriend.  Jacque made a call to her sister at 4:00 pm and left a message to let her know she arrived safely at Clay Waller’s home and would return soon.  This was the last call she would make. 

Clay Waller lured her to his home for, what police now believe, was the sole purpose of killing her. When police interviewed Clay Waller, he claimed the couple got into a fight and Jacque stormed out of the house, on foot, around 4:00 pm. He told investigators that he left the home soon afterwards and when he returned, around 6:00 pm, Jacque’s car was gone from the driveway.  Jacque’s abandoned car was found the next day off I-55 (near Jackson/Fruitland, Missouri) disabled with a flat tire. According to law enforcement, the flat tire was staged and had been punctured with a sharp object.  Her laptop was still in the back seat and police subsequently took it into evidence, and later discovered Jacque’s journal on the computer containing dates and times of conversations and threats Clay Waller made against her life. 

On June 3, 2011, a judge signed the warrant to search Clay’s home and investigators uncovered important evidence.  Five days later, when they attempted to question Clay, he hired an attorney and refused to cooperate with the investigation. 

On July 29^th, 2011, police charged Waller with stealing and harassment. Clay Waller had accepted payment as a contractor in the amount of $55,000 for work never completed.  A judge set bail at $65,000 cash bond. (Waller’s arrest has nothing to do with Jacque disappearance) At the end of August he’s able to make bail and is released. He is arrested again, this time for Internet  against Jacque’s sister, this time facing Federal charges.

Within the first month of Jacque Waller’s disappearance there was very little media coverage about the case, locally or nationally. I spoke with her parents, Stan and Ruby Rawson, and they, along with Monica Caison from CUE Center for Missing Persons, appeared on my weekly radio show, Time’s Up.  We also  booked appearances on The Roth Show and Crime Wire exposing to listeners the abuse Jacque endured during her marriage.  Soon afterwards national media outlets picked up the story and the spotlight was finally turned on the case. Major searches for Jacque were planned in the coming weeks afterwards. 

The family registered the case with CUE Center for Missing persons in North Carolina, and the Scott County Missouri Search and Rescue K-9 Team, both non-profit organizations aiding families of the missing. They began to map out areas and began searching for Jacque.  According to searchers on the ground, during one of the large scale searches, Clay Waller drove by the 150 volunteers, honked his car horn, blew them kisses and flipped them his middle finger.

In September, 2011, another break in the missing mother’s case occurred when Clay Waller’s father related to police his son’s confession to him that he broke her neck during an argument. Waller’s father was ill and in a nursing home when the interview was conducted by law enforcement. Prosecutors were unable to obtain a video affidavit in time and Waller’s father died in the nursing home on December 20^th, 2011, taking his information to the grave.

The first holiday without Jacque proved difficult for the family.  The triplets, now six years old and living with Jacque’s sister, know their mom is gone and made a special Christmas wish for Jacque to be found so they can visit her and place flowers on her gravesite.

On January 3, 2012, Clay Waller received a five year sentence in federal prison for threatening the legal guardian of his children, and his wife’s sister, online. 

During the last of week of April I was invited to Cape Girardeau by the Scott County Search and Rescue K-9 Team for a series of events to train law enforcement and lecture, bringing them awareness about intimate partner homicide and to highlight Jacque’s case. Just days before my arrival in Missouri, Clay Waller was charged with first-degree murder, as well as tampering charges included by the prosecutor. If convicted, he may spend the rest of his life in jail.  Clay Waller appeared on the murder charges in court today, with another hearing date set for the end of July..

                                             Jacque's Parents Stan and Ruby Rawson

Jacque Waller was, in my opinion, a very brave woman.  To endure the hell of abuse on a daily basis, and then figure out a way to leave with her three kids is remarkable, something many women aren’t able to do before they are murdered.  But, she did.  What Jacque Waller also does was set the tone for her kids, and no matter what happened to her she conveyed to them, by her actions, as only a mother can, that they will be safe. 

