"Remembering Friends and Family Who Have Gone On"

By Neil Schori

We don't always take time out of our Sunday morning gatherings at my church to honor specific holidays, but we did this past weekend for Memorial Day.  We remembered the sacrifice that many men and women made on our behalf so that we could live in the glorious freedom that we all appreciate here in the United States of America.  Remembering is important, isn't it?  In college for me, it was trying to remember that drinking too much was a bad idea.  Unfortunately, my memory was pretty short back then.  Thankfully, it's a lot better now.

On Memorial Day, my wife's Uncle Bret wrote this on his Facebook wall: "Remembering friends and family who have gone on."  Isn't that simply beautiful?  I don't do that enough because most of the time I'm just trying to keep up with "now."  How about you?  Do you take time to remember the people who have shaped your life?  Do you slow down enough in your fast-paced environment to allow yourself to process things and to actually feel your emotions?  Maybe you need to take a moment to do that right now.

While it is no longer Memorial Day, I still want to take a moment today to remember victims of intimate partner homicide.  I encourage you to do the same.  I thank God that I had the privilege of meeting Stacy Peterson.  She inadvertently directed me toward a path that has given greater definition and an even larger sense of purpose to my life.  Because of Stacy Peterson, my eyes and heart have been forever opened to women who suffer at the hands of the men who should care for them the very most. 

When I think about Stacy and her story, I don't only remember her.  I also think of the countless women out there whom have not yet broken out of their personal darkness.  I hope that today, as you live your life and try to keep motivated through the mundane that you'll also take time to remember.  Martin Luther King, Jr. once wrote: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."  As I remember victims of intimate partner homicide today, I take what Dr. King said very seriously.  I will continue to pray for justice for Stacy and fight for justice for women everywhere.  You are not alone.

Peace,

Neil

Neil Schori is Pastor of Naperville Christian Church.  You can follow him on his website www.neilschori.com

Why Not Survivors?

By Sheryl McCollum 

They are often called leaders, the “old guard”, civil rights legends, the “last from the movement”, witnesses, but never are they called survivors of homicide.  I had the privilege of hearing Andrew Young speak on April 3, 2010 marking the 42nd anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr’s assassination.

Andrew Young is the former Mayor of Atlanta, Former Congressman and Former Ambassador to the UN; but before all of that he was Martin’s friend. Andrew Young was with Martin in Memphis when he was shot on that balcony.  He still misses his friend.

Rev. Billy Kyles was standing right next to Dr. King when that fatal shot rang out.  “I wondered for many years, I don’t know how long, why was I there at that crucial moment.” The Reverend Samuel Kyles, best known as Billy, pauses. “I knew it was more than coincidence. I just didn’t know what.”   Forty years later, Kyles says, he still doesn’t have the words for what he experienced on 4 April 1968. Standing on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, he watched as his friend and fellow preacher, Dr. Martin Luther King, was shot and killed.   

Dr. King said in his last speech: “Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain, and I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the Promised Land”.  Rev Kyles says now that “God revealed to me why I was there,” he says. “Crucifixions have to have witnesses.” And so, he speaks today, not to describe his own feelings but to tell the story, again and again.

Andrew Young was just 36 years old.  Jesse Jackson was only 27.  Rev. Kyle’s was but 33.  These were young men. 

They were young and they were friends.  Dr. King said that Ralph Abernathy was the best friend he had in this world.  They did everything together.  They marched; they shared motel rooms, jail cells and family time together with their wives and children.  Abernathy went to jail for Dr. King and the movement 44 times.  How many of us have a friend that believes in us enough to go to jail with us or for us 44 times?  Dr. King died in Abernathy’s arms. 

These men were not simply eye witnesses to a murder – they are survivors of homicide.  As victims of crime go these men are among the most famous. Because of their fame and notoriety they often are ask to talk about what happened on that fateful day.  They are rarely afforded the right not to speak about it.  Never have I ever heard anyone say can you? Are you able?  Instead questions start flying about the events of April 4, 1968.

They will be asked to tell they stories again and again like Rev. Kyle’s said and they will speak about the events not their feelings or trauma but please remember the next time you heard from one of these men they are not just talking about the famous civil rights leader but they are talking about their friend.

Sheryl McCollum, MS
Director
Cold Case Investigative Research Institute 

The Drum Major In All Of Us

By Gaetane Borders

On February 4, 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered a profound message entitled “The Drum Major Instinct” at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta.  He described this instinct as the common human desire to standout distinctively from everyone else. Understanding that this instinct is engrained in the human psyche, Dr. King encouraged us to utilize this yearning for the betterment of mankind, as he preached …” the great issue of life is to harness the drum major instinct. It is a good instinct if you don't distort it and pervert it. Don't give it up. Keep feeling the need for being important. Keep feeling the need for being first. But I want you to be the first in love. I want you to be the first in moral excellence. I want you to be the first in generosity." 

Dr. King delivered this powerful speech only two months prior to his assassination on April 4, 1968.  Ironically, he shared with the congregation how he wanted his legacy defined at his funeral.  The nation was able to hear parts of his profound message, as it was played at his televised funeral service.

If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long. (Yes) And every now and then I wonder what I want them to say. Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize—that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards—that’s not important. Tell them not to mention where I went to school. (Yes)

I’d like somebody to mention that day that Martin Luther King, Jr., tried to give his life serving others. (Yes)

I’d like for somebody to say that day that Martin Luther King, Jr., tried to love somebody.

I want you to say that day that I tried to be right on the war question. (Amen)

I want you to be able to say that day that I did try to feed the hungry. (Yes)

And I want you to be able to say that day that I did try in my life to clothe those who were naked. (Yes)

I want you to say on that day that I did try in my life to visit those who were in prison. (Lord)

I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity. (Yes)

Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. (Amen) Say that I was a drum major for peace. (Yes) I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. (Yes) I won’t have any money to leave behind. I won’t have the fine and luxurious things of life to leave behind. But I just want to leave a committed life behind. (Amen) And that’s all I want to say.—Dr. Martin Luther King

Today is the observance of Martin Luther King Day here in the United States, and his words ring as true today as they did decades ago.  His message does not only refer to race relations or economic disparities, but also to how individuals treat one another regardless of race.  Dr. King understood that despite the obvious color and cultural differences that exist, we are all connected as one.  We are each accountable to protect each other, and have a moral responsibility to understand each other’s pain. 

Although each of us has the capability to be less self-centered and motivated for selfish reasons, it sometimes takes a drastic event to bring out the servant leader in each of us.  I, personally, witnessed this recently.  You see…several days ago, the world learned that Haiti had suffered a catastrophic earthquake, and that hundreds of thousands were feared dead.  This horrific situation, as tragic as it is, has brought out the best in everyone.  The outpouring of love, empathy, and support has been overwhelming.  As a Haitian-American, I can say that such empathy and thoughtfulness has sustained me in the recent week. 

While it’s never too late to understand the significance of being a drum major for peace, justice, and righteousness, it’s always better to have this understanding earlier rather than later. As tragic as it is, what is happening in Haiti can offer an opportune time to discuss the importance of empathy and service with children. Treating others as they would want to be treated is such an important life skill because one never thinks that a traumatic event will happen to us…that is…until it happens.  In that moment, each of us yearns for others to care.  If you don’t already, try volunteering as a family at a homeless shelter; tutoring children in a Women’s shelter; collecting cans to donate money; or visiting youths battling cancer at the local hospital.  What ever you choose to do…simply do something, because imparting the notion of the drum major of which Dr. King spoke to our children is sure to impact the world as we know it.