Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Survivors of Crime Are Victims, Too
Monday, December 7, 2009
Who Really Cares About Missing Persons?
Everyone reads the headlines when a body is recovered or remains are found. Like rubber necks at an accident scene, we want to know what happened and why in all the grisly details. The media covers the scene, hovering around like bees to honey trying to get the inside scoop and be the first to report along with pictures and video. A body is brought forth, identified and justice is served. As if reality was that simple!
When it comes to missing persons, in most cases, headlines aren't screaming, the public gives a cursory look and then goes on to then next page. The news is covered with the young, blond white girls from good families and the talk shows are brimming with family members eager to be a part of something that may give their loved one the exposure needed to remind us not to forget. It looks like these missing persons are getting much deserved coverage, but what is reported is only the tip of the iceberg.
The general public has no clue of the scope of this global epidemic. According to figures from the FBI, there are almost a million missing persons reported each year. That number is growing year by year. How does this happen? How can that many people be unaccounted for? Yes, many are teen runaways, many are just looking to start a new life, but many more are never found until it's too late. Human trafficking and sex slavery is now coming into the forefront of the news as more and more young people and children are vanishing without a trace.
What's Going On In Chicago?
Recently the case of 12 year old Chicago girl, Jahmeshia Connor, who was found dead in an alley after being missing almost two weeks, has sparked a flame under Chicago media. After facts of the case were brought to light by online writers, it seems the media is reporting one missing person after another from the Chicago area. Is it a coincidence? If it had not been for the watchful eyes of Susan Murphy Milano, and organizations like Peas in Their Pods, LostNMissing, Inc., Peace4 the Missing, Please Help Missing Children and others, Jahmeshia Connor and those that have followed may have been relegated to nothing but a report filed by the family.
Who has been searching for these girls? Some of them have been missing quite some time, longer than would be expected, and some families did not file missing persons reports immediately, some probably following the advice of a police officer that told them to wait and see. THERE IS NO WAIT AND SEE WHEN A PERSON IS MISSING! The public's misconception is there is a mandatory waiting period, that is false. All police departments are to take a missing persons report on the spot, with the facts stated by those who know the person and the circumstances of their disappearance best. Time is always of the essence.
Myths and Legends
There is also a definite misconception in the way most parents view the nation wide Amber Alert. Most think that if their child is missing all they do is dial 911 and it's issued. That's another myth. There are strict guidelines that must be followed and criteria that must be met before an Amber Alert is issued. Many children do not qualify. Many missing children fall through the cracks of the system and families are disappointed, rightly so. This gap in the system has forced organizations like Peas In Their Pods to generate the "Rilya Alert" when a child is missing. Regardless of age, sex, ethnicity, or circumstances, as long as a police report has been filed, a Rilya Alert will go out, indicating to a growing network to get the word out and find this child!
Cases of missing adults present an even more complicated set of predicaments. The circumstances of an adult going missing varies more than child abductions or teen runaways. An adult has the right to leave a family and start a new life, as unfair as this sounds, there is nothing a spouse or children can do about it according to the laws of the day. This makes filing a report and expecting an investigation by authorities redundant. In most cases a family member has to take on the task of investigating and tracking down their missing adult.
Yes, They Care
So who really cares about missing persons? Fortunately for family members there are organizations like CUE Center for Missing Persons, Project Jason, 411 Gina, Track Missing, Texas Equusearch and others who devote time and resources to step in and search. Searching for a missing person is only one facet of the tasks these organizations perform. They work closely with the law enforcement agents in charge, they organize posters and awareness campaigns, they comfort and support the families, often at their own expense. They train search and recovery teams, both human and animals, to perform the job of bringing a loved one back to the family that cares for them.
Even if we don't have a missing loved one, how long does it take to stop, take a harder look at a poster hanging in a store or on a telephone pole? Everyone can do a small part in aiding these families by paying attention, look at a situation that isn't right, and do something to correct it.
Laws are being presented to Congress that will insure that missing persons cases will be handled in a more uniform manner. By supporting the passage of The Help Find The Missing Act (HR3695 Billy's Law) we are showing our support for the families of missing loved ones. We are also giving a name to the thousands of unidentified remains that are housed all over the country and reconnecting them with their families.
When a person goes missing there are so many victims. A whole family, a whole community and a whole country are subjected to the fears, anxieties, and worries about a person who is gone. Who really cares about a missing person? Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, and many, many strangers who step up daily to help and support.
CUE Center's website says it best: "Every missing person is somebody's child."
Friday, December 4, 2009
Maliciously Creating Havoc
Thursday, December 3, 2009
CHRISTMAS TIME = LOTS 'O CRIME

