Mourning With Newtown

by Neil Schori

Evil came and slaughtered the innocents. Today, we pause to remember Daniel Barden, Olivia Engel,
Josephine Gay, Ana Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Madeline Hsu, Catherine Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattiolo, Grace McDonnell, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Benjamin Wheeler, Allison Wyatt, Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto, Anne Marie Murphy, Lauren Rousseau, Dawn Hochsprung, & Rachel Davino.

Almost immediately after Adam Lanza blasted his way through Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, the pundits started to politicize this horrible tragedy. They started predictable arguments that guns are the problem. Others, attempting to defend gun ownership, said that if the teachers at Sandy Hook had been armed, that this tragedy could have been avoided, or at least minimized.

I don't have all the answers to these age-old questions. I don't know why God allowed this to happen, when I wouldn't have allowed it if it had been up to me. Are we more moral than God? Not too likely. Is it because we banned prayer from public schools? I doubt it. Is it because of liberal marijuana laws or the legalization of gay marriage? I'd believe that about as much as I'd believe that Hurricane Katrina came because of the wickedness of New Orleans. I mean...the French Quarter is filled with the darkest activities in the city, and Katrina avoided damaging it at all. Doesn't sound like the work of God to me at all.

Here's what I do know: We live in a sin-filled and fallen world. And really bad things happen here. But there is an answer...and it isn't gun control. Guns can kill. That's true. But even if we confiscated and banned the use of guns everywhere, we'd still kill. Why? Because evil hides deeply in the hearts of men.

What is the answer to this evil? The answer came just over 2000 years ago in the form of a tiny baby. The Gospel of Luke 2: 8-12 says~

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

Dear Newtown: nothing can take away your pain. And we have nothing to say that will make it better. We wouldn't dare open our mouths and offer the sacrifice of fools. What happened to you is horrible and tragic. And it shouldn't have happened. And God didn't want it to happen. Our prayer for you is that you would encounter the God that came near and that we could just sit with you and mourn beside you.

With Love,

Neil

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church, and is a remarkable advocate for those in abusive relationships. He is a founding partner with Document the Abuse.

Wake Up, Church, Stop Blame-Shifting!

by Neil Schori

This past I celebrated Easter at my church and it was incredible!  Three people committed their lives to following Jesus.  It was a truly moving day.  As I really took in the true meaning of Easter, I started to think about how so many people misuse religion in selfish attempts to control others.

I can't even believe how many Christians and community leaders and even pastors that I encounter that seriously believe that abused women should not leave their abusive husbands.  It is shocking to me that people are that warped about a God who modeled the exact opposite of what THEY teach.

When Jesus has just started his public ministry, he went to teach in the synagogue.  He opened the scroll of the Old Testament prophet Isaiah, and he read these words:

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (Luke 4:18, 19 NIV)

After he spoke those words, he said to the crowd: "Today, this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."  Profound words!  Jesus came to bring good news to everyone that had been held back and was disadvantaged in his society.  He stood against suffering and pain and subjugation of all kinds.  He came to set us free!  Not just in a strange and unknowable "spiritual" sense...but in a real and tangible and life-altering way.  He really came to set us free.  And yes, that includes abused women.  Wake up, church!  Give dignity to victims.  Quit placating the aggressors and falsely applying scripture to the lives of victims.  Stop blame-shifting.  Stop enabling sinful behavior.  Stand on the side of Truth.

Jesus was all about giving dignity to women.  In a culture that made it a practice of minimizing women and their rights, Jesus flipped the script on the misogynists of his day, and he continues to do it today.  Jesus gave dignity by offering conversation and counseling to a desperate woman he met at a well (John 4).  He saved a woman from legalistic laws that called for the execution of a woman caught in adultery by reminding the men that they were not sin-free, themselves (John 7).  And Jesus, in all of his wisdom first appeared to his female followers after he defeated death by rising from the dead (Mark 16).

Throughout his earthly life, Jesus showed us what God cares about.  And as a follower of Jesus, I'm proud to carry his name and tradition of offering dignity and shelter to women who have been oppressed.  I'm grateful for all of my fellow armor-bearers as we fight for this noble cause.  That is GOOD NEWS.

Peace,

Neil Schori

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church, and is a remarkable advocate for those in abusive relationships. He is a certified trainer of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit through Document the Abuse. His church is known as a haven of safety for the abused.

He Has a Dream!

by Neil Schori

Editor's note: Neil Schori has made a committment to assist victims of abuse through his church with the hope that other pastors will see this important service and offer it in their churches as well. Thank you Neil!

