The Silent Conspirator – When Subtle, Negative Thoughts Subconsciously Sabotage Your World.

Photo by alchemist’s daughter


By Pamela Chapman

Have you asked over and over again, “Why is it that I have done all the work and prepared everything in excellence (presentations, web sites, business cards), made contacts, taken marketing and sales courses, etc, etc., but nothing seems to be happening? Come on. Honestly. Is that dream, that desire you want so very badly delayed to the point you want to give it up?

It happens to many of us. We pray, mediate, create a vision board every three to six months but nothing manifests—nothing but what appears to be more bad news. There can be a few reasons for this. I’m going to mention a few but I want to give an in-depth explanation to only one today.

The Law of Substitution – You desire something to happen but that something is not yours. For example, you’re in a relationship and he or she doesn’t seem interested in taking the relationship to the next level. You’ve been dating a while, have a great time together but that’s as far as it goes. You will even ask someone to pray, agree, or set intention with you to no avail. Reason: He or she is not for you. The delay is allowing you to find the strength and the courage to break the relationship, in love and light, allowing the real love of your life to come in.

A Universal Demand Has Been Made – You desire something, it is in your purpose and destiny. You understand and realize this important fact and do all the internal and inspirational work to assist you in getting where you desire. You, therefore, stand in this position possibly asking someone to agree, declare, and set intention with you. Shortly afterward, it appears as if all hell is breaking loose. In actuality, everything is on target, on course and taking you right where you are supposed to be. You just have to persist through the appearance of hell.

And then we have what I call the The Silent Conspirator. You talk about it, you laugh with it at parties; you share it with your best friend. After a while, the Silent Conspirator takes up residence in the deepest depths. It takes on its own personality becoming your best friend, and with time, it becomes the plotter and schemer who hides behind the darkest, secret veil of your mind.

Let me ask you this. Have you ever said things like, “I don’t care if it kills me I’m not going to (fill in the blank)?” What about, “I love him/her/them to death.” Here’s one I bet you’re familiar with, “It, he, she or they make me sick!”

After a while, these little not-so-innocent clichés, repeated like prayer, become laws written upon the stones of your heart and mind. You might be thinking, “Well, I don’t say that kind of stuff often; or even, “I only think that stuff but I’d never, ever say them aloud.” I have news for you, it doesn’t matter. The very fact that you are familiar with these phrases probably means you have said them. And, if you have said them with any real emotion, you have given the statements the power needed to set them into motion.

I’ll share my Silent Conspirator. I was a corporate girl for many, many years—for too many years. I was of the generation it didn’t matter what the girl had her degree in, you were going to work as a teacher, a secretary or a nurse. My degree was in programming. After graduating, I proudly marched into the Human Resources office of a major computer technology company, no longer heard of these days. I filled out my application and they asked when I would like to schedule my typing test. I gave them a date without hesitation. I had myself and, more importantly, a small child to feed. I worked hard, in excellence and showed up every day until I landed a position at the top.

With that topness, a made-up word of course, I came to realize with the position came a new perspective. I became disillusioned, disappointed and disgruntled. My deepest desire was to get out. I quickly pursued a position with a Christian nonprofit only to find it was the same. The only difference was they did what they did in the name of Christ. So, I drew up the resignation letter once again. I was out.

I knew at that time, the only way I was going to be paid what I was really worth; be somewhat happy with working long and hard; and doing it the right way, I was going to have to start my own business. So, I struck out doing everything by the book. I took classes, I made contacts. Business cards, website and presentations were excellent. At first it worked, but soon everything and I mean everything began to dry up.

I reorganized, re-planned, and reinvented. I had S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) goals, a great business plan, and a strong marketing plan. I had one of the best business coaches, attended some of the best business conferences with the best financial gurus in the nation. I even had strong support. I couldn’t understand what had gone awry.

That was until one day when I threw up my wearied two hands and said, “I give up! I let go!” Now, how many times had I said that in the past and then picked up every single piece all over again. But, this time I had to truly let go. I had attempted to force, control, and hold on so tightly that every single resource was fighting back and drying up. At that point in time, I had a choice—freak out or trust.

I chose to trust.  And with that, the first thing I had to do was go inward and learn to love and trust me all over again. I had to realize that the power was inward and not outward and no one else’s responsibility but mine. I had to learn that I was at the end of the road and there was no other teacher but the teacher in me. I let go and promised that I was going to live the ultimate purpose— ENJOY life. 

Two weeks later, I awakened with an epiphany. That’s right I had a shift in my sleep. Once I announced to the Universe, whom I call God, that I was letting go and re-learned how to trust myself and the God in me, it was only a few days, with ease, that I Awakened. What was causing my delay, my stuckness was brought right into the forefront of my consciousness. No more little “demon” hiding, lurking, or sabotaging.

Here is exactly what I realized in that Awakening moment. I had spoken these destructive words far too many times. “I will never go back to corporate. I don’t care if I lose everything, I’m never going back. I’ll live on the streets before I do.”

Not only had I thought or spoken those words but I had spoken them with such conviction and emotion I had co-created law and destiny for my life. It didn’t matter what I did—I had become. So after my epiphany, I immediately asked the Divine within what affirmation could I create to repent—to turn around, to help eradicate what I had set in motion with fury.

Instantly, I heard in my heart that which would reverse my calamitous fate. “I keep all that I have and I receive all that I desire while my business blossoms, blooms and thrives.” I made a commitment to speak out loud, declaring my divine intention, at least, three times a day for one month. Shortly afterward, the Universe sent me a powerful teacher to remind me that God is a God of peace. Yes, He is many things but at the moment I needed the “I AM” of peace.

Going forward, I made the strong intention of not being rocked and rolled by what I saw or what I heard. My eyes were on the prize and I was pressing toward the goal. Did that mean creating longer To-Do lists, working longer hours or brain storming with my great support system? Not at all! It meant reaching out to others: encouraging, motivating; it meant being happy for and with them while creating powerful intentions on their behalf, as well as mine. And, when my heart heard write, I wrote. When it heard call, I called. And, when I heard sit in silence and take in the awesome beauty surrounding me in the Heavenly Rockies, I did just that—I sat in awe and listened.

From that moment on, I realized I didn’t have to make anything happen. All I had to do was BE and receive what Divine had already created for me. Once the Silent Conspirator had been snuffed out and exposed, I knew without a doubt— firmly and on a solid foundation that I had come to the end of life as I had known. The old chapter of life was closing. I was embarking upon the new. A life filled with the unfolding of every dream come true and where the desires of my heart were no longer a craving or a wish but a fulfilled reality that was orchestrated and designed before time.

