The Fantasy of the Dragon Tattoo

by Roger Canaff

The suffering, revenge and eventual triumph of Rooney Mara’s character in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo over institutionalized rape is something that stands out even as a minor subplot in a fairly complicated film. And what she is able to accomplish against her abuser is nothing short of fantastic in the traditional sense of the word: It is the product of fantasy. Tragically, for untold numbers of victims placed in the situation that Rooney’s character, Lisbeth Salander is, fantasy must suffice.

I use the term “institutionalized rape” because that’s how I view what happened to the character of Salander, a legally incompetent ward of the state deemed mentally unstable. She is subjected to sexual torture by a predatory bureaucrat who controls her finances after her legal guardian suffers a stroke. He withholds money for essentials like food and electricity, releasing funds only when she endures sexual acts. Eventually he demands that she come to his home where he anally rapes her while she is strapped to a bed.

As the predator discovers, however, Salander is not what she appears to be, which is the “typical” helpless victim. Instead she is a computer genius armed with a photographic memory, intense athletic prowess, and an iron will. She has the wherewithal to secretly film herself being raped, and eventually uses that evidence to not only control the predator’s actions toward her, but also to effectively paralyze him from harming other similarly situated women and girls in his sphere of control. But not until brutalizing him justly and branding him a rapist with crude tattoos across his ample mid-section.

In short, she is a rightful, rageful hero to women and children everywhere who have experienced that kind of abuse. And believe me, abuse at the hands of a protected cog in a monolithic institutional wheel is abuse that is grossly under reported and almost never vindicated.

I suspect that what Salander endures at the hands of the all-powerful authority who holds the keys to her very survival is even more impactful in the context of a social democracy like Sweden where the state intrudes further into everyday life than it does in the U.S. Regardless, what she suffers is time-honored and sickeningly resilient despite reforms and efforts to eliminate it. Across the globe and in every possible arrangement of human organization, predators seek, find and feed.

The reason is simple. Predators infiltrate the institutions that provide them power to predate and victimize. It’s true that power corrupts, but more importantly, it attracts. Power attracts predators who will seek it as a catalyst to get the things they want. If what they want is sexual control over others, they’ll infiltrate the institutions society creates that will allow for such abuses. There is no shortage of them.

What’s wonderful and dreamlike about Lisbeth Salander is that she embodies the intoxicating if mostly fanciful notion that resourcefulness, brilliance and brutal determination can turn the tables on a powerful predator and render him limp and lame. Sadly, for most, it is only a dream.

A widely known child protection and anti-violence against women advocate, legal expert, author and public speaker, Roger Canaff has devoted his legal career to the eradication of violence against women and children.

Roger Canaff: Anti-Violence Advocate, Child Protection Specialist, Legal Expert Blog: WCSV (Women, Children, Sex, Violence: Outcry, Analysis, Discussion) www.rogercanaff.com

 

 

Related articles

• Strange Girls: Lisbeth Salander (manbehindthecurtain.ie)
• The Woman Who Hates Men Who Hate Women (bookblob.wordpress.com)
• Vulnerabilty, Danger, and Blame (timesupblog.blogspot.com)
• Which Fringe Is Most Fabulous on Rooney Mara? (bellasugar.com)

At the University of Vermont: A Brother With a Problem

Roger A. Canaff 

It’s really not a secret: I have a pretty strong 'anima' or feminine side. 

I don’t resent it. I think it’s made me a much more effective special victims prosecutor over the years. And in any event it’s who I am. My closest circle of male friends will readily confirm that I navigate those friendships more as if I were a spouse or partner than any sort of a “guy’s guy.” That can be frustrating for everyone involved. And of course, I have my professionally inspired inferences, which should and do make me more sensitive to things like rape culture, male privilege, and other issues faced by women and girls in ways that most men really can’t imagine. So yeah- I’m something of a woman trapped in man's body if you’re going to buy into a lot of generalizations about how women think and react, and what it means to be emotionally “feminine.”

So be it. Nevertheless, I’m a straight guy and generally typical where sexual fantasizing is concerned. So shameful or not, tasteless or not, over the years and at every social stage of my life, I'll readily admit that I’ve taken some part in the game of “Hey man, who would you sleep with in [insert environment here]?”

And believe me, it can be any environment. And it is every environment, at least where members of the opposite sex are even remotely observable. A high school Spanish class. A summer camp. A basic training unit, an introductory psychology course, the 5th floor of a dorm, an office mail room, the accounting department, the DNA lab, etc, etc, etc. 

Yes, it’s tawdry. And utterly pointless. Regardless, it’s what men do. Gay men do it as well, and sometimes in mixed groups we’ll all play the game, with the gay guys making their own considered judgments about men, and often commenting with high degrees of validity on women as well.

For most of us, this stupid tradition begins innocently, scattered across that late elementary to middle or junior high school period where girls become suddenly and then perpetually interesting (and of course, for homosexual boys it really can’t begin until they find themselves in much more progressive environments then the kind I came up in). So it might start in 5th grade or thereabouts with “who would you want to see without her clothes on?” But it quickly progresses to more imaginative and specific scenarios, and it never really stops. It’s far from angelic, often inaccurate, and always objectifying. It’s wrong and I won’t make excuses for it. 

I’ll also note that, regardless of what I do and who I am or profess to be, I’ve played the game in places that are hardly feminist enclaves. I’ve played it in warehouses, on airport tarmacs and construction sites where I worked for years before entering professional life. I’ve played it in countless police cars, detective squad rooms, bars, diners and alleyways, passing the time for various reasons and waiting for something to happen. I’ve played it with men educated and not, supposedly enlightened and not, gentle and not.

What I’ve never, ever heard in roughly 35 years is any man, anywhere, ask “so if you could rape someone, who would it be?” 

It’s true: That cyber-blessed term “WTF” was honestly coined for such an abomination.

There are variations of this game I will remove myself from or avoid if I detect cruelty or a line I just don’t feel comfortable crossing. But no guy in my experience has ever even approached the idea of rape. Ever. If I could rape someone, who would it be? Even writing that out makes me cringe.

So “WTF” the fraternity brother at the University of Vermont was thinking when he added that to the lets-get-know-each-other ‘new brother questionnaire’ is worth exploring. And I mean between him and a good mental health provider. Because it’s more than just tasteless; it’s downright scary. Perhaps the guy who wrote this and anyone else at this chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon who deemed it acceptable is just remarkably awkward and clumsy with word choice. But I’ll vote for disordered. The word “rape” is one of the ugliest in our language. It’s mono-syllabic, blunt, and shocking. It’s supposed to be. While it usually doesn’t involve these things, it conjures in most minds gratuitous violence, torn clothing, screaming, and injury. It at least evokes- as it should- terror and a life-altering, shattering experience of trauma on the part of the victim. So how it could be in any way confused with the desire to engage with someone sexually is beyond me. There are psychological and legal terms for men who only or primarily respond to non-consensual sexual situations. If that’s the case with the questionnaire author or authors, then those who share their environment should know about it.