I have some huge dreams for 2012.  I hope you do, too.  I believe the best way to make dreams come true is by sharing them.  So here is one of mine...I want church leaders to step-up and realize the seriousness of domestic violence in their own congregations.  When one issue impacts the lives of 25% of a church congregation, serious attention must be given!  One easy way to understand how small actions can make a huge difference is to realize that 5 families can change the world for 1.3 million women each year subjected to abuse by the men that are supposed to care for them the most.

My vision is to find 5 families in each church in the nation to be safe houses for victims of abuse.  This would be safe, temporary housing for victims of domestic violence.  I also want to do widespread education of church leaders about the issue of domestic violence and to train church leaders how to use a tool (found on documenttheabuse.com) that will revolutionize the way we assist victims of abuse.  But the truth is…in order to do these things, we need financial assistance.

There are costs to the generous families that open their doors to victims and their children.  And we need help to pay for the costs of educating church leaders all over the country.  There are many needs that will arise and they always cost something.

We know that you may never be in a position to open your home to a victim…but maybe you have the money to give.  If you would like to give to this incredible dream, you may safely and securely donate here on our church Paypal account: http://napervillechristian.org/resources (then click on 'online giving’).

Thank you so much for your generosity!  Your gift WILL rescue victims of domestic violence and it will educate the next generation of people who will positively change our culture.

Peace,

Neil

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church, and is a remarkable advocate for those in abusive relationships.

Related articles

• Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims (neilschori.com)
• Dream to Reality (neilschori.com)
• Leadership is a Lonely Place (timesupblog.blogspot.com)
• Is Drew Peterson Untouchable? (neilschori.com)

Leadership is a Lonely Place

By Neil Schori

Leadership is a lonely place.  I've been told that by many leaders before, but I hadn't truly experienced it until I became the lead pastor at Naperville Christian Church, where I currently serve.  But, it is so very true.  It is lonely and it can be very frustrating.  Because in order to truly lead, there must be people who "buy in" to your vision, and follow.  And sometimes it feels like you are the only one!

Over 4 years ago, Stacy Peterson disappeared.  She has never been found, and her husband is still the only suspect in her disappearance.  Stacy and her husband, Drew, both attended my church.  I knew that I must stand up and fight for victims of domestic violence, but I didn't know where to start.  I connected with Susan Murphy-Milano, and it all changed for me.

I learned from Susan that 1 in 4 women sitting in my own church were currently being abused.  I discovered that 8 women each day in the United States were killed by their boyfriends or husbands.  I also learned that very few church leaders were doing anything about this at all and because of that, I knew that I had to make a difference.  I was inspired and charged-up, and ready to tackle this horrible epidemic in our nation.

But something weird happened...very few others seemed to care.  Most pastors I talk with about this look at me like I'm crazy.  They usually say something patronizing to me like "that is great that you care about this so much!"  Translation: "Because I don't...and I have more important things to do."  At times I've been very discouraged and started to think that nothing was going to change.  What an isolated and frustrating place!

Maybe you feel this way at times, too...almost as if you are the only voice out there talking about this issue that you care so deeply about.  If that is you, please hear this: KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT!  Tell everyone who will listen to you about the cause that burns within your heart.  If it is truly worth discussing, then keep it up.  You may be the only person talking about it now, but it doesn't have to be that way.  Your persistence will pay off.

This past Sunday at my church, I started off by sharing a couple of dreams that I have for 2012.  One of those dreams is to educate church leaders around the nation about the problems of domestic violence and how the church can make such a huge difference in the rescue of so many women.  I also talked about how our church is a safe church for victims of abuse, and that we'll always take their abuse seriously.  And then, something beautiful happened: a woman who made her way to our church for the very first time, opened up to another woman sitting near her in the service, and told her about the horrible abuse she'd experienced at the hands of her husband.  She found community, and came out from under the shroud of her abuse.  She'll be silenced no more.

Leadership is lonely, but I'm going to keep talking about domestic violence.  At times it may seem as though nothing is happening...but I know that isn't really true.  Hearts will be opened and lives will be changed as we continue to talk about these incredibly important issues.  Maybe today you are reading this and thinking: "this issue is so big, I can never make a real difference!"  If that is you, then let me tell you a quick story.

One day a little girl was walking along a sandy beach.  She passed many starfish that were washed far up onto the sand.  As she walked along, she picked up each starfish she found and gently tossed them back into the water.  An old man watched her and said: "little girl, there are thousands of starfish out here.  You can't save them all.  You can't begin to make a difference!"  For a moment, the little girl felt defeated.  Then she picked up another starfish, and threw it as far out into the ocean as she could, and she looked at the old man and said: "I made a difference for THAT one!"