- Avoid carrying cash when shopping. Use a credit or debit card instead. There are people who have mastered the art of pick pocketing. Once your cash is stolen, it’s gone for good. At least with a credit or debit card, you have recourse. If you must carry cash, do not store it in your purse or back pocket. Keep it in your front pocket.
- When shopping, never leave your purse open or unattended, even for one second. It takes less than a second to be robbed.
- Always know where your nearest exit is. Remember the 2007 mall shooting in Omaha that left nine dead? The odds of this occurring are rare, but wouldn’t you rather be safer than sorry?
- Never use your remote keyless entry to locate your car. A perpetrator’s playground is a parking lot. You don’t want them knowing where your car is, or which direction you are headed.
- Keep everything in your car out of sight. Remove your Ipod, cell phone, CDs, etc., from plain view. Always put your purchases and any other valuables in your trunk.
- Once you are in your vehicle, immediately lock your doors. Do not linger around talking on your phone, text messaging, or rummaging through your purse and belongings. Your distraction becomes their moment of opportunity.
- Use only well lit parking lots and if possible, refrain from using parking garages.
- Avoid wearing showy jewelry or any other similar items of value.
- Shop with a friend. A criminal is less likely to target you if you are not alone. There is truth to the old saying, "safety in numbers".
- BOTTOM LINE: PAY ATTENTION! We are all multi-tasking and distracted this time of year. It's easy to get caught up and forget to listen and watch what is going on around us. Defense is the best offense to crime.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Chronic Personality Problems in Problem Relationships
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Gender Issue of Abuse
Sin drives abuse. Greed, lust, and desire for more power motivate abusers.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Self-Worth; Fight For It, Damn It!

Why do so many women feel that they are not worthy? How did they lose their self-worth? Is it because of the way the world has portrayed a perfect women "today"? Is it because someone took it from them? Is that the void some fill by over eating? Did their partner breach a trust? Did their partner demean them with insults about how they look? Did their partner admire other women? Did they grow up being ridiculed by a family member? Have they been suffering from a controlling illness? Were they bullied and criticized through their school years? Were they sexually abused as a child? Were they laughed at in a moment of vulnerability? Were they ever raped or abused?
"Self-worth" is a word that is so much easier to say and spell than it is to feel.
All of the above experiences mentioned and so many more play a major part of pouring a woman's self-worth right down the toilet. The people causing these kind of negative actions are totally responsible for destroying and tearing down a woman's worth. To destroy or tear down a woman's self-worth is one of the cruelest ways to treat a human being. It is a no win situation for that woman. She cannot fight back. She is attacked blindfolded. Humiliation has succeeded - the battle is won. Anyone can win against innocence. When the battle turns around is when the true win begins. A true win is when a woman who has lost her self-worth stands up and takes the control back.
You are not responsible for falling or losing the battle. But YOU ARE TOTALLY responsible for getting back up. It is you that has to pull it together. You need to go back as far as you can in your mind that puts a smile on your face, remembering those "warm and fuzzy", happy times. If you can't then think of someone that you know that is hurting more deeply than yourself and use that as your motivation. Allow yourself to go there in your mind. Use these thoughts to give you reason to get up. Your self-worth IS worth fighting for.
Yes, perhaps you have been hurt, disappointed and raped of one of your most sacred emotions, SELF-WORTH. NOW YOU WANT IT BACK, SO TAKE IT BACK! It is right inside of you. You just have to bury the memories and pain under all of your dirty laundry. You can continue to feel empty, use drugs, alcohol or even food to fill that void inside of you. You can miss out on life because you are forgetting to fight and it is so much easier to have a pity party.
You can worry about if you try to gain back your self-worth that you will fail and feel even more lonely. You may fail the first try, second or even the third. You feel that it's all hopeless. If you give into that feeling, then you are truly letting yourself down as well as others that love and care for you. YOU have now become responsible for losing your chance at regaining YOUR self-worth. You are allowing whatever it was that tore you apart in the first place to take control of all of you and your soul. You are allowing a memory to defeat you. There is no person there, just a thought. Why are you doing this? You know that you can stop it. You know how!
The strength of negative thinking is overwhelming and controlling in itself. I have felt it's power many, many times. Honestly, to the point that I could hardly feel myself breath. That was when I knew that I, and only I could stop it and take back the control of MY DESTINY.
For those that have been through a battle and are struggling or may have struggled to just get up on an elbow, feeling empty inside and so alone that you wonder why you even got up today............YOU CAN AND WILL BEAT THIS!
GAINING BACK YOUR SELF-WORTH
You must look inside of yourself and dig for the real you. Don't dig for the you has been scarred, wounded or hurt but the you that can smile, laugh and appreciate all of the good things in life. If you will just open your positive side and allow the great things to reach you the feeling will truly be uplifting. The more positive thoughts that you fill yourself with, the less negative thoughts can't nor won't survive.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off; you must move onto HABITS - positive habits of thinking. You must also be honest with your bad habits, what they are and where they are taking you. Identify them and how they are bringing you down, instead of up. The bad habits you have allowed to run your life. Now, as you have invited them in, you will un-invite them.
You must reconstruct your thought patterns to think WIN, not to lose. Immediately remove the words, "give up" from your vocabulary and replace them with "NEVER GIVE UP!" You must make a new commitment to yourself, the only one that you can reach out and touch!
You will always be stronger than your greatest weaknesses. Those weaknesses will never win again against your strengths..........NEVER!
To strengthen the mental you, you must strengthen the physical you. I am not referring to becoming a body builder or a full bore athlete. I simply mean a healthier you, A YOU THAT YOU WANT TO BE!
You must always remember, whatever it was that brought you down in yourself is in the past. If you continue to allow the pain to live inside of you, you will suffer. The past is over and there is no suffering on your part that will erase it. Get on with life. Reach deep inside of yourself and bring back the who YOU are.

