Murder in Progress: Elizabeth New Jersey

[In the town of Elizabeth New Jersey, a murder is being planned, in progress, by a commissioned police officer as I write this post.]

The officer and his wife have been married for more than a dozen years. The couple has 2 children. Yesterday, she had her husband served with divorce papers after years of having a gun pulled and cocked to her head, numerous rapes, and terroristic tactics to keep her a victim and not call police for help. “I’ve had enough” she said. “My husband is not going to get away with it.”

This officer has not acted alone, receiving assistance from his fellow tin shield cowards in uniform as they assist this bozo with a badge. To add fuel to this already deadly flame, the officer’s brother is a high ranking Lieutenant, his supervisor in the same department.

Similar to Kathleen Savio , wife of former Bolingbrook Police Sgt. Drew Peterson,( who is awaiting trial for her murder) found dead on March 1, 2004, in a dry bathtub, Savio was also silenced with the assistance of fellow officers with the same pattern of conduct taking place in Elizabeth, New Jersey.

During the months leading up to the discovery of Kathleen's corpse, officers routinely sat in their squad cars in front of her house, drinking coffee -- the ultimate 'screw you' for thousands of police officers' wives whose cries for help fall on deaf ears. In March 2002, Drew Peterson and Kathleen Savio filed for divorce. On March 11, 2002, Kathleen secured a temporary emergency order of protection. In an unusual move before the divorce was finalized, Kathleen also signed a power of attorney so Drew could buy a home just down the street with his then-underage new love interest. Victims of violence always wish their aggressive, abusive partners would move on to someone else. Kathleen’s strategy was brilliant. She got out of her own way; however humiliating at the time, she disarmed Peterson by waiving her rights to the property as a marital asset. Kathleen knew firsthand the danger she faced from Drew, a police officer and abusive husband, if she refused to sign the document. She signed it only out of pure fear.

When all her attempts failed to get help from the police -- those whose job it is to serve and protect -- Kathleen Savio wrote letters to then-Will County Assistant State’s Attorney Elizabeth Fragale documenting Peterson’s alleged abuse. They included claims that in July 2002, Peterson held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. But Savio was only further victimized when the state attorney’s office dropped the ball. Prosecutors should have filed separate felony stalking charges for threatening phone calls from Peterson and for each time he stalked her. They didn't -- not even when the court issued the emergency order of protection against him.

Sending the letters was a courageous move not only by a victim but by a police officer's wife. These letters, written and signed by Kathleen, would not see the light of day until a parade of media swarmed down on the home at Pheasant Chase Drive until after news broke that Stacy Peterson, his fourth wife, had vanished

The Elizabeth, New Jersey's officers wife has also written letters to Attorney General Eric Holder; Newark Attorney General’s office; Office of the Director of the Elizabeth Police James Cosgrove; Chief of Police Ronald Simon; Union County prosecutor’s office; Sen. Frank Lautenberg; New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie; and the Mayor of Elizabeth. The letters were sent on September 22, 2010, detailing the times, dates and details of the horrific violence. The only person whom responded so far is the Mayor who contacted the officer’s wife earlier this week.

Here is a brief overview of it, in her own words, what she has experienced: a Police Officer from the Elizabeth Police Dept., in Elizabeth, NJ. I had my husband arrested 8/12/2010, and was granted a Temporary Restraining Order of Protection. Which was later dropped because the night before going to court; I was threatened by a private caller to drop all charges. I was intimated and scared and never showed up. The Temporary Restraining Order was dropped.

On 8/19/2010 incident of dropping TRO, this gave my husband the opportunity to harass me with phone calls, and threatening texts. I t would start out just being friendly to escalating to vivacious threats of harming me. I tried to ignore them, causing me emotional distress and fear. I fear him, because after many years of mental and physical abuse from him, I know this anger and rage....I know he is going to come after me or what’s most important in my life "My Daughters". This man suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, which I would have the dept. have him evaluated psychologically.

