What About the Missing? Organizations NEED Donations

by Cynthia Caron

First let me say, I am so very sorry for the way the Karen Klein, the 68 year old woman on the bus, who was treated horribly by the bratty bullying teens with terrible words hurled at the woman. Nobody deserves to be treated that way and those that did the bullying should need to have to make amends by community service, assisting those who cannot help themselves is a good thought, supervised of course.

But I must add...am I right to feel this way? $400,000 raised by caring people from around the world? I want nothing more than to see Karen Klein be able to use that money to fund her living expenses so that she doesn't have to work if she chooses not to. Also to use it towards enjoying precious times with her 8 grandchildren without having to worry how to come up with extra money for each of their birthdays.

However, with that said, I cannot help feeling very sad. Maybe even a bit jealous? It is so hard to raise funds for our 501c3 nonprofit in which we assist law enforcement and families of missing loved ones. Not just "missing" as in, "where is Uncle Joe that moved to Arizona years ago?" and not "I wonder where my high school friend went? I've not heard from him/her in years?" Those are not missing loved ones. Missing loved ones are somebody's child, no matter the age, that disappeared off the face of the earth in the middle of a normal life. One who did not show up to work and was not home for a very important family event. One who would NEVER go missing on their own. One who has children at home wondering where their mommy or daddy is and family not knowing how to explain except to say "We are looking, honey." Why can't their pain and the awful roller coaster ride of not knowing if their child is alive or dead not touch the hearts of the same people who donated to Karen Klein?

I know fundraising is very difficult, trust me…we do it all of the time…yet, our nonprofit existed of 85% of donations by myself out of my own personal funds and those of a few staff members. I know other nonprofits helping families of missing and doing search and rescue experience the very same situation. Our nonprofit, for example, asks for very little. Perhaps a $5.00 donation. If 100 people donated $5.00 that would be $500 and would cover the costs of printing posters for missing loved ones for four families. A far cry from what we really need but every penny helps. We are all 100% volunteers, as are most nonprofits who do not have government grants. We do not draw salaries and our funds are running short. We are doing all possible to reach out and get the public to please take notice of our work, of the pain our families are enduring and of the many more things we want to do for them…and are struggling due to funding. Bank accounts that hold less than $600.

As stated, this is not only for LostNMissing Inc, this is also a problem our families of missing are enduring, as well. They depend on us for services, yet at the same time many are trying to raise funds for searches to bring their children's bodies home. Now that is sad. , Thus far this year we've only raised $1,256 for our organization from public donations. Our families raise an average of $5,000 (if they are lucky) and yet....over $400,000 has gone towards helping this woman who had to endure kids disrespecting her in the most nasty way. WHY do people not care to donate to help find missing loved ones, too? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

It is frustrating. Over 2000 loved ones go missing EVERY DAY. Families are having to halt searches when they have very good leads, media coverage only goes so far...billboards are needed for awareness and the cost is unbelievable! Families need to increase or add rewards. We are of the firm believe that EVERYONE missing...someone holds the answers. We need people to be more accountable to helping these families...people need to have a conscience who have information that can help these families. I believe the reason donations are not coming in is because the general public has no idea what it is like to lose a missing loved one. It doesn't touch their hearts" in the way that they want to help because they've never experienced it" or they feel it is "well covered" or that it happens "so rarely" that it is not truly a cause to support. How wrong they are. Every missing person is someone's missing child.

The networks have reality shows from "evicting people from their apartments" to "chasing hogs in the wild" and they need to really re-focus and start doing some reality shows of what it is like to be a parent of a missing child. Perhaps walk in the shoes of families and the roller coaster ride of pain to see what they are going through. Now that is reality. I hope producers out there start thinking of helping families of missing instead of sensationalizing people who eat drywall and rocks. And I hope those who have the means to donate will consider donating towards any and all organizations that are struggling, without government grants, and who are all 100% volunteers trying to help these families of missing.

Here are just a few nonprofit organizations that are in need of funding:

www.lostnmissing.com LostNMissing Inc.
www.lrcf.org Laura Recovery Center
www.blackandmissinginc.com Black & Missing Foundation
www.ncmissingpersons.org Cue Center
www.projectjason.org Project Jason
www.kristenfoundation.org Kristen Foundation
http://heidisearchcenter.com Heidi Search Center

Won't you take a moment today and donate whatever you can afford? Even if only $5.00. Every bit helps.

Cynthia Caron
President/Founder
LostNMissing, Inc.
PH: 603.548.6548
www.lostnmissing.

   

Battle Fatigue: The War for Peace

By: Todd Blumhorst

We have been thrown blindly into a war in which we never wanted to fight. They entered our lives like a thief in the dark; they not only took our loved one, they also made a declaration of war upon our souls. Did they not expect us to react when they took our loved one from us? Did they think we would sit idly by and watch justice slip away? This was your Pearl Harbor, a blind attack from nowhere. You weren’t prepared for the horror, but you were forced to fight.

Sometimes it is a short battle for justice where someone is caught and the criminal justice system is able to secure a conviction and the person is sent away for a long time. Other times, it can be a very long and drawn out ordeal for those survivors seeking justice for their loved ones. For those cases that go unresolved for years, the toll on the survivors is devastatingly painful to endure. These battles can also have multiple fronts and you may feel like you are fighting in many directions. The perpetrator may be free and you battle the fear of retaliation. You may have a case that simply lacks any viable physical evidence; a battle with frustration can wear on one’s soul. In some cases, the police don’t work the case as they should for a myriad of reasons; the battle of apathy can be one of the most vicious on the survivors. How does one engage in these battles for months and years? How does one find peace when justice is absent? How do you maintain sanity in an insane situation? These are questions many survivors have asked many times before.