Bring back the person YOU can smile in the mirror at.
Bring back the person YOU talk to all of the time.
Bring back the person that YOU were meant to be.
Bring back YOU, and then.......YOU WILL HAVE YOUR SELF-WORTH BACK - FIGHT FOR IT, DAMN IT!
"You can't conquer what you can't confront."
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Friday, November 27, 2009
"The Elephant in the Room"

HOW TO SUPPORT A SURVIVOR OF CRIME
Ask them to talk about what happend to them. Listen and support what they are sharing with you. Do not offer opinions, judgements or advice about what you hear and read about in other cases or the news. Encourage the person to describe what they: Saw . . Heard . . . Thought . . . Smelled . . . Felt . . .
Understand that people communicate in other ways than with their words. Try to understand and take cues from your loved one's expressions and body language. Maybe they are nervous and figiting with their hands embarrassed by the crime. or afraid you will judge them merely because they are disclosing something they feel is embarassing. Take your hands and hold theirs as they speak to you.
Encourage them to set priorities and problem-solve with input from family and close friends.
Allow time to heal. Don’t tell them to "get over it." Remember that every day they may be re-experiencing the event through dreams, memories, emotions or injuries that take time to heal.
Think of healing as a group issue, not an individual one. As a caring person, you are impacted too. Take time for yourself, be gentle with yourself and with others.
Facilitate support from your church, family members and friends.

After some time has passed, review what has happened. Concentrate on how each person has changed or grown.
Crime Survivors often lack an appetite. And they will not eat, especially if they are isolated or left alone for long periods of time. Make their favorite meal and eat with them.
Plan outside activities, even if it is a walk around the block. Fresh air and excercise are very important.
Create a garden of items that they might enjoy that you could create on a window sill. It does not always have to be in a yard. Consider asking the church for volunteers to help with things from their garden that a person might enjoy.Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Thanksgiving Tradition
Blog Archive
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2009
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November
(21)
- Self-Worth; Fight For It, Damn It!
- "The Elephant in the Room"
- HAPPY THANKSGIVING
- The Thanksgiving Tradition
- Innocence Lost
- A Day of Thanksgiving: Oh My Soul I Still Give Tha...
- "The House on Gilmore Street"
- At the Bleeding Edge of Victim Rights
- Soul Pieces: Intuitive Life Coaching
- The Empowerment Of Understanding Fear - Don't Allo...
- A Terrible Case of GOOD vs. EVIL
- WILL THE TRAGEDY IN FORT HOOD FINALLY SEND A S.O.S...
- 1st Amendment at its best!- -Leave Northwestern Un...
- "Thank My Lucky Scars"
- How an Abuser Tricks You with Apologies
- Operation Mag: Trafficking in Adolescents
- What's the Problem With Problem Partners?
- Regrets, Remorse and Redirection— Now Is Your Time...
- RN’s: Victims or Bad Asses
- Forgiveness: You Can’t Live Without It
- Knowing What To Say
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October
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- "Running on Empty"
- “Follow Your Passion-----------Crime of Passion”
- Make A Statement - Fight For A Cure
- "Trust Me, I AM YOUR INTUITION"
- Breaking Through: Why is there still resistance to...
- HALLOWEEN IS SCARIER THAN EVER
- From Bondage to Freedom
- Overcoming Fear
- Trust In Your Journey
- Families of Missing Persons Need Your Help Now
- We Didn't Start The Fire!
- You are the Fulfillment of Vision
- There Is No Freedom Without The Truth
- Tyler Perry's Story
- Society in Motion: How Victim Rights Are Becoming ...
- What Is Personal Safety and Why Do "I" Need It?
- Listen To Your Own Inner Perceptions, Please!
- Consensual Car Jacking?
- Mothers and Daughters of Abuse
- The Evacuation of Hope
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