Victim Impact Statements: Isn’t it Time for a Little Creativity and Personalization?

by Donna R. Gore, M.A.

Typical Sample [Compliments of crimevictimservicecenter.org – Kennewick, WA]

The crime committed against me by John Doe has hurt me in so many ways that I don’t know where to begin.

My friends and co-workers have mentioned to me that my demeanor and behavior has changed at work and during social activities. I am currently experiencing flashbacks of the event and suffer from nightmares and lack of sleep. I constantly replay the day of the crime over and over in my head. I had to describe the day of the crime to the detective, then to the prosecuting attorney, then to the defense attorney, and to an investigator. Having to repeat the events of the incident over and over again was stressful and tried my patience. It became harder and harder to answer their questions or even tell my story again. I had to miss work, show up to work late, and leave work early due to the stress I was experiencing. I am in counseling because I am stressed, anxious, hypersensitive, and have suicidal thoughts. I wish this had never happened and I want it over as soon as possible, but I know my paranoia will never go away.

This crime has hurt my family too. My mother also suffers from insomnia and anxiety due to the crime. We live in a small town and everyone has heard about the crime. My father almost lost his job because he has had to attend court with me. I can’t escape the questions from friends of the family. Naturally, everyone is concerned for my family and me, but not being able to escape the incident kills me. It is just another constant reminder that John Doe committed a crime against my family and me.

I have friends telling me that they ran into John Doe and that she/he says they’re sorry. I wish she/he would stop communicating to me through our mutual friends. When I hear that people have run into her/him my heart races, I have shortness of breath, and start to feel dizzy.

I’m constantly asking God why? Why me, why my family? What did I do to deserve this?

I’m worried what John Doe might do after she/he gets out. I want her/him to get help because this isn’t the first time this crime has been committed and that she/he’d been sorry. I don’t want John Doe to hurt me or anyone else. I want to be protected from John Doe forever.

...end...

In 1987, Ladyjustice’s victim impact statement would not have won the Pulitzer Prize for journalism….But, it was from the heart. Looking back now, I could have crafted something different…if the emotions hadn’t gotten in the way. And that is the point. Having emotions interjected into the narrative and/or verbal presentation is a double-edged sword… On the one hand, the judge, the attorneys, the defendant and the families need to hear the emotion to understand and to validate the tremendously negative changes in their quality of life and the realities of the situation in terms of the human toll.

On the other hand, emotion can overtake the speaker, especially when in very close proximity to the defendant. As a survivor, you want your day in court. It’s your special time to relate just how devastating the entire experience has been.

Currently in Connecticut, Victim Services open approximately 13,000 new cases annually, assist 14,000 with victim impact statements and accompany over 15,000 victims to court.

In 1987, six years after the murder, Ladyjustice and her mother each took turns and related individual impact statements directly to the presiding judge. Some people choose to “challenge” the defendant to make eye contact in an attempt to “show immediate respect.” Fat chance! This blogger didn’t even bother with that request!

Rather, I was mentally focused on how not to relinquish power to this serial murderer; not to give in to fear of retaliation; not to feel that you must look over your shoulder the rest of your life if you say this or that for fear of triggering a response… One cannot live life in fear, no matter what has been taken away! For if you do, the perpetrator has won.

He has the power!

Internet research revealed minimal information or samples of victim impact statements for general public consumption. There are no standard templates. However, the most basic of guidelines furnished by the Crime Victim Services Center in Washington State recommend discussion of the following general topics: ‘With a couple of my suggestions thrown in…

1) How the perpetrator’s criminal behavior has effected the victim(s) physically, emotionally and financially;

2) Discuss any concerns regarding personal safety and security;

3) “Provide suggestions for a resolution that is fair, that will give the offender the opportunity to take responsibility for actions that caused loss or harm.”

[ Surely you jest if you are talking about felony charges. Taking responsibility – What’s that? And…. how do you spell pre-determined plea bargain?? ]

More specifically, other factors to contemplate when composing your impact statement –

1) How have your feelings changed about life in general, your lifestyle; your ability to relate to others, your ability to cope and need for support or counseling?

2) If you have sustained physical injuries, what were they and how long did they last? Are they continuing? How have your injuries impacted your ability to perform everyday tasks and recreational activities?

The “Aftermath” Questions

What about your ability to:

1) Maintain your general health;

2) Eat, sleep, concentrate;

3) Have other ailments “appeared out of the blue?”

4) Have your relationships with family members, co-workers and “society in general” changed?

5) Are you unable to trust others now?

6) Do you feel a sense of intimacy with your significant other?

7) What changes have occurred with your employer? Are they flexible in allowing you to attend court appearances, counseling and medical appointments?

8) What is your financial status currently?

9) Are you able to be productive?

10) Do you have hope for the future?

The above list is certainly not all inclusive…but rather covers the general landscape.

A Word of Two from …..The National Center for Victims of Crime

In addition, results of the National Center for Victims of Crime’s public opinion poll also revealed that 55% of Americans feel that sentences handed down to criminals by the court are too lenient.

Perhaps this is why seven out of 10 Americans believe that it is very important for the judicial system to provide victims and their families with “…an opportunity to make a statement prior to the sentencing of the offender about how the crime has affected them.”

In essence, for the court to impose fair and just sentences, it is critical that information be provided to the sentencing and paroling authorities on the emotional, financial and physical impact of crime – information that only victims can accurately define and provide through the use of victim impact statements.

Clearly the criminal justice system is ready, as is the American public, for the permanent infusion of victim impact statements into the justice process. We must now make the use of victim impact statements functional and consistent within the criminal justice system.

Comprehensive guidelines, protocol and model victim impact statement instruments must be drafted that address the needs of both the justice system and the victim. Victims must be systematically and consistently made aware of their right to submit victim impact statements and the statement’s application within the system. To accomplish this goal, each criminal justice agency that has contact with crime victims must have comprehensive agency guidelines and protocol that outline the roles and responsibilities of each staff member in the notification, distribution, collection and application of the victim impact statements.