I'm glad that (at least) there's been a tremendous backlash at UVM and an appropriate student response to the leaked document. I hope this gratifying response lingers after the dust settles, and that male and female students in this well-loved college environment continue to reject the idea of anything like this in their midst. Because it’s more than just disgusting. It’s dangerous. 

A widely known child protection and anti-violence against women advocate, legal expert, author and public speaker, Roger Canaff has devoted his legal career to the eradication of violence against women and children.

Roger Canaff: Anti-Violence Advocate, Child Protection Specialist, Legal Expert Blog: WCSV (Women, Children, Sex, Violence: Outcry, Analysis, Discussion) www.rogercanaff.com

Disturbia

By Lavinia Masters

There was a movie that came out in theaters May 2004, entitled Van Helsing. It was an American action horror film and a great film if I may add. The synopsis of the movie was that Van Helsing was a notorious monster hunter sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula who is using Dr. Frankenstein’s research and a werewolf for his sinister purpose. However the disturbing thing about me enjoying this movie is that even as a child I have always had a crippling fear of werewolves.

My fear for this half human-half monster was so great that the thought of me being outside on a full moon after midnight…was not an option. I even remember the time when my son was only 3 years old and I purchased him paisley curtains and bed covers because I felt that it was time for his room to reflect the big boy that he was. Well about the third night he woke up screaming and hollering there were werewolves in his curtains and in his bedcovers as he pointed to the detailed designs of the burgundy and blue paisley that I once loved and could not sleep in his room for the rest of the night. Needless to say the next morning the curtains, covers and bed sheets all had to be returned the next day not just for his fears but mine. How in the world did this child know my hidden fears? I never expressed this to him or around him…mainly because I did not want him to see my weakness but especially because I did not want him to develop the same fears. Although I still wrestle with whether or not werewolves really exist…you will not find me outdoors, after midnight when there is a full moon.

Last night I watched this movie again...in its entirety… alone as I was preparing the details of my annual “balloon release” in my continued efforts of raising awareness, education and empowerment to victims of sexual violence. I then began to read this blog about these two young girls out of the Houston area that was gang raped and killed in the early 90’s. The gory details of how these gang members attacked these girls as they walked home… were very upsetting and disturbing to me. I later found myself going off to sleep but before I did…I prayed for two things…one was that it be revealed to me why I am so disturbed with the thought of werewolves and two that the families of these young girls have peace after such tragedies and that the deaths of these two young victims were not in vain.

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and kicking because of the dream that I was having. In my dream I was being chased and attacked by a gang that was trying to rape me. I remember that no one heard my screams as if everyone had purposely turned a deaf ear to me. There were people all around but no one reached out to help me as if they refused to see my danger. They locked their doors…they turned their heads and they continued to move on as if they did not see or care about my distress or immediate danger. I was devastated…how could people be so heartless in my time of need. How can others not care about anyone else but themselves especially when they are in need? Then the last question I asked myself…why was it a gang of men that was chasing me and not werewolves?

I sat up in my bed and just like the dawn of a new morning it came to me so clearly why I had the fear of man eating werewolves. My mind went back to the night before my grandmother’s funeral in ’81…all the children were over at my cousin's house in Waco, Texas and we were watching “American Werewolf in London”. Note my grandmother never allowed me to watch any kind of horror movies and pretty much shielded me from anything gross, violent or “unnecessary foolishness” as she called it. However if my cousins or big brother did happen to let me sneak a movie that I was not suppose to see…I knew that my “Maam-Maw” would be right there to protect me because she was not afraid of anyone or anything…not even a werewolf. However, as I went off to bed that night in ’81 another reality had sunk in…my granny would no longer there for me. So here I am almost 40 years later…just now understanding that I am associating my grandmother’s death with the terror of werewolves.

This is how I was able to so easily place myself in the nightmare of being gang raped by these young women's attackers...the protection and comfort that I would normally find in my grandmothers arms was no longer there. I was able to identify with the sudden terror of being taken away from loved ones and being attacked and mutilated only for the midnight hour to hear your silent screams. I had personally been there when I begged and pleaded for mercy and for the pain to stop but it seemed to have no end. I wanted help but no one heard or understood my cries…their ears were like those born deaf and their eyes were as if they were given sight without vision…and no one knew the words to comfort me or would use their voice to speak for me. Rape had become my werewolf and my flesh was not all that it wanted to destroy.

Before I went back to sleep last night I was grateful that I was able to overcome and heal from my own personal trauma from sexual violence but I also made a decree that werewolves will no longer disturb me after midnight, because I have the power to slay these half man-half monsters. I also have the power to make sure that these two young victims’ deaths will never be in vain because I will continue to be the eyes to see when things are wrong and need change when it comes to bringing justice to sexual violence…ears to hears the cries and fear of the victims when they cry for help and assistance after sexual trauma… and the voice that will speak out and against all sexual violence.

My grandmother may not be here in body but her spirit lives on. She has taught me many things at such an early age…one thing was that God did not give us a spirit of fear but of peace and a sound mind. I have to be courageous so that I may continue to slay the “werewolves” that prey upon and violate the innocent. This calling is not designated for one month out of the year but for every second out of a minute…there is a full moon rising…its late in the evening and there is much work for us to do. We have got to ask God to give us back our hearing, sight and voices…we need them so we can rescue victims that fall into sexual trauma. These type of occurrences have to be disturbing to you…we have to say enough is enough! We can’t willingly and knowingly continue to allow our children to be sexually abused by those that they are suppose to trust…we can’t continue to let innocent lives be snatched away like a vapor…we must hear their silent screams…we have to see their hidden pain and fears but most importantly we have to give them back their voice by speaking up and out against sexual violence!

I’m not asking you to become Van Helsing but I am asking you to wake up…someone has to work the night shift.

Lavinia Masters is the Founder of S.A.V.E. Ministry and has worked extensively with sexual assault and rape victims, assisting them towards healing.  She has spoken out on CNN and other news outlets, as well as at conferences globally about the need for quick response with DNA and rape kit testing results.

The Seebergs Gain Ground: Thank God

By Roger A. Canaff, JD

Elizabeth “Lizzy” Seeberg passed to the next life on September 10, 2010, a little more than a year ago. I did not know her. Readers of this space, however, know that I was profoundly touched by her life, her death, her courage, and finally the courage of her parents as 9/10/10, for them, bled brutally into the following fall and winter.

For the Seebergs, last fall was not a typical one for a Roman Catholic, Chicagoland family with multi-generational ties to Notre Dame du Lac and St. Mary’s. There was no warm delight in the football schedule, the changing of the seasons, or the approach of the holidays.  Instead it was a dark struggle in the wake of a nightmare with a suddenly impenetrable bureaucracy that was the Notre Dame administration. Since I and others have described them before, I won’t recount here the missteps I believe Notre Dame took, both with the investigation of Lizzy’s attack and with its interpretation of federal privacy laws. Suffice to say the Seebergs, already dealing with the worst nightmare any parent could face, were met largely with incompetence and then obstruction where her attack and death were concerned.