Increase Abundant Living Using Affirmations

By Pamela Chapman

“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never harm you.” LIE—A GREAT LIE. Words kill and words give life. Come along with me and tell me which of the words below are empowering, increase your self-esteem, and make you feel like the Divine being you were created to be: intelligent, kind, stupid, resilient, healthy, confident, wealthy, idiot, resourceful, creative, good-for-nothing, fool, expressive.

The words that increase your self-esteem are obvious, yes? But, how many of us have experienced the words of death—the words that keep us from excelling, have produced low self-esteem, fear and doubt?

We are now beginning to understand the power of the spoken word. Words are like a magic wand. They can be filled with beauty, joy, peace, and life or they can be filled with hatred, disdain, pain and destruction. They will motivate, encourage, and assist us in reaching our potential and our dreams—give birth. Or, they will de-motivate, discourage, stifle and hinder our dreams—produce death.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, reflect back over your childhood. You can probably think of several damaging and hurtful statements directed at you by a parent, sibling or even a teacher. Statements like:

• You’re nothing and you’re never going to be nothing,
• You’re no good just like your (fill in the blank),
• Shut up and be quiet,
• You’re too ugly, too fat, or too stupid.

There are far too many of us who are all too familiar with the above, painful statements.

Many of us have not realized that our words were a form of dynamite and should be handled carefully with wisdom and understanding. We have hurled words of anger, resentment or self-pity into the atmosphere and then wondered why life was so difficult.

In Scripture it is said, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Now, there are three compartments of the mind: the subconscious, conscious and super-conscious. The subconscious mind is not immediately available to the consciousness. It is raw energy without control. It is the Niagara Falls of our mind. Fear, worry, anxiety, inferiority, low self-esteem, or positive emotions and thoughts are ceaseless, never sleeping, always at work.

It has been determined that more than 90% of our decisions are made from a subconscious level. The subconscious mind is created from our experiences, people’s and our own words. Old subconscious thought patterns, created out of experience of action or words, must be radicalized, if negative. How do we know that our subconscious mind is filled with negativity? Look around. You create exactly what you think known as the Law of Attraction. Affirmations assist in impressing and imprinting upon the subconscious.

The conscious mind perceives, apprehends, or notices with a degree of controlled thought and observation. From consciousness is where we observe and experience life for what it is whether it be sickness, disease, death, good health, wealth, and perfect self expression. It is your world, the creation of thought and word.

Most individuals have heard of and are quite comfortable with the two compartments mentioned. However, there is one other. It is the elevated mind, the mind of supreme intelligence which is within each man. It is the realm of perfect ideas, the perfect pattern, and the Divine Design: It is called the super-conscious or the God-conscious.

The super-conscious usually comes into your mind as an ideal that is too big to obtain, the “too good to be true” idea. Supreme Intelligence lives within each and every one of us and we are the channels for its expression. These are often finished and prefect ideas that must come through you and not to you; those defining moments that are often experienced the first thing in the morning when waking from your sleep state. In order to experience the super-conscious or God-conscious: perfect self-expression; healthy self-esteem; health; wealth; and abundance, continually, you must learn to impress the sub-conscious overcoming any and all obstacles that have been set. Affirmations are an excellent means to an end.

Here are a few powerful affirmations to get you out of the starting gate:

• I put the past behind me. I release it and live for today, in today. I live in the now. 
• I AM healthy, wealthy, and wise. I am on the road to happy success. 
• I AM wide awake to my good. I will not be troubled and fearful. 
• I reject every negative word I have spoken of myself, every negative word spoken toward me, and every negative thought I have of myself. 
• I AM fearfully and awesomely made; whole, and without blemish. 
• I have riches, life, joy, and peace in abundance. No one can take them from me. 
• I let go of worn-out conditions and worn out things. Divine order is established in my mind, body, and my affairs. 
• I AM the mirror of perfection, goodness, faith, hope and love. 

Here is an important note. Affirmations cannot be practiced once or twice and affect the subconscious. They must be practiced daily, ideally, two to three times a day. It is proven that if this practice is repeated sixty or ninety times, not only will you have a good habit but, the subconscious will be transformed and then the conscious mind will begin to experience and see all of its new beliefs opening the door to the amazing God-conscious with ease.

I strongly suggest that you create your own powerful, life-changing affirmations to find and build your life of abundance. Use the above statements as a jumping board. Speak the statements out loud with power and conviction, turning your affirmations into declarations, and see amazing miracles manifest into your Divine life even more quickly, easily, and powerfully.

Pamela Chapman is the Founder of iAscend Programs.

To learn more about Pamela, her work and her books, please visit her website:  http://pamelachapman.biz

How to Choose Extreme Abundant Living in the Midst of Life’s Confusion—

By Pamela Chapman

As I sat listening to the news and its prediction for new oil pricing due to the current events in the Middle East, a popular song from the past popped into my mind. In fact, this song was quite popular during the turbulent sixties. It was sung by the very popular Temptations, "Ball of Confusion." It was the third or fourth time it had come to me in the past few weeks; so, I turned to my information glut, the Internet, and searched for its lyrics.

It didn't take long to realize why this experience of song had shown up. This popular group sang about racism, hate, revenge, politicians making impossible promises, demonstrations, unemployment, and fear.

I had, personally, stopped watching the news. In fact, I had written to my audience to stop watching the news because of its negativity. However, I realized I was quickly becoming uniformed and ill informed. I made the choice to not only get my news from the television networks, but I made the choice to also read, collect information and then come to my own conclusions.

So, how was I to experience abundant living in the middle of it all-in a world gone completely, absolutely mad? If we add child molestation and pornography, human trafficking, drug-gang wars, intimate-partner abuse, murder, and rape the only possible conclusion one can come to is it is totally impossible, right? Wrong. Absolutely wrong!

To live an abundant life is a choice. I choose to believe that there is a greater power, a higher resonance and vibration that lives in each and every one of us. I believe not only can we demand the greater good in ourselves, but we can command the good in each and every person to shine forth. We can choose love and light; and, in choosing we not only give out love and light, but we push love and light into the darkest and remotest corners of the Universe: to hearts, minds, and souls. In turn, we must be available to receive love and light that is sent out and gifted by others. Thereby, a circle or a cycle is created: a ball of light, vibration, contentment, confidence and creativity.

Perfect love casts out all fear, all confusion, all doubt and anxieties. It covers all faults, short comings and offenses. Understand, living from love does not mean you accept the atrocities of this world, never say no, or cease standing up for what is right and what is justice. Living from love or becoming love is seeking out justice, truth, being a voice for the voiceless, healing the broken hearted, and bringing encouragement and hope to the down trodden. It is making all wrongs right from a place of high vibration and energy not fear, hate, or revenge. It is living from a place of faith, hope and love for yourself and others.