Making a Case for Specialized Victim Impact Statements

Approximately a year ago, this author had a “brainstorming” idea to offer a service to future victims of crime regarding the creation of individually tailored victim impact statements for the following reasons:

1) Not everyone is a wordsmith nor are they able to express their thoughts and feelings in writing (even before the crime occurred);

2) The emotional impact of the experience including recounting the events, facing the defendant and his supporters, the finality of the process; the outcome of the verdict; the absence of their loved one. can incapacitate a victim and not allow him or her to complete their presentation. [ Of course there are options such as mailing letters to the judge, allowing another relative or the prosecutor to read etc…. However, it is sometimes a poor substitute and the impact may not be experienced in the same way]

3) If the victim is capable of sharing his/her private thoughts and feelings with an Advocate who is also a skilled writer, the burden is lessened. If such a writer were to create a series of questions specifically designed to elicit information to portray the deceased person in a way that honors them and is meaningful to the family… How Wonderful!

4) The possibility of a videotaped presentation or a video memorial tribute could go a long way in helping the judge to understand the enormity of their loss.

Currently no specific companies specializing in videotaped victim impact statements could be located via internet search. What a shame….

The problem.. and the beauty of this idea is that people are not “one size fits all” and therefore victim impact statements should not be mass produced as in a “sausage factory.” They are too personal…too important.

The words potentially have the power to alter sentencing!

But, who would provide the service? Who would fund it? Who would keep track of the data comparing customized statements to those that are essentially “fill in the blank essays”? Could this idea come to fruition? Why not?

Heed the advice of the National Center for Victims of Crime. Do not let victim impact statements become an afterthought!

I welcome other input concerning this idea. Until then, Thorence Brey features a series of videotaped Victim Impact Statements for your viewing interest at:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xkikdy_victim-impact-statements-thorance-brey_news

To read more about Donna R. Gore and learn more about "LadyJustice," refer to her website: www.donnagore.com Donna is the host of SHATTERED LIVES each Saturday at 5ET.

Mary Fetchet – A 9/11 Voice Extraordinaire

By Donna R. Gore, M.A. "LadyJustice"

Prelude to a crusader: Musical link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xuVHgz1tJk

Please listen to Dame Shirley Bassey “You’ll Never Walk Alone” (2 min, 24 sec)

Much has been written about 9/11. Although Ladyjustice is a confident writer after all of these years, even as a homicide survivor, how does anyone do justice to such an event? ‘Nearly impossible! There have been numerous memorials in every state, dedications, fundraisers, media tributes and movies as well as personal gestures from young and old alike.

Amid considerable tears, LJ watched the 10 year anniversary television coverage on a recent Sunday and was witness to the spectacular, well planned and executed Ground Zero Memorial. This site was indeed awe producing, an environment that was inviting and personally serene as well. Can’t wait to order my ticket and attend before the winter snow flies….

For all of the cynical blog comments noted, including, “F----- it, Move on…” this blogger states unequivocally that you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us… You are self-centered, selfish and totally devoid of compassion! You will never, ever understand homicide…unless you experience it up close and personal! But… on to others much more deserving of ink…..

Mary and Frank Fetchet are a couple living in Fairfield County Connecticut (on the doorstep of New York City.) They happened to have a son Brad, 24 years old, who was working in the World Trade Center Towers on that fateful day. Brad left a reassuring phone message for his mother stating essentially that…”I’m fine… Don’t worry. We’re in the other tower. They may even let us out of work early.”

How wrong he was…. Brad’s father, Frank stated that at the time, he felt confident that as his son was “innovative and streetwise” he would probably find his way out. He did not…. He perished with many others.

In Ladyjustice’s opinion, the best account ever that encompasses all aspects of 9/11 with a tremendous amount of information is the former Court TV 2005 documentary called, “On Native Soil.” This work is an engrossing, touching and shocking journalistic film told from many perspectives. It provides the viewer a courageous example what homicide survivors are capable of when given the will and determination. The fact that a small group of surviving families collectively “turned the government tide” and overrode Congress and the wishes of President Bush is truly unprecedented!

The primary force behind this tremendous feat was social worker and mother of Brad Fetchet, Ms. Mary Fetchet. The “Voices of 9/11” was created by a small group of Fairfield County, Connecticut and New York surviving families after the terrorist bombings and became recognized as the premier organization addressing the ongoing needs of family members of nearly 3,000 murder victims, rescue workers, and survivors whose focus is prevention, preparedness and response related to terrorism.

The Critical Time:
The end of 2001 and 2002 was the critical time in which survivors came together for very important reasons: to find answers; to hold those responsible accountable; to improve the status quo; to seek comfort and to memorialize their loved ones in a meaningful way.

According to detailed information offered in On Native Soil,” the quest for answers was indeed a bumpy road. Congress had oversight of governmental agencies such as the CIA, the FBI and the FAA. All of these agencies, as well as the Bush and Clinton Administrations “passed the buck,” dropped the ball” and failed miserably!

On June 2, 2002, the families representing 9/11 victims were denied a Federal investigation. The 9/11 families were shocked and appalled to say the least. As Mary Fetchet put it, “I was naïve enough to believe that people would do the right thing.” Following the denial, Senators Joe Lieberman (D- CT) and John McCain (R- AZ) introduced a resolution to Congress. It failed… After an all night vigil, family members, “faced down” President Bush’s Assistant for Legislative Affairs, Nick Calio. Calio approached the President and told him despite Washington’s opposition, fearing what would be uncovered, they had no choice but to ‘give in to their demands.” There were 12 public hearings within a 16 month period. The failures and incompetencies revealed as one views “On Native Soil” were absolutely unbelievable!

The consensus among surviving families was that there was frequent lack of cooperation with Committee member’s questions, stonewalling, and a total lack of responsibility or accountability. “I’ll have to get back to you on that”; ”I wasn’t in charge when “X” occurred,” were typical responses. And one of the few tangible accomplishments three years later when the final report was issued, included a new government position known as the “Director of National Intelligence.” Next were the tasks of creating legislation from the recommendations and implementing them for the benefit of the masses and future generations. This is still a work in progress.