However, their resolve yielded some progress earlier this year when Notre Dame agreed to significant reforms in its response to sexual violence after an investigation by the Department of Education (DoE) in the wake of Lizzy’s death.

And beyond Notre Dame, hope also sprung forth in the form of DoE policy with the publication of an April, 2011 “Dear Colleague” letter from Russlyn Ali, Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights at the Department of Education.  The bottom line is that just about every U.S. public or private institute of higher learning relies on federal funding for various parts of its mission. The DoE Office of Civil Rights is empowered to condition receipt of federal dollars on meeting certain standards of protection for students at risk for discrimination. The office considers sexual harassment and assault to fall under that category.  The letter outlines several things colleges need to do in order to be in compliance with best practices where the response to sexual violence is concerned. Examples are things like preventing offenders from personally cross-examining victims in non-legal disciplinary hearings, and requiring a preponderance standard in determining the outcome. These things are hardly revolutionary or anti-due process.

Nevertheless, a backlash has arisen from various pundits who see these measures as some sort of perverse manifestation of political correctness that threatens to derail some precious and flowering aspect of adolescent college life.

One commentator, Sandy Hingston, unsurprisingly a romance novelist, tragically conflates the sexual exploration of adolescence with rape. She harkens back to what were apparently her and her counterparts’ own experiences of awkwardly waking up with boys in compromising situations and just not making a big deal of it. To the extent that such consensual liaisons happen, she’s correct- a big deal shouldn’t be made of it.

But here’s the rub: It isn’t.

Those awkward, fuzzy situations continue to occur every night in college life- more so now than then.  But they almost never produce complaints of rape, and nothing in the DoE’s guidance will change that. The fact is, most women and men who are clearly sexually violated in liquor-fueled, late-night encounters do not wake up and cry rape, let alone what victims of murkier situations do. The over-riding response to being violated sexually is to blame oneself and say nothing, and that will not quickly change. The DoE guidelines are simply helping to level the playing field in cases where the violation is clear enough, as in the case of Lizzy Seeberg, where an outcry is not only just, but necessary to the security of the campus and all of the students on it.

But this is lost on commentators who type with panicked fingers about how these changes will surely quell romance, stunt the college experience, and lead to the rounding up of men and permanent victim-hood of women.

Nonsense. This is argument in a bubble, utterly unschooled or unaware of how sexual violence actually occurs between people in the real world. Another commentator, Peter Berkowtiz, wonders aloud in the Wall Street Journal which campus leaders will come forward to challenge this new, frightening world order. Among others, he entreats literature professors to instruct that “particularly where erotic desire is involved, intentions can be obscure, passions conflicting, the heart murky and the soul divided.”

Really? So when a woman (or a man) is trembling in a strange bed, or stumbling, half-dressed from a backseat or a back room with the dawning horror of having been sexually assaulted, what she must first do is consider the divided and murky nature of her passionate soul?

Both commentators can be forgiven for naiveté, but neither have a clue what sexual violence really looks like.  The reality is, when complaints are made- or even contemplated- it’s almost never a close call.  It’s almost never a gray area.  Despite the musings of Mr. Berkowitz and others, sexual violence isn’t simply an unfair moniker for the complicated, erotic interplay of Rhett, Scarlett and a swollen, harvest moon in a sultry, starlit sky. It’s really much more banal, blunt, and evil than that. When it happens, and it does, it needs to be dealt with competently and fairly.

Competence and fairness. That’s what Lizzy Seeberg needed, and in large part what she was denied. That’s why her parents fight on, not for Lizzy now, but lovingly in her memory and valiantly for the millions of women they know will face what she faced. They could have been easily forgiven for shutting down and tuning out after the loss of the light in their lives, yet they are doing neither. Their angel is gone from this life, but they are not content with waiting to see her in the next. They are fighting to protect the angels of others who will wander onto campuses and into situations unmistakable in their criminality and deserving of a realistic, healing, and just response. The DoE’s efforts and its hard look at Notre Dame are a product of that fight. Both are welcome steps toward a better world.


A widely known child protection and anti-violence against women advocate, legal expert, author and public speaker, Roger Canaff has devoted his legal career to the eradication of violence against women and children.  Visit Roger's website:  www.rogercanaff.com

What to Do After Partner Rape

By Guest Writer, Allison Gamble 

No means no, even if he "loves" you. If you have been raped by your partner, it is a crime every bit as illegal and traumatic as any other sexual assault. The fact that you are intimately familiar with your rapist does not change the criminal status of their behavior, but it can put you at additional risk.

According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, "Research indicates that survivors of partner rape are more likely to be raped multiple times when compared to stranger and acquaintance rape survivors. As such, partner rape survivors are more likely to suffer severe and long-lasting physical and psychological injuries." It is very important that you take steps to get yourself to safety.

Securing Your Safety
If you are able to leave the premises, do so immediately. If you can't, call the police. Dial 911 and get help immediately. If you can't safely use your phone, ask a friend or neighbor to allow you to use theirs immediately after the assault. It is important to find a way to get help as soon as possible. The police will be able to assist you to safety. If you have children, take them with you.

Seek Out Professionals
Contact your local rape crisis center or women's shelter. Often, workers in these facilities will have a psychology degree, and will be able to assist you emotionally. These organizations have information and resources like shelter, clean clothes, childcare, counseling, and legal advice, at their disposal to help you. They will also provide you with a network of understanding friends who can help you make difficult choices at this time. Contacting national organizations like Safe Horizon or After Silence will help you connect with other people of both genders who have been through similar circumstances. Many sites offer online communities where you can share your feelings and heal together.

Preserve Crime Evidence
Preserve evidence of the crime against you to the best of your ability. Do not shower. Save the clothing you were wearing when the assault occurred in a paper bag. Try not to eat or drink anything, and don't clean your fingernails or brush your teeth.

Get Medical Assistance
As soon as possible, go to your local emergency room. If you are unable to call the police, go directly to the hospital, where emergency workers can help you report the crime. Have your injuries treated, and complete a rape kit, even if you don't think you want to pursue prosecution at the time. You may change your mind later, or choose to use the evidence as leverage to end the relationship or file a personal protection order.

Get the Support You Need
Call a trusted friend of family member to be with you. Your loved ones can offer support or childcare if you need it, but they won't know you do unless you say so! Talk with trusted friends and family members about the assault. Talking about the rape will help you heal from the assault, and friends can help you find additional assistance and resources.

Take Legal Action
While this step can be difficult and intimidating, it is important to take legal action against your rapist. At the very least, obtain a personal protection order against the perpetrator. Better still, prosecute them and have them put in jail. Rape is a crime, even when your romantic partner is the rapist. Remember that you are worthwhile. You deserve to be protected against sexual predators and to move forward with a happy and productive life after assault.