My war started on Thursday, September 20, 1990 in Mendota, Illinois when my sister vanished without a trace. She disappeared in a 25 foot span of space from our garage, where she parked upon returning home from work, to our home. In the initial investigation it was found that her boyfriend made self-incriminating statements that indicated he had murdered my sister. His comments could not constitute a confession because no body was found and there were no signs of struggle. The first front in my war was established. As her case made its way through the trenches of the legal system many mistakes were made and her case became political. Her case suffered further battle wounds as did the hearts of those who loved Veronica. Now I had 2 battle fronts going in this war. The case drug out for an inordinate length of time and we often went years with no word from the police but they would always say her case was being investigated actively when they were questioned about the progress. In 2004 a new investigator was placed in charge of her case, my 3rd battlefront was established. The new investigator dated my sister at one point and we as a family felt there was a conflict of interest since there was a relationship between the victim and the investigator. Rumors had spread around town that he was possibly involved in her murder which added to the stress of this war. I am still in the trenches of this war 21 years and four months later, I continue in my fight for justice for my sister.

Today, I consider myself a battle scarred veteran of this 21 year war. The devastatingly sad part is that I am not alone; there are tens of thousands in my position. We suffer from battle fatigue from our individual wars. Our scars are not visible on the outside; but if you could see our souls, then the scars would be blatantly obvious. We walk around as wounded warriors and many walk past us with no awareness of our wounds. How do we survive? How do we survive this war? How do we find peace when there is no justice? Survivor battle fatigue can wear one out both physically and emotionally. It can manifest into physical ailments and a high percentage of survivors suffer from chronic illnesses. The psychological trauma often has the power to change thought patterns and beliefs as well as the increase of psychological disorders such as PTSD and a state of constant hyper vigilance.

There is no easy answer to these quandaries many survivors face. The trenches of this war are filled with perils and obstacles. The only way to really get through this war is one day at a time. You are going to have many bad days, but you will also have good days. Realizing you don’t have a lot of control at this point is difficult to face, but it is the reality. Adding to your battle wounds by beating yourself up over areas you cannot control is a common survivor problem. Letting go of things out of your control will help you manage emotions much easier and it will reduce stress on your mind and body. Nature can be an effective healer to the human spirit; immersing yourself in the tranquility of nature will allow your mind to rest some from the busy world around you and give you a moment of peace. Cherishing those brief moments of peace is beneficial to your soul because it keeps hope for longer periods of peace alive. Helping others can help rebuild that human connection and trust; it can even be small acts of kindness that help ease your mind.

There is no magic trick that will ever totally erase the pain you feel from the devastating loss you have experienced. It is truly a battle in which you have been forced to face, but peace is possible. You will never be the same person and you will have a new reality to live in, but building new bridges and connections are essential for survival. If you are having debilitating psychological issues years after the homicide, you may also need to seek a professional for help. It is not a sign of weakness to see a professional; it is a sign of strength. Time alone will not heal your wounds; it is what you do with that time that matters. Your life was changed forever on that date but you made it through the ordeal, you may be badly scarred, but you have survived. Abraham Lincoln once said: “I am not concerned that you have fallen; I am concerned that you arise.” Mustering the strength to rise can be monumental, but it is possible.

Todd J. Blumhorst, Advocate,
Assistant Volunteer Coordinator

Homicide Survivors Inc.
32 N. Stone Ave. #1408
Tucson, Az. 85701

520.740.5729
azhomicidesurvivors.org

BE WISE!!!!! Is the child really missing?

 by Cynthia Caron

You could be liable if you are not wise to situations involving missing loved ones, especially children!!

While this may seem harsh...it is important to protect those whose photos are going around saying they are missing. We do not know if they are being stalked or legitimate missing loved ones?

Here are a few policies at LostNMissing Inc and most of those who are advocates for missing should adhere to the same when posting on social media sites :

1. We cannot post missing children without a registration at our org so that we can verify with police if it is a minor under the age of 18. Their immediate family/guardian (who have legal custody) must register them and will be asked to sign a form allowing us to distribute the photo of their minor child. THE ONLY EXCEPTIONS are posters from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children....and media news alerts of missing children.

2. We cannot post missing adults...EVER...without a police contact phone number to verify they are missing and only will share posters that contain police phone numbers.

3. Missing Adults who have alerts in the media news can be posted.

If you have a friend, or a friend of a friend, who has a missing minor child under 18....please tell them to call 1-800-THE-LOST right away (NCMEC) and their local police department. Advise them if they are going to post their missing child's photo to use the name of the reporting police agency and the case number, otherwise...it could be viewed as someone just "stalking" someone or a non custodial parent , or otherwise, trying to find a child's location. THIS IS CRITICAL. Be wise. Protect our youth. ASK for this info before taking a "friend" on Facebook's word that their child is missing. We recently saw this happen not even two weeks ago in which the person looking for a child was NOT the legal guardian and portrayed as if the child was a runaway from their own home...when in fact upon police confirmation....that person did not have custody nor rights to that child and the child was with a parent in protective custody. BE WISE.

Respectfully,

Cynthia Caron
President/Founder
LostNMissing, Inc.

Phone: 603.965.4621
Cell: 603.548.6548
www.lostnmissing.com

Fair for All

By Anita Sullivan

Don’t you wish life was fair and people got what they deserved (both good and bad) and there was justice for all?  I really do.  But that’s not how things go, and anyone who works with victims or their families knows that better than most. 

Some children I adore are getting the short end of the stick right now.  Their dad is making decisions that are hurting him- but when you’re an adult and make the decisions, you face the consequences.  Their mom is amazing, and showing her kids real love by the way she handles it all.  She isn’t getting what’s fair, and neither are her kids.  What’s fair would be a dad and husband who chooses the right way, keeps his priorities in line, and doesn’t back away from the tough things.  What’s reality is kids and mom who are hurting.  Doesn’t seem fair.

And that’s just one of several situations around me like that right now. 

Since we see so much unfairness in the world, we sometimes try to balance that with fairness in everything we can control.  Sound familiar?  As organizations, we may help only in equal and fair amounts, helping one only how we can help all.  In professional settings, we often only give one what we can give all, even though we may want it different.  At home, we try to give equal portions and equal gifts and equal time.  We try to be fair.

 

But I heard a superb speaker this week, who said something completely opposite.

“Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone”- Andy Stanley

This doesn’t suggest that you drop the quality and quantity of the time, attention, and help that you give those you help or those you love.  It simply means that when you have the chance to really make a difference in the life of one person, take it.  Don’t worry about who you can’t do the same for; give what you can to that one.

 

Most of us have heard the story of the boy throwing starfish into the sea.  A passerby asked him why he bothered throwing some back when he couldn’t save them all.  He said it didn’t matter.  The boy simply responded “it mattered to that one” as he threw one into the waves, “and that one” as he threw another. 

Those we can’t reach or help can be overwhelming for those of us working to serve others.  My encouragement today is that you aren’t asked to help them all.  But for each person you do, you make a world of difference. 

Today, go out and do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. 

 Anita Sullivan is the sister of a missing person, and long time advocate of victims, even before having a personal connection to the world of lost. During college,Anita found a passion for helping others and was involved in a variety of ministries. She then started a career in non-profit, first working with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. She went on to work with at risk families through a supervised visitation program before spending several years in fundraising and advocacy. She now tries to reach people with a message of Hope through writing and speaking, while honoring her brother, Michael "Austin" Davis, who has been missing since 2007. To learn more about Anita, visit her at losingaustin.blogspot.com.

Another Saturday Morning

 by Anita Sullivan 

I drove by the morning after. There were two cars in the drive, but no people in sight. There were no signs of trouble, just two marks of orange spray paint. If you didn’t know otherwise, you might think the marks were from the utility company, marking where work was to happen. I was driving out of my neighborhood, down the same street and past the same houses I do every day, for another Saturday morning at the ball field with my kids. Others were walking their dogs, looking for garage sales, headed out for errands.

But in that home, just past the orange spray paint, nothing would ever be the same. The afternoon prior, Cynthia Hayes had come to her home to get belongings, at a time when she didn’t expect her husband home. They were separated, and must have had a history of violence, because a protective order against him had recently expired. It wouldn’t have helped her this day anyway. A lot of details are unclear as the investigation continues, but this much is clear- David Hayes was home. David Hayes had a shotgun. David Hayes used it.

As his wife and a friend ran from the home, he chased them. He first shot the friend, who fell where one of the orange marks of spray paint stains. His wife made it into a neighbor’s home. A neighbor encountered him and begged that he not shoot her, reminding him that she had a child. She later said that he was blank and she knew had snapped. He did not shoot her. But did go into the neighbor’s home where his wife was, shooting and killing her. He then returned home and shot himself, dying hours later.

That night, our neighborhood was closed off, with media swarming and crime scene units working. People gathered on the street. Friends and family who saw our street on the news called to check on us, and many we knew were posting on Facebook about the horror. But the next morning, as I drove by and saw just orange paint, I was the most disturbed. Not that such violence can happen. But that we hide so much and see so little, and go back to normal so quickly.

The morning after, even if you hadn’t heard the news, if you were paying close enough attention you might have seen that the orange paint was marking a crime scene. But we don’t pay close attention- we drive by in our own world, missing the clues of the terrible and painful things happening just past those signs. What signs were there before this murder? We didn’t know this family, but someone must have had clues. What signs may I be missing in those I know and love that they need help? The danger they face isn’t likely as big as what Cynthia faced. But this was such a reminder that I need to open my eyes and be willing to do more.

The children left behind are young adults, and I pray have the support and love of many. There is also still a woman battling for her life in ICU. As I drove by tonight, the cleanup had begun, and family and friends have started to gather.

It’s too late for anyone to help Cynthia. Look around, who might need your help, no matter how subtle the clues or seemingly small the danger? I’m honoring her tonight by asking that of myself, and of you.

Links to Articles:

http://jacksonville.com/news/crime/2012-03-09/story/2-dead-1-critically-injured-clay-county-domestic-shooting

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/topstories/article/246270/483/Two-Dead-One-Hospitalized-After-Orange-Park-Shooting

 Anita Sullivan is the sister of a missing person, and long time advocate of victims, even before having a personal connection to the world of lost. During college,Anita found a passion for helping others and was involved in a variety of ministries. She then started a career in non-profit, first working with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. She went on to work with at risk families through a supervised visitation program before spending several years in fundraising and advocacy. She now tries to reach people with a message of Hope through writing and speaking, while honoring her brother, Michael "Austin" Davis, who has been missing since 2007. To learn more about Anita, visit her at losingaustin.blogspot.com.

My Apologies To Matt Hoff

By Cynthia Caron

Matthew Hoff, better known as Matt, I want to apologize to you on behalf of the state of California. California has the most expensive land, homes, movie stars, millionaires, Silicon Valley, and Corporate headquarters of major companies. Many of the best Universities, hospitals and health institutions in this country. So yes...an apology is due you and I've a feeling it won't be from the State of California, so please accept my apology to you and your family on behalf of myself and many of our Facebook followers. So while my writing here may come across as scrambled and covering a vast area of "topics" , know it is because I am fuming! Yes, my thoughts are scattered and I am angry…but know my thoughts will come around to the same conclusion and that is we, as a country, are not taking care of those who cannot take care of themselves and we have the worst wasteful spending and choices made in our government that will invariably be the downfall of our people. All people.

For those reading, are you also asking what on earth is going on in this country? For the record, it's not just California. It's a political year people. Wake up and know what is going on around you and know the issues you are about to vote come November. There is no excuse and certainly there is a problem when our system could give two flying hoots for those who are mentally disabled like Matt. The people in the state of California will waste their money on Botox and $3,000 handbags? Wouldn't it be a bit kind if they perhaps help support their local mental health clinics at the cost of one handbag per year? Maybe give up purchasing another pair of Testoni Moro shoes? Course we have a President trying to stress this point, yet his own family spends 17 days in Hawaii, comes home and his wife jets off with our tax paying money to ski in Aspen, Colorado. I can bet she didn't fly Jet Blue.