Mary Fetchet: The Person; the Director and her Accomplishments

 

 Mary Fetchet, LCSW Founding Director - Voices of September 11th

Mary Fetchet is the Founding Director and driving force behind VOICES of September 11th. A professional social worker and former educator, Ms. Fetchet co-founded the 9/11 advocacy organization following the death of her 24-year-old son, Brad, in the attacks on the World Trade Center.

Ms. Fetchet's mission: to create an organization that addresses the ongoing needs of families of the nearly 3,000 victims, rescue workers and survivors while promoting awareness for prevention, preparedness and response related to terrorism. Her firsthand experience as a social worker and victims’ advocate has uniquely influenced the evolution of VOICES in creating programs that anticipate the long-term, intergenerational needs of 9/11 families and survivors.

Headquartered in New Canaan, CT. with a recently opened second office in New Brunswick, N.J., VOICES is a grass roots family advocacy group providing support and navigating complicated political systems for over 11,000 members. The international organization serves as a clearinghouse of information for 9/11-related issues, offers links to related resources and provides an expanding range of services. Programs include: support groups, lectures, Day of Remembrance events and forums as well as outreach to all those affected by the events of September 11th.
Providing Information, Outreach and Programs

VOICES experienced staff provide information, outreach and programs on the many aspects of post-9/11 life, with a particular focus on helping 9/11 families, survivors, rescue and recovery workers and others affected by fostering resiliency through family-based mental health programs.

In September, 2006 VOICES launched the 9/11 Living Memorial Project, a digital archive commemorating the lives of the nearly 3,000 lost at the Pentagon, Shanksville, PA and the World Trade Center site and documenting the first hand accounts of rescue workers and survivors.

VOICES professional staff has conducted hundreds of workshops throughout the United States and met one-on-one with over 800 families to create a meaningful tribute to their loved ones.

The 9/11 Living Memorial Project has grown to an extensive collection of over 30,000 photographs, written materials and personal keepsakes shared by those impacted that tell a meaningful story that will preserve the stories of 9/11 for future generations.

Ms. Fetchet has achieved significant local and national praise for her advocacy work. A strong advocate for raising national and local preparedness, Ms. Fetchet campaigned for the creation of the independent 9/11 Commission and continues to promote the implementation of the Commission's recommendations for government reforms. She has testified before the 9/11 Commission, and before the United States Senate and House of Representatives on five occasions. She has made countless appearances on national television programs, and frequently contributes to print and radio news media.

Ms. Fetchet has served on a number of advisory boards and organizations including: The Family Steering Committee for the 9/11 Independent Commission, the National Homeland Defense Foundation, the National Traumatic Stress Network, the Coalition of 9/11 Families, the Family Advisory Committee of the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation (LMDC), Columbia’s WTC Evacuation Study as well as the Homeland Security Advisory Council's Homeland Security Alert System Task Force.

Ms. Fetchet's work has brought her substantial recognition that includes being a recipient of the National Justice Award in 2003 and being presented with the 'Connecticut Hero' award by Senator Joseph Lieberman in September 2004. She was also named an ABC News Person of the Year in December 2004. Other honors include a 2005 Red Cross Award, a 2005 Rotary Foundation Paul Harris Fellowship, and a 2006 "Connecticut's Most Uncommon Women" award. A graduate of Columbia University with an M.S. degree,

Ms. Fetchet worked as a clinical social worker at Bridges, an outpatient mental health clinic in Milford, CT. She lives in New Canaan with her husband Frank, and has two surviving sons, Chris, age 22, and Wes, age 29.

Mary is a tireless advocate for all 9/11 families. To use a familiar comparison to many readers, she is the “Susan Murphy Milano” representative for surviving families suffering from the most horrendous terrorist event in history. She carries the torch for all survivors…. Ladyjustice knows very well that government operates by its own rules, is steeped in bureaucracy, often for no good reason, other than “tradition,” creates its own problems and is often quite disillusioning to the average person. [‘Just like the criminal justice system!] Are we not surprised that it takes sane and reasonable people so long to recover, not only from their tragedies… but by adding insult to injury when forced to deal with the endless frustrations and obstacles encountered by all of these entities?

We are so proud of you , Mary!

Opportunities….
To view a wonderful video   “Voices of  9/11  A Take Part Short Film,” go to link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zyuaeiY1aU.
To visit their website and donate: please go to: http://www.voicesofseptember11.org/dev/index.php
To purchase a copy of “On Native Soil,” go to:
http://www.amazon.com/Native-Soil-Kevin-Costner/dp/B000FWHW7C

To read more of Donna Gore's posts, and learn more about "LadyJustice," refer to her website: www.donnagore.com

You Are Not a Victim ! A ticked-off Advocate Speaks Her Mind About Victimization

 By Pamela Chapman

While in the past few weeks I have decided to no longer do business as I have in the past, I have also told myself that I would no longer mince my words or pussyfoot around with people’s lives. This is not to say that I have in the past; however, when you blog, have a website or comment on Facebook, when you are in the limelight, you feel obligated to be sensitive, polite and politically correct. You believe you shouldn’t offend your audience.

However, if anyone reading this piece were to interview some of my ex-clients (I am so humbly proud to say ex) they would say at some time or another I pissed them off.

They’d probably easily remember me getting under their skin. They’d recall how we yelled back and forth at one another and talked over each other. Some would tell you they phoned my boss at the OCRM to report me for not giving them all the tools, gifts or entitlements they believed they needed. Or, as one of my favorite clients, who is now a friend, did—called my boss because the case manager whom I replaced promised to take care of her and her family and I said, “bull!”

I personally didn’t give a rat’s you-know-what about the promises made to her. I was looking at an intelligent, beautiful young woman who had everything going for her; but, instead she was perfectly comfortable going from one program to another believing that was all she was worthy of having and doing.