Today, don't listen to the naysayers or to the voices that tell you that you'll never make a difference.  The only way that will be true, is if you never try.  Leadership is lonely, but keep talking about it.  You may be the only one doing it now, but that won't always be the case.

Peace,

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church, and is a remarkable advocate for those in abusive relationships.

Miracles Worth Waiting For

By Neil Schori

One of the most difficult things for me to do is to wait.  I don't like it when good things are delayed in my life.  And right now, I'm waiting on what seem to be a lot of important things.  I'm waiting for my house to sell.  I'm waiting for the budget at my church for 2012 to get hammered out.  I'm waiting for circumstances to change in the lives of people that I love dearly.  Sometimes it leaves me feeling like nothing is going to change and that darkness will be victorious.

But what I'm realizing in this season of Advent is that waiting is not without a point.  Something very holy and right and good happens in the waiting times of our lives.  Look at the first Christmas story with me from the Gospel of Luke 2: 1-7~

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

What a simple and beautiful story!  I can almost picture the Christmas figurines in the front lawn right now.  Joseph, with a proud fatherly look on his face, and Mary with strength and quiet confidence being the mother of the Savior of the world.  That sounds great, but it didn't happen quite like that.  The circumstances weren't quite like the idyllic winter wonderland we imagine.  And life never really is like that, is it?

What was really happening was far less glamorous.  What was really happening was stressful and frightening and caused Mary and Joseph great deals of insecurity, and fear.  You see, God had been relatively silent for around 400 years (since the writing of the final book of the Old Testament), and now the silence had ended.  And the end of God's silence brought an event that rocked a young couple by the names of Mary & Joseph.  Mary was likely only 12-14 years old, but was pledged to be married to a man named Joseph.  And suddenly, by God's providence, she was pregnant, and had to figure out a way to explain that to a really skeptical community.  But the consequences could have been far greater than shame.  Mary had to face the fact that the elders of her community could very well have her stoned for having sex outside of marriage.  This was more scandalous than an episode of Teen Mom!

And what about Joseph?  In a culture that determined your worth as a man by how many sons you had, this was the ultimate disgrace.  Joseph had to deal with shame and insecurity and the nagging doubts he must have had about Mary's story.  Surely a story this messed up couldn't have been guided by the hand of God?!

Oh, but it was.  And in the waiting, Mary and Joseph struggled and questioned and wondered how and why God would plan something so messy and if he would really come through for them. How could something characterized by disorder and doubt and fear be divinely guided?

When it came time for Mary to give birth to Jesus, they couldn't even catch a break then.  And the Savior of the world was born in a feeding trough for animals.  Could this be more messed up?  Surely there could have been another way?  Maybe you feel like that about your own life today.

Here's what I know: God works in ways that we don't understand.  And he sees you where you are right now and he works in "the waiting" and he has good plans for your life today.  No matter what it feels like to you right now, God has good plans for your life today.  You are not lost and you are not forgotten.

In your time of waiting today, please join me in prayer:

God, the story of the birth of your son tells us that your plans are greater than ours and your vision is not limited as ours is.  In this time of waiting, help us to see with your eyes and not just through our own limited lenses.  Help us to trust you deeply as we take in the promise of hope that this season of Advent brings.  Thank you for sending the greatest hope of all in the form of a tiny baby born in a stable.  Help us to believe that if you loved us enough to rescue us from our own selfish lives, that you also love us enough to see us through any difficult circumstances today.  AMEN

Believing that LOVE wins,

Neil

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church, and is a remarkable advocate for those in abusive relationships.

Faith Into Action

By Neil Schori

Over the last few weeks, I've had some incredible opportunities to put my faith into action.  Two of my greatest passions came to fruition in an interview with WGN about serving abused women with the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, then leaving for Haiti a day later to offer hope to the poorest people in the Western Hemisphere.  These things bring me a lot of life.  I could not be more grateful!

When I help people, I'm always helping myself in the process.  Do you know why?  Because when I help others, I'm reminded of what is truly important.  I get distracted by what is important each day.  Money, cars, well-manicured suburban yards---all of those things and more get in the way of the things that are the most important.  And when I serve the needs of others, it helps me to put a different lens into my near-sighted frames and I start seeing and living purpose again.  And THAT is a sweet spot.

What is it that motivates me to serve?  A man in the Bible named Paul of Tarsus wrote this in the book of 2nd Corinthians 8: 8,9

⁸ I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. ⁹ For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.