What happens when we choose to act out of fear? We get more fear. When we choose to move from hate, we get more hate. When we choose to act out of revenge we get vengeance from others. Choose to flow from love, and we get? You've got it. It's called the Law of Reciprocity. Life reciprocates exactly what you put out.

I recently found myself in a situation where if I had known the outcome, I would have chosen another path. My coach, who is excellent at delivering me from my self-pity asked, "What would Jesus do?" I snidely remarked, "I don't know," annoyed by the question. Afterward, however, I gave the question a long thought. The answer was simple, He would choose love.

While I am not by any means attempting to convert, I am highly suggesting that in the midst of all the "ball of confusion" in your life and in your world, it is possible to experience abundant living. It is possible to have peace that passes all understanding and absolutely ridiculous joy, gratitude, self-love, wealth, health, and perfect self-expression.

At times, life comes at us cold and hard. Many times life doesn't seem fair. Often times it seems like awful tragedies and atrocities happen to really good people. I am a woman acquainted with suffering and grief. But, I will also tell you this, those experiences made me stronger. They aided in expanding me and making me who and what I am today. And on the road back to me, on the recovery trail, I passed hate, bitterness, anger, fear, low self-esteem and guilt. But, I eventually found the God in me-love.

I had to come to the place of choosing to let go; I had to choose to love and choose to forgive. Yes, I had to choose to love the very people who had turned my world upside down. At times, I fought hard and long. I even fought with God. Who was He to tell me to love my enemies? What did He know? Yes, I went there.

I know it doesn't seem possible or easy. But it is and can be. Go within your heart. Hear the "voice" within. Stand still and know. That standing still doesn't mean doing nothing. It does mean, however, being firm in your beliefs and convictions and not allowing emotion to sway or overtake you. You are the essence of all Creation, all Love, and all Light.

You may choose to believe the world is at its end; or, you may choose to believe the ball of confusion will bring us to an explosion of light, a new consciousness, a new beginning. You may choose to believe you're a victim in this world or you may choose to be an agent of change. You may choose to live in chaos, confusion or craziness or you may choose to live a life of abundance: love, joy, peace, happiness, health, wealth and perfect self-expression. These attributes are a choice. What's yours?

http://pamelachapman.biz

http://iascendprograms.com

Your Road to Healing: Simple Steps to Get You Off to a Great Start

By Pamela Chapman

It’s easy for coaches, ministers and experts to tell you it’s important to find your way and life-purpose. It’s easier said than done. Isn’t it? In my previous blog, I told you that no matter how difficult or challenging your journey, you lack nothing. Every good thing has already been prepared and given to you for your healing. Today, I’d like to share some road-trip steps that have assisted me. Remember, this is my experience. These tools helped me and continue to be a part of my path to abundant living. However, I am confident if you follow, are consistent and dedicated you will see and begin to live the change.

Become Aware - You must first become aware of the dysfunction, unhappiness, and chaos in your life. I like to call this the drama in your life. Here are a few questions I’d like you to contemplate.

1)                  Are there traumatic, stressful, debilitating, and catastrophic events always occurring in your life?

2)                  Are you always worrying about something and when there’s nothing to worry about, you worry because you don’t have something to worry about?

3)                  When life is calm, are you bored?

4)                  Are you often asking, “Why me?”

5)                  Are you always the martyr, always the victim?

You need not share your responses with anyone, but the next step to finding your road to healing, your road to abundant living, is honesty. If you can’t be honest with yourself then who can you be honest with? Bill Watterson puts it this way. “It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”  Humorous? Yes. But, not when it begins to negatively affect your finances, impede your happiness and stifle your abundance. Why pretend you’re fearless when you’re fear-filled? Why say you’re free, when you’re oppressed? Why say and recite truths when, in reality, there is very little evidence that what you’re reciting is having influence. Is it just mindless utterances you are in the habit of quoting?

Once you’re honest about what you’re wrestling with, get an understanding. If you struggle with debilitating fears, attempt to get to the root. Did the fear come from mom, dad, or another authoritative figure? If you settle in your relationships, work, or affairs ask why? Usually this stems from low self-esteem. How do you really feel about yourself?

Don’t be afraid to go inward. The answers lie within. Yes, God is Almighty, All Creator. Yes, He is in complete control. But, it is also finished. It is my belief that all things have been prepared. It is either finished [completed, ended, done] or it’s not. This means your path, your life-purpose has already been created. It is up to you to find it. You must find your own yellow brick road. God is not behind a magic curtain or invisible hemisphere waiting to react to your every wish, whine or whim. You have the power, all the power you’re ever going to get. You have the authority and ability to co-create for your life. Thwarting responsibility—either waiting for God or blaming the devil—can leave you needy, wanting, and powerless. Go within. Find the God-given power within. Be relentless. God power is in each and every one of us. Empower yourself.

Take Action. While God helps those who help themselves is not an actual Scripture, in every example of Christ healing or helping others, an action was required. For example, the woman with the issue of blood had to press through the crowd and touch the hem of Christ’s garment. The blind man spoken of in John 9, after Christ made a mud/saliva salve and put it on the man’s eyes, he was told to wash in the Pool of Siloam. Even when there was no affliction but a party, action was required. Christ’s first miracle of turning the water into wine, Mary, His mother told the servants to do whatever He, the Christ, told them to do. He instructed them to “fill the jars with water,” and then “draw some out.”

You can’t stand idly by waiting and hoping for your healing. Yes, change is a process, and your road to healing is a process; but, isn’t “process” a course of action? Ask for divine guidance which requires quiet time with you, and then MOVE with unbridled faith and energy.

Raise Your Energy. EVERYTHING is energy. You want to raise the abundance in your life, raise your energy. How? Incorporate lively, positive music into your life. Dance like you’ve never danced before. Shout life-changing declarations at the top of your lungs with great enthusiasm. Pray, Mediate. Laugh. Sing. And, when life tries to slap you down, jump up and slap it back. Declare, I AM Invincible, I AM an Overcomer, I AM more than a Conqueror. Get excited. Be excited, and Remain excited.

If you take these first steps, remain consistent, dedicated and focused I promise you will embark on a life-changing journey of happiness, love, and abundant living. YOUR SATISIFCATION IS GUARANTEED.

An Intentional Media Stunt or Has MTV Accidently Crossed the Line?

By Pamela Chapman

SKINS Chick. That was the message sprawled in large white letters across the back window of a cherry-red, 2008 Toyota pickup sitting in the airport parking lot. I immediately thought Skin Heads, snarled, and continued moving quickly toward the terminal. I never gave the words a second thought. That was until a few days later. Fox Cable News and The Sean Hannity Show were running a piece which began like this, “The risqué MTV show, Skins, may have violated federal child pornography. Publicity stunt or has MTV crossed the lines of child pornography statues?”