It wasn’t the only time that I made her angry. I also made her angry when she told me she was intentionally choosing to make the same stupid decision, over and over again. That was seeking out abusive mates. Well, she didn’t exactly put it that way. After me telling her I was going to pray and declare that she would no longer have any desire for the loser guys she was picking, she kind of said, (paraphrased) “I don’t want you to pray for me because I enjoy my [irrational, absurd, stupid] behavior.”  Adjectives added by yours truly. She stomped off and refused to connect with me for her weekly accountability sessions. I, honestly, saw through her pain and her hurt and knew her words were just that— words. But also honestly, I had far too many cases to manage and didn’t feel it my personal responsibility to track her down. But, this I knew. I had prayed and either she’d get mad and drop off my case load or she’d get mad and move her life forward.

Several weeks later, I received a call. “Can we meet?” She had come to the crazy conclusion that she was good enough, worthy enough (even though these weren’t her words) and believed my prayers for her had helped her lose desire to pursue or be pursued by the losers of her past. “What the $%@! did you do?” she questioned as soon as I was seated across from her.

I laughed. I had messed up her world.

You see, I believe as long as we coddle clients, patients and loved ones—as long as we allow them to be victims of abuse and life, we not only permit but perpetuate their behavior and enable them to be poor, weak, disempowered individuals (whether women or men) believing they are unworthy of anything better, living their pathetic lives as such.

It has been said that people like me, people with my belief “mess other people up.” Well, you know something. Good! If messing them up will cause them to get up of their glorious asses and do something different—Good! My success record, my rate of recidivism speaks for itself.

I do not believe a woman or a man has to cycle six, seven or ten times and/or get their brains beat out before they can find the power to leave. I do not believe they have to have money to leave. I do not even believe they have to enter an agency shelter. However, I believe they do have to first believe in themselves: that they are WORTHY and they are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made by an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God.

I do believe they must find a strong and powerful support system—someone who has been through it to help them walk though it and out of it. Not someone who talks about it, has studied it or read about it; but, someone who has lived their hell. They have to find someone like a Susan Murphy Milano, Anny Jacoby, or I—someone who has not only survived but has over-come and beat all odds and is willing to walk with them, strengthen their soul, and feed their spirit. Someone who can show them how while they work and fight with everything in their own personal God power to get the hell out of their degrading, humiliating and pitiful situation.

Victim? No you are not! Your situations and/or experiences do not make you. The same as your occupation, career or where you live does not make you. If you are in an undesirable situation, you are simply an individual, male or female, who is going through a challenging life transition—possibly horrendously challenging. You may have forgotten who and what you are. Life has possibly dealt you a hard blow or two; maybe even several probably starting with childhood, and you have come to believe these illusions and shadows are you and what you are. Not so!

I won’t pat your little head or rub your bended back. I’m not going to let you feel sorry for yourself. Nor am I going to let you believe you’re entitled to anything. I’m not going to blame you either and say it’s your fault. Whose fault it is doesn’t matter. But this is what I am going to do. I’m going to teach you that you are somebody. You are someone very, very special. I am going to help you understand you are here for a very powerful and specific purpose. I will prove to you that you are worthy and go on to show you there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

If you wait for someone to empower you, you will be waiting until your hell freezes over. And, it won’t freeze! It won’t stand still. The only way for the abuse, humiliation and dread to end is to make an empowered decision to do something for you. And, when you’re tired and weary, know that you can do all things and every thing through Christ Jesus who is your strength. Listen, He will never leave you or forsake you. You know why? You are in Him and He is in You so you can’t leave one another.

And when someone tells you, you have to be a victim or it’s okay to be a victim or there is nothing you can do or, or, or, or…..you stand with your shoulders back and say, “I AM More than a Conquer—I AM an Over-comer. I AM a VICTOR.”

Empowering yourself requires action. Learn to protect yourself. Learn to take care of yourself. Learn to depend on no one but yourself. (I personally would include God in the equation I don’t care what agencies say.) Want to know why and how I can be so adamant and arrogant, so bold and audacious with my words?

Here’s three reasons why:

• This 5’3, 105 pound (back in the day) black girl who grew up in the South Bronx, who got pregnant at 20 and then found herself lonely, poor and disempowered one day went down to social services and they, the government, told me to go home and get pregnant. I made too much money. Six-hundred dollars a month was too much money. That’s when I got ticked and waged a war.

• When I was thirty-something and my five-foot obnoxious boss in L.A. told me I’d never be anything or get anywhere because I wasn’t political, that’s when I got ticked, again, and waged a war.

• And, when my alcoholic, emotionally abusive husband of seventeen years (the man I had washed dirty underwear, cooked, cleaned and shopped for while working 10 hours a day) told me he’d choose his bottle over me any day that’s when I really got pissed and waged a war.

This is what makes me an expert. I’ve lived it and have come through it miraculously and triumphantly. These are only a few of my personal battles. You see every time, a person, a situation, or a challenge attempted to destroy me, I’d resurrect twice as tall and strong and overcome it. When someone told me I couldn’t or shouldn’t, I said, “Bet your ass I will,” and I did.

I have made a well-thought, educated decision to not pursue my purpose the same way I have in the past years as I said in opening. But, I promise you I am not a victim and neither are you.  I will continue to speak out, and continue to speak life into what has been pronounced dead. I will continue to encourage and motivate women to empower themselves. I will continue to speak against disingenuous, disempowering, disabling systems that continue to perpetuate weakness and victimization. I will continue to expose the shams and the imposters. I’ll do it, and I will do it in the strength and in the might of Jesus and our Almighty God. I won’t do it in anger, but I’ll do it in love because love conquers all!  

I dare to say that the women and families that I’ve assisted would add this: that when they decided to love themselves, I loved them more. When they decided to take a step for themselves, I took two. When they decided they were sick and tired and weren’t going to take it any more, I was right there beside them just as pissed and ticked as they were—ready to fight as an advocate, a voice, a partner, a friend. Most of these same women and families, I am proud to say, continue to make great strides and accomplishments today.

