A New Year: 2013!

by Anita Sullivan

Over the past month, we’ve sung carols, lit candles, shopped, opened presents, cooked elaborate meals, talked or visited with family we rarely do, decked the halls, filled the stockings, and celebrated the season. But now that it’s time to clean the mess, pay the bills, head back to school and work, and start the New Year, what do we focus on now?

For so many people, Christmas is truly a magical time. Yet we can easily forget that in homes across our land, the magic can’t outweigh the reality that families face. In that home with abuse? It didn’t end, and may have even been worse with the added pressures. In that home with not enough money to keep things going? December didn’t change that, and guilt was felt for not providing as much as they hoped. In that home where illness casts a shadow? It still did, as families spent their Christmas in the hospital praying the New Year would bring new health. In the home where loss was felt this year? Grief still lived, sometimes with added hurt over missing their loved one through the holidays.

As I step back and look at the Christmas season from a different angle, I see that the magic truly comes from people who share God’s love, not from any tinsel or gift. There are those who buy extra presents- and gift them to children in shelter. There are those who hang lights- not just on their own trees, but on displays for the community to enjoy. There are those who sing songs- not just with their families, but for the community after many many hours of practice. There are those who serve food- not just in their home, but for masses of people who have none. There are those who give money- and not just for last minute tax breaks, but of love.

The magic of Christmas is in how much is given with nothing asked in return. The danger is that the season ends, and the needs don’t. The families still hurt, the needs still exist, and yet the giving isn't at the same pace.

As we begin 2013, consider how you gave this Christmas season, how you showed love to those who need it. Don’t let it stop because the season is over. Let this be the year of Christmas all year long.

 Anita Sullivan is the sister of a missing person, and long time advocate of victims, even before having a personal connection to the world of lost. During college,Anita found a passion for helping others and was involved in a variety of ministries. She then started a career in non-profit, first working with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. She went on to work with at risk families through a supervised visitation program before spending several years in fundraising and advocacy. She now tries to reach people with a message of Hope through writing and speaking, while honoring her brother, Michael "Austin" Davis, who has been missing since 2007. To learn more about Anita, visit her at losingaustin.blogspot.com.

Resolutions: How Are YOU Doing?

By Neil Schori

So we're about three weeks into this new year and new decade...and I'm wondering how you're doing with sticking to your resolutions.  The crowd at my gym is already thinning out, and I've seen many posts by friends of mine on Facebook and Twitter announcing to the cyber-world that they've already fallen off their diet-wagons.  Resolutions irritate the heck out of me!  Do you know why?  Because I've hardly ever seen anyone follow through to their goals.  They just don't work and I've been told over and over that if the way a person is doing something doesn't work, that the method must change before different results will be seen.

For some people, resolutions don't "really" matter.  And what I mean by that is that the consequences of not following-through for most resolutions are minimal.  But for abused women, our lack of follow-through has dire consequences.  Kathleen Savio may not have died if it weren't for a lack of follow-through.  Stacy Peterson may not have disappeared, either.  So we must change.  We must make a renewed commitment to these women whom are crying out for help.  Our places of worship must be islands of refuge for abused women instead of acting as the seal on a doomed fate.  Our police officers and our courts must be held accountable for abuse of power and to uphold the rights of tragically terrorized and forgotten women.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said: "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who perpetrates it.  He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."  Dr. King believed so much in over-turning deeply entrenched social injustice that he paid for it with his life.

So, today, I want to make my recommitment to abused women in this public forum.  This is greater than a resolution.  It is more than a whim.  It is connected straight to the very heart of God.  

If you are abused and afraid and have no place to turn, you can turn to Naperville Christian Church.  We will not betray you nor will we minimize your problems.  If you allow us the privilege, we will walk alongside you and help you see and find a better way.  We will become friends and family to you.  We will never tell you that you should just go back to your abuser or that if you were a better wife that he wouldn't have hit you.  We will listen to you and we will let you know that you have value and that you are valued.

I am fully dedicated to this cause, but I know that I am NOT enough.  If you are a pastor or leader in a faith community and you are interested in learning about how you can step up and make a difference in the lives of many women, please call me or email me.  It would be my honor to share my passion with you.  Will you join me in this struggle against domestic violence and perhaps even more importantly, for the hearts and lives of these women?