I turned up the volume on my flat screen immediately. What the heck did I just hear? Thank goodness for DVR; I rewound the sound bite. Unfortunately, I hadn’t misheard. Hannity’s guest panel was providing debate around whether MTV had intentionally crossed the line and aired a risqué piece or had they plotted a well-thought publicity scheme. MTV has gotten plenty of PR around this and, yes, I’m giving them more. I believe we have grown to be a society who hides its head in the sand like an ostrich. I believe we believe if we ignore our debauchery and social maladies they will go away. Not so.

On January 23, 2011 the New York Times writer, David Carr, wrote “’MTV’s Naked Calculation Gone Bad.’ What if one day you went to work and there was a meeting to discuss whether the project you were working on crossed the line into child pornography? You’d probably think you had ended up in the wrong room. Last week my colleague, Brian Stelter, reported that on Tuesday, the day after the pilot episode of “Skins” was shown on MTV, executives at the cable channel were frantically meeting to discuss whether the salacious teenage drama starring actors as young as 15 might violate federal child pornography statutes.

No one at MTV, which is owned by Viacom, set out to make child pornography, but make no mistake: the series is meant to provoke. “Skins”—a title that derives its name from the rolling papers that are used to make the blunts that go with the vodka that washes down the pills that accompany the hookups—is mostly about explicitly teenage characters doing explicit things. In a cluttered programming era, controversy is oxygen, so MTV was undoubtedly happy with the tsk-tsking the show incited in advance. But objectifying teenage pathology, along with teenage bodies, is a complicated business— and the business that MTV is in.” 

My mind began to reel. I thought of my grandchildren ranging between the ages of four and eighteen. My mind went back to the large letters sprawled on the cherry-red pickup, “Skins Chick” and the other four words that accompanied, “I Just Don’t Listen.” As I continued to watch, the panel on Mr. Hannity’s show began to explain what this new show on MTV was all about. As briefly as possible, Skins is a realty TV series portraying the “real” problems teens face: drugs, alcohol, sexual desires/anxieties/encounters, bullying, parental clashes, etc., etc

Skins portrays young adults (teens) drinking irresponsibly, dropping pills, having wild sex,  and more. Again, its youngest actor is fifteen years of age. What is getting MTV all the publicity is a preview for the series that shows a teen running down the street from a wild party, naked, supposedly with an erection after having taken either Viagra or Cialis. The young man is 17 in real life. So, again, the question is whether MTV crossed the line.

This new show is supposed to be written for adults, MTV argues. LOL! A huge LOL! What adult in their right mind is going to sit around watching this kind of garbage? Let’s see. Let me think about it a couple of minutes. I don’t need to think long just like you don’t. Unfortunately, we know the answer all too well: pedophiles, child molesters, and the sexually perverted. The first show had 33 million viewers which included many of our children.

For God’s sake, can we not see why some countries see us as the devil? Yes, anyone can argue that our children are exposed to this every day. But does that make it right for MTV to target and exploit young people, glorify sexual immorality, promote drug use, and illicit behavior? The Hannity Show shared a photo, from MTV, of a group of young people naked all lying on top of each other inferring an orgy.

In Holy Scripture, the Book of Matthew, Chapter 24, verses 15-16 reads, “So when you see standing in the holy place the abomination that causes desolation, spoken of through the prophet Daniel—let the reader understand— then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains.

There has been great discussion by religious scholars over what the abomination of desolation is. I believe when we sell our children’s souls for the mighty dollar and sacrifice their lives on the altars of greed that is the abomination that causes desolation (wretchedness, bleakness, devastation). Is there any doubt desolation has hit our world? Times Up! Blog is not a religious arena, so I’m going to refrain from delving into this any further.

Let me ask: Where do we draw the line? When did we just give up! When did we decide it was okay to sell our children anything and everything? When did we decide to lie down and allow the networks to rape, pillage and ravage our children’s hearts, minds and souls? Why and how did we become so depraved and decadent? Are our minors so invaluable? Is our future so bleak, so dark that it’s not worth fighting for their lives and very souls? How did we become so complacent?  What’s up with parents? Don’t we care anymore? Are our 9 to 5’s, our homes, and aluminum cars, that lose half their value once they’re driven off the lot, more important?

Skins is programming out of Britain. May I dare to suggest that we lock out MTV until MTV gets the message and sends Skins and all of its other depraved programming packing? Can we tell them we don’t want them influencing our children anymore? Parents take back your homes. Win back your children in love. Teach them what they need to know about unprotected, early sex. Find self-esteem programs run by people who really care and get your children involved!

MTV promotes music videos portraying young girls lying across the laps of gangsters suggesting disgusting, lewd acts of sex. And, trust me, I believe what happens between a man and woman in their bedroom is sacred—no matter what it is; but, to cheapen and lessen what God has made beautiful, to exploit women and children, glorify violence, profanity, and immorality is an abomination.

I took a stand in my home years ago and fought for my son’s soul. I’m willing to take a stand and fight for them all. What about you? Are you the ostrich with you head in the sand; or are you willing to take a stand and fight for what is right for women and children in this country—these United States of America? We’re only as strong as our weakest link.

I only have one thing to say to Viacom, MTV and their Skins show. Get the Hell Out of our living rooms and go back to Britain. Whether this was a MTV publicity stunt or not, the young man in the commercial is 17. Whether you air the show or not, doesn’t matter either. MTV you are in the business of child pornography. You crossed the line in this instance; and you crossed the morality line years ago.

Sexual Assault:Is it Not a Crime When Our Government is the Perpetrator?

By Pamela Chapman

“Stop touching me, stop touching me,” the tiny little girl with long blond hair screamed and cried jumping up and down, reaching for her father as he stood by helplessly. A toddler boy being stripped of his shirt stands innocently and helplessly as complete strangers, in uniform, feel around the waistband of his tiny blue jeans. A middle-aged gentleman whose inner thighs and legs are being groped and rubbed while a TSA agent, with his head between the man’s legs, ambitiously searches for dangerous and threatening items that may impede the safety of airline passengers.

These images on the nightly news are all too fresh in my memory. Stories of innocent American citizens being fondled and groped were being reported. I watched and listened, enraged. Many questions arose. “Was this happening in America? In what airport did the incidents occur? You’ve got to be kidding me; we’re doing all this in the name of protection?”

As I began to realize what was happening right before my very eyes, I was reminded of the humiliating procedure the States use when child abuse is reported. I am a mandated reporter. I believe in the protection of our children. But, I do not believe in the process. When abuse is suspected, social workers burst into homes with their official titles, and children are made to disrobe right down to their underwear. They are then stared at, probed and examined by complete strangers.