What Paul was saying was that Jesus modeled what true service looks like.  Jesus had everything but chose to become nothing so that we could have everything.  Jesus gave up the riches of Heaven so that we could be forgiven.  Jesus served us first.  Now, I serve to honor him.

Why do you serve?  Maybe it is because it makes you feel good.  Or because you want to do your good deed for the day.  Those are fine reasons, but I don't believe either of those reasons will keep you serving for more than a very short time.  Why?  Because feelings are fleeting.  But when your service is based on the truth of God's love for you, your serving tank will not run dry.

Serving with Gratitude,

Neil

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church, and is a remarkable advocate for those in abusive relationships.

The Forgiveness Question

By Neil Schori

Matthew 18: 21-22~

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Forgiveness is simple…at least until someone offends you. It has been said that when one person forgives another, he unlocks a prison door and lets himself out. I believe that because there have been times in my life that I’ve held grudges against another person and I’ve discovered that while I was busy fostering misery and bitterness and resentment, the objects of my wrath continued living life as if my feelings had no bearing on their lives. I would bet that you’ve experienced that in your lives, too.

But forgiveness has become convoluted. Abuse victims are often further victimized by being told that they are “unforgiving” because they don’t welcome back their abusers. The truth is that forgiveness has very little to do with welcoming back anything into our lives. It is simply a step that God expects us to take.

The best leaders lead by example and don’t expect someone under their authority to do something that they would not do. Jesus told us to be forgiving, because he is forgiving of all of our wrongs. And we show what we think of his grace by the grace that we offer others.

But there is another step in maintaining good relationships that has nothing to do with forgiveness, and that is reconciliation. Reconciliation cannot happen without forgiveness, but forgiveness can happen without reconciliation. So how does true reconciliation take place when great wrongs have been done in the context of our intimate relationships? That can only happen when the offender demonstrates true regret and a changed life. And that can only be proven over a significant period of time.

In the Gospel of Matthew 3: 8-10, Jesus had some harsh words for the religious leaders of his day~

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not think you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

What does that mean for us? It means that when someone hurts us and asks for another chance to be in our lives, that their sincerity (or lack thereof) will be demonstrated by how much their actions change toward us. The evidence (fruit) of repentance is changed behavior.

Abuse victims need to forgive their perpetrators. Abuse victims also need to be very slow and cautious and wise when considering reconciliation. Can it happen? Yes. But this is not to be hastily determined because your lives hang in the balance.

If you need help sorting through your particular circumstances, you can reach out to me. I’d be honored to help you.

Peace,

Neil Schori

neil@napervillechristian.org

Neil Schori is the Lead Pastor of Naperville Christian Church and takes an active role within the church to assist victims of intimate partner violence.  To learn more about Neil, please visit his website and blog:  http://neilschori.com

The (In)Justice System

By Neil Schori

Just a few weeks ago, an appellate court in Illinois made a dangerous ruling. They decided that most of the "so-called" hearsay evidence against former police sergeant Drew Peterson would not be admissible in his upcoming murder trial. Some people felt as though this was a victory for Joe and Jane Citizen. I would agree if this were normal hearsay. But this is not normal hearsay.

The judge in this case ruled that it was likely that Drew Peterson caused his wife, Stacy, to disappear so that she would be unable to testify against him for the murder of his third wife, Kathleen Savio. This is certainly not normal hearsay, which should not and would not ever make it into a courtroom. But there is a problem here. Rulings like these will do nothing but hurt women in cases of domestic violence. Why? Because their abusers will become emboldened. They will actually be motivated to do more harm to those few who know of their horrible violent tendencies. Why? Because if they kill the ones that know the truth, then everything else can be labeled "hearsay," which we all know is not admissible in court.

So what is the solution? I think that we might take a three-tiered approach:

1. Educate women~ If you saw someone drowning, would you stop and help? Of course you would! If you were a lifeguard, you'd certainly jump in and skillfully rescue them. I want to see more and more lifeguards. What does that look like in the arena of domestic violence? It teaches abused women that they need to immediately seek out a trusted friend to complete an EAA (Evidentiary Affidavit of Abuse). The EAA is an absolutely groundbreaking and game-changer for abused women. It was created by my friend, Susan Murphy-Milano, a true hero to victims of abuse. Susan created this tool in response to the senseless arguments that we've witnessed in the Peterson case. It acts to establish a foundation of truth that is admissible in any court of law should the abuser perpetrate violence upon the victim. What does it accomplish? It eliminates silly arguments over so-called hearsay statements. It brings the truth to light and justice for abuse victims and families.

