I grew up with the highs and lows of the 60’s and 70’s. One thing I am truly grateful for during that era is the amazing music and the artists of its times. Aretha “Rockin’, Rollin’” Franklin, Mick Jagger, The Temptations, and the amazing and talented Tina Turner. Only to name a few. But for this piece, I’d like to look more closely at one of Ms. Turner’s biggest hits, among many. “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”
As Ms. Turner’s life unfolded before us with the release of the biographical film by the same name in 1993, it became apparent why and how Turner could write the below lyrics:
In her chorus Tina sings:
“What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second-hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken”
In her verses she recites:
"You must understand how the touch of your hand, makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl, opposites attract
It's physical, only logical
You must try to ignore that it means more than that
It may seem to you that I’m acting confused, when you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed I've read it someplace, I've got cause to be
There's a name for it; there's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason you do it for me
I've been taking on a new direction, but I have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection, it scares me to feel this way”
Clearly in her lyrics, Ms. Turner is speaking about a physical attraction. And love, real love, is clearly denounced or, at least, not worth being sought. She speaks of opposites attracting and we clearly know today, via Quantum Physics, like attracts like.
This emotion she’s read about has led to broken-heartedness. And, if you know her story a few broken bones, as well. This may have been your experience. So, from this, let’s explore love from a different perspective, for just a few minutes, please.
Let’s look at love from a personal, purely selfish view point. That is looking at love within ourselves first, not narcissistically but from self-preservation. We will see that love, agape, is all beautiful, perfect, and divine. So now we must look at what is this agape?
Agape is an ancient Greek-Christian term referring to love. It is the highest form of love and charity. Agape is the love of God for man and of man for God. The word should not be confused with philia, brotherly love, as it embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance.
As a family-violence specialist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with many women in domestic/family violence situations. This is what brought Susan Murphy Milano, Delilah and I together. And, what have I found common in every situation? The absence of universal, unconditional love for oneself. I have uncovered guilt, shame, and even self-loathing.
I have had countless agencies; hence individuals, tell me a woman must cycle in and out of a shelter at least seven times or until she, her children, and/or extended family experience some drastic situation or behavior from the abuser. This is usually the threat of death to herself, children or family members.
I still stand on this truth. If one: male or female; heterosexual or homosexual; transgender; and of any ethnicity will accept they are made in the image and likeness of Almighty God; and can begin to experience the unconditional love of God for themselves, the violent and abusive cycle will cease. It must.
With this unconditional love and acceptance of self, several things begin to happen almost instantly.
- One’s self esteem and self-worth is magnified;
- The offender is no longer able to bully the victim because they, the victim, realize they are only a victim to their own limiting beliefs and mindset. The victim’s self-power is instantly increased.
- The energy level of the victim shifts, and they then only attract those in their like energy. Opposites do not attract. We attract exactly what we are. Thereby, individuals with low self-esteem will not be drawn to those with higher vibrational levels believing in a higher love. Resonating in love for themselves, first!
- When one takes on the consciousness of Christ and realizes there is no greater love, anything that attempts to approach not of the same consciousness, feels uncomfortable. They, or the situation, is rejected right away or soon following.
- meditation. (That is being silent and allowing God’s love to flow into you and through you. Bring both hands to your heart, as a suggestion of embracing, and feel the Source of love);
- keeping company with loved-filled individuals; (Learning to say no thank you, without explanation, to anyone who brings otherwise—in your own mind’s eye.);
- listening to uplifting and positive music; (Reject music that refers to you as anything less than your Divine self);
- abstaining from main-stream media;
- reading inspirational, faith and love-filled works to include Scripture and literature to raise your consciousness.
- repeating loved-filled affirmations or declarations. A good place to start is “I AM that I AM.” Interpreted as “I AM all that God is.”
- Find yourself a good adviser, support group, or assistant.
These are only a few things you can begin to do to raise yourself from the doldrums of victimhood. You may not find yourself walking into freedom or understanding any of the above overnight. But remain diligent; tenacious; and focused, desiring the life that Source; God; Mother Nature; (whatever name making you comfortable) has planned for you from the beginning of time. Their plan is to prosper you and to bring you hope. You will one day, very soon, begin to live your best life, as Ms. Winfrey would put it
What’s love got to do with it! Everything! All the time! And Everywhere! And it’s starting right here! Right now! With you!
Pamela Chapman is a certified life-wellness/life transition coach and family-violence specialist through the State of California. She is the owner of Yucatan Wellness Corporation and the previous owner of Iascend Programs, Inc which was dedicated, specifically, to helping abused women.
Today, Chapman works with others motivating, inspiring and teaching all who are willing to do the easy life work so they may walk into their well-being while transitioning through one of life’s challenges.
Pamela and team incorporate mind, body, and soul betterment using both ancient and cutting-edge healing techniques helping you to create your perfect self. To find out more visit: https://www.yucatanwellness.com.