You are not a victim! You are Victorious.

I hope I’ve pissed you off. And if I have, just like I heard in my own heart one afternoon while on my knees crying, belly aching and vomiting all over God, “Get up and do something! I gave you the power” Make a declaration, make a phone call, set an intention, make a plan, pack your bags…but crying out loud DO something!

In love, light and healing

Pamela Chapman, CTACC, CDVS

Open Court

By Heidi Hiatt

Those who’ve read my article on police records might be interested to check out an experiment in Massachusetts called OpenCourt. Here’s an explanation of it from their site:

OpenCourt is an experimental project run by WBUR, Boston’s NPR news station, that uses digital technology to make Quincy District Court more accessible to the public. Anyone with an internet connection will be able to see and hear what goes on in court.


I have no doubt that this concept will spread and it will be deemed a success by open government advocates. On the surface, it sounds like a decent use of modern technology that will contribute to government transparency.

Yes, I have some questions about and issues with this. I’m already on the record as a proponent of open government, but not at the expense of people’s privacy. Yes, I’ve heard it all, “there is no right to privacy,” “the Internet killed privacy,” and so on. But if we weren’t concerned about privacy, then government agencies wouldn’t be advising people to take steps against identity theft or try to keep crime victims and children safe.

My first concern is that victims and witnesses may have to go before a camera. It is true that the public can already sit in on many courtroom proceedings. But this is different because not only does it capture images and intimate details of proceedings, but it puts it on the world wide web. We bloggers know– once on the web, always on the web.

Second, this is what I mean about the distinction being victims and suspects being blurred. Subjecting both to video that goes on the web means they are being treated equally. Are projects like this going to blur out a victim’s likeness or distort their voice? Probably not, given that these broadcasts are streaming live.
While written court records are very open, allowing anyone access to video of victims is disturbing. The way our justice system handles records can victimize innocent parties a second or third time. Not only does a victim, witness, or complainant have to come forward a first time to report a crime or be interviewed, they may be investigated, have to testify against the suspect, seek a protection order against them, or have personal details of their lives released openly.

Now they have to be on TV? I looked around the OpenCourt site to determine if they show victims in their broadcasts, but so far am not finding anything that says they don’t. It seems wrong that these men, women, and children have gone through so much already, and then their anguish, anger, tears, confusion, or fear might be broadcast live. I can just imagine hungry sociopaths searching for their next victims via court TV.

My third concern is for juveniles. It appears that this particular court is not broadcasting cases involving juveniles. That is a sound decision, because many states protect juvenile records and generally don’t release images of kids. As the live streaming practice spreads, however, yet another class of formerly protected parties in the justice system may find their likeness and records publicly disclosed.

Fourth, this could be a safety risk for law enforcement personnel. Some cops I know are not okay with pictures of themselves being on the Internet. Some police departments shield digital images of their officers from public disclosure in the interest of their safety. I can’t speak for the cops in my life, but I’m confident that some of them wouldn’t be too fond of this.

Finally, projects like this make it seem like the traditional divide between having open records to police the conduct of government rather than the conduct of the individual is gone. This is a media-sponsored project, and the media is often heavily involved in open government advocacy. While I’m a firm believer in a free press, that does not mean that everybody’s business should be aired without restraint all of the time. I also remind myself that most media outlets are for-profit businesses.

This level of transparency may be useful in holding public officials accountable. But it can be detrimental to other participants in criminal and civil cases. It’s easy to say, “oh yeah! Now those judges can’t get away with anything!” or “it’s pretty cool to be watching live court from home.” However, putting yourself in the shoes of the people who may not want to be on TV and feeling what they feel might give you a very different perspective.

There has to be a balance between the public’s right to know and people’s personal information. But in the digital age, public records seem to be becoming a free-for-all in which nothing seems sacred anymore and everybody wants to watch. It will be interesting to see how this project deals with such issues.

Privacy is the right to be alone—the most comprehensive of rights, and the right most valued by civilized man. –Louis D. Brandeis

Resolutions: How Are YOU Doing?

By Neil Schori

So we're about three weeks into this new year and new decade...and I'm wondering how you're doing with sticking to your resolutions.  The crowd at my gym is already thinning out, and I've seen many posts by friends of mine on Facebook and Twitter announcing to the cyber-world that they've already fallen off their diet-wagons.  Resolutions irritate the heck out of me!  Do you know why?  Because I've hardly ever seen anyone follow through to their goals.  They just don't work and I've been told over and over that if the way a person is doing something doesn't work, that the method must change before different results will be seen.

For some people, resolutions don't "really" matter.  And what I mean by that is that the consequences of not following-through for most resolutions are minimal.  But for abused women, our lack of follow-through has dire consequences.  Kathleen Savio may not have died if it weren't for a lack of follow-through.  Stacy Peterson may not have disappeared, either.  So we must change.  We must make a renewed commitment to these women whom are crying out for help.  Our places of worship must be islands of refuge for abused women instead of acting as the seal on a doomed fate.  Our police officers and our courts must be held accountable for abuse of power and to uphold the rights of tragically terrorized and forgotten women.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said: "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who perpetrates it.  He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."  Dr. King believed so much in over-turning deeply entrenched social injustice that he paid for it with his life.

So, today, I want to make my recommitment to abused women in this public forum.  This is greater than a resolution.  It is more than a whim.  It is connected straight to the very heart of God.  

If you are abused and afraid and have no place to turn, you can turn to Naperville Christian Church.  We will not betray you nor will we minimize your problems.  If you allow us the privilege, we will walk alongside you and help you see and find a better way.  We will become friends and family to you.  We will never tell you that you should just go back to your abuser or that if you were a better wife that he wouldn't have hit you.  We will listen to you and we will let you know that you have value and that you are valued.

I am fully dedicated to this cause, but I know that I am NOT enough.  If you are a pastor or leader in a faith community and you are interested in learning about how you can step up and make a difference in the lives of many women, please call me or email me.  It would be my honor to share my passion with you.  Will you join me in this struggle against domestic violence and perhaps even more importantly, for the hearts and lives of these women?