In the meantime we have Governors who demand that flags be flown in government offices at half-mast because a singer, Whitney Houston, has died. Just curious if the state recognized the passing when their own resident, Roberto (Robert) DeJesus Perez, died of a brain aneurism at the age of 18, a high school graduate who attended William Patterson University whose goal was to work for the United Nations died and became an organ donor? In doing so, he saved the lives of five people: a 63 year-old man received his heart, a 40 year-old man received his kidney and pancreas, a 51 year-old man received his lungs, a 46 year-old man received his liver and a 30 year-old man received his other kidney. Were the flags at half-mast for his funeral? After all Governors can determine when, how and why a flag is flown at half-mast and it is no longer for those who die in service to our country. In my eyes, Robert DeJesus Perez was a hero too…I hope his family at least received a condolence note.

What truly is going on in our country? Why is Matt being denied the right to proper medical care which includes his needed anti-psychotic medications? Why was he released into the world at 4:00 am from a police station? 4:00 am? Did they not learn anything from the death of Mitrice Richardson? Her parents must be dying inside, all over again.

Where on earth is our US tax dollars and money going? Who is making all these decisions on where US Grants should be given? We have Search And Rescue teams out drudging the mud, the weeds, and the woods to find someone's deceased loved one, voluntarily, AND paying to perform that task out of their own personal pocket book. While construction crews are volunteering their time to re-build homes so that wounded soldiers can have a place to live...out of their own pockets and time, following their regularly scheduled work days, of course. I've watched communities and very giving nonprofits be turned away from grants because a lot of the grants are being awarded in the most ridiculous means such as one federal grant program directed a million dollars from the public coffers to infuse zoos around the United States with snippets of poetry. Yes! Poetry. Yes, a million dollars! Apparently it was not fun or educational enough to go to the zoo and watch the animals and read about their culture, but so very important to have it converted to a poem? Not a million dollars to help fund the small animal shelters from city to city to better protect our dogs, cats and horses for example...but a better idea was to be sure poetry was visible at the zoo. Sorry. I do not get it.

Is there a problem? Yes. There sure is a problem. While nonprofits (and I'm not talking about the ones in which the CEOs make $200,000 a year from government grants which help to write their own salaries) I'm talking about all the little ones all over the country trying to help the homeless, help our Troops home from the service with injuries to build and remodel homes...trying to help find missing loved and vulnerable people, trying to educate those in underprivileged areas, trying to provide warm coats to homeless children here in the USA while having to beg for $5.00 donations of which is rarely received, except by a few wonderful caring citizens here and there, because most people would rather support the "big ones" that have high overhead, political connections and already receive million dollar grants. No, I do not get it. I do not get the "distribution system" not when, and shame on Portland, Oregon… where, by the way, have a very high homeless rate, more than probable the majority are adults who suffer the same as Matt Hoff, but somewhere the city determined that $900,000 was much more important to obtain stimulus funds on a new bike signage project. Albeit, the city already has similar bike signs, which it plans to leave up...however, the new signs—which include arrows, distance, and travel times to key destinations— have a slightly different design than their existing ones. Sigh. Imagine how many disabled high functioning adults could be provided rent assistance with that kind of money? Or how many elderly, who live on fixed incomes, could have had heat assistance? How many Matt Hoff's live in Portland? How many of their parents look at those bike signs and just want to cry?

Perhaps the government expects that we provide kudos to them in certain areas, such as helping the young woman fulfill her desire at only 28 years old, who became paraplegic due to a diving accident, to obtain permission by the government to allow herself to commit suicide, and the same government that allowed the feeding tube to be pulled from Terry Schiavo while she lay in bed and endured a starving death...of which it was proclaimed she would feel no pain. OF COURSE the government is going to grant such...it saves a tremendous amount of money from the government in supporting their expensive healthcare so in turn that money can be used to support the healthcare of illegal aliens. Makes sense...right? Allow two people to leave this earth that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to provide care...or should I say to "spread the wealth", in this case healthcare, to more people...say 4 illegal aliens. Do I have anything against aliens? No. Do I have anything against those here illegally? Yes. Somewhere in government, while they were removing the word "God" from everything, they forgot to review the definition of the word "illegal."

Heaven forbid (Am I allowed to say that?) one becomes noncontributory in this country...or has disabilities that makes them "less productive" than the politicians who think they have everything solved. You know, the ones who write all these "rules" and "laws" and apparently it never has dawned on them that their own children, or grandchildren could endure a tragic accident that could deem them disabled and walking the streets and thrown into jails without needed medications because they decided to steal something from the store in order to eat, or picked up by police for vagrancy as they needed to rest. All this while the government is working hard to provide free college educations to illegal immigrants while our own graduating seniors have to forego their dreams of a college education as it is completely unaffordable, even though their parents have paid all their taxes throughout their child's 12 years of education and contributed towards the schools in their cities.

While all this going on we have people pushing and shoving their way to the welfare lines that want to file and re-file for their "emergency funds" while wearing Nike Air Jordan's and texting on $600 cell phones and dragging their 3 time pregnant girlfriends, not wives...girlfriends...in tow...only to have a disabled homeless man be shooed away from the front door because he doesn't have a "permanent residence." I've seen this all personally with my own eyes as I waited in line with my autistic son who also has 5 seizure disorders, among other conditions, only to be told that "he graduated high school" so there are no programs to assist him with life living skills available. You need to wait until he is 21 years old. So for 4 years he went without special needs support, no services, and no assistance that both his father and I have paid into for years while I, his mother, funded, found and work voluntarily at my own nonprofit organization all while working a full time job and paying into our tax system. Yet, Mr.Texting-Boyfriend was handed an emergency voucher for food stamps and his application to have his home heating paid.

Somewhere this needs to stop. This country needs to step up and start holding accountable those who are using the system for their own personal gain. Or laziness. Start at the Whitehouse and work one's way across the entire USA from every corner. We need to take a moral and fiscal responsibility in this country to help those who cannot help themselves. I'm sure our forefathers never would have predicted this kind of system failures. I won't even begin to get into The National Institutes of Health which spent $55,000 to promote HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, even though no vaccine exists. Imagine that? There went the rental fee assistance, in southern Alabama, that could have housed 2, maybe 3, disabled high functioning young adults?