Peace,

Neil Schori
Lead Pastor, NCC
napervillechristian.org
630.983.5600
neil@napervillechristian.org

A New Year…A New You

By: Gaétane Borders

I stopped making New Year's resolutions a number of years ago because they just didn't work for me. Add to that the feeling of failure at year's end... Who needs that? So instead, I use the end of a year t to reflect on choices that I made throughout the past 12 months, and to evaluate what worked...and what didn't. A year ago, I vowed that in the new year I would not waste time on things that did not bring me joy. I realized that I was spread thin, and that I was putting up with circumstances and people that were simply not good for me. So....I gave myself an emotional cleanse. Meaning, I vowed to do better about appreciating my time, value, and purpose.

It seemed awkward at first, but one single event helped to catapult me in the right direction. On January 12, 2010, CNN reported that a 7.0 magnitude earthquake had all but leveled the island of Haiti...my parents' birthplace It was a tragedy that horrified the nation, and forever changed me. I cried for weeks, and even broke down at work on a few occasions. But...as terrible as this natural disaster was...it did help me to solidify a few things.

1. True friends are there for you when you need them the most...Not when it's
convenient for them.
2. You never know how resilient you are until you face a traumatic experience.
3. No day is promised, so you have to live life so that you have no regrets.

After grasping the meaning of these realizations, I began the process of true self-reflection. It was hard letting go of certain thoughts, behaviors and relationships. However, sometimes you just need to purify your spirit in order to be a better you. Just as if I had a medical cleanse, I feel lighter, energized, and healthier. As a result, I believe I am a better wife, psychologist...and mommy.

I encourage everyone to take stock of the relationships and circumstances in their life. Just because things may have gone awry in years past does not mean you have to carry this negative energy into the new year. Purging ourselves of all most things negative is sure to be a challenging and continuous process for all of us. Though the process may not be easy, the end result is well worth it.

I look forward to sharing with you in the new year, and am eager to see what's in store for all of us. Here's to a happy, peaceful, abuse free, and prosperous 2011... CHEERS!

Happy New Year,
Gaétane F. Borders, Ed.S., ABD
President, Peas in Their Pods

Dedicated to Those Who Still Have a Fighting Chance

By Lyn Twyman

It's been almost 11 years ago that I met a beautiful young man who was dying of cancer at the tender age of 18.  I had heard about his struggle with cancer in the local newspaper and new that someone needed to reach out to him and his family.  I was working a full time job then so I asked my preacher at the time if he would pay this young man a visit and he promised me he would.  After 2 or 3 weeks had gone by, I learned that my preacher had not kept his word and I became livid.  'Why am I giving this man my tithe money when he can't even get his ass in the car and visit someone who is sick as the rest of us are at work struggling to make a living?' I thought.  

I then made the decision to make the visit myself and I asked another church member, who knew the family of the young man, if she would go with me to visit them after I got off from work.  She agreed and in the cold and chill of December, we drove down an old, back country road to a white cottage in the darkness of the night out in the woods.  Once we arrived at the home, we were met by some of the friendliest of people, given the circumstances.  The new friend that I met that night, who I always call now my Charlie, was laying in the living room on his hospital bed, connected to a morphine pump as his source of pain relief and sustenance. 

What happened that night I have never forgotten as I watched this young man, who did not have much left to his frail being, wake from his sleep  and he began speaking to me, though he couldn't see me as the cancer had taken most of his sight.  We talked and I learned about his favorite instrument, his favorite sport, even his favorite flower.  I also prayed with him that night asking God to be by his side and Charlie received assurance that he would go to meet his Maker.  Minutes later, he drifted back to sleep but before he did, I gave him a red Bible. 

Charlie died three days later on December 26th and after speaking with his mother after the funeral had taken place, I learned that he was buried with the same Bible I had given him.  I also learned from his mother that the visit I had paid him gave him renewed strength that she had not seen from him in a while.   He was a more cheerful person in his last three days, making mention of me several times and wanting to know where his Bible was.  On Christmas day, after weeks of not eating because of the effects from the morphine, he awoke asking to get dressed and ate his last meal ever with his family.  I didn't know that the time I had left to reach him wasn't that long.  I didn't know that Charlie was on the verge of death the night we went to see him.  The local newspaper had minimized the state of his condition. 