"Allison Gamble has been a curious student of psychology since high school. She brings her understanding of the mind to work in the weird world of internet marketing."

Redefining Rape

By Heidi Hiatt

Noel Coward once said that it is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. This backward reaction is often true when men and women disclose sexual assault, especially in cases in which the circumstances of the assault do not meet the traditional definition of rape.

Our society has been conditioned to define rape narrowly, usually as a man forcing themselves upon a woman. But force is just one way of violating another human being, and both genders can be victims of rape. Fraud and coercion are two other major means of achieving power and control over another via sexual violation.

Unfortunately, defining rape as anything but an act of force is stereotyped as feminist or liberal thinking. Reality is that rape committed through fraud and coercion can cause most of the same traumatic effects as rape by force. We don’t need scientific proof of this; just ask someone who’s been through it. PTSD, for example, is alive and well in a wide range of rape victims.

Rape by fraud and coercion can carry an additional psychologically damaging element because victims may question how they could allow themselves to be duped and blame themselves for the violation. Victims can also suffer from lasting medical issues such as sexually transmitted diseases, some life-threatening, as a result. Pregnancies and financial difficulties can occur, and the victim’s ability to have or maintain future relationships can suffer horribly.

Many rape laws in this country were written years, even decades ago. The legal definition of rape in most states does not allow for the prosecution of anything but rape committed by force. Lawmakers frown warily upon expanding the definition of rape to include rape by fraud and/or coercion, afraid that they are opening up a can of worms. Prosecuting fraud and coercion cases may not be as concrete as force cases because of a potential lack of evidence.

In other papers and articles I’ve written, I’ve questioned the validity of narrow and archaic definitions of crimes against persons given the breadth and depth of evil in this world. In many stalking statutes, for example, I’ve questioned why fear is a necessary element of the crime when not all stalking victims feel afraid. Some are angry, some are annoyed. Why does the definition of stalking depend on the victim’s reaction rather than the suspect’s repeated intrusions upon their life?

Only within the past decade have legal definitions of stalking begun to catch up to the realities of what stalking is. Not long before stalking started to be taken seriously, domestic violence laws finally started to acknowledge what’s actually going on in our society. Now it’s time for rape laws to join the modern age. Why is force the most important factor in what constitutes a rape? What about consent? Is it more important that violence occurred, or is it more important that the victim did not give consent, or would not have given consent had they known the truth?

This is one of the arguments that legal minds become embroiled in when rape is discussed. Various rulings have said that despite the web of lies a perpetrator has spun before robbing a victim sexually, intercourse gained by fraud doesn’t equal rape. Never mind when the victim is thrown to the side of the road like garbage once the rapist is through with them, or the mental issues the realization that they have been taken advantage of has caused them.

Never mind the doctor bills, or the expensive prescriptions, or the children that they are left to care for on their own. They may be scarred for life once it occurs to them that they were lied to and used as a plaything, diversion, or resource, but none of that seems to matter if they were not knocked down in a dark alley and brutalized by a stranger. Most rapists are known to the victim, by the way, and many have committed rape by fraud and coercion multiple times.

Defining rape by force only is, in a word, ridiculous. It’s like saying that you’ve only been robbed if an attacker punches you in the face and takes your wallet from you. People can be deprived of their money and property by many other means. The criminals who rake in the most money don’t take it by force, but take it by fraud and coercion. They are smooth talking psychopaths who wheedle their way into victims’ lives and convince them that sharing of themselves is in their own best interest.

If we built our financial laws around the concept of force, then Billy the Kid would be a robber since he used guns and shot people, but Bernard Madoff would not (and yes, I realize that Madoff is technically called something different). Why then do we define rape this way? Is one’s bank account more important than their body? It is fraud if you are talked out of your retirement accounts but not out of your virginity? It is coercion if you sign over control of your assets under threat of harm but not if your sexual violator promises to tell your family things they don’t need to know if you refuse them? How does this make sense? How is this equitable?

For those opposed to the idea of including rape by coercion or fraud in a legal definition of rape, or those who see problems with prosecuting such cases, the concept should not be completely dismissed. Rape does happen this way and we can’t keep pretending it doesn’t. There are different degrees of rape now, and I see no reason that we can’t work rape by coercion and fraud into those various categories.

Perhaps you will not successfully prosecute such a rapist on a first degree charge, but could you convict them on a lesser charge? If our laws are modernized and reflect the experiences of all rape victims, couldn’t we start trying to achieve justice rather than sitting around wondering if it’s possible? Could juries be allowed to consider these cases as they come up rather than assuming no charges will stick? Could we start educating judges and lawmakers about fraud and coercion instead of allowing ancient statutes and stereotypes to dictate who gets away with rape?

Obviously the introduction of such education and laws should not be allowed to become a witch hunt. I’m also a firm believer that people need to take responsibility for their actions and to try to avoid situations in which they may be victimized. But there are many seasoned liars out there who prey upon good, successful, giving, and principled people in an effort to fill the bottomless voids inside themselves. They are drawn to people who possess attributes that they don’t, even though they create the illusion that they have much in common with the victim, including the same values.

Through their well-practiced magic routines of smoke and mirrors, they are able to bring victims to the point of sharing themselves body and soul. Then one day their mask slips, or they’re gone, or other partners are found out, and the magnitude of what has been taken from the victim dawns on them. Months later, they may learn just how heavy the baggage is they are holding as the medical, reproductive, psychological, and financial consequences are realized.

Right now, we let these con artists, both male and female, get away with it. We blame the victims, snidely offering such gems as “oh, they should have known better” or “how could they be so naïve?” We deny the power of evil and of the psychopathic mind when we guilt the victim for straying from God’s will rather than acknowledging just how off balance and confused they were kept by their rapist’s mind games. Instead of helping these victims back to a safe place with God and finding them justice, we abandon them to the trials their rapists created and dumped on the victims when they moved on to their next banquet.

Rapists need to be stopped regardless of their form, gender, or modus operandi. While our legal system may not be willing to put rape by fraud or coercion on par with rape by force, we should still make it illegal and provide meaningful consequences for it. Personally I would like the former to be taken just as seriously as the latter given the impact on victims, especially when there are lasting aftereffects as there often are.

It is a horrible, sinking feeling to realize that the person you trusted your whole self to is not who you thought they were, and you would not have gone so far—or allowed them to be part of your life at all—had you known the truth. It is a violation on every level of one’s being. It’s time for our legal system to step up and acknowledge all types of rape victims, as well as prosecute all three types of rapists. Right now some of the most seasoned perpetrators of sexual assault are free to harm victim after victim with no one to stop them, all because they’ve found a way to fly under the radar and achieve their conquests by a more covert means than force.


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. –Confucius

To read more of Heidi Hiatt's writings, please visit her personal blog:

Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie
Straight Talk in a Crooked World

Editor's note:  Here's the text of the actual bill. Here's the text of the new bill.  The blog, Chunky Monkey Mind has several resources listed as well as more information from news sources and other bloggers. This information is provided to give the reader more resources with which to develop their own opinions and in no way expresses the opinions of the author of the above post.