On September 20- 22, 2010, my husband decided it was a day to harass me with over 50 calls to my home and texting. I sent a email to his Internal Affairs office stating to please advice the officer to leave me alone... this was ignored by the Captain. Nothing was done, because he continued until September 28, 2010. I had to go to Ocean County Court and get another TRO. Which was granted, and he obeyed the TRO... I have a concern with his internal affairs dept. they are conducting a investigation, in which to me seems fictional. I understand that the code of blue is a brotherhood to protect each other. Well in these cases there should be protection for the victim not the Police Officer. We are not trained in the law or how to inflect bodily harm, nor do we carry guns and badges. We have no power or authority to manipulate the justice system.

I could continue but you get the idea. The Elizabeth New Jersey’s officer wife currently has a civil restrain order, which means nothing for her safety and life.

As she say’s “ It’s just a piece of paper, telling him to obey. But it gives me no protection from Police Dept. should he violate the civil order.” I And every physical abuse after my beating, he would throw the phone at me, and “ Go ahead bitch call the police” and laugh.

“I don’t want to be the next victim I want to be safe and alive for my daughters.”

I currently am in the possession of information and documents that I will not hesitate releasing, including names and badge numbers should another incident or threat to harm this officers wife from Elizabeth, New Jersey, take place from this point going forward.

I should mention before I receive correspondence from those angry officers who attempt to post anonomously or send me emails laced with threats, that I was the daughter of a decorated Chicago violent crimes detective. I am an expert in the area of officer related intimate violence and homicide. My career began in 1989 when my mother was murdered by my father.

Gentlemen, I have no problem coming to Elizabeth, New Jersey as I did recently in Garvin County, OKlahoma, with an army of media and others if the powers in place, fail to immediately stop this murder in progress.

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold. And she is the host of Time's Up on http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and she is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated show with Dr. Laurie Roth on http://www.therothshow.com/)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

OPRAH, JANE VALEZ MITCHELL AND THE NANCY GRACE SHOW!

By Cyndi Caron

I’m going to be brutally honest here.  Families of missing loved ones have a better chance of winning their state lottery, or in receiving an all expense paid trip around the world, including flights and hotel stays, than they do of getting their missing family member on those shows. 


Why?  Because for one most of what is presented has been on schedule for weeks by the producers and writers as well as the already interruptions when breaking news happens such as the devastating Haiti earthquake.  Unless there is serious foul play involved, in which your local media is constantly portraying, and the surroundings of your missing loved one includes sensationalism, such as the spouse is a suspect who has been found to be committing adultery after your loved one goes missing and more so if children involved, along with your missing “Suzy” having a pristine background, it’s highly unlikely that her status will be aired. 
Unfortunately, it’s television.  The more scandal the better chance of your “story” being aired.


When is the last time you’ve seen a missing overweight runaway teen with acne, or a missing black male teenager portrayed on a nationally syndicated news or show?  Is physical beauty a necessary requirement to capture the attention of viewers?  Or as some African Americans will say “only white missing kids make it to those shows?” 


What about missing adults? Why aren’t they portrayed? Is it due to the wrong mentality that “adults have a right to go missing?”  Yes, nationally syndicated news agencies picked up on Ohio’s “missing mom” Tiffany Tehan, but that was only after it was realized she was spotted on video cameras weeks before with a mystery male. Yes, that story was indeed picked up due to the startling fact that missing mom was seemingly becoming a “runaway mom” leaving behind a church-going husband and her infant daughter. Personally, no adult has the right to go missing unless they are willing to notify their local police agency first. They have a right to leave, but to go missing? No.

So what are the criteria and how do families of missing get their loved ones on these shows?


Let’s start off with Nancy Grace’s show.  While at times her show can be quite interesting, it is nearly always about the same case over and again with “breaking news” that happened days or even weeks ago and already known from online readers.  While Nancy “gets to the matter” and nearly asks all the questions, that you the viewer want to know, her show is really not set up to portray multiple cases in an equal amount of airtime.  Shame because from those I’ve talked with would love to see each nightly episode featuring two new missing cases each eve with no carry over, unless real breaking news exists. This could then be announced in a brief comment prior to commercial interruptions.  Course, I’m neither an executive producer nor Nancy Grace’s producer so I will leave well enough said.  On a positive note, Nancy does have a great blog online that various cases and missing loved ones are portrayed.  There have been a time or two in which I’ve seen some of our LostNMissing loved ones’ banners posted and I welcome her staff to utilize any and as many as they like at any time.  Banners are not copyright and all we ask is that they are kept intact as designed when posted.