I began to think about how vulnerable those children are and how traumatic the experience. Imagine, a child who is harmed either sexually or physically and then made defenseless all over again in the name of protection. We tell these children the “good” people are helping them and it is okay to let the “good” people disrobe, stare and touch. But, how does a child decipher between the “good” person and the “evil” person? Sometimes, a crime isn’t committed but some disgruntled, jerk-of-a parent will use the system to get at their intimate partner. It doesn’t matter. An investigation must be conducted, and rightfully so. However, a better process is long overdue.

How do we teach our children to not speak to strangers, tell them is it wrong for strangers to touch them, and teach them strangers should “ask permission,” but then say it’s okay if it’s a government official? How can we make exceptions for TSA agents and child protection workers? Does anyone see the hypocrisy in our system?  How can we demand laws to lock away pedophiles and sexual perverts yet stand by and allow our government to grope, fondle and assault us?

Unless we are violated in airports—unless we strip down, are felt up, and endure highly radioactive exposure put out by Advanced Imaging Technology, body scanners, we will be killed. How can a country so sophisticated be so unaware and uninformed?

You may argue that it is in the best interest of our society. You may believe the “pat downs, feel ups, and outright sexual assaults are all worth it. But, the reality is our government’s actions are reactive not proactive. They are reactive in child-abuse allegations as well as Homeland Security attacks. State and Federal policies DO NOT STOP extremists, perverts, or abusers. Is it possible that a nation that is responsible for the world’s greatest advancements in science, aerospace, medicine, and technology cannot find a proactive system to protect its citizens—little ones and grown ones? The only way is Sexual assault? Really?

Here is the definition of sexual assault according to The National Center for Victims of Crime. Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent. Some types of sexual acts which fall under the category of sexual assault include forced sexual intercourse (rape), sodomy (oral or anal sexual acts), child molestation, incest, fondling and attempted rape. The definition goes on to read sexual assault in any form is often a devastating crime.

Are we not further contributing to the fear-based psyche so prevalent in our culture? Are there not psychological tests that can be given to suspected child abusers as well as behavioral-pattern observations that may be learned and used by TSA agents? Heck, you can barely get a minimum-wage job today without receiving some type of personality/behavioral test.

The Israeli government has offered the United States its anti-terrorism policies and standards. They don’t feel up their citizens, they do not purposely expose them to high doses of radiation, nor do they profile ethnically. They profile behavior.

Our collective, universal fear of our world being unsafe is causing us to panic, act irrationally, and to accept anything in the name of protection. Sexual abuse is what it is. It is intrusive, it violates human rights and it is devastating. Whether it is performed by an individual citizen or a collective government it is wrong, should not be tolerated under any name or any cause for any purpose not in these United States or any other nation for that matter.

           

Follow the Yellow Brick Road-- The Road to Healing

By Pamela Chapman

Who hasn’t seen or read “The Wizard of Oz” a fairy tale, an innocent child’s fable. But is it? The metaphors, analogies, and symbolisms that are used in this film are unsurpassed. It was produced in 1939, in a time when sound and color film was cutting edge. Its message was loud and clear then and is still relevant today. Unfortunately, I can’t take the time in this piece to point out all the life metaphors I see—that would create a whitepaper. However, I’ll share what resonates in me this morning for you.

Do you remember how the Wizard of Oz begins? Dorothy is attempting to get her family, Uncle Henry and Auntie Em, to listen to her. Mrs. Gulch, the mean, intimidating woman who lives down the road is threatening to take away her beloved dog, Toto. No one has time to listen to Dorothy. There is no comfort, her matter isn’t important. “Don’t bother us now honey. Dorothy, we’re busy. Help us today by staying away.” She takes her concern outside to the farm hands and they, pretty much, give her the same. “Go away, we’re busy, we don’t have time for you.” Zeek goes a step further. “Dorothy use your brain in this matter, will ya?” They finally tell her to go someplace where she can’t get into any trouble. Is any of this beginning to sound familiar? That evening, Mrs. Gulch arrives at Dorothy’s home to take what she so dearly loves. “Please don’t let her take him, Auntie Em. It’s my fault. You can send me to bed without dinner.”

Mean old Mrs. Elvira Gulch takes Toto but he finds his way back. Dorothy fears authorities will be back for him so she runs away. In her running away, she runs smack into Professor Marvel, who knows the past, present, and the future. He consults with his crystal ball which he calls infinite wisdom. Professor Marvel in his wisdom convinces Dorothy to head home. He tells her that her family is grieved by her leaving and Auntie Em has become ill. Almost immediately, a horrific storm materializes quickly turning into a Tornado. Dorothy doesn’t make it to the storm shelter, ultimate safety, but makes it to her bedroom where she is hit in the head by broken window glass and wood due to the force of the storm.

From here, we are taken behind the veil—into Dorothy’s dark world of mind-chatter, donkey-talk, her subconscious Niagara Falls of fear, doubt, guilt, insecurity, low self-esteem worthlessness, and insignificance. We are allowed to see into her heavenly war. We see how she kills the “bad witch:” her enemy, her demon in her life only to discover there’s a bigger, worse “witch” to confront. First thing, the good witch Glenda attempts to make Dorothy define herself as evil or good. Duality is introduced. “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” “Neither,” she responds, but Glenda insists she must be and must recognize one or the other. After all, she’s killed the “bad witch.”

Dorothy shares with good-witch Glenda that she’s trying to find her way home; and, Glenda points her to the way—the yellow brick road. This magical road will take her to the Emerald City where she can then find out how to get there. (In angel work, when light workers call upon the angels to help with healing emotionally and/or physically, they envision their patients surrounded in emerald green light.)

Along her yellow-brick-road journey, she first meets Scarecrow who believes if he had a brain, he’d be smart enough to keep all the pesky pests from the field he’d been given to watch over. He’d be able to keep the field safe. “Dorothy, use your brain about this.” We are seeing Dorothy’s subconscious feeling of inadequacy and her guilt about not being smart enough to adequately protect what she so dearly loves, Toto. The two then meet the Tin Man on their journey who has been abandoned, hardened and rusted due to his inability to love. He believes if he had a heart, he could be gentle. Were not the words spoken to Dorothy, by her family, harsh and unloving planting in Dorothy the seeds of bitterness, low self-esteem, and unforgiveness? And, then there’s my favorite character Cowardly Lion. He’s all rough and tuff on the outside. In fact, he’s a bully; but as soon as he’s confronted, he breaks down and cries. He’s hurting big time on the inside. He believes if he only had courage he could be what he was purposed to be, King of the forest. All the characters, “characteristics” accompanying Dorothy, believe they are lacking, believe they are inadequate and unworthy. “If I… then I could.” The three: Tin Man, Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow represent the three Universal Fears: Fear of Abandonment, Fear of Unworthiness, and Fear that the world is unsafe. Together, they follow the yellow brick road—they seek the long road to healing. Off they go to find the Wizard of Oz for the answer.