Start By Believing: New Attitudes Towards Sexual Assault

By Roger Canaff

A hard-drinking and genius Senator from New York (Daniel Patrick Moynihan) was fond of saying that everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. When it comes to non-stranger sexual assault (the great majority), Moynihan’s admonition is no less true.  So here are the facts:

1. Most incidents of sexual assault are never reported to police.

2. False reports of sexual assault hover around the rate of all other violent crimes (between 2% and 10%)

3. Most rape is serial rape, meaning most men who commit rape commit more than one (the average is 6).

These are research-based statements, and they have been confirmed in subsequent research efforts.  This is what non-stranger sexual assault looks like, and it’s a plague.  Interestingly, it’s a plague spread by relatively few offenders.  Most men won’t commit what we understand legally to be sexual assault.  They may be immoral, they may be disrespectful, but most are not rapists.  They’ll stop when they recognize signs of fear, revulsion or discomfort on the part of their potential sexual partners (signs, by the way, that really aren’t hard to discern).  If they come across an unconscious or semi-conscious woman (or man), they won’t shimmy the clothes and underwear off of the person and sexually penetrate her or him.

Rapists, on the other hand, do what they do because it’s how they view sex and sexuality.  They usually aren’t “traditional” criminals, meaning they often aren’t tattoo-covered, grinning TV villains.  They don’t wear masks or jump out of bushes; they don’t have to.  Instead they rely on the myths that surround and permeate the notions we as a society have about sexual violence.  They employ remarkable cunning whatever their educational level in order to identify victims, and they usually use alcohol or other intoxicants to ready their playing field.  When they strike, it looks like exactly what they want it to look like- confusion, equivocation, and what some in the media have termed “gray rape.”  It’s almost never a clear-cut, “real” rape.  “Real” rape involves scary looking guys with darker complexions than ours who jump out of bushes and attack complete strangers.  Everything else is…well…a part of the dating ritual.  A rite of passage.  Just desserts for dressing slutty, drinking too much, staying out too late, and for leading on red-blooded American boys.  Because after all, boys will be boys.

Believe that tripe if you will, but you might as well insist the earth is flat.  The reality-based among us understand that things like terror or incapacitation really aren’t that difficult to recognize for most men, and that most men take those cues and back off when they see them.  Nevertheless, the deniers will insist that sex is kind of a game, and testosterone is a funny thing, and ordinarily good guys might sometimes push things too far even though they’re really solid, respectable men at heart.  And of course, the assumption is that ordinarily good gals will sometimes naturally regret sexual liaisons that threaten their reputations and sense of self, and thus naturally “mistake” a consensual act for a nonconsensual one, thus resulting in a call to the police.  Ah, and don’t forget the legions of gold-digging, devil-women who haunt the bars and dance clubs of the world, looking to sting athletes, actors and other celebrities with false charges of sexual violence for the chance at a civil suit payoff or a reality show debut.  It happens all the time.  Right?

No.  It really doesn’t.  No more than “gray” sexual situations involving force and incapacitation regularly produce reports to law enforcement and subsequent dramatic trial dramas.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Most women in clear-cut situations of sexual assault blame themselves and move on, let alone unclear situations where they really can't remember or fully grasp what transpired.  That being said, are people capable of lying about sexual assault?  Of course.  Do they?  Of course.  But is there any reason to believe that most people who allege sexual assault are 1) mistaken, or 2) lying?  No.  There is zero replicable, scientifically based evidence to suggest anything like that, and quite a bit of evidence to the contrary.

That’s where Start By Believing comes from (a disclaimer- I sit on the Board of Directors of End Violence Against Women, International, the group behind the SBB campaign).  SBB is revolutionary, and it should be.  It represents a radical, new look at how we view cases of sexual violence.  The bottom line is that, in the vast majority of cases, there is no reason to doubt the victim making the allegation.  Further, even if one believes the victim, blaming her for “her part” in inviting her victimization is both wrong-headed and counter-productive.

Victims don’t invite rape; they are chosen by rapists who seek them out and recognize them as attractive targets.

A victim is never responsible for what “she did” to bring on a sexual attack.  I’m a lawyer.  I understand that the concept of “contributory negligence” (the idea that the injured person did something to contribute to his injury) is deeply embedded in the Anglo-American psyche.  But that’s not how sexual assault works.  Instead, sexual assault is a planned attack against an identified victim, chosen exactly because the offender figured she either 1) wouldn’t report and/or 2) wouldn’t be believed if she did.  Further, the initial reaction a victim of sexual violence experiences has everything to do with how easily she can relate her own experience to authorities, how effectively she can assist in the case against her attacker, and (most importantly) how quickly she can heal.

SBB is about changing the attitudes of the rest of us- those who will be the person a victim turns to when the unthinkable happens.  If we simply start by believing- not judging, not questioning, not rationalizing- but simply believing, then we will be contributing remarkably to the healing process of the victim and (possibly) to the prevention of further attacks.  In fact, it's not that radical when we break it down.  We look at purse-snatchings this way.  We look at assaults and car theft this way.  When it comes to just about every other crime, we generally start by believing.  There is nothing- absolutely nothing- to lead us in any other direction where sexual violence is concerned.

Take the next step.  For your daughters, your sons, your sisters, your partners, your spouses, your neighbors,  your friends.  The damage being done is incalculable, but so are the rewards when the tide is turned.  It's time.

Roger Canaff,     www.rogercanaff.com

Anti-violence Advocate
Child-protection Specialist
Legal Expert
Board Member, EVAWI

Real Weapons of Mass Destruction

By Lavinia Masters

As a young girl in school I was always taught that a weapon of mass destruction is a weapon that can kill and bring significant harm to a large number of humans (and other life forms) and/or cause great damage to man-made structures (e.g. buildings), natural structures (e.g. mountains), or the biosphere in general. In other words this weapon has the capacity to inflict death and destruction indiscriminately and on a massive scale. However the scope and application of the term has evolved and been disputed, often signifying more politically than technically.

Today I challenge what politics and society consider weapons of mass destruction because in this life I have come to discover a mass of weapons and evil devices that not only destroy the human being but these weapons destroy the human spirit. The weapons that I speak of all leave a devastating and long lasting negative effect on the victims yet they are weapons that seem to not be prioritized by politicians and society today when it comes to seeking and destroying them.

The weapons that I speak of also carry the capacity to inflict death and destruction indiscriminately and on a massive scale and they are sexual abuse/assault, domestic violence, stalking, human trafficking and missing and exploited children. These indeed are all the real weapons of mass destruction. These are heinous and horrendous crimes that happen to the young and old, rich or poor, black or white, male or female. These weapons not only destroy the individual lives and their way of living but they also destroy their families, friends, loved ones and their communities.