This should be a wake-up call for anyone involved in an abusive relationship.  Before you announce the marriage or relationship is over, have a solid game plan. Prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video.  Follow the information in the book Time’s Up, and never, under any circumstances, agree to meet with the abuser alone.

 Document The Abuse Website

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases. She is the creator of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit.

Fuel-Passenger-Flight-Hijack: Intimate Partner Violence

by Susan Murphy-Milano

Angie never thought when she married her husband in 1988 that she would be "one of those women." Stuck in a relationship with a controlling and violent man. She met her husband in her last year of college. He came from a stable family environment and by all appearances acted normal. While they dated he was very attentive to her. Angie graduated magna cum laude with a masters degree in nursing. They dated for about a year before deciding to marry. The couple settled down in Florida. He had a contacting business and Angie worked at a nearby hospital.

Six months or so into the marriage Angie's husband began with verbal assaults. Angie says "he didn't like me to work extra shifts, you know he always wanted to know where I was at all times. When I didn't come home straight after my shift he would accuse me of fooling around with an intern or doctor on staff. It seemed there was nothing I could do to please him. And yet I was not doing anything wrong. Most nights he found fault over everything from the how I wore my hair to the way I cleaned the bathroom. One night I got called into work a shift. We only had one bathroom and I needed to jump in the shower. On purpose my husband tripped me in the hallway. I should have left then and never returned. But I learned the day before I was pregnant."

Angie said she loved him and believed he was under pressure to make a go of the contracting business. She excused his behavior. Angie wanted to believe his outbursts were only temporary. When Angie announced they were going to have a baby her husband was happy and their relationship improved. Once their daughter was born "he changed all the attention was on the baby, not on him." The fights became physical. Angie stayed because she was too embarrassed to seek help or tell anyone she was a victim of abuse. "My God, I am an educated woman, how could this have happened to me? Where was I going with an infant?"

Angie gave birth to another daughter two years later. She worked part-time at the hospital and on weekends when a shift was available. Trying to see the good in her husband Angie continued to convince herself the rare moments of good were enough to outweigh the bad. Over the years the bad consisted of broken jaws, wrists and ribs. "He would always apologize, nurse me back on my feet and repeat the abuse once I was my old self."

When her oldest entered high school she made an appointment to see an attorney. Angie had money hidden away and could get a job anywhere in the country. Her husband found out and informed Angie "if she went through with a divorce" it would be her death. In no uncertain terms Angie's life had been permanently hijacked.

In 2009, with both her children grown and living their lives, Angie began making arrangements to end the marriage. But she had to do it very carefully. If he got wind of her plans, Angie felt certain she would be dead. Angie was in crisis and required a road-map with directions.

Angie reached out to me and we formulated a plan of action. She started taking items from the home that would not be missed. Angie secured a post office box and a cell phone from Walmart that could not be tracked.

She was very careful not to tell anyone. Following the information in both the Moving Out Moving On book and the Time's Up guide, Angie at her own pace moved forward.

This past Thursday, Angie prepared a letter to her husband, informing him she had left. This is important as he would have reported her missing. Her attorney advised against it, I argued it was necessary to do for many reasons. With everything she needed already in another state in her new home, Angie placed the letter on the counter and headed out to the driveway where her girlfriend was waiting to take her to the airport.

Saturday Angie spent the first night of what will be many in her new home. Sunday morning she called to report how good she felt. "My life, I have control of my life."

A good relationship should not be lived in secrecy or fear. A good relationship is one where both partners are treated with mutual respect and love.

Angie's life was hijacked by an abusive relationship. She embarked on a journey in 1988 with the goal of living happily ever after. Instead, Angie became a passenger on a flight of never ending violence and abuse. Once she took the steps to take back her life and implement a plan of action that fit her needs, Angie was no longer a passenger, but a survivor. In the middle of her life she changed flight plans, charting her own course to a life without the fear of violence.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusiverelationship. The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship"is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship, create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Networkon Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

Peggy Dianovsky: "Last Plea"

by Susan Murphy Milano

The heavy burden a missing person’s family lives with when their loved one has yet to be found in unimaginable. And in cases where law enforcement is outwitted by a psychopathic narcissist in a case of intimate partner violence leading to homicide, they're outmatched by with type of dangerous predator.