Peace,

Neil Schori
Lead Pastor, NCC
napervillechristian.org
630.983.5600
neil@napervillechristian.org

"We" In Statement Analysis

by Peter Hyatt

“We” is a pronoun that has specific meaning.

We have previously seen that each individual has a personal, subjective, internal dictionary. This means that in an interview, we must seek to enter into the subject’s personal dictionary in order to understand their reality.

So that if someone says “the boy was…” we need to learn what a “boy” is to the subject.

Is the boy a young child in school?
Is the boy an older child, with developed intelligence such as a 12 year old?
“Support our fighting boys in the war!” would indicate a male over the age of 18.

To each subject, the word “boy” may indicate a slightly different reality and it is only by context and our questions that we can enter into the subject’s personal internal dictionary and understand what is meant.

There are, however, two exceptions to the personal, internal, subjective dictionary that each of us has: articles and pronouns.

Articles and Pronouns are not part of our internal dictionary. The word “a” is used when a topic or item is first introduced, for example, but thereafter is referred to with the article, “the”. This is universal to all of us.

Pronouns are also universal, as they are something we learn very early in life; for some, predating speech. (the child who reaches with his hands to indicate “my” or “mine” will show understanding of the pronoun even before being able to properly enunciate the words.

The pronoun, “we” is important in investigations. 

1. It indicates cooperation.

In the example of the young women who, disheveled and crying, reported that she had been sexually assaulted.

"He threw me in his car, drove to the woods, he assaulted me and we drove home..." was recognized as a deceptive statement.

There is no "we" between assailant and victim (note that the "we" was used after the alleged assault) which when confronted, the young woman admitted breaking curphew with a young man whom her father had disliked.

2. It indicates plurality.

If the subject is said to have supposed to have been alone, but says “we ate dinner”, the pronoun, “we” is not open to interpretation: it means more than one, and it is not something a subject can later claim it wasn’t what was meant. As simple as this sounds, when caught, subjects who have claimed to have been alone attempt to rely on "I meant to say "I"" as an excuse.


3. It is also an indication of weakness when it appears in a statement.

“We were thinking how strange this seemed…” is not a strong statement but may even be deceptive.

“I thought it was strange” is a strong statement; first person singular, past tense.

Why do some use the word “we”?

Christopher Dillingham wrote in “Dissecting Pinocchio”

“by saying “we” rather than “I”, many liars feel that less attention will be paid to their role in an event. It also adds some perceivedcredibility, because Pinocchio is implying that he has witnesses to his “good behavior.” He also gets to dissociate himself from the others’ bad behaviors."
The use of the term “we” also implies a cooperative effort. If “we” did something together, than “I” don’t share all the blame because I didn’t do it alone.”

False Witnesses and "we"
The use of "we" is often a good give away when a false witnesses comes forward; especially in a case that has the public's attention. The "witness" is nervous. She is reporting things that she did not personally see, so she slips into the "we" to speak for herself and others, perhaps a husband or friend. The "give away" is when she tells us what another thought or felt. The exception to this is a standard principle: When husband and wife are in the room together, and one is speaking for both.

Sometimes a false witness will use the "we" to describe himself and the crowd that was present. When this arises, it should be flagged for possible deception. Once flagged, if deception is present, we are likely to find an increase in qualifiers and sensitivity along with the "we" that is present.

Change in Pronoun
We need to pay close attention to the subject’s change from “I” to “we” in an open statement because it may be an attempt to divert attention away, or it may be a means to attempt to persuade that something is true.

Any change in pronoun is to be noted as important, possibly sensitive.

We always note when someone purports to speak for another, including what others thought. This is sensitive. Unless the subject can say that she knows what another thought because the other told her so, we should flag the sensitivity for review or follow up questions.

First person singular, past tense, establishes commitment. The employment of the first person plural weakens the commitment. Note this, in particular, in any eye witness statements.

It is also a signal of a bad relationship if it comes before the introduction . This is sometimes a clue to motive in disappearances.

In an open statement (one of which the subject is editing freely), when a person is introduced, we expect to have a proper social introduction.

“Kathy, my wife, said that we should…” would be considered a proper social introduction.

An improper social introduction should be flagged as a possibly bad relationship.

“And so I told the wife that we should…” would indicate that this is a bad relationship with no social introduction and the use of the article, “the” rather than “my” in the first statement.

Consider that this is a situation where the subject is talking to law enforcement. (If his wife is known by police it is not necessary for him to introduce her; similar rules apply when speaking to a journalist, or at an Emergency Room; that is, any professional setting where name and address is needed).


If we find that the word “we” enters a statement prior to the social introduction, it is likely a very bad relationship and should take careful note of this as possible motive if it is a missing person’s report, homicide or injury.

When is "we" appropriate? 

If the subject is speaking for another, for instance, a parent, if the parent is in the room, it should be considered appropriate.

However, if one spouse speaks for the other and the other is not present, it should be noted. A spouse may say "my husband said" but when the statement is such that one spouse tells us what another spouse saw, felt, thought, etc, it is a strong indication of deception and it would likely be confirmed in the langage itself (increase in sensitiviy indicators/qualifiers)

If a spouse tells us what another spouse said, felt, saw, etc, where the other spouse is deceased, it should be considered unreliable information and the investigator needs to continue digging. This is the "weakness" where the spouse seeks to sound credible by adding in the spouse. In fact, in a deceptive account, the more sensitive the information the more likely we are to have the subject use "we" repetitively in a statement, giving the appearnace of being "afraid" to speak for oneself. This absence of "I" is an indicator that the account is not reliable and the analysis should proceed on alert for deception.

Lying Is Stressful

Lying causes internal stress and people will say almost anything to avoid it. Among its stress is the issue of remembering all the lies told previously.

Sometimes deceptive people will go back and forth from the "I" to "we" without 'keeping track' of their words and get caught.