Their journey is not an easy one. No, it’s quite challenging, in fact. They run into every dark thing: goblins, gargoyles, flying monkeys—lions, and tigers and bears oh my! When they finally set sight on the Emerald City, Dorothy falls into malaise. She becomes lethargic and falls into a sleep-like state. The closer they get to their answer, the closer she gets to her healing, the rougher it gets. It’s as if she’s made a demand on the universe and it appears as if all hell is breaking out. That is exactly what happens in life, but in actuality everything is going just right. Possibly, there’s even some self-sabotaging going on. When the four, and let’s not forget Toto who was the reason she’d gotten into all this hell in the first place, reach the Emerald Gate they are told by the gatekeeper to GO HOME! They are rejected. “No one can see the great one.” She pleadingly responds, “Then how can anyone know he’s there? I’ve got to see him.” Dorothy’s persistence and tenacity allows her access to the Wizard only to realize the path she was looking for, the answer to finding the road home—her healing—was within her all along. She had courageously faced her challenges or life teachers and won. To get back, all she had to do was believe.

The path back to our true selves, the journey to our healing is not always easy. No in fact, many times it is quite the opposite. We run into disappointments, disillusionments, rejections and tireless, seemingly unfair battles. When it seems like we’re about to have a breakthrough, something else breaks out. We almost always self-sabotage. Sometimes the path brings us to the point of wanting to give up and run away. Can the twisted, horrific storms, the hurricanes and the tornados of life be the very tools to bring us into wisdom, truth and purpose our ultimate healing?

No matter what you face, no matter how challenging the journey, remember Dorothy’s ultimate lesson. You lack nothing. Every good thing has already been prepared and given to you for your healing. No one can tell you what, no one can tell you how or even when; the answer is always within. You are in reality, there.

Don’t give up, don’t give in! If you follow your yellow brick road, asking for divine guidance, divine revelation, and divine intervention along your life path, you will WIN! You will find your way home, your healing. There’s no place like it!

In love, light & healing

Pamela

Pamela Chapman is the Founder of iAscend Programs.

Let There Be Light— One Year Later

 By Pamela Chapman

As Delilah, our leader, advocate, and promoter sent out the blog schedule for “Time’s Up!” she reminded us that we had been creating posts for one year. Yes, Time’s Up! is celebrating its one-year anniversary. Congratulations!

I sat back in my writing chair. I thought of all the stories, all the experts and advocates who had put forth their effort and their voice. I also thought of all the individuals who’d been touched by Time’s Up! those who’d found courage, strength, and the will to go on whether they were fighting for a cause, changing legislature, the system or surviving a tragic event. For one year Time’s Up! has shed light onto a dark subject and provided hope.

It is my personal belief that once light is shed on a subject, no matter what that subject might be, it no longer holds any power. Where women once held their heads low in shame and shut their mouths due to fear, women now hold their heads high, march on Washington, meet with Congress and stand before judges and bring about great change. They are silenced no more. Let’s not forget the men who have joined the cause.

I look back over my Facebook page and in a year we have seen amazing tools, causes, and organizations emerge. Susan Murphy Milano’s Time’s Up! A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship, Crime Wire Investigates Blog Talk Radio and E.S.T.E.A.M have emerged along with numerous humanitarian organizations bringing their light, love, and healing into our world. I AM Change and Beacons of Light fan pages will saturate the internet with so much love pedophiles, sex offenders, and abusers won’t be able to turn to the net to seek out the innocent and vulnerable.

Let there be light. I turned to the internet to find the “official” meaning for this word, light that is. There were many—all the physics stuff of course. However, here is what resonated for me. Light: spiritual awareness; an illumination. Something that provides information or clarification: to throw some light on the situation.  A state of awareness or understanding, especially as derived from a particular source: in the experience.

Times Up! advocates, supporters and subscribers keep up the great work. And may your light bring continued healing, and hope to a world that so desperately needs the change. Let there be light!


Pamela Chapman is the Founder of iAscend Programs and the host of "Get the Hell Out!" on BlogTalk Radio.

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I Wished!

 By Pamela Chapman

As I followed a link that would take me to Susan Murphy Milano’s website, I was lead to another devastating story of our justice system failing three children. I took a deep breath. My heart sank. There seems to be no shortage of stories of mayhem, chaos, devastation, or destruction. Whether we’re looking at domestic destruction or natural destruction the stories are endless.

This morning on my usual walk with self and God I took in the panoramic views of the mountains, the hills, the trees and the skies. Everything around me appeared serene and calm. “Is this real?” I thought. Or, is this my personal phantom or illusion? How can all that I am now seeing appear to be so right, so peaceful and so perfectly aligned with God while there is, yet, another world filled with despair, pain, and devastation? A world where children’s lives are cut short, women are devalued, misogynist beliefs and views are alive and well and, what is wrong is accepted for right.  How can the systems of this world be so broken and twisted?

I began to wish and pray for a better world.  I wished that every child on this earth be able to lay their head down at night without danger, without worry, and without fear. I wished they would experience unconditional love and complete acceptance from their parents or guardians. I wished that every woman would feel and believe she is the apple of God’s eye, His center, and His pursuit. I wished that she would know, without a doubt, without a double-take that she was loved, cherished, and revered. I wished her self-esteem was healthy and her self-confidence strong while believing and knowing she was amazingly created and her God said, “It is good.” I wished she would experience the perfect square of life: health, wealth, love and perfect self-expression. I wished that if and when something went wrong and judgment had to be sought that judgment would be fair, unbiased, and sovereign—not based upon gender, politics, or dollar. I wished the lion and the sheep would be able to lay down with one another and there would be no need for the lion to show how strong or powerful he was. I wished this world would be a harmonious force, each [wo]man finding their way, their purpose and path painlessly.

It can be really easy to dismiss my wishes as hopeful or positive thinking but I won’t give up believing, hoping, praying and wishing. I won’t give up believing, hoping, praying and wishing that the work of my fellow humanitarians, the known and the unknown, will not be in vain and one day, “every tear will be wiped away, every tear from our eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4.

I wished, my sister and my brother that you be endowed with the strength, tenacity, and unconditional love necessary to bring about this great change.

I wished!