So here we have Matt Hoff, who by now I hope his name is in the household of every Californian and perhaps even in the USA, who by no choice of his own has suffered with extreme mental disorders since the age of 5 who turns 18 and is shuffled out of the system of care. Arrested for erratic behaviors and poor choices, not once, not twice but three times now only to be thrown into jail, again, and not given his needed anti-psychotic drugs. Does this make sense that the government would not want this young man to think like a "normal person" and not be way out in the land of paranoia and confusion? Are there legitimate reasons that the system in California will not allow him his medication? I would love to know that reason. Maybe I do. Maybe like the young paraplegic woman who received government blessings to commit legal suicide and like Terry Schiavo who was blessed with the government approval offered to her estranged spouse to yank her feeding tube, against her parents' wishes and clear compelling evidence by many that she would not want to die....maybe, just maybe, this is the reason California is not going to medicate Matt Hoff. Maybe they are hoping the next release at 4:00 am he will jump from the Golden Gate Bridge and they will have one less person to medicate, feed, house and find sufficient care....and that cost can help 2, maybe 3 pedophiles to receive a cute ranch home to live in instead. After all, there is only so much to give. Right?

PS. California, in case I've not conveyed my message clearly…perhaps Matt's mom can do better. Here she is: http://bcove.me/seq39ccr , video courtesy of Mark Eades with The Orange County Register.

Cynthia Caron
President/Founder
LostNMissing, Inc.
PH: 603.548.6548
www.lostnmissing.

Molly Ann Bish

By Dennis Griffin

A few minutes before 10 o'clock on the morning of June 27, 2000, Magi Bish dropped her daughter Molly off at the local swimming hole, Comins Pond, in the town of Warren, Mass. The 16-year-old Molly, a high school junior, had just started a summer job as a lifeguard there the week before.

The parking lot was empty, except for a dump truck dropping off a load of sand. Magi, watched her daughter walk toward the beach. She then waited for the dump truck to drive out before driving away. But when swimmers arrived twenty minutes later, the only traces of Molly were her water-bottle, sandals, a police radio and an opened first aid kit. Molly had vanished, and for Magi and her husband John, a nightmare like no other began.

The only lead the police had to work with was a man Magi remembered having seen when she dropped Molly off the previous day. He had been sitting alone in a white vehicle in the parking lot. Nervous over his presence, Magi waited around for about 20 minutes until the man drove off.

The ensuing search for Molly became the most extensive in Massachusetts history. Molly's story was told on America's Most Wanted, 48 Hours, Court TV, Unsolved Mysteries, Larry King, Nancy Grace and other national and local media outlets.

But in spite of everyone's best efforts, Molly's fate remained a mystery for three long years. And then in June 2003, the search for Molly came to a heartbreaking end when 26 of her bones were found scattered on the side of a mountain only five miles from her home. Molly was buried on her 20th Birthday.

Investigators believed Molly's killer was probably a local with intimate knowledge of the area. However, no arrests were made and the case went cold.

And then in January, 2009, a suspect surfaced, 60-year-old Rodney Stanger. He was a longtime resident of Southbridge, Mass., located just a few miles from Warren. Stanger had moved to Florida the year after Molly disappeared. Neighbors say he was an outdoorsman who was known to hunt and fish in the area around Comins Pond. And he had access to his brother's car, which was same type that Magi had seen the day before Molly disappeared. He also matched the composite sketch of the driver of that car.

Stanger was brought to the attention of the authorities when the Massachusetts State Police got a call from the sister of Stanger's live-in girlfriend, Crystal Morrison. The sister told police that Crystal had hinted to her that Stanger was involved in Molly's murder. On February 25, 2008, just days after the conversation between the sisters, Crystal was found stabbed to death in their mobile home. Rodney Stanger was charged with the murder.

On October 28, 2010, under a negotiated plea deal with prosecutors, the now 62-year-old Stanger was sentenced to serve 25 years in a Florida prison for second-degree murder of Crystal Morrison, and concurrent sentences for burglary of a dwelling and battery. The chances of Stanger ever breathing free air again are slim.

On the Molly Bish Foundation Website is this message from Molly's parents, Magi and John Bish:

"We will find... the person that harmed her. It's been a journey, a story of love and loss, but we are still hopeful and we want Molly to know we'll never give up."

If Rodney Stanger is in fact Molly's murderer, let's hope sufficient evidence can be developed to charge and convict him. The Bish family's journey needs to come to an end. And Molly is entitled to justice.



Note: Molly's case will be profiled on the Discovery ID Channel on January 17 and on Crime Wire on January 18.

The Dangers Of Using Date Of Birth on Missing Love One’s Posters

By Cynthia Caron

It is very stressful and difficult for a family when their loved one becomes missing. Many times the first thought is to get a poster made and start hanging in the neighborhood. This is a good thing, however, it is not a wise situation to place a missing loved one’s date of birth on a missing poster, internet banner or website. While this has been standard practice for many years, LostNMissing Inc. is trying to change that practice.

At LostNMissing, we never post publicly our missing loved one’s date of birth. We believe it is an easy target for someone to steal the identity of a missing person. At the same time, it can literally throw an investigation off in the wrong direction.

Let’s take for example when an adult becomes missing. For one, the police sometimes have the mentality that “adults have the right to go missing” and shouldJane Doe go missing from Colorado, and her identity becomes stolen and credit card purchases start happening in Ohio, it can waste valuable time on behalf of the police in having to prove if in fact that is Jane Doe. Worse, they may simply tell the family that “your daughter is alive and well and living in Ohio and because she is an adult and has the right to go missing we are going to close the case.” Can you imagine?

I do not understand the point in putting someone’s date of birth on the missing poster. Their age, yes. Absolutely. Should a loved one be missing for a couple of years, one could update the poster with Jane Doe, 22 at time of missing in 2008. Age 24 in 2010. That is all that is needed. I especially become very concerned when I see children who are missing and their posters contain their date of birth! They are the easiest targets of all due to their “clean credit history.” Let’s hope police agencies and other missing organizations take notice and consider the practice of not adding date of births.