Publicly disarming, in every way because this type of predator is able to disguise any hint of being capable of carrying out a murder. The way a psychopathic narcissist presents themselves in dress, and discussion can fool the most skilled team of investigators working on a missing persons or possible homicide case. In my expert opinion, law enforcement is not trained to deal with these types of killers. And this is evidenced by cases in the news from the dismembering of Laura Ackerson from North Carolina, her body was discovered over the weekend to the recent case of missing mom Jacque Waller or Susan Powell missing since December 6, 2009, both women wanted out of the marriage. And their intimate partner predators granted their wish, by in my opinion, taking their lives.

An example of this type of predator is Robert Dianovsky whom maintained that his wife Peggy left their home voluntarily and took a bag of clothing with her when she vanished in September of 1982. Peggy Dianovsky left her yellow Chevrolet Nova behind and never picked up her last paycheck from her employer, Dominick's. Blood was found spattered at the top of the stairway in the Dianovsky home, but none of it was ever collected for analysis.

Robert took the boys and moved to Arizona sometime after 1982, he also filed for divorce claiming Peggy abandoned both he and the children. He was charged with Peggy's murder in 2003. Their three sons went to the police in 2002 after tape-recording a conversation with Robert where he made suspicious statement about Peggy's disappearance. One of the Dianovsky children claims he witnessed his mother's murder, and all three of them say they saw Robert abuse and threaten Peggy. They claim they repressed the memories of the incidents but recovered them in therapy sessions as adults. One of Robert's friends also testified that Robert asked him for a gun in 1982 to "get rid of" Peggy. And Robert claimed his wife was having an affair.

In all, six hours of audio were taped when Dianovsky's three sons confronted him and accused him of their mother's murder. The sons contend their father killed Peggy Dianovsky on Sept. 12, 1982, in their Schaumburg, Ill., home during a brutal beating.

On the tapes, the accused man says, "I hit her pretty good." He also admits to previously saying his wife would never get out of the marriage alive. Dianovsky also said that he cut off his wife's tennis clothes in a jealous rage, and that his grown sons can tell their kids, "Your dad did something to her."

The trial took place in Cook County, Illinois before a judge rather than a jury. Judge Robert Porter acquitted Robert after an eight-day trial in November 2004. He stated that Peggy probably had in fact been murdered after her disappearance, but there was insufficient evidence to prove that Robert did it.

I would have never heard about this case if it were not written about in the blog Mothers Are Vanishing. You see the world had all but forgotten Peggy Dianovsky with the exception of her sons, 2 brothers, Gus and sister Ann Peterson whom up until recently was a regular contributor now on hiatus here at Time’s Up. They kept hope alive in their hearts praying to God that she would be recovered from where she is hidden.

Now, sadly one light of hope is about to go dim as Peggy’s brother Gus has only a few weeks of life left. Diagnosed with terminal cancer, he will leave without having the one wish granted to him while still alive, to find his sister.

I surmise that once he is called home to be united with God, he will finally be reunited with his sister Peggy. I wish there was a way from him to send word on earth to the others holding the light of hope so that they each many finally have peace.

The only way for this to happen is for the only person with the answers to be a man and somehow get word to where Peggy Dianovsky can be found. Or perhaps the woman to whom he is currently married that is in my opinion, also the keeper of this dark secret.

I am making a plea to them both. Robert cannot be re-tried in the murder of Peggy. Perhaps God will take heed and show mercy on him when it is his time if he provides the information to the family.

Robert or his wife (also named Peggy) can call in a tip that cannot be traced back to them. All they have to do is contact the Schaumburg police department at 1-847-882-3586. Or they can email me at timesupforjustice@gmail.com and we can pass along the information.

Being cold and cowardly is one thing not honoring the wish of a dying man is as criminal as the life you took away.

******

If you are in a relationship that has a history of abuse or violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!



The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. And she is a homicide survivor, the daughter of a Chicago violent crimes detective who killed her mother before committing suicide.