Hold On Just a Little While Longer

By Pamela Chapman

So, what do you do when you can’t find the words to explain to those around you that the circumstance, the situation, the grip of the condition is so tight you can hardly get enough air into your lungs to keep breathing? What do you do when you can’t stop the tears and every waking moment reminds you of the pain? What do you do when you can’t say a word and you’re so tired of the battle that all you want to do is lie down and give up? What do you do when the systems of this world fail you?

            These are some of the words I’ve had to remember and speak to myself in the past few months: “The Lord, You, are my Sheppard; I shall not be in want! You make me to lie down in green pastures. You lead me beside the still waters. You restore my soul. You lead me in the paths of righteousness for your name sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:1-4.

            And when the pressure increased, I remembered: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9.

            I have come to realize that my answer to the call or agreeing with my purpose has not come without a price. Neither does yours. I realize I could not emphatically encourage you or sincerely empathize with you if I, myself, did not experience life’s ups and downs. I could not teach you how to soar in the storm unless I knew how to soar in the storm. I could not teach you how to turn adversities into victories unless I face adversity and turn it into victory. I could not teach abundant living, if I did not know and understand abundant living—in spite of illusions in the conscious mind. I could not show you or tell you how to rise and walk, if I could not or did not know how to rise above my ill circumstance, pick up my bed of affliction, and walk.

            I wish today I could hand you a quick fix, honestly. I wish today I could make all the wrongs that life has brought you, right. I wish I could take away all of your pain, immediately. I wish I could turn your cards of life into a royal straight flush. But, I can’t. However, this is what I can do. I can encourage you to hold on. I can tell you and show you how to not give up and not give in. I can lead you toward love, light and healing. And, if you choose such, you will walk into abundant living—in this life, not just the next. You will see JUSTICE, in this world not just the next. You will experience JOY and HAPPINESS not just later, but now. Yes, in this life!

            Now, more than ever, you’ve got to hold onto your faith. And, when the systems of this world give you a resounding no, go to the center of you—tap into the very essence of you, and listen. Listen until you hear a resonating YES and hear how you’re supposed to proceed. I don’t care what your doctor has told you, it doesn’t matter what the judge’s verdict or sentence, or even what your mind-chatter or donkey talk is telling you. Today—Hold On, BELIEVE, DON’T GIVE UP, and DON’T GIVE IN. Remember this, if you want a miracle you have to be in motion. If you’ve done all you know to do, then STAND knowing there is a power greater and bigger than you, than me, and the system. And though sometimes it may seem as if all Creator doesn’t hear, He’s forsaken you and left you to go it alone, rest assured, He is right there—right in the middle of your circumstance. 

Hold on, just a little while longer.

One Day We Shall Truly Overcome

By Pamela Chapman

I really don’t know what’s been going on with me lately. I don’t know if my heart has been so incredibly stirred up because I recently had Susan Murphy-Milano on my blog talk show where she discussed her ingenious Time’s Up:A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship. She always moves me to conviction! Maybe I’m being riled up because of my one-month sabbatical to the Yucatan, or maybe because of what I’m seeing here. So what is it that I’m seeing? INJUSTICE! This is not the first time I’ve seen injustice but today I’m seeing more than ever. 

 

Let’s take a closer look at the word “injustice.” The definition of justice is: fairness, impartiality, righteousness, evenhandedness, and fair dealing. According to the Encarta English Dictionary, justice is fairness or reasonableness, especially in the way people are treated or decisions are made; system or application of law—the legal system, or the act of applying or upholding the law; to deal with somebody or something fairly. Merriam-Webster says that justice is the maintenance and administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments. The quality of being just, impartial and fair.  

In studying this word further, we must look at the words that were used to define it, such as righteousness, fairness, impartiality, and just. Due to the brevity of this piece, let’s just concentrate on “righteousness.” When I think of righteousness, I think of the righteousness of God. I think of that which is virtuous, that which is upright. I’m reminded of integrity, equity, straightness, and truth.  

That is what our legal system is supposed to represent, but it does not. What we see instead—particularly in domestic violence cases—is quite the opposite. We see the unfairness of our legal system. We see that if you don’t have money—large sums of money, to be exact—you don’t get justice. Everything that occurs in the justice system is about money: lawyers, coaches, counselors, and even mediators all cost money. Excellent attorneys, the ones who get convictions, cost a fortune. The male usually has and controls the money and leaves the woman at a disadvantage.  

In our legal system, we see prejudice. We see male perpetrators being slapped on the hand, by male judges, for their crimes especially if they are prominent figures or in the limelight. We see judges making biased decisions to give abusers and perpetrators custody rights when so many of these abusers have sexually violated their partners. You know, they have to be fair.  

We see the inequality when it comes to the rights of women and the rights of men. In my state, Colorado, if the police are called out in a domestic violence dispute, they must make an arrest. If a woman has decided to defend herself, it is more than likely that she will be the one going to jail. Officers often do not take the time—or to be fair, even have the time—to find the truth or search out the facts. She might wind up with a felony on her record.  

We see the hypocrisy of the system when detectives won’t even open missing-persons cases on women. We see women and children having little or no value in our justice system. We see our justice system acting as if justice is for all and as if justice is blind.  

I know that there are days when it seems like you are not making any difference. Some days it probably seems as if wickedness and the injustices of this world, not just in America, are prevailing. But may I leave you these few short words of encouragement and inspiration? Stand! “He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” —Psalm 37:6 “And, He shall bring upon them their own iniquity, and shall cut them off in their own wickedness, yea, the Lord our God shall cut them off.” Psalm 94:23. 

Keep up the work of your great cause. Don’t give up and don’t give in. We will continue to join together and fight not only for the annihilation of domestic violence, but for justice in every murder case, for every missing person, and for every child who is abused and sexually violated. One day, we shall truly overcome. Just continue to stand!  

In love, light, and healing 

Pamela 

Vital Belief #4—Take Care of You First

By Pamela Chapman

If you read my previous blog entry, Vital Belief #3, you’ll recall that I spoke of breathing correctly. I spoke of the flight attendant telling you to put the oxygen mask over your own nose and mouth in case of emergency and why doing so is critical. Today’s blog is just an expansion of that and is written especially for you ladies. Gentlemen, you can follow the same advice, but we girls tend to take care of everyone else before we think of ourselves. We don’t usually take time for ourselves until our bodies are screaming “STOP!” or literally stopping us with illness.


While many of our Time’s Up! activists are pursing incredibly urgent causes—abuse, missing persons, murder, and cyber crimes, to name a few—I am committed to inspiring, motivating, strengthening, and bringing inner healing to you while you fight. I commit to building your stamina while you carry on for the cause. This is why my writings never speak to the pain, but bring you glimpses of peace, light, and love. 