Did you know that the impact of sexual abuse on children can be devastating and long-lasting because children are generally victimized by someone they should be able to trust and depend on, they may not realize that the abuse is wrong and not their fault? Even after much time has passed, the effects of sexual abuse are powerful and it has been found that the long-term effects of maltreatment to include poor self-esteem, difficulty trusting others, anxiety, feelings of isolation and stigma, depression, self-destructive tendencies, sexual maladjustment, and substance abuse. In addition to these effects, a survivor of sexual abuse/ assault may develop Rape-related Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (RR-PTSD) and have possible physiological effects such as hyper vigilance (always being "on your guard"), insomnia, exaggerated startle response (jumpiness) ,panic attacks ,eating problems/disorders, self-mutilation (cutting, burning or otherwise hurting oneself),Sexual dysfunction (not being able to perform sexual acts) and hyper arousal (exaggerated feelings/responses to stimuli).

Then there is domestic violence which is the single major cause of injury to women, more significant than auto accidents, rapes, or muggings. In fact, the emotional and psychological abuse inflicted by batterers may be more costly to treat in the short-run than physical injury. Many of the physical injuries sustained by women seem to cause medical difficulties as women grow older and to add insult to injury battered women lose their jobs because of absenteeism due to illness as a result of the violence. Although the long term effects of domestic violence have not begun to be fully documented battered women suffer physical and mental problems as a result of domestic violence. Then it’s sad how survivors of domestic violence seem to often lose family and friends as a result of the battering. Generally because first, the batterer isolates them from family and friends then second, they become embarrassed by the abuse inflicted upon them and withdraw from support persons to avoid embarrassment.

Then there is a weapon that sometimes attacks us all and some are still unaware that they are indeed or have been a victim and that is the weapon of stalking; which is the crime of harassing somebody with persistent, inappropriate, and unwanted attention. Rokkers wrote, "Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwontedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have no relationship (or no longer have)." For the most part, the separate acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse, but taken together they do, as there is a cumulative effect. Stalking leaves a victim unsure or living in the fear of what would happen to them next or afraid that the behavior would not stop not to mention that their stalker would not only cause bodily harm to them but their child or other family member.

Now on the other hand the weapon of human trafficking does not only affect victims, it takes a toll on the child or children of the victim. Many a times, victims strive to survive, even when they do not know the way out to protect their children. Virtually every country in the world is affected by human trafficking, either as a country of origin, transit or destination for victims. Due to the nature of trafficking there are three constituent elements that make up human trafficking, firstly the act; the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harboring or receipt of persons, the means; threat or use of force, coercion, abduction, fraud and abuse of power and the purpose; for the purpose of exploitation, which includes exploiting the prostitution of others, sexual exploitation, forced labor, slavery or similar practices and the removal of organs. One alarming fact about this weapon is that women constitute the largest proportion of trafficked persons and with over half of trafficked victims being women they are the ones forced into sexual slavery and prostitution. The mass of trafficking victims are between 18-24 years of age, with also an estimated 1.2 million children trafficked yearly.

Then the last weapon I want you to consider destroys on such a massive level that it was one of my worst nightmares when I had my son; this weapon attacks like a thief in the night and that is the weapon of missing children. When a child is kidnapped or abducted, he/she is put into captivity against their will. When a person who was missing as a result of abduction is found, they can have adverse psychological effects. Abduction is a very traumatic experience in which the victim has suffered through an emotional and physical ordeal. The experience can be so traumatic it will take time and possibly professional help to assist in coping with it. The sad part about this weapon is that some children are never found and some children when they are found are no longer alive.

So I ask you how can we sit idly by and let these weapons of mass destruction continue to destroy our lives, our families, communities and the world without trying to find a solution. How do we consciously continue to say we love our children, communities and country when we are found lacking in the support of fighting against these heinous crimes? What do our children learn when they see us take the “backseat” to making changes in the laws or legislation when it comes to addressing that we as a society find an end to the real weapons of mass destruction.

You see school may have taught me a lot on how the way things should be defined but life has shown me how life really is. These weapons of mass destruction have been launched all over the world and they are subtly stealing, killing and destroying our world. I ask, are you prepared to fight in this battle…you should be because no one is exempt.

No Good News

By Lavinia Masters

Last night I was reading over the internet and did a recent search on sexual abuse/assault in the news.  During my search I found that in Naperville, Illinois a man was charged in sexual abuse of a young girl, 9 years of age.  The twist to it was that the accused admitted to the police that he had a sexual relationship with the young girl but claimed at one point that the child instigated the conduct. 


Next I read that over in St. Louis County that 2 teenagers were facing 12 charges for attacks on two women.  The story goes that Police say one of the women was in a parked car waiting for her friend at an apartment complex. As the friend walked to the car, two men followed her and robbed both women at gunpoint.  It went onto to say that the men ordered the driver to go to another location, where one woman was raped and the other sexually assaulted.

Then there was the story of an Orange County police officer that has been charged with forcibly sodomizing two women, both of whom he dated briefly.  Jesse Andrew Green, 33, who has been with the Garden Grove Police Department since 2006, is currently on non-paid administrative leave, was apparently in a short-lived relationship with a 41-year-old Santa Ana woman he met online in 2006. In August of that year, he allegedly forcibly sodomized the woman while she screamed and struggled to escape. Green reportedly made threatening statements to scare the victim and left her home.  Then in November 2009, Green met another woman through a mutual friend. During their first date, Green allegedly forcibly sodomized her at his Huntington Beach apartment. The victim, 40, fought him off and was able to escape.

As I forced myself to not become nauseated from all the disturbing allegations of sexual violence in one day, I then found and article that stated that a priest was videotaped having sex with a teen.  It went on to read that a lawsuit was filed because a Berks County couple became suspicious of the Roman Catholic priest who was supposed to be helping their daughter, so they secretly set up a video camera in the basement of their home -- and caught him having sex with the 18-year-old.  Bonilla seduced the girl while she was 17 and a senior at Reading Central Catholic High School, and they had a sexual relationship that led to her giving birth at age 19, the suit says.  It also states that the parents allowed their daughter to meet with the priest for counseling because she had severe mental health issues as a result of prior sexual abuse by another man, the suit says. It says she also suffered from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.


Now I was done.  I could not take any more of the disturbing news that graced the wonderful world that we call the internet.  So much tragedy and destruction left in the lives of so many victims and unfortunately there will be so many more to be occur.  I was convinced that after reading such a widespread of global devastation that sexual violence had indeed become a pandemic.

It is no longer a heinous crime that happens to women for it now happens to girls, men and boys.  Sexual violence does not discriminate between a prostitute and an innocent child.  Nor does it see color or gender.  Sexual Violence has no remorse for an infant that has no idea of what is happening to their bodies or does it cares about the elderly and their possible health issues.  Sexual violence is a hideous monster!

I went back online to search the dictionary for their meaning of sexual violence…the response…no results found.  Figures… because even the world does not have a true meaning or understanding of sexual violence and what it means to a victim.