Jane’s show, which I find has a more variety of topics, along with entire teams of professionals who voice their opinions and present updated facts to a case, is also extremely difficult to reach as producers schedule either far in advance or very near or immediate to whatever has happened the day before.  It’s unfortunate as I feel her show is probably one of the most ideal to have a variety of missing loved ones portrayed.  I invite Jane’s show to go through our website and feel free to pick and choose as many missing loved one’s banners and flash on the screen before or after the show anytime.


Oh Oprah! I don’t know what to say other than its hard to explain to family members of missing loved ones that it is nearly impossible to reach Oprah or any of her producers.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  I think as a non runner I could win the Boston Marathon before I could achieve having a missing loved one portrayed on Oprah’s show.  It doesn’t matter that I personally beat Oprah, by one place, on the Ms. Twitterworld Contest.  I came in 16th and she in 17th place.  Even though she has over a million followers, to my 4300, you can bet I celebrated…a little anyhow. Did I really beat out Oprah on Twitter? I doubt it. For one, Oprah is so spread out far and wide with her many ventures that I really wonder if it’s Oprah tweeting anyhow.  It’s my guess that one of her hundreds of “assistants” represents her.  Or could it be that she was just “too kind” to tweet her followers to vote for her? Let the “little guy” win. Either way it doesn’t matter as it was merely a silly contest. 


What does matter is what are the true criteria that I can tell crying parents, in emotional turmoil, as to why nationally syndicated shows would rather use valuable airtime listing all the mistresses of Tiger Woods and Jessie James as opposed to listing even a handful of missing loved ones? Yes, even adults who are missing have distraught and grieving parents who beg for any airtime possible for their missing child.  Ask the parents of Jeramy Carl Burt, Brian Sullivan’s mom, or the family of missing Beverly Meadows.  They would give anything to have their loved ones portrayed.  Or the grandmother of 15 year old Peyton Borden, a young black male who bolted from an Illinois courthouse in the fall of 2009 after learning that he would have to go back and live with his father in Georgia, instead of residing with his maternal grandmother since his own mom was killed in a car accident when Peyton was only 8 years old, only to never be seen again!  Perhaps talking with the family of Thomas and Jimmy Zinza would be ideal.  Two brothers, both missing years apart.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Jimmy went missing in 1992 and could be living on the streets anywhere in the US and a nationally syndicated show could literally bring about recognition.  Thomas went missing, under strange circumstances from a hotel room in PA while traveling on business from Hawaii in 2008. Imagine the turmoil their family endures, it’s incomprehensible.


I will close this with a challenge.  Which nationally syndicated show will make contact with LostNMissing to offer to portray one of the many missing loved ones that we represent who has never received their much needed national airtime? Will it be Oprah? Nancy Grace? Or the Jane Valez Mitchell show? Stay tuned as I will update in my next report.  My phone line is open.


Cynthia L. Caron 
President/Founder 
LostNMissing, Inc.
PH: 603.548.6548
www.lostnmissing.com

Time’s Up from an Unexpected Perspective

By Charles Moncrief

Billy called me just seven weeks after taking his wedding vows. “Glenda left me, and there’s a note on the kitchen table.” He read the note to me. Glenda claimed that she and her children could no longer take Billy’s abusive behavior. They left while he was at work, and they left with most if not all of their belongings.