2. Enlist church leaders~ Leaders in the faith community have a lot of influence in the lives of the people they serve. I've had multiple women come to and share with me the deepest and darkest secrets of their hearts while they have been abused. I'm now educated and strategically equipped to serve abused women. I'm also actively teaching other church leaders and pastors how they, too, can join me in the battle against domestic violence. Rescuing a victim of abuse is beautiful. Shaping a culture through education is game-changing.

3. Keep stories alive~ The media is quick to jump onto sensational stories but unfortunately has a terrible lack of follow-through. Stacy Peterson and Kathleen Savio were in the news for a short time, but they still have not found justice. That is a huge problem, and WE are the solution. We live in a time where each person can have a voice. This is the era of social media and when used skillfully and strategically, we can keep these victims in the minds and hearts of our society, and may even be able to re-define what is important to the mainstream media. After all, FoxNews, CNN, and MSNBC will share what you tell them is important. Tell them that domestic violence and intimate partner homicide is important to you. More importantly, tell them the names of the women whose stories cry out for justice. Write letters, send emails and make phone calls to these news leaders, and tell them that these are the kinds of stories that matter to you. This will keep these stories alive.

This is all just a start and is most certainly not all-inclusive in approach. But if we continue to do what we've done, then we will always get what we've always gotten. Status quo is not good enough. Let's start changing a fatally flawed system!

Peace,

Neil Schori

Out of the Darkness: Live in the Light

By Neil Schori

Why do we return to the very things that can harm us so badly?  Alcoholics return to the bottle many years after promising to leave it alone.  We eat well for a time and then fall off the wagon and go back to our overly-indulgent ways.  Each day people are diagnosed with lung cancer, but they refuse to stop smoking the cigarettes that will end up hastening the end of their lives.  It makes no sense, does it?  But we all lured back into the darkness, aren't we?

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul says it like this in the book of Ephesians 5:8~

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light...The Apostle Paul knew something about human nature.  He knew that we need to be reminded to live in the light, because for many different reasons, we tend to walk back into darkness of all varieties.  Why is that?  Why do we return to things and people and relationships that can hurt us so deeply?

My daughter, Ava, broke her arm very severely a little bit over a year ago.  It was such a bad break that it required surgery from one of the most recommended surgeons in the Chicago-land area.  Unfortunately, his schedule was full, and we had to delay her surgery for two weeks.  Ava, my effervescent two year old had to try to live life with her arm in a splint.  Finally the surgery happened and afterward, Ava's arm was put in a cast for three whole weeks.

We planned a celebration at the end of the three weeks, and called it "Ava's Cast-Off Party," and invited all of her neighborhood friends.  We were ready to party...and so was everyone.  Except for Ava.  Our little girl had become so familiar with having a cast, that she still just wanted to use her other arm.  She also had become so scared of the pain, that she was oblivious to the fact that her cast was now gone and she was as able as she ever was before.

Fear and familiarity do that, don't they?  That's why we stay in unhealthy relationships because we don't know how to live free, and the familiar seems so much easier to "do," even when it very well may kill us.  Here's what you have to realize: if you are being abused, you must break free from the fear and familiarity of your abuser.  Tell your story to trusted friends.  Refuse to be silent.  When you break your silence, he will start to lose his control over you.  And suddenly, you'll start to see that living in the light is a wonderful thing.  You were meant for it.

If you need help, I'm here.  I will help you find your way back to the light.

Peace,


Neil


Neil Schori is pastor of Naperville Christian Church.  Visit his website www.neilschori.com

"Remembering Friends and Family Who Have Gone On"

By Neil Schori

We don't always take time out of our Sunday morning gatherings at my church to honor specific holidays, but we did this past weekend for Memorial Day.  We remembered the sacrifice that many men and women made on our behalf so that we could live in the glorious freedom that we all appreciate here in the United States of America.  Remembering is important, isn't it?  In college for me, it was trying to remember that drinking too much was a bad idea.  Unfortunately, my memory was pretty short back then.  Thankfully, it's a lot better now.

On Memorial Day, my wife's Uncle Bret wrote this on his Facebook wall: "Remembering friends and family who have gone on."  Isn't that simply beautiful?  I don't do that enough because most of the time I'm just trying to keep up with "now."  How about you?  Do you take time to remember the people who have shaped your life?  Do you slow down enough in your fast-paced environment to allow yourself to process things and to actually feel your emotions?  Maybe you need to take a moment to do that right now.

While it is no longer Memorial Day, I still want to take a moment today to remember victims of intimate partner homicide.  I encourage you to do the same.  I thank God that I had the privilege of meeting Stacy Peterson.  She inadvertently directed me toward a path that has given greater definition and an even larger sense of purpose to my life.  Because of Stacy Peterson, my eyes and heart have been forever opened to women who suffer at the hands of the men who should care for them the very most. 