One of the ways that I would define sexual violence…is a violent life changing, mind altering experience that occurs when another violates a person’s private and intimate space without permission, respect or regard.  The sad part about being violated is when that person is your father, your priest, your neighbor, your friend, your relative or loved one, and yes even a stranger…in other words…the sad part about being violated is just that…sad.

Finally, I completely turned off my computer because I could not take anymore “no good” news from the wonderful world of the internet.  Then it set in…although I may walk away from the news … the occurrences are still happening and sexual violence is still prevalent.  Many victims are yet suffering and many lives are still being destroyed.

Some little girl is afraid to undress in gym class because she is afraid that others will know that her daddy uncovers her nakedness at his discretion.  Then there is that young boy that is confused about his sexuality because Father Joseph told him that the only way to salvation is through him allowing him to violate and sodomize him and that he will burn in the pits of hell if he utters a word to anyone.

 Please let us not forget about the young lady that takes a razor to her flesh because her mind tells her that pain is what she has to accept because of all the abuse she endures and finally there’s the prostitute that walks the streets not only feigning for sex but drugs and alcohol because she is so numb and beat down from her bouts with sexual trauma that she doesn’t even know whether she is coming or going yet alone the true identity of the fathers of her children.

You see sexual violence is beyond traumatic…it is devastating.  Not only in the lives of the victims but those that love and support them.  Sexual violence has to be stopped and sexual violence has to be addressed.  It is a pandemic that we have to face head on and aggressively.  We may turn off our internet and television but we cannot disregard the tragedy that happens in the lives of individuals on a daily basis.


We have to shed our “selfish” coats and armor ourselves with compassion and concern in order to fight for the rights and protection of victims and others.  Sexual Violence should be regarded like AIDS, Breast Cancer, Domestic Violence, or any other devastating or traumatic occurrence because when it affects one… it affects us all.

So let’s end “no good” news today by speaking up and out against sexual violence, reporting abuse or suspected abuse to authorities, funding entities that support sexual violence awareness and programs, rallying Legislation and Law enforcement to change, implement and enforce laws.  Stand up and be counted for because remember… after all sexual violence does not discriminate.

No More Drama!

By Lavinia Masters

Sometimes in order to help others you have to share some of your deepest and darkest secrets about yourself. Even if they didn’t start out or intended to be secrets. Sometimes they are the very things that we are all afraid of…some of our darkest fears. Those very things that you once figured that if anyone would ever find out that it would not only humiliate and embarrass you but possibly discredit your image and character forever. An image that you tried so hard to keep respected in the public eye and a character that you maintained to appear to be more “precious” than rubies to all.   

You fear these secrets because they take you to a too familiar place…the unknown. In your heart you figure that if one word about your past behaviors is uttered that you would be totally ashamed. If others really knew how you carried yourself in certain situations or some of the thoughts that you had when you were out of “touch” then others would definitely look at you differently. You worked hard to be that woman in Proverbs 31; that virtuous one or that righteous man in Psalms 37:30…now you have to maintain.

How can you consciously handle people smiling in your face and laughing and talking behind your back? It shouldn’t even be an afterthought when we begin to realize that people will begin to do this without knowing your secrets. Those very same people that “gawk” at our past hold some very dark and dirty secrets themselves. No one is perfect. Even though some secrets are not even our burdens to bear because we had no control over what transpired in the first place.

Unfortunately we all have skeletons in our closets. Skeletons that we oftentimes try to bury so deep that they turn into demons that later come back to terrorize and haunt us. These once hidden secrets turned demons can prevent us from moving forward in your lives mentally, psychologically, spiritually and sometimes even physically. It is almost too late before you realize that you are living a life that is only a shell of your true being. You are a figment of your own imagination. You are living a lie.

Although it is sometimes hard to comprehend at first you finally understand that it is a reality. Sometimes when we hoard or try to conceal our secrets of our past we begin to deceive ourselves and others. We find ourselves beginning to lie through our everyday speech and actions just to save our image. We continue to cover up and withhold truths about ourselves and portray someone or some being that is not real. The very secrets that have haunted us for so long, the ones that humiliated us can ultimately overcome and destroy us. Now I can almost understand why the Bible says “that a liar will not tarry in Gods’ sight” or in other words He will not tolerate nor accept one…a liar. For we are not even being honest with ourselves and others so how can we expect to be honest with God?

I had a secret. A secret that was so dirty and so shameful that I just knew that I had it etched into my forehead. A secret that I did not even have a reason to conceal but I did. A secret that was caused by another but it only seemed to directly affect me. I carried the guilt. I carried the shame and ultimately I began to live a lie. This secret turned into one of my most challenging demons even though the offense was against me. Pretending to be ok when I was not… was a lie. Laughing and smiling on the outside while tears drowned my heart and soul on the inside was miserable.

I lived a life of lies and deception for so long that I not only began to hate myself but others. I would sometimes scream to the top of my lungs because I wanted so bad for the real me to emerge. However I was too shameful and the pain and agony of my secret cut deep like a knife. I hated that I could no longer express my true feelings by words or trust in others like I use to do. The beautiful smile, the winning personality and the manner able young lady was all a cover up.

I was angry and I was bitter. I despised people… especially men. I hated everyone I knew and because I was damaged by another it was my goal to hurt those that crossed up my path. My life here on earth and my very existence was in question daily and I was damaged goods. Yes, I lived a lie and I was a liar and alone I dwelled because no one wants to knowingly join crazy in a crazy world.

I carried a demon of malice from childhood to adulthood and because I allowed myself to wallow in my sorrows for so long my heart had become calloused. I crippled my own self. I lived in pity; I lived in a world of confusion. You could speak English clearly and it would all translate into Swahili to me. What was normal to me was abnormal to all and what was normal to others was totally idiotic to me.

The state that I was in was all because of the shameful secret of sexual assault that turned demonic but by the grace of God I finally decided that the day has come that I declare no more drama in my life.

Pay it Forward

By Michelle Simonsen

It was a sub-zero night in January, 1992.  I was 18 and ready to have some beers with my friends on a Saturday night before school resumed for the second semester.  I remember feeling safe and happy with my friends before we wandered through the frozen tundra looking for the next party.

In a few hours I would be raped.  By one of my “friends”.

After the party, we came back together and hung out in a friend’s dorm room.  I had way too many beers and was feeling really groggy and sleepy.  I crashed on the bottom bunk of my friend’s bed.  I wasn’t worried.  Every single person in that room was my friend and I trusted them.  Later I heard someone say, “Will someone take her down to her room?”  “Jim” responded that he would and then carried me over his shoulder down a flight of stairs to my room. 

That was the last thing I remember.

I was dreaming about my boyfriend who was 2,000 miles away in Marine boot camp.  When I opened my eyes and the hazy fog cleared, I realized my boyfriend was not in my bed.  It was my “friend” Jim.  I didn’t have to ask any questions.  I knew what he had done to me.  I started crying hysterically.  Jim said nothing to me.  He just walked out and I never spoke to him again.  I also never confided to any of my friends or tried to call the police.  I knew what happened to the girls who tried to press rape charges on campus.  They never won, because the system forced them to walk away.  They were shamed.  They didn’t know how to reach out to others just as I didn’t.