Giving Justice A Voice: Intimate Partner Violence Crimes

By Susan Murphy Milano

This past weekend friends, colleagues and the community gathered for a memorial walk honoring Kathryn Jackson age 45, the director of human resources at Hubbard House which provides services for victims of domestic violence. Kathryn was the victim of a murder-suicide at the hands of her boyfriend, George Chaney. On December 22, 2010, she was shot and killed by her violent and abusive former boyfriend who then took his own life.

It is a wonderful tribute to honor a woman who worked within an organization that makes a difference in the lives of so many. But, that is not the direction I am headed with this article.

In 2009, prior to Kathryn's murder, Hubbard House along with law enforcement, implemented a new weapon to use when they respond to domestic violence calls: a questionnaire designed to predict whether a victim could eventually be killed by an abuser. It was an important tool towards identifying the risks for victims of intimate partner homicide and stalking. I have always said when you do what you have always done, expect the result to be the same. Hubbard House got my attention, they implemented a strategy that was outside of the box. The outcome for those who now sought their direction and assistance would have an opportunity to a better plan for a successful outcome.

Today marks another milestone for a successful outcome from outside of the box. 

It was one year ago today, marking my own mother's birthday, that we released and launched "Time's Up. My mother's life, cut short at the age of 47, as the wife of violent and abusive law enforcement officer, would eventually be the key that opened doors for those affected by violence to leave safely. Because of her, and my work over the past 20 years, the book "Times' Up: A Guide in How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships" takes those from the "State of being controlled" to the "State of being in control." This means from the moment a person decides to end their relationship, or file for a divorce from a toxic and perhaps dangerous individual, they will be learning the steps necessary to protect themselves, which is the key. That key to the door opened up to the world when an amazing woman lost her life.

Soon, organizations and law enforcement across the county will be replacing the questionnaire with the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video or the "EAA." Through two major Universities, to be announced in the coming weeks, will be placing this affidavit and video in the hands of domestic violence agencies and first responders across the county as part of a new feasibility, measures and outcome study as it relates to saving lives.

This groundbreaking book is a landscape of specific steps towards safety and addresses critical issues that a person who is stressed and in fear may not think of. This guide is a life raft providing structure in the midst of chaos and it has kept many victims of intimate partner violence, to date, alive.

Among the tools and forms, is the procedure of an “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit”, a sworn statement detailing the facts of an individual’s victimization, preserving the specifics so they are not lost even if the victim is reported missing. It is difficult to think about speaking from the grave, but no different than any life insurance policy obtained in consideration for those left behind.

An “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video has the additional psychological benefit of being forced to face reality and admit that the potential for the ultimate kind of violence exists…and that if it occurs the perpetrator will be held accountable.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: A Victim’s Voice(c)
Domestic violence or intimate partner victims now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. The" Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" or "EAA" records victim's stories, histories, and experiences which are preserved and stored on their behalf. These videos will provide answers to the many questions, allegations, and fears that arise when a person has disappeared, gone missing, or been found dead. 

Recent cases, such as missing mother Susan Powell of Utah, Kelly Rothwell of Florida, and women like Stacy Peterson, where the victim’s police officer husband is the person of interest, is the classic example of the benefits of this type of evidence. If Stacy Peterson, or any woman found murdered or is missing, had done an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, ON TAPE, from following the information in the “Time’s Up" book on a flash drive, they would be able to describe:

- threats made against her life or wellbeing, including details of how the perpetrator would carry out the threat
- incidents of past abuse that the victim has endured
- admissions or comments made to her about other victims or people abused
- where evidence or weapons would or could be located
- possible alibis that the perpetrator would make up in his defense (including identification of people who could be co-defendant’s or co-suspects)
- portray visible injuries or marks

Next year when Hubbard House holds their annual walk for lives lost in the war on intimate partner homicide, they too, have a new tool for which to celebrate and save lives. "Time's Up!"


Happy Birthday, Mom!






Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Murder in Progress: Elizabeth New Jersey

[In the town of Elizabeth New Jersey, a murder is being planned, in progress, by a commissioned police officer as I write this post.]