When the subject should be speaking for herself, the "we" is less reliable and should be noted.

Review some of the analysis for the pronoun "we" in statements. Note in particular, the statemnts of Tiffany Hartley, who, even when alone and not speaking for another, slipped into the "we" often.

http://seamusoriley.blogspot.com/2010/10/hartley-transcripts-from-jane-velez.html
Sometimes a witness wants to become part of a famous case and will read what the subject claimed to have happened, and attempt to duplicate it as a "witness" and will, by necessity, need the perception of strength by using the "we" and speak for another; sometimes a spouse. Did a witness attempt to buttress credibility by its employ? Did a subject speak for a spouse who was not present (even deceased) and unable to speak for himself? Did the subject rely heavily upon the "we" rather than the "I"?

Separating spouses often gives very different accounts.

Every statement begins with circling the pronouns.

"We" is one which should always catch our attention.

It may show cooperation, plurality, and often times, weakness.

The Christmas Casseroles Stopped After Two Weeks

By Donna Gore

As the holiday season approaches, those of us who are the veteran survivors of crime are cognizant of the flood of emotions evoked on Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas and the New Year’s holidays… as well as anniversary dates.

Those who have recently been accosted by violent crime, for the first time experience a vacuous holiday season without their loved one.  Holidays that once held meaning, are no more.  Survivors of crime say to them, “What’s the point anymore?”  

New survivors are assaulted with holiday images at every turn.  This year in particular due to our dismal economy, I saw my first Xmas image before the Halloween candy was distributed!

Tinsel and materialism aside, as a new survivor, we don’t want to look at these images or be reminded.   We don’t want to hear “Holly, Jolly Xmas” pervading our grocery aisles.  We cannot face any of it.

At some point it hits us that we have to face the holidays.

They will come no matter what has occurred before.  What to do about that empty seat at the dinner table?  What to do about the gifts you can’t bring yourself to buy and the little rituals your beloved “always took care of.”

Our surviving relatives may be able to function, but we can’t…

Our friends try to “pick up the slack” by offering to “do anything needed.”

“Call if you need anything”.  “Just let me know how I can help” are familiar refrains and certainly well meaning. However, such offers do not help us because they don’t appreciate our state of inertia.  What we really need are concrete suggestions and offers.  Even well meaning friends frequently have no idea how to help during that acute phase.

Therefore, below I present to you a holiday list of “What to Do” from my archives compiled years ago by the Victim Assistance Douglas County Sheriff’s Department in Colorado (with my personal additions and  refinements).

I also offer a list of “Getting through the Holidays,” compliments of Survivors of Homicide, Inc. in Connecticut.  Whether you chose to use any of these suggestions or not, we will always remember our loved one in some way during the holiday season. *** To that end, it is in the establishing of new traditions, even small ones that create new meaning in out lives

HOW CAN I HELP?

1)   Your presence at any public service and a handshake or hug will provide more support than any “rehearsed remarks” that you could possibly think of.

2)   As the friend or relative, you should take the initiative to get in touch by telephone or card.  It’s never too late to express your love and concern.

3)   Don’t say, “Call and let me know how I can help” (Most never will). 

Rather, take the initiative and,

a) Cook a meal;

b) Freeze one for a future meal;

c) Babysit;

d) Do some shopping for them;

e) Help with phone calls;

f) Do some driving ( to the airport, train station etc)

4)   Let them talk… and tell their story over and over again. Listening is the most important support now.  It is in telling the story that survivors are able to begin the long healing process.  Allow them screaming room.

5)   While listening, be careful not to assume feelings, place blame or rationalize reasons for what happened.  You are not there to agree or disagree.  Listen and affirm their right to feel as they do.

6)   Avoid making comments such as:

“You’ll have other children”

“You’ll get married again”

“It was God’s will”

“Be brave”

“Don’t cry”

“Don’t talk about it”

“In time you will have closure”

7)   Accept them for who they are and who they have become.  Your loving support now will help them to accept themselves and come to some sort of peace (NOT CLOSURE) with this loss.

8)   Share some positive memories with the survivors.  Happy and warm memories help the healing process.

9)   Be persistent in your offer of help long term.  It is difficult to ask for help.  The survivor of crime will need your help more and more as the months pass, not less, which is a common mistake.  Everyone wants to bring casseroles for the first two weeks and then they often “go back to their own lives assuming that you “can now “go it alone” which is the farthest thing from truth or reality.

10) Don’t suggest sedatives.  That will only delay the healing process.  It is much better if they can make it through without medication.  However, if needed a doctor should be consulted instead of your medicine cabinet.

11) Be sure to allow the bereaved partner or parent to make the services they wish rather than questioning them on their choices or trying to “take over.”  If not, resentment and anger may occur if their decisions were not respected.  On the other hand, if they ask for specific assistance, follow-through with their requests.

12) Understand that there is no specific timetable for grief! 

Allow them all the time they need to “recover” and begin to function again.  It may take a few months to several years.  Also, keep in mind that grief will reoccur many times. (Particularly during the court/trial process with it’s many delays, postponements etc. known as “the re-victimization.”)

13) Acknowledge anniversary dates such as death dates, their birthdays or anniversaries.  Take their lead in terms of how they will be observed.  A phone call or hug acknowledging the date will offer comfort.  Never ignore

it.

14) Accept their silence if that is all they can offer.  Be patient with them.

15) Comfort the children in the family, not just the adults.  If you are unsure how to approach them or are at a loss of what to say, consult with a professional bereavement therapist or a fellow homicide survivor for advice.  Never lie to children.  However, tell them what they can comprehend and respond to their direct questions without getting too complex or abstract.

16) Avoid halting all conversations with others in their presence.  However, get a feel for what they can handle at the moment.  At times, conversations about other topics or even a funny moment can be a welcome distraction from grief.

17) Allow them to “work trough their grief.”  In other words, do not whisk away photos or clothing. Permit the bereaved to remove such items in their own time.