Cynthia L. Caron
President/Founder
LostNMissing, Inc
Cell: 603-548-6548
Office: 603-965-4621
www.lostnmissing.com

Who is Shannon Gilbert and Megan Waterman?

By Cynthia Caron 

The media is sometimes so full of short words and the words they use to convey a message can be biting and hurtful.  I am referencing two beautiful young women who are both missing loved ones and being tagged as “prostitutes” and “hookers” by some members of the media.  First I would like to state that while both may have made bad choices, their personal errors in judgment should not be what the public bases their opinions regarding these young woman.  They are both loved, both have families who are living a nightmare and would give anything to know that their daughters are safe, and at home.  Their families depend on you, the readers and public, to help find their missing and loved family members.

Because of the recent findings of four unidentified bodies on Gilgo Beach, in Long Island, NY, the police and media instantly jumped to the thought processes that the four unidentified women were prostitutes.  Because this was in a location that Shannon, who advertised as an escort on Craigslist, was last seen in early May 2010 and it was determined that the possibility existed that she was among one of the four.  At the same time, Megan went missing only 20 minutes away in Hauppauge, NY, in early June 2010,  and she also advertised as an escort on Craigslist.  Therefore, it was now thrust into the media that both young women may have been victims and that all four may be prostitutes. 

The media reporting of “hookers and prostitutes” is unfair to the families, and more importantly to Shannon and Megan.  While neither made good choices with choosing escorting as a means to earn money, the negative image that most people have as “hookers and prostitutes” are those who are living on the streets, may or may not have family support, are usually addicted to drugs and are beaten regularly by pimps.  Neither Megan nor Shannon lived that kind of life.  (Those who do live that kind of life need all of the possible resources available to them in order to help them. They are usually so despondent for drug money they will go to any length and are extremely vulnerable and many times have emotional and psychological traumas.  Prostitutes living on the streets need help, not scorned.)

I would like to present another side of Shannon and Megan.

Megan loves her daughter dearly.  Watching alongside her little one, she treasured the times spent watching Dora the Explorer,  Cinderella and Snow White.  Shopping for her and throwing beautiful “princess parties” was something Megan loved doing for her daughter.  She always looks forward to a family barbeque and get-together. Did you know she also loved roller skating and looked towards the days that she could teach her young daughter to skate? Or that she always looked happily towards family birthdays and loves the color pink.  Megan loves her music, is witty and always playing practical jokes on those she loves.  She has a gentle spirit, is passionate and trusting.  She would give the shirt off her back to a total stranger if they needed it.  Megan has a soft place in her heart for anyone who lived with disabilities.  She formed special bonds with all members of her family including distant cousins.  Megan loves all and is loved by all who’ve had the honor to know her.

Did you know that Shannon loves to sing and writes good poetry? She is an excellent cook and loves to give people gifts. Shannon graduated high school at the age of 16 and enrolled in Kaplan University.  She loves animals and once rescued a cat from an animal shelter that nobody else wanted. She was the peacemaker among all her friends, loves to read, loves shopping and would give away anything she owned that she could not put to good use.  She loves performing, telling jokes and laughing. Her friends and family say that Shannon cares about everyone to whom she befriends. She is a true “people person.”  She is best known by her family and friends as one who cherishes the good, forgets the bad and always treats others with respect.  Perhaps some of those so quick to judge should have some of the same attributes that both Megan and Shannon share?

Cynthia L. Caron

President/Founder

LostNMissing, Inc

Cell:  603-548-6548

Office: 603-965-4621

www.lostnmissing.com

OPRAH, JANE VALEZ MITCHELL AND THE NANCY GRACE SHOW!

By Cyndi Caron

I’m going to be brutally honest here.  Families of missing loved ones have a better chance of winning their state lottery, or in receiving an all expense paid trip around the world, including flights and hotel stays, than they do of getting their missing family member on those shows. 


Why?  Because for one most of what is presented has been on schedule for weeks by the producers and writers as well as the already interruptions when breaking news happens such as the devastating Haiti earthquake.  Unless there is serious foul play involved, in which your local media is constantly portraying, and the surroundings of your missing loved one includes sensationalism, such as the spouse is a suspect who has been found to be committing adultery after your loved one goes missing and more so if children involved, along with your missing “Suzy” having a pristine background, it’s highly unlikely that her status will be aired. 
Unfortunately, it’s television.  The more scandal the better chance of your “story” being aired.


When is the last time you’ve seen a missing overweight runaway teen with acne, or a missing black male teenager portrayed on a nationally syndicated news or show?  Is physical beauty a necessary requirement to capture the attention of viewers?  Or as some African Americans will say “only white missing kids make it to those shows?” 


What about missing adults? Why aren’t they portrayed? Is it due to the wrong mentality that “adults have a right to go missing?”  Yes, nationally syndicated news agencies picked up on Ohio’s “missing mom” Tiffany Tehan, but that was only after it was realized she was spotted on video cameras weeks before with a mystery male. Yes, that story was indeed picked up due to the startling fact that missing mom was seemingly becoming a “runaway mom” leaving behind a church-going husband and her infant daughter. Personally, no adult has the right to go missing unless they are willing to notify their local police agency first. They have a right to leave, but to go missing? No.

So what are the criteria and how do families of missing get their loved ones on these shows?


Let’s start off with Nancy Grace’s show.  While at times her show can be quite interesting, it is nearly always about the same case over and again with “breaking news” that happened days or even weeks ago and already known from online readers.  While Nancy “gets to the matter” and nearly asks all the questions, that you the viewer want to know, her show is really not set up to portray multiple cases in an equal amount of airtime.  Shame because from those I’ve talked with would love to see each nightly episode featuring two new missing cases each eve with no carry over, unless real breaking news exists. This could then be announced in a brief comment prior to commercial interruptions.  Course, I’m neither an executive producer nor Nancy Grace’s producer so I will leave well enough said.  On a positive note, Nancy does have a great blog online that various cases and missing loved ones are portrayed.  There have been a time or two in which I’ve seen some of our LostNMissing loved ones’ banners posted and I welcome her staff to utilize any and as many as they like at any time.  Banners are not copyright and all we ask is that they are kept intact as designed when posted.