The officer and his wife have been married for more than a dozen years. The couple has 2 children. Yesterday, she had her husband served with divorce papers after years of having a gun pulled and cocked to her head, numerous rapes, and terroristic tactics to keep her a victim and not call police for help. “I’ve had enough” she said. “My husband is not going to get away with it.”

This officer has not acted alone, receiving assistance from his fellow tin shield cowards in uniform as they assist this bozo with a badge. To add fuel to this already deadly flame, the officer’s brother is a high ranking Lieutenant, his supervisor in the same department.

Similar to Kathleen Savio , wife of former Bolingbrook Police Sgt. Drew Peterson,( who is awaiting trial for her murder) found dead on March 1, 2004, in a dry bathtub, Savio was also silenced with the assistance of fellow officers with the same pattern of conduct taking place in Elizabeth, New Jersey.

During the months leading up to the discovery of Kathleen's corpse, officers routinely sat in their squad cars in front of her house, drinking coffee -- the ultimate 'screw you' for thousands of police officers' wives whose cries for help fall on deaf ears. In March 2002, Drew Peterson and Kathleen Savio filed for divorce. On March 11, 2002, Kathleen secured a temporary emergency order of protection. In an unusual move before the divorce was finalized, Kathleen also signed a power of attorney so Drew could buy a home just down the street with his then-underage new love interest. Victims of violence always wish their aggressive, abusive partners would move on to someone else. Kathleen’s strategy was brilliant. She got out of her own way; however humiliating at the time, she disarmed Peterson by waiving her rights to the property as a marital asset. Kathleen knew firsthand the danger she faced from Drew, a police officer and abusive husband, if she refused to sign the document. She signed it only out of pure fear.

When all her attempts failed to get help from the police -- those whose job it is to serve and protect -- Kathleen Savio wrote letters to then-Will County Assistant State’s Attorney Elizabeth Fragale documenting Peterson’s alleged abuse. They included claims that in July 2002, Peterson held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. But Savio was only further victimized when the state attorney’s office dropped the ball. Prosecutors should have filed separate felony stalking charges for threatening phone calls from Peterson and for each time he stalked her. They didn't -- not even when the court issued the emergency order of protection against him.

Sending the letters was a courageous move not only by a victim but by a police officer's wife. These letters, written and signed by Kathleen, would not see the light of day until a parade of media swarmed down on the home at Pheasant Chase Drive until after news broke that Stacy Peterson, his fourth wife, had vanished

The Elizabeth, New Jersey's officers wife has also written letters to Attorney General Eric Holder; Newark Attorney General’s office; Office of the Director of the Elizabeth Police James Cosgrove; Chief of Police Ronald Simon; Union County prosecutor’s office; Sen. Frank Lautenberg; New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie; and the Mayor of Elizabeth. The letters were sent on September 22, 2010, detailing the times, dates and details of the horrific violence. The only person whom responded so far is the Mayor who contacted the officer’s wife earlier this week.

Here is a brief overview of it, in her own words, what she has experienced: a Police Officer from the Elizabeth Police Dept., in Elizabeth, NJ. I had my husband arrested 8/12/2010, and was granted a Temporary Restraining Order of Protection. Which was later dropped because the night before going to court; I was threatened by a private caller to drop all charges. I was intimated and scared and never showed up. The Temporary Restraining Order was dropped.

On 8/19/2010 incident of dropping TRO, this gave my husband the opportunity to harass me with phone calls, and threatening texts. I t would start out just being friendly to escalating to vivacious threats of harming me. I tried to ignore them, causing me emotional distress and fear. I fear him, because after many years of mental and physical abuse from him, I know this anger and rage....I know he is going to come after me or what’s most important in my life "My Daughters". This man suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, which I would have the dept. have him evaluated psychologically.