Just like my angel, Charlie, whose life was claimed by a gruesome disease called cancer, there are many victims of domestic violence who are also on the verge of death.  If you and I don't get to them, don't talk to them, don't reach out to them soon, and just wait for other people and organizations to do the work when you and I are just as capable, then it just may be too late.  If we can save them or offer some kind of hope to help them move on and be empowered to take the next steps, then we've doing our job. 

I know my Charlie died, but he needed someone to come to him and give him some kind of hope as his fate was near.  For those who are being victimized by domestic violence, they still have a fighting chance, however, and that's the point I want to get across today. 

 So I challenge all of us who are fighting for the rights of victims of domestic violence, sexual assault to crime victimization, please remember that each person deserves the help and support.  It’s not too late. Each person deserves to be kept safe from their abuser and out of harm’s way with whatever it takes.  Judges, prosecutors, police officers and advocates reading this, ask yourselves are your departments doing all they can do to protect victims?  Politicians and legislators, are you passing laws to keep victims safe or what’s holding you back from making the right decisions to protect your citizens?  Is it that one little clause in a bill that needs to be modified that’s preventing you from voting on it?  If so, then for Heaven’s sake come to a compromise, get it changed and pass that bill!  And family, friends, co-workers, what’s keeping you from talking to the person you love or know about getting help as they are being abused? 

If all of us wait for the next guy to come around, just like the lazy preacher I once had, what we’re called to do by Divine Intervention, Providence or Karma will never happen.  So let’s take the time to make this coming holiday and new year a time to be more proactive in our fight for all of humanity.  There are some things we just know we must do that are right.  Someone needs you.  Don’t let anything hold you back.

~Dedicated to my Charlie.  Called home to be with his Maker December 26, 1999.~

5 Vital Beliefs to Achieving Success in 2010

   By Pamela Chapman

We have made it through the holiday season. Welcome to 2010. I don't know about you, but I'm excited and looking forward to new beginnings. 


There are a few beliefs I'd like to share with you at the start of this New Year. 

I believe they are vital for each and every one of us to remember going forward in 2010.
Grasp some type of belief system outside yourself--a belief system that will bring hope, encouragement and inspiration. That might look like prayer, meditation, yoga or whatever spiritual practice you might use. 

I also believe you will need to remember others and more importantly be willing to assist others, collaborate. If you want good things to happen to you, make them happen for someone else. It can’t be all about you. We must stop talking about love and start demonstrating love—loving our neighbor as we love ourselves and ours. Narcissist behavior in 2010 will lead to one thing—failure.

In addition, you want to take special care of yourself by re-energizing, refocusing, and restoring. My friend and Legacy Coach Ana-Christina as well as my business coaches Maria Simone and Michael Murdock reminded me of this in 2009.  When you're stressing out and freaking out...take deep, deep breaths. Deep breathing causes you to shift, regain composure, energize and refocus on what it is you want to create and guess what? God gave you air and it’s free. Remember what every flight attendant tells you before you fly. If there is a sudden decline in altitude (attitude) and the oxygen releases, put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Don't help the child, the spouse, the boyfriend or anyone else. 

 Eat right, drink water, exercise, and get lots of rest. I know this is difficult, ladies, but it’s critical. 

We are understanding quantum physics more and more. If your energy is negative, depleted and stinky, then what you attract, manifest, and co-create will be negative, empty, and stinky too. So, don’t let the trials and challenges of life take you under.
Keep a positive mindset, turn off the news and negative folk and while asking for more be appreciative for what you have and give thanks daily. 


So here it is in five simple steps: 


#1 Ground each day, in the morning if possible.


#2 Remember this Universal Law...what comes around, goes around. You reap what you sow.  


#3 Breathe to re-energize, refocus and restore. 


#4 Take care of you FIRST. 


#5 Be positive and be grateful. 


Here’s wishing you a Happy, Prosperous and Blessed New Year. I pray "Release" for all that is good for you, and "Release" for all that has held you back and stifled your growth and your ascending to the next plateau in 2009.  


In Love, Light and Healing,
Pamela