Jane’s show, which I find has a more variety of topics, along with entire teams of professionals who voice their opinions and present updated facts to a case, is also extremely difficult to reach as producers schedule either far in advance or very near or immediate to whatever has happened the day before.  It’s unfortunate as I feel her show is probably one of the most ideal to have a variety of missing loved ones portrayed.  I invite Jane’s show to go through our website and feel free to pick and choose as many missing loved one’s banners and flash on the screen before or after the show anytime.


Oh Oprah! I don’t know what to say other than its hard to explain to family members of missing loved ones that it is nearly impossible to reach Oprah or any of her producers.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  I think as a non runner I could win the Boston Marathon before I could achieve having a missing loved one portrayed on Oprah’s show.  It doesn’t matter that I personally beat Oprah, by one place, on the Ms. Twitterworld Contest.  I came in 16th and she in 17th place.  Even though she has over a million followers, to my 4300, you can bet I celebrated…a little anyhow. Did I really beat out Oprah on Twitter? I doubt it. For one, Oprah is so spread out far and wide with her many ventures that I really wonder if it’s Oprah tweeting anyhow.  It’s my guess that one of her hundreds of “assistants” represents her.  Or could it be that she was just “too kind” to tweet her followers to vote for her? Let the “little guy” win. Either way it doesn’t matter as it was merely a silly contest. 


What does matter is what are the true criteria that I can tell crying parents, in emotional turmoil, as to why nationally syndicated shows would rather use valuable airtime listing all the mistresses of Tiger Woods and Jessie James as opposed to listing even a handful of missing loved ones? Yes, even adults who are missing have distraught and grieving parents who beg for any airtime possible for their missing child.  Ask the parents of Jeramy Carl Burt, Brian Sullivan’s mom, or the family of missing Beverly Meadows.  They would give anything to have their loved ones portrayed.  Or the grandmother of 15 year old Peyton Borden, a young black male who bolted from an Illinois courthouse in the fall of 2009 after learning that he would have to go back and live with his father in Georgia, instead of residing with his maternal grandmother since his own mom was killed in a car accident when Peyton was only 8 years old, only to never be seen again!  Perhaps talking with the family of Thomas and Jimmy Zinza would be ideal.  Two brothers, both missing years apart.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Jimmy went missing in 1992 and could be living on the streets anywhere in the US and a nationally syndicated show could literally bring about recognition.  Thomas went missing, under strange circumstances from a hotel room in PA while traveling on business from Hawaii in 2008. Imagine the turmoil their family endures, it’s incomprehensible.


I will close this with a challenge.  Which nationally syndicated show will make contact with LostNMissing to offer to portray one of the many missing loved ones that we represent who has never received their much needed national airtime? Will it be Oprah? Nancy Grace? Or the Jane Valez Mitchell show? Stay tuned as I will update in my next report.  My phone line is open.


Cynthia L. Caron 
President/Founder 
LostNMissing, Inc.
PH: 603.548.6548
www.lostnmissing.com

Advances In Science Help Find The Missing

By Tad DiBiase


There are two clear trends I've seen in no body murder/missing persons cases over the past few years.  First is the shortened length of time between when a person goes missing and an arrest for that person's murder. 


The second is advances in forensic science that make no body cases easier to prosecute.  As a result, the past ten years have seen a huge increase in the number of no body murder cases where there are arrests and prosecutions.  Advances in technology are behind both trends.


 Years ago, if you told people your wife or girlfriend ran off with another man or ran off to Europe, it was difficult to verify this.  In the days before cell phones, credit cards and other electronic trails that we all leave behind nowadays, it was virtually impossible to disprove what a murderer might say about his victim. 


However, today is different.  Upon hearing that someone is missing, police (at least the good ones) immediately start checking cell phone and cell tower (which report the physical location of the cell phone) records.   Computer databases contain a wealth of data that police can access. Credit card records show where purchases were made.  Bank records that show if accounts were accessed.   Social security records that reveal whether the "missing person" got another job, made an unemployment claim, or tried to collect benefits from the government.  Airline records showing passenger manifests.  Virtually every person leaves some form of electronic trail, and most of us leave these trails every day.  


The British have such a sophisticated system of surveillance cameras in public places that it is virtually impossible to go about a normal day and avoid being surveilled (if that's a verb) multiple times a day.  Although the United States is not quite as camera friendly, we're getting there.  Therefore, it is very difficult for someone to just disappear and even harder for a murderer to argue that his victim went somewhere but left no trace.  


Many jurisidictions have seven year rules where a person must be missing for seven years before he or she is declared dead.  These laws are not only anachronistic given the modern communication age but are sometimes used by police as an excuse not to investigate a missing persons case as a homicide.  Luckily, over the past ten years,  the police's ability to more quickly determine that it's unlikely the victim just disappeared has meant that the police treat cases as homicides more quickly.  (I believe it is also true that changes in attitudes regarding domestic violence have caused police to be more suspicious when the missing victim was in an abusive relationship.)  We now see a lot more cases with arrests within months of the person going missing as opposed to years later.  


Second,  forensic advances over the past 20 years make it much easier to investigate, close and prosecute a no body case.  Because of its prevalence, we sometimes forget that DNA testing is a relatively new technology and its first use in court was less than 25 years ago.  Moreover, DNA advances now permit forensic scientists to test not only microscopically tiny pieces of evidence but old DNA and degraded DNA to an extent not possible even ten years ago.  


These scientific advances have led to the reopening of thousands of cold cases and missing persons cases from years ago.  Previously getting a tiny speck of blood from a crime scene years after the murder was not much help because even if it could somehow be tested, forensic science would only permit a conclusion as to the blood type of the person who spilled the blood.  With there only being four blood types, this information was hardly damning.  