On September 20- 22, 2010, my husband decided it was a day to harass me with over 50 calls to my home and texting. I sent a email to his Internal Affairs office stating to please advice the officer to leave me alone... this was ignored by the Captain. Nothing was done, because he continued until September 28, 2010. I had to go to Ocean County Court and get another TRO. Which was granted, and he obeyed the TRO... I have a concern with his internal affairs dept. they are conducting a investigation, in which to me seems fictional. I understand that the code of blue is a brotherhood to protect each other. Well in these cases there should be protection for the victim not the Police Officer. We are not trained in the law or how to inflect bodily harm, nor do we carry guns and badges. We have no power or authority to manipulate the justice system.

I could continue but you get the idea. The Elizabeth New Jersey’s officer wife currently has a civil restrain order, which means nothing for her safety and life.

As she say’s “ It’s just a piece of paper, telling him to obey. But it gives me no protection from Police Dept. should he violate the civil order.” I And every physical abuse after my beating, he would throw the phone at me, and “ Go ahead bitch call the police” and laugh.

“I don’t want to be the next victim I want to be safe and alive for my daughters.”

I currently am in the possession of information and documents that I will not hesitate releasing, including names and badge numbers should another incident or threat to harm this officers wife from Elizabeth, New Jersey, take place from this point going forward.

I should mention before I receive correspondence from those angry officers who attempt to post anonomously or send me emails laced with threats, that I was the daughter of a decorated Chicago violent crimes detective. I am an expert in the area of officer related intimate violence and homicide. My career began in 1989 when my mother was murdered by my father.

Gentlemen, I have no problem coming to Elizabeth, New Jersey as I did recently in Garvin County, OKlahoma, with an army of media and others if the powers in place, fail to immediately stop this murder in progress.

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold. And she is the host of Time's Up on http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and she is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated show with Dr. Laurie Roth on http://www.therothshow.com/)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

RN’s: Victims or Bad Asses

By Sheryl McCollum

The ER is open 24/7.  It provides unrestricted access to the public.  Nurses and doctors are trained to help all in need of medical attention.   However, the staff  is exposed constantly to an un-screened and potentially high-risk population for violent behavior.  

I have two sisters that are emergency room nurses.  They have both dealt with violent patients.  Both have been hit, kicked and threatened.  One of my sisters was even seriously injured by an inmate that was receiving care.  Unfortunately, most people are not aware of the dangers for nurses in the ER.

ER nurses can deal with individuals that are suicidal, schizophrenic, drug addictive, and/or violent criminals all in a shift. 

When dealing with a violent offender, the police can call for back-up.  They have a variety of weapons to defend themselves with such as: OC Spray, ASP batons, and a gun.  Additionally, a police officer also has the authority to place the offender  in a holding cell.  Once the fight is over, the criminal is transported to the hospital for care.  The criminal arrives at the hospital.  The ER reality -- nurses deal with the same violent criminals without the back-up, weapons, or authority to place in a cell.

I have had people tell me that the nurse can strap the violent patient to the bed and call security.  Yes, they can; however,  how will they get straps on a strung out, violent criminal who attempted to harm the police?   Nurses are not trained in self defense or take down procedures. 

If a person potentially overdosing PCP is transported to the ER, the ER nurses are dealing with the same violent, strong, crazed individual that the police would.  If a criminal is injured, the police take them to the hospital.  These criminals may have raped, burned or killed innocent people.  Again, nurses do not have the same defense training as a police officer. 

What about the mental ill patient that has not committed a crime but is in need of medical treatment?  These patients also pose a tremendous risk for the people that give them care.  These patients often do not come into the hospital with the police.  The nurses may never see any security with these individuals, but this situation can still be very dangerous for all who care for this patient. 

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), in 2000, the injury rate for nurses is among the highest, and 25 of every 10,000 full-time nurses were injured in workplace assaults. This rate is much higher than private-sector industries, which is 2 per 10,000.

The reality is cops, correctional officers and nurses all deal with the same people.  Nurses are the only ones that have had no training on how to deal with hand-to-hand combat, have no radio, no weapons, and no real lifeline to call for back-up. 

I admire the work that they do and the heroic conditions that they perform under each and every shift!   

Victim or Bad Ass??? - I say both!

 

Sheryl McCollum, MS
Director
Cold Case Investigative Research Institute