18) If your relative or friend is in a perpetual state of being overwhelmed and cannot process the day to day conversations, write a letter so that they may read it on their own time and appreciate your relationship at a later time.

19) Encourage postponement of major decisions until the intense grief has

subsided.  Encourage the bereaved to seek advice from clergy, attorneys, real estate personnel so that they are not taken advantage of at their most vulnerable time.

GETTING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS

You must realize that grieving persons have definite limitations.  We do not function at normal capacity.  Therefore, we must reevaluate our priorities and decide what is really meaningful for our families and us.

1)We must decide what we can handle comfortably, and let those needs be known to family and friends.

-      Whether or not to talk about our loved one openly;

-      Whether we can handle the responsibility of the family dinner. holiday parties etc., or if we wish someone else to take over some or all of these tasks;

-      Whether we will stay here for the holidays or we choose to “run away” to a totally different holiday environment this year;

2) Don’t be afraid to make changes. It really can make things less painful!

- Open presents Christmas #Eve  instead of Christmas morning;

- Have dinner at a different time;

- Attend a different church for your Christmas Eve services;

- Let the children take over decorating the tree or making cookies

3) Our greatest comfort may be in doing something for others.  You may be able to acknowledge your loss more meaningfully by:

-      Giving a gift or money donation in memory of your loved one;

-      Adopting a needy family or guest for the holidays;

-      Volunteering at a shelter or soup kitchen

4)    Whether it’s greeting cards, holiday baking, putting up the tree, decorating, dinner preparations or visiting others, ask these questions before making any decisions:

-      Have I involved or considered my other family members?

-      Do I really enjoy this task or does other family prefer to do it?

-      Can I share or delegate those tasks?

-      Would this Holiday be the same without it?

5)    How many stockings should we hang? We may decide to:

-      Put them all up;

-      Hang no stockings at all;

-      Write our thoughts and feelings down about our loved one and have a special stocking with a designated reader;

-      A family burns a “special candle” on all their special days to quietly include “their presence;”

-      Chose a new tradition among family members to include the one who has passed such as ; hanging a special wreath; buying an item they collected, planting a tree

6)    Plan ahead for the shopping days with a ready made list.  When you have a good day” you will not be as exhausted or shop with a friend and shop at dinnertime when the crowds are much less.

      7)  Holiday cards- If this task is too overwhelming, some families enclose the little funeral service card into your pre-purchased greeting cards for those who may not be aware of your loss.  Ask a friend or relative to make address labels on the computer to help with this task.

Finally, the above suggestions were offered pre technology.  Therefore, someone may want to create a website or Face book page in honor of your loved one….

Respectfully Submitted

Donna R. Gore, M. A.

Homicide Survivor in Connecticut

Forgiving the Offender: Ready or Not?

By Randy McCall

Recently, I was contacted by a victim of crime who had some serious questions on the topic of forgiveness. They wanted to know why so many people and groups they associated with kept demanding to know if they had forgiven the offender yet... and if not, why hadn't they?

The victim wanted to know why it was so important to other people? After all, the victim was the one who had survived the offense, not these other people, many of whom were only vague acquaintances. Why were people continually questioning them on the issue?

The question made me sit down and do some serious thinking before responding to their question.

I've worked with a lot of crime victims over the years. I've seen many who came to forgive their offender, and others who never did. Some of those who chose to forgive describe the final act as one of release, of giving up a burden; some referred to it in religious terms, taken from their particular holy books.

In some cases, the person in question wanted to share their new-found sense of peace and wholeness through forgiveness with other victims. They did this by either becoming active in victim support groups, or by joining one of the many restorative justice organizations which exist to help victims.

Social scientists and psychological researchers who've explored the act of forgiveness by crime victims have found at least some evidence that those who reach the point of forgiveness experience less long-term psychological trauma, less physical illness, and may have a faster recovery period to the re-establishment of a normal life. You may find some interesting reading in the American Psychological Association's publication: Forgiveness - A Sampling of Research Results

Note I mentioned "the point of forgiveness"? Reaching a point where a person can forgive is a process, much like the grief process. Each individual is different, and each will react to the trauma of victimization in a different way. The time it will take a person to reach the stage in their emotional journey where they can choose to work towards forgiving will vary greatly.

I've heard the process likened to act of a high-diver; they have to climb to the point where they can take the plunge.

The victim must be ready to take the step... they cannot be coaxed, badgered or ordered into doing it before time; attempting to do so can easily result in a severe emotional backlash.

Unfortunately, our society tends to like simple, quick answers to problems. This is why I believe so many people asked the victim I mentioned in the first paragraph if they had forgiven the offender... because, to many people, it would mean the victim had recovered and was now "fixed".

Being presented with the evident benefits of the act of forgiveness -- social, psychological, and financial (a quicker return to a sense of normalcy means less use of victim support staff time and resources) -- there are some victim advocates who who simply add "forgive offender" to the list of things they recommend the victim do as part of the recovery process.

Now, let me be clear; I'm not saying a large percentage of service groups do this... but over the years, I've heard from a goodly number of crime victims who reported they were told they should/had to forgive the offender as part of their healing process.

A much larger number said that forgiveness was first offered as just a distant possibility, but after time they felt pressured to accept it, as they were repeatedly asked whether they had forgiven the offender yet. Some of these victims -- who were no where near forgiving their offender -- told their advocates they had, simply because they needed the emotional approval and further support of the advocate in question.

Forgiveness should be an option, a door which victims can open and explore when they feel ready. It should never be pushed at victims as a panacea, or in such a way as to make victims feel as though they are disappointing those helping them if they can't accept the concept.

Some people will never reach the point of forgiveness, and it is not for us, as victim advocates, to say this is wrong. Some of the most effective victim rights activists -- and wonderful, kind individuals -- I know are crime survivors who channeled their grief and anger into action and advocacy.

We must remember that victims have already had control taken violently away from once. We should not add to that loss of control by demanding, or applying emotional pressure on them, to accept something they are not ready and willing to fully embrace.