The incident was twenty years ago. I remember it now, because Glenda followed some of the steps mentioned in Time’s Up, a recently published book by Susan Murphy Milano (ImaginePublicity, Surfside Beach, SC).
At the 50,000 ft level the book shows Susan’s heart for those in abusive domestic relationships, and it provides a resource for them to make a safe escape from those prisons. Glenda followed only a few of the principles in her midday departure from Billy, and doubtless she could have benefited from Susan’s book if it had been available. Things worked out for Glenda, but they don’t always. And in the two decades since then, it’s sad that such a resource as Time’s Up was not yet available. The pieces were there, but to me this is the first time they’re all in one place. I’m also encouraged by two additional facts. The first is that the book is in an on-demand issue state, which means that outdated links and contact information can be replaced without going through a whole new printing. And the second is that plans are being worked out to put the how-to information onto a compact memory device, such as a flash drive or whatever the technology evolves into, for abuse victims to carry with them.

I’ve read and heard glowing reviews of Susan’s book, so my purpose in writing this article is not to write another such review. Instead, allow me to refer back to my conversation with Billy. We have been friends for more than thirty years, and because of our relationship his phone call surprised me for no other reason than its having come after only seven weeks. The tie-in to Susan’s book is found in the first chapter, in which she profiles an abuser and gives characteristics of different types of abuse. While I’ve long been aware of these things in concept, Susan has put both flesh and substance on them. We’ve heard of divorces claiming mental cruelty, but thanks to Susan we’re now moving from the abstract to more specifics.

While the public perception of domestic abuse is generally “wife-beating,” Susan doesn’t let us off the hook; she gives names to various forms of abuse: emotional, physical, sexual, and financial. She also describes other tactics such as intimidation, isolation, and dangerous threats. But she doesn’t stop there, which gets to the heart of my purpose in writing this article. Let me take a sample from the first chapter. The number in parentheses following each type of abuse is the number of examples to describe it and to indicate the amount of thought that has gone into the preparation. There’s obviously overlap, and I’d expect the number and descriptions to change over time. I’ve included only one each, and not necessarily the best choice.

Emotional Abuse (9)

• They intentionally say things to embarrass you in front of others. They make remarks about your appearance or belittle you. They talk over you if you are engaged in conversation, or consistently contradict you in an effort to discredit you, or make you feel stupid.

Intimidation (6)

• They use “those looks” or the inflection in their voice to illicit fear.

Isolation (6)

• They attempt to limit outside activities such as visiting family, getting involved with your children’s school, community functions, or attending religious services.

Financial Abuse (7)

• They spend money on toys like motorcycles, stereo equipment, new cars, and clothes, while you are forced to ask for money from friends or family to buy a needed item, perhaps a birthday gift for your child, or money for food, because “you could not make it work.”

Physical Abuse (10+)

• Carrying out all types of threats against you

Sexual Abuse (17)

• Demands you perform when they tell you

Dangerous Threats (15)

• Tells you they will ruin and destroy you if you ever breathe a word to anyone

What I believe Susan never intended was that this book would also be useful to an abuser! No, not as a defensive resource, but as a reality check.

The pages that call out the types of abuse, and the profile of an abuser, are excellent reading for anyone in a domestic relationship. (For what follows, if you’re being abused in a domestic relationship, this does not apply to you.)
It would do each of us a lot of good to lay aside our preconceived notions and prejudices regarding the categories, and to interpret them in their broadest possible context. We can then use the lists as a mirror into our own souls.
For example, how often have I embarrassed my wife in a group setting? I think Henny Youngman made famous the expression “Take my wife. . . Please!” Maybe it’s not such great stand-up comedy anymore. In my own profession it’s almost legendary how many preachers illustrate their sermons with some anecdote about their wives. (We’re going through a process of learning NOT to do this.)

How many times have we feigned emotion, or given our wives “the silent treatment,” to impose our wills on them? (Notice I’m not going to say much about how women use tears as an intimidation tactic; this is more legend than fact -- I think.)

I do intend to present Susan’s book to colleagues in the ministry, and to my police and firefighter friends. Where appropriate, I intend to present the profile and abuse-type sections separately in marital and premarital counseling sessions.
To conclude, I want to say:
Thanks, Susan! Hopefully, you won’t consider this use of your book as too much of a surprise.

Grace and Peace,

Charles+