I spent the rest of my college years spiteful, defensive and angry. I used to think that moment was the worst thing that has ever happened to me.  Somehow I took a negative and turned it into a positive.  I hope to continue paying it forward in my quest for helping others who have been victimized. 

If you too are a victim, consider taking that negative you are holding in your heart and reach out to others.  You’ll never know how good it feels when you say, “I know exactly how you feel.”

What Is Justice……

By Lavinia Masters

What is the true meaning of justice and how is it really defined? The dictionary states that justice is the quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness: to uphold the justice of a cause or the administering of deserved punishment or reward. In regards to our justice system the courts like to display the symbol of “Lady Justice”, the Roman Goddess of justice, most often depicted with a set of scales typically suspended from her left hand, upon which she measures the strengths of a case's support and opposition. She is also often seen carrying a double-edged sword in her right hand, symbolizing the power of Reason and Justice, which may be wielded either for or against any party. Finally she is also shown wearing blindfolds which is done in order to indicate that justice is (or should be) meted out objectively, without fear or favor, regardless of identity, money, power, or weakness: blind justice and blind impartiality. But I ask you… is this always the case?

I recently listened to the news of Pro Football Hall of Famer, Lawrence Taylor being indicted by the grand jury in New York on the charges of third degree rape and patronizing a prostitute and I went numb. Then remembering back just a few months ago, in March I believe, there was another pro football player, Ben Roethlisberger, which was accused for the second time in less than a year of a sexual assault of a young lady in a night club but for some reason, that is still unclear to me, the DA dropped the charges due to insufficient evidence however at that time I was livid.

Being an advocate and survivor of sexual assault you have a tendency to want to see all rapists suffer for the crimes against innocent victims but there are times in this walk that you question your purpose and the fight. Although I have never been a fan of football or any other sport for that matter I have been intrigued to follow the behavior and the actions of some of these “star athletes” and the power that their money and fame gives them. Here we have two athletes brought up on the same charges just months apart and one gets indicted and faces up to 4 years in prison while the other walks away only with suspension and resumes his position and status as a star football player….hmmm…so I ask the question again…what is justice and how is it defined?

I wrestled with each case over and over again and my spirit was not only restless but my heart was in despair. You see I am one that thinks about the victim in these situations and all the pain and suffering that they have to endure as those that “have” or are of the “elite” are allowed to use and abuse them and still walk away with their pride and dignity because they are sorry that they got caught! Yet still in the comparing these two cases I could not rest.

At first I thought maybe because Lawrence or “L.T.” is an ex pro football player or a “has been” pro line backer according to today’s society while Ben or “Big Ben” is still playing and considered one of Americas greatest football quarterbacks; as the reason their cases were handled differently. Then there is the issue of Lawrence being caught in New York where they possibly punish athletes harsher for sex crimes versus the state of Georgia where Ben was accused. However maybe it was the whole idea that Lawrence smeared the image of his football career long ago when he was caught using and imprisoned for drugs charges because Ben was only accused of sexual assault before in Nevada but it never materialized. Wait! I got it… the young lady that Lawrence got involved with was underage and the young women that Ben was accused by were old enough to know what they were doing!

I hope as you are reading this you detect my sarcasm and frustration as I am disturbed that after all we do as advocates as far as speaking out against rape and abuse, changing and enforcing laws, lobbying legislation and supporting survivors all with blood, sweat and tears we are continuously let down by our “Lady Justice”. It seems that her scales that are meant to measure the strength of a case’s support and opposition is always off balance…her sword that is suppose to symbolize power of reason and justice must be hollow and made of aluminum because it is dull and has no power…and the blindfolds that cover her eyes to make justice blind or impartial regardless of identity, money, power, or weakness should be removed because maybe then she will be able to see true justice and just how unfair she has really been.

Just because I am not a fan of football or sports it does not make me a hater of atheletes. There have been some stellar athletes with stellar backgrounds and character and they should be commended. However when you have athletes that cross the line of being a “role model” for some… to a monster to others…I have a strong concern and the message that should be conveyed to them that these type of behaviors will not be tolerated should be expressed equally and fairly across the board and from state to state. No one is or should be any greater or less than when it comes to sexual assault. The trauma that sexual assault brings a victim is the same for all and the due process and punishment phase that comes to accuser should be equally so.

I pray for all these young women that have suffered at the hands of our “elite” athletes in America. I pray that they can begin to heal and restore their lives after such trauma. I do not care if you are a prostitute, an alcoholic, drug abuser, run away, or a young woman in the wrong place at the wrong time…that does not give anyone the right to violate or assault you. You are still a human being and you still have the right to say “No” no matter your circumstance and you should not have to feel that because someone is of a fortune or fame status that they are above you or the law and can do whatever and whenever they want to you and get away with it. Unfortunately our “Lady Justice” continues to send these mixed messages and as long as she does I have decided not to lose heart or faint but I will press on until I find the true meaning of justice because in my heart I know what it is or at least what it should be.

Buyer Beware!

By Sheryl McCollum

Former New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor (LT) was lied to by an underage hooker!  This is shocking.  What is the world coming to when a pimp will miss lead a John over a $300 sex job.  I am disgusted that a married man with three daughters can’t slip into a hotel with a hooker – have his manly needs met and go to sleep without begin harassed by the police for not knowing her age. Everyone knows that black eyes make you look older. 

He risked diseases, having his reputation tarnished as well as that pesky adultery thing brought up.  This was a simple business transaction – not the crime of the century.  The pimp may have needed to persuade the teenage hooker to perform sex acts by beating her before taking her to Taylors hotel room – nothing personal just business.  

The hooker was a runaway.  The pimp gave her a place to stay for only $150 a week as well as a job.  These men were helping her.  She was beginning trained in the oldest profession.  How many young girls dream of becoming a big city hooker?  This is a real life “Pretty Women”.  

Lawrence Taylor went out of his way to help this young hooker.  He found a pimp.  Arranged a deal on a certain date, time and location.  He left his house in order to meet the pimp and hooker on time.  He paid for a hotel room in the state he lives in.  This was more than a $300 deal for him.  Then to think he was lied to by a criminal that he sought out, a criminal that he gave money to in good faith.  He had to have sex with a very young beat up hooker.  This couldn’t have been what he wanted.  

Sad to think after beating cocaine addiction and other demons LT is facing rape charges.  He is suffering other negative effects such as Nutrisystem, the weight loss company, announced Friday that it is cutting ties with Taylor, who had been one of its spokesmen.

His bond is $75,000.  He is losing endorsements.  The fact remains that she took the cash and gave it to her pimp and Lord knows what she was wearing.  She went to his hotel room he did not go to her.  How is this his fault?  

The world has gone to hell when a married man with three daughters can’t buy an underage piece of ass without facing prison time!

Buyer Beware!