In your urgent and critical endeavors, it is so easy to forget about you and the importance of taking care of yourself. You might even consider it selfish to think about yourself when there are so many atrocities occurring 24/7 around the world. But, let me put it this way: without you, those atrocities wouldn’t be confronted or addressed. Your movement would possibly die or be delayed. So, here’s some simple and practical advice that won’t take a lot of your time or energy.

When your mind is unfocused, you can’t remember where you’re putting things, you don’t know what you did last or what you should do next, and your body aches all over, STOP! Take a break—take time off. Take time to smell the roses, look at the blue sky by day, and count the stars by night. Check out that ball in the sky that gives you light for the darkest night, takes on different shapes, and even smiles at you at times. Take off your shoes and socks and feel the grass between your toes, take a deep breath and smell its freshness, put your ear to its roots and listen to it crackle as it grows—it’s life. Is there an ocean nearby so that you can listen to its roar and hear what it wants to say to you? Is there a calm river that wants to take you gently and peacefully, without your working, downstream?


Pretty Woman, one of my all time favorite movies (that and the Ten Commandments—go figure) shows us how a working woman, a woman of the oldest profession, teaches an ambitious, overachieving entrepreneur how to embrace life and love and take care of himself. It’s not enough to pursue your goals, passions, or causes if you, in turn, miss out on life and neglect yourself. This may rub you the wrong way, but let me remind you of this: the basis of life isfreedom; the result of life is expansion; and the purpose of life is life more abundant. 


That statement may really tick you off, especially if you have just experienced tragedy. But I reiterate: the purpose of that tragedy is to expand you and bring you to your purpose in life. All Creation knew you could move through the experience, make the choice to step up to the experience, and then do something about it. You weren’t going to just take it. The experience may have crippled you for a moment, but you chose to get up and out of your pain, disappointment, and anger. You made a choice to carry on. During the process you may have cried, broken down, and even come close to death yourself, but in the end, you endured and found or are finding joy and peace in making great change. Your purpose will outweigh your pain if you say yes to the call.


With that being said, you must take care of you. Go back to the first three vital beliefs I gave you at the beginning of the year: ground yourself every day, if not several times a day; only put out what you want to get back (love, joy, and peace); and  breathe deeply. If your body or mind begins to ache, it’s sending you a signal: you’re out of alignment (ouch). If you start to sneeze and cough, you’re doing too much (ouch again), and if you find yourself with a more serious dis/ease (heart ailment, diabetes, or, God forbid, cancer) this is your body crying out for you to love YOU. Let go, rest, wait, refocus, reenergize, and balance. Do some soul searching. Your body, soul, and spirit are sending you a strong message. You can do all of the things you want to do: pursue careers, raise children, seek justice, introduce bills and amendments, expose untruths, and reveal truths. But do it in wholeness, not brokenness. 


You make no great witness if you are unbalanced, broken, or bereaved. It is my belief that the only way you’re going to change the world is to be that example of wholeness: to be the healed (mentally, physically emotionally), to be the light, and to be the love. When we can be that, others will want to be like us. You can only become that by taking care of you first.


In love, light, and healing,
Pamela Chapman
Certified Self-Esteem, Life-Transition Expert
Certified Domestic Violence Specialist

Vital Belief #3 for Achieving Success in 2010—Breathe

By Pamela Chapman

Here it is, April 26, 2010 already. I started out writing to you in January about five vital beliefs for achieving success this year. These last four months, I have had to hold on tight to those beliefs and also rely on the expert advice of friends, family, and associates because I’ve been in a state and a season of transition. So the advice I’m about to give you, I’ve been living. And it works.


Last year, I was introduced to a wonderful woman by the name of Ana-Christina Wadle. She is a quantum coach who has written a book called The Simple Tools of Hope. One of the tools Ana-Christina talks about is taking the time to breathe. I remember when I first read it I thought, “Breathe?” I smiled, taking her advice lightly. I forgot that one simple word of advice until I found myself totally stressed out and talking to a business coach who told me to do the same thing. “Pamela, you are working way too hard, doing way too much; you need to stop and breathe. And the bill is…”


The contributors to the Time’s Up! blog and subscribers to the Time’s Up! Searching Out Solutions for Victims are busy people: many are advocates, and many are activists. We take care of our families, clients, and customers, and we fight for our cause. “Transition and change” is our motto; healing is our calling. We take care of people during the emergencies of life. Oftentimes, we are so caught up with helping others and changing our world that we forget to take care of ourselves.


I’m sure almost every one of you has flown on a plane. You know that before that plane takes off, a friendly attendant tells you what you must do in case of an emergency. If there is a sudden loss of altitude, the oxygen masks will be released from the overhead bins. You are supposed to place the mask over your nose and mouth and pull on the yellow tabs to release the flow of oxygen. If you are traveling with a child, you should place the mask over your nose and mouth first. If you are a parent, this seems to go against every paternal instinct you have. 


Oxygen, or breathing, ensures that the brain keeps thinking, the heart keeps beating, the cells release energy, and the vital parts of our body function correctly. It is amazing how we breathe 24/7 without any thought about the process. It is also amazing how we breathe so badly during our conscious moments—so fast and furious that it is almost hyperventilating at times. Notice your breathing now. What is it like? Is it quick and shallow or is it deep and deliberate? Your breathing correlates with how you are feeling and how you are functioning. 


Stop right now with me. Yes, that’s correct, stop right now, and practice breathing. Take a slow deep breath, feeling your lungs expand to their fullness, then exhale, feeling the warm air flowing from your nostrils exiting into the atmosphere. Feel your chest sinking inward. You might go one step further and take a deeper breath, pushing out your stomach, expanding your lungs until they feel like they might explode, holding your breath to the count of three, slowing exhaling, releasing, and sinking in your stomach, and pressing all the air out of your lungs. 


If you are doing this while you’re reading, you will notice a sudden shift if you are doing it correctly. The room surrounding you will appear slightly different; you will have seemed to settle and be more relaxed and at peace. You might even feel a little lightheaded. If that happens, an actual physiological change has occurred. You will now be more focused, and your priorities will be clear. You will also feel energized, restored, and a little more balanced—able to make a greater difference in our universe or pursue your cause with more direction and vigor.


You may not feel like a happy-go-lucky, everything-is-beautiful person right now. You are under stress. Some of you choose your stress, but many of you are thrown into (dis)stress. If you remember to take just a few seconds to breathe correctly, once or twice during your hectic day, you will be more balanced, you will feel healthier, and you will certainly accomplish more. 

I believe if you want to be successful in 2010, making the choice to take the time to breathe correctly is vital. May the peace of God that passes all understanding guard both your heart and mind.


In love, light, and healing,
Pamela Chapman