Today, a speck of blood (or other body fluid) many years old can prove a suspect's identity to a reasonable scientific conclusion.  And it's not just DNA advances.  Searching fingerprints is easier and faster than 20 years ago and trace evidence (hair, fiber, etc.) has also advanced.  New sciences come online  every year that hold out the promise of improved crime solving, including controversial scientific techniques such as DNA tests that claim they can type race.  


As I tell families all the time, never give up hope because you never know when the next scientific advance might be the one that solves your case.

What happened to Sarah Rogers? Was Foul Play Involved?

By Cynthia Caron

Sarah Rogers, 29, a talented artist and musician left her home in Barrington, NH in a frantic state on a cold snowy morning on December 13, 2010. 

Sarah, a loving wife and devoted mother to her toddler son suffers from a bipolar-schizophrenic condition.  Sarah discontinued her medications three weeks prior to her disappearance as she felt they inhibited her painting abilities.  She not only has exceptional artist abilities but also is a talented musician.   Her paintings have sold in various areas of the country.  Sarah also possesses a musical talent, both as a guitar player, singer and writer.  A very talented young mother, she has sung in coffee shops and has written her own music.  Playing the guitar and singing to her young son was a common occurrence in her household.  Sarah has aspirations to obtain a degree in music.  Until Sarah returns, the home she shares with her husband and toddler son has become solemn and the music has stopped.  Her unfinished paintings sit by the wayside and her hung paintings are reminders of her love and passion and the terrible sadness of her missing from her home. Sarah’s young son, Elias, holds his toy car keys, along with her purse, on his arm and runs to the door throughout the day as if to indicate he is ready to go and search for his mommy himself.

Sarah did not leave her husband and child willingly or with purpose.  She ran from whatever fear, paranoia and emotional duress that her mind was going through during a frenzied state.  A state of mind that she had no control over.  On the morning of December 13th family members were visiting and along with Sarah’s husband tried to calm her.  Her husband phoned 911 and at that point Sarah feared being hospitalized and ran out  the door and drove off into the cold wintry weather wearing only a light jacket, tank top, shorts and dress shoes without socks.  She had no cell phone with her.

Nobody knows if Sarah made any stops during the day or where she was headed.  All that is known is that Sarah ended up a full 2 ½ hours away from her warm and comfortable NH home and was in Maine.  According to records, it appears Sarah was driving endlessly and without a sense of direction or plan.  Due to a video camera stationed on the turnpike toll areas,  it was found that Sarah drove through the Maine I95 turnpike in circles.  Going northbound on I95 for a long period of time and then going southbound.  She would then go back again through the northbound I95 lanes.  The cameras snapped photographs of her license plate and the times recorded as she went through the Fast Lane without an EZ Pass.  Sarah had a couple hundred dollars in her wallet and easily could have driven through the pay booths, however, her frame of mind was manic.  Sometime between 5:30 pm and 6:10 pm, while the snow was falling fast,  Sarah lost control of her vehicle and ran off the highway.  In the meantime, after reporting her missing to the police, her family waited anxiously and worriedly for her return.  Her father stood by his telephone in Florida hoping to receive the call that she was located and safe.  Her mother, and sister, numb with fear, waited the same.  Her toddler son played with his toys, unknown to the circumstances and confused by the worried looks of his father and grandmother.  Sarah did not return.

Sarah’s vehicle, a Scion, was discovered at 6:15 p.m. by a passing tow truck driver on Maine I95 North near the 140.5 mile marker shortly before Clinton, Maine.  Sarah was nowhere in sight.  Her vehicle was in gear, the engine running and the keys in the ignition.  30 feet from her vehicle was her backpack/purse with two wallets missing.  Did anyone happen upon Sarah or her vehicle?  Did someone flag Sarah down to help her? Did anyone see this young mother in summer attire fleeing from her vehicle in the snow? 

Maine State Troopers saw footprints which led from the vehicle across the median onto the southbound I95 highway and stopped.  Footprints were not made going into woods on either side.  By all indications Sarah obtained a ride from somebody driving south bound on I95.  Who gave Sarah a ride?    Did Sarah meet up with a dreadful unsavory person who may have harmed her?  Or was it a good Samaritan? If a good Samaritan helped Sarah, why haven’t they come forward?

Nearly 12 weeks have gone by with no sign of Sarah.  Her credit cards in her wallet have never been used.  Is Sarah wandering the streets in some unknown city with the homeless?  Has someone provided Sarah with shelter? Has she suffered memory loss or in a serious state of paranoia or even catatonic? Is she wandering the streets and  avoiding public contact due to her fears and delusions? Did she leave her wallets behind and a passerby happened upon her stalled vehicle and rummaged through her purse and took her wallets throwing her backpack/purse into the snow?  Or did Sarah herself grab her wallets and flung her back/pack purse into the snow? Who gave Sarah a ride? Where was she dropped off?  These are questions the family have asked over and again each day to themselves.  In the meantime, a child cries for his mother, a husband is tormented with fears, a mother and sister numb and on pins and needles and a father feeling helpless, worried and distressed. 

Can you help? Do you have information that can help the family towards their search for Sarah?

Who has information on what happened to Sarah Rogers? A reward of $5,000 has been established for information leading to locating Sarah and her safe return. Please see www.findsarahrogers.com for more detailed information and various photographs.  Anonymous tips can be submitted by calling (800) 422-0944, or the Maine State Police at (800) 452-4664.




UPDATE ON SARAH ROGERS 3/13/2010


http://www.wabi.tv/news/10606/body-of-missing-new-hampshire-woman-found-in-clinton

Body of Missing New Hampshire Woman found in Clinton

by Meghan Hayward · Mar 14th 2010 

The body of a missing New Hampshire woman was found Saturday afternoon in Clinton.

Maine State Police say the body of 29-year-old Sarah Rogers of Barrington, New Hampshire was found a short distance from where her abandoned car was found on I-95 in December.

Police say the body was found by nearby neighbors who were looking on their property for any signs of the missing woman.

The body was located off the southbound lane of the interstate, near the Mutton Lane overpass.

They say there were no signs of foul play, but the cause of death will await an autopsy scheduled for Monday.