When I think about Stacy and her story, I don't only remember her.  I also think of the countless women out there whom have not yet broken out of their personal darkness.  I hope that today, as you live your life and try to keep motivated through the mundane that you'll also take time to remember.  Martin Luther King, Jr. once wrote: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."  As I remember victims of intimate partner homicide today, I take what Dr. King said very seriously.  I will continue to pray for justice for Stacy and fight for justice for women everywhere.  You are not alone.

Peace,

Neil

Neil Schori is Pastor of Naperville Christian Church.  You can follow him on his website www.neilschori.com

When Life Doesn't Make Sense

By Neil Schori

Sometimes life makes no sense at all. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been told things that have rocked my world as I once knew it. These things will have life-long implications for me and how I’ve viewed my existence. I also witnessed a terrible motorcycle accident that placed a man in the ICU. It is in times like these that I want to withdraw and throw away everything that I thought I knew about God and his plans and his providence.

I mean, couldn’t God just step in and STOP bad things from happening?! And when he doesn’t, what does that mean? Am I being punished for something? Is it divine retribution? Or is God not even there? Or even worse…does he just not care? All of these are real questions for those “dark nights of the soul,” aren’t they? Maybe you feel like that today, and you need some direction and truth. I know that I do!

Have you ever read the story of Lazarus? Lazarus was a man in Bible times, and he was known to be a personal friend of Jesus. Well, Lazarus got really sick, and his sisters sent a message to Jesus about it. They knew that if Jesus heard about it, he could make Lazarus well. After all, they’d seen him do this so many times. The blind could see and the paralyzed could walk again. Surely Lazarus would get the same care, right?

The Bible tells us that Jesus stayed where he was for TWO MORE DAYS after getting word of how sick Lazarus was. As a matter of fact, Lazarus died before Jesus even made it into town. That makes no sense to me! I mean, what could be more important than helping someone? I wouldn’t be a pastor for too long at my church if I treated people like that, would I? If this is what it means to be a friend of Jesus’, then I’ll pass on it!

In the Gospel of John 11: 14-15, we hear what Jesus had to say to his followers after he revealed to them that Lazarus had died~

. 14 … “Lazarus is dead, 15 and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

At this point, I’m thinking not only was Jesus LATE to heal Lazarus, but then Lazarus died, and Jesus had the guts to say that he was actually glad that he wasn’t there?! That really throws my understanding of God for a complete loop. But then I read the next part of the story and I start to see a little more clearly.

Jesus said that he was glad he wasn’t there to heal Lazarus, not because he didn’t care for Lazarus or because he had other things to do. He told his followers that he was glad that he wasn’t there so that they would believe. But Lazarus is dead? What can Jesus do now? It was already too late, right?

Jesus was so late to heal Lazarus that we find out Lazarus had been buried for 4 days by the time Jesus made his way into town. John 11: 41-44 says~

41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

Some of you today can’t make any sense of your lives. It seems like God has forgotten you and you don’t see any silver lining on the horizon. I want to assure you that God has not forgotten you. The story of Lazarus made no sense, either, but God was at work. And he was doing more than just healing. He was breathing life into something that was already dead. Allow that to bring you tremendous hope because in just the same way, he’s working in your lives, too.

Easter is just around the corner and my prayer for all of you is this: that you would trust God to work his resurrection power into your lives. He has not forgotten you. Just believe.

Peace,

Neil

Rhythm of Your Heart

By Neil Schori

How often do you talk to yourself? Quite a lot, don’t you? Come on, you can admit it. As a matter of fact, some mental health experts say that it is actually a marker of true mental health. In that case, I must be really healthy! Since November, I’ve been doing a lot of self-talk. I tell myself that I’m just in a busy season and that soon it will slow down and everything will be ok. I’m sick and tired of saying that to myself because it isn’t changing. This is one of the longest “seasons” on record!

In our fast-paced and results-oriented society, we’re told to keep running and running in our careers and with all of our kids’ extra-curricular activities. Even our vacations are rushed. We’ll surely rest one day, won’t we? Certainly retirement will be good, at least. Maybe, but we’ve never been guaranteed retirement, have we?

Here’s what I’m learning, and starting to integrate into my self-talk mantras: running non-stop is neither efficient nor good for me. And no one else will tell me to slow down, either. I have to care enough for myself to recognize that slowing down is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, slowing down can make me a lot more productive, and will help me to keep firing on all cylinders in a healthy and well-rounded way.

Maybe you can relate to all of this. Why is it that we think that we have to keep running so fast, anyway? What are we trying to prove? A lot of us keep going because we think that everything depends on us. I used to think that, but now I believe that is both unhealthy and untrue. When we fall for that lie, we start running around so quickly that we are good to no one…particularly not to ourselves. When we do that, we are out of a healthy rhythm and we’re inefficient and something will break in us. It may be our sanity, and it may be our health.

It reminds me of a heart condition called atrial fibrillation. It is one of the leading causes of blood clots that kill people each year. A healthy heart beats with a united and purposeful rhythm, but atrial fibrillation causes the heart to beat erratically, and without unity and strength. What happens next is the blood that is being pumped does not circulate properly and tends to pool and to clot. It isn’t that the heart is not beating. It is actually beating like mad. It is beating quickly and inefficiently…and for the physical heart, that can be disastrous. And just maybe, it is for our emotional hearts, too.

If I’m describing you today, I want you to do something with me. Say no to someone when they ask you for something, and then take that time and do something for yourself. It isn’t selfish or bad or uncaring. Let all of that go. Get a cup of coffee all by yourself or take a long walk or do yoga. Don’t give a long explanation for why you are saying no because that just makes you sound guilty. Just say no and be silent. I promise you this: you won’t regret it…and you’ll be healthier for it. How is your life’s rhythm?


Peace,

Neil Schori 

www.neilschori.com

Random Acts of Kindness

By Neil Schori

Yesterday was a great day! It was one of those days where all things seemed right in the world. Even in the very midst of challenging times, there was still that peace that the Apostle Paul so aptly described as “beyond all understanding.” It started with an ordinary trip to work. A few minutes in, I had this sense that something was about to happen…in a good way. It was almost as if God was in the car with me…and I’m not one of those people who makes that claim very often. It really felt that way. There was a sense of expectation. I took a second and just asked for God’s guidance and that he would live through my actions for the whole day.

The next thing I knew, I saw a homeless man pan-handling on the corner of 55N and Weber Road in Bolingbrook (Chicago suburbs). It is common to see the homeless in this place, but I’d never seen this man before. I tried to slow down to see the man, but the light was green and there was a lot of traffic behind me, so I had to pass him and I kept driving. I suddenly had the sense that I was supposed to go back to him and to give him the $3 in my pocket. So, I turned around and passed him again, and drove down a hill to a gas station across the interstate, and parked my car. I walked up a muddy hill and walked over to the man through some parked cars waiting to exit the interstate.

I told him that I felt absolutely compelled to give him the money, and he thanked me. We ended up talking about a bunch of things for 5-10 minutes. Before I left, he said: “you know, it’s my birthday, today. I’m 56. Born February 17th, 1955.” I responded: “I’m so sorry you have to be out here on your birthday!” That’s all I had. Nothing to make his life better and no more money to give. No words of wisdom. Period.

I left him, and when I got to my car, I had a pressing thought: Take him a birthday cake. Make him feel loved and valued and worthwhile…like humans are supposed to feel.

I put a quick message on Facebook about my experience, and challenged people to stop at that intersection to celebrate Terry’s 56th birthday. A few friends actually did it! Marco Micola and I took him a birthday cake, but sadly, he was gone. I was nearly disappointed, but then I realized that God had put me at the right place at the right time. He accomplished through me and my friends what he wanted to, and that was enough.

Later in the evening while sitting at home with my family, I went onto the news site HuffingtonPost. It said, please tweet us your favorite “random acts of kindness,” because today is “Random Acts of Kindness Day.” “

So, I sent the story to HuffingtonPost (the link to the story!), and of all the submissions, ours was chosen in the top 15 Random Acts of Kindness for the day! What a great honor. Thanks to HuffingtonPost for it!

But here is what I know…there is a way to live in that “sweet spot” each day…by being open and “present,” and asking God to guide your steps and to give you the eyes to see what he wants you to see. If you do that, I promise you that you will live in a way that is anything but random.

Do acts of kindness each day, and you will sense greater satisfaction than any kind of random-living could bring you. Be proactive and LIVE. Don’t just react to life. Truly LIVE.

Peace,

Neil

www.neilschori.com

Resolutions: How Are YOU Doing?

By Neil Schori

So we're about three weeks into this new year and new decade...and I'm wondering how you're doing with sticking to your resolutions.  The crowd at my gym is already thinning out, and I've seen many posts by friends of mine on Facebook and Twitter announcing to the cyber-world that they've already fallen off their diet-wagons.  Resolutions irritate the heck out of me!  Do you know why?  Because I've hardly ever seen anyone follow through to their goals.  They just don't work and I've been told over and over that if the way a person is doing something doesn't work, that the method must change before different results will be seen.

For some people, resolutions don't "really" matter.  And what I mean by that is that the consequences of not following-through for most resolutions are minimal.  But for abused women, our lack of follow-through has dire consequences.  Kathleen Savio may not have died if it weren't for a lack of follow-through.  Stacy Peterson may not have disappeared, either.  So we must change.  We must make a renewed commitment to these women whom are crying out for help.  Our places of worship must be islands of refuge for abused women instead of acting as the seal on a doomed fate.  Our police officers and our courts must be held accountable for abuse of power and to uphold the rights of tragically terrorized and forgotten women.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said: "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who perpetrates it.  He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."  Dr. King believed so much in over-turning deeply entrenched social injustice that he paid for it with his life.

So, today, I want to make my recommitment to abused women in this public forum.  This is greater than a resolution.  It is more than a whim.  It is connected straight to the very heart of God.  

If you are abused and afraid and have no place to turn, you can turn to Naperville Christian Church.  We will not betray you nor will we minimize your problems.  If you allow us the privilege, we will walk alongside you and help you see and find a better way.  We will become friends and family to you.  We will never tell you that you should just go back to your abuser or that if you were a better wife that he wouldn't have hit you.  We will listen to you and we will let you know that you have value and that you are valued.

I am fully dedicated to this cause, but I know that I am NOT enough.  If you are a pastor or leader in a faith community and you are interested in learning about how you can step up and make a difference in the lives of many women, please call me or email me.  It would be my honor to share my passion with you.  Will you join me in this struggle against domestic violence and perhaps even more importantly, for the hearts and lives of these women?

Peace,

Neil Schori
Lead Pastor, NCC
napervillechristian.org
630.983.5600
neil@napervillechristian.org

Shalom!

By Neil Schori

This past week has been tough...I mean really tough.  Sometimes I can be like the little boy who "cried wolf," but bear with me on this one.  One of my little twins got sick and at one point had a 104 degree temperature and she was just a moment away from hospitalization.  My sweet little Ava was diagnosed with both Pneumonia and a bacterial blood infection.  The doctor told me this was very rare.  Well, thank-you-very-much for your statistical analysis, doc, but this is MY daughter, and she is really sick!  

Do you ever feel like the rest of the world should have a greater respect for your circumstances when hell has arrived at your door?  It never does though, does it?  Life keeps going, and bills have to be paid, and you still have to work for a paycheck, and most people pay little to no attention to your seemingly God-forsaken circumstances.  In the midst of Ava's sickness with a capital "S," I was thrown into enormous relational strife in my extended family, and two people in my faith community were hospitalized with some extremely serious conditions.  No end in sight.  Help me.  DEEP BREATH...

Throughout all of these things, I needed peace more than anything.  Rest for my rapidly beating heart and respite for my weary soul.  But I needed peace that was more than the absence of struggle.  I needed that "peace that surpasses all understanding," as the Apostle Paul so aptly described in 4th chapter of the biblical book of Philippians.  But where was it?  I needed something real instead of just theoretical.  

The Gospel of Luke tells us in chapter 2 the Christmas story.  Not the one about Santa and his sleigh.  But about Jesus and his entry into the mess of our lives:

Luke 2: 9-14~ "An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them "Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.  Today in the town of David a savior has been born; he is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."  Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

If you are reading this post, there's a good chance that you or someone you know has been touched by the evil of domestic violence that has likely left you with a voracious desire for true and lasting peace.  I have good news for you today.  The God who loved you so much that he sent his son to earth to suffer for your sin and mine, offers you peace and hope that can't be taken away by any tyranny of man.  I asked God to bring me peace, and he did.  But it was in an unexpected form.  He didn't wave a magic wand take away my struggles or give me the warm and satisfying physical comfort of a fireplace with a side of good hot chocolate.  He didn't even give me silence or the absence of strife.  He did something even better.

You see, God's desire for you and for me...no matter what our circumstances are, is for shalom.  Shalom is the Hebrew word for peace but it means more than what we typically think of as peace.  It isn't the absence of something.  It is the presence of God.  God IS peace.  God whispered to me that he will always be with me, no matter what happens.  And that was just what I needed.  My prayer for you today is that the God of shalom would overwhelm you with the knowledge that you are not forgotten and the feeling that he IS with you.  

Your struggles may not end today, but with you, I wait with great expectation for that day of peace when God will "...wipe every tear from our eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4)

Breathing deeply while fighting at your side.

Shalom,

Neil