Gone Girl: Fiction or Dangerous Reality?

By Amy Robinson

The movie, “Gone Girl” with Ben Affleck came out this week. I recently saw the trailer for this film and I was horrified. It felt like living through the week that my family and I spent searching for my sister all over again. The difference is – this piece of fiction, based on a book of the same name, actually lends credence and credibility to the idea that the missing person is not worth looking for, and that her significant other is just an innocent victim of some spontaneous, ridiculously complicated and complex plot to falsely implicate him.

In reality, it doesn’t really happen that way. To quote a District Attorney, “It’s not the lunatic down the street that’s going to kill you. It’s the person you fall asleep next to every night.” If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s most likely a duck – not some strange, elaborate conspiracy to frame the penguin and call him a duck.

When I was younger if I had seen an article like this, I would have rolled my eyes. I would have said, “Oh please. It’s fictional! Get over it, Lady!” Well, to some degree, I can understand that. I enjoy fantastical, elaborate storytelling more than most. My mind was blown just as much as yours at the end of “The Sixth Sense,” and I still understand that fiction is a great source of entertainment and often thought-provoking discussion. It’s that last point that gives me pause, though.

Now that I’ve lived through having to search for my sister- knowing in my bones what had already transpired, but unable to get rid of that vague sense of hope that she was still alive somewhere – I have become the loudmouth that would have once caused me to scoff.

As human beings, we look to our stories, our fiction, to form our Ethos. When our children are growing up, we read the “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” to emphasize the virtue of honesty, “The Little Engine That Could” to champion perseverance and tenacity, and “Green Eggs and Ham” to encourage them to try new things and be adventurous. We don’t change all that much as adults. We still derive our thought processes and point our ethical compasses towards the lessons that we get from our stories. The Bible, whatever else it is, at its core, is literature; it’s a story, or more precisely a bunch of stories. While we know that Darth Vader didn’t really tromp around force choking people in a galaxy far, far away, we still admire the values of courage, compassion, and fighting against the forces of tyranny and fear that are espoused by those films.

Timing the Release of Gone Girl

“Gone Girl” purports the idea that victims of intimate partner violence are likely inventing some elaborate drama in order to implicate their significant others in a crime that was never committed. This is not just far-fetched and unlikely in reality – it’s dangerous, particularly to release it during Domestic Violence Awareness Month into a culture that is ripe to finally be paying proper attention to the issue of intimate partner violence. It lends credibility to assailants that do not deserve credibility.

This narrative suggests that every murderer who has ever been implicated by his/her intimate partner’s notes or journal entries could be just an innocent victim of an elaborate scheme to discredit and incarcerate him/her. (Notice I give attention to both genders here. Jodi Arias is a perfect example of a female perpetrator who falsely claimed after the murder of her boyfriend, Travis, that she was the victim all along and he was beating her, despite all evidence to the contrary.)

I can see the headlines: “ACCUSED MURDERER ACQUITTED, DEFENSE USES MOVIE PLOT TO SWAY JURY.” Picture a loved one sitting on a witness stand, reading from a victim’s journal that reads “I’m afraid he is going to kill me,” being grilled by a defense attorney. “Are you familiar with the story of ‘Gone Girl’? Are you telling this court that it is impossible that your loved one invented all of this and planted a false journal?” Anyone sitting on the jury who saw the movie or read the book instantly has reasonable doubt, even though the story is a complete fabrication, invented in the mind of an author, brought to life by a filmmaker, and released at the most irresponsible point possible.


I ask that each of us be mindful that when we go to see a film, keep in mind that it is a fictional invention of the author, and not a factual account of events. I further ask that filmmakers and marketers be more sensitive to the timing of the films they release.

Releasing this film during Domestic Violence Awareness Month is nothing short of hurtful and offensive to those of us who have lived through events such as these, without the fantastical twist at the end, just a dead body and a huge hole left in all of our lives.

Amy Robinson is a voice actress offering a wide range of inflections and accents, bringing a variety of characters right off the page. Amy’s voice is fun, friendly, and very versatile.

Amy has a stake in Domestic Violence Awareness Month, losing her sister to murder in 2011. She created the blog, Justice for Nique, in memory of her murdered sister as a way of releasing her own emotions and being a resource for others.

Visit Amy’s Website: AmyRobinsonVO.Com

Mother Searching for Missing Son Finds He Was in Morgue for Over 6 Months in Maryland

By Cynthia Caron

Victor Brian Banks, Jr., age 26, known as Brian Banks, was in a car accident on August 6, 2011 Takoma Park, MD. He was brought to Washington Adventist Hospital and fled the hospital the following morning on August 7, 2011. The reason he left the hospital to this date is "unknown." Brian did suffer with some depression but was not a troubled young man…fact is, he was a good son with many friends and was in the process of moving from Ohio to be near his mom in College Park, Maryland. When his mother, Denise Banks, could not reach or find Brian she filed a missing police report. Nobody knows what transpired from that point, however, it is felt that Brian was not given a proper "missing person" search because of being an adult missing male. For six months the organization, LostNMissing Inc, posted on nearly every social media site virtually possible in the search for Brian, as well as submitting his information to other organizations and entered his missing status into NamUs. (www.namus.gov) NamUs is the National Organization for Missing and Unidentified. The purpose for the national data bank is to hold all missing and unidentified in the United States with the hopes that those unidentified can have their names and families contacted for proper burials. LostNMissing's NamUs Coordinator, Billie Lynnell Cox, entered Victor Brian Banks, Jr. in the NamUs system on October 21, 2011 shortly after learning of his missing status. In the meantime, his mother was desperately searching for her son only to hear "adults have the right to go missing if they choose." Ms. Banks stated "I know my son. He never would have up and left without letting me know of his every whereabouts." She expressed this same comment over and again to police agencies from Maryland to Toledo, Ohio. Brian's mother learned that the Prince George County Police Department had his car impounded from the auto accident and told her they sent a letter at her College Park Address and sent one to Briain's home address in Toledo, Ohio. Neither letter was ever received. Because the police stated they had the "letter in the file" they had Brian's automobile destroyed at a towing company in Laurel, MD. To add further complications, Ms. Banks asked where her son's belongings were and was told by the PGCPD and towing company that "They did not have any of my son's belongings", stated Ms. Banks. Further, on September 15, 2011 and January 23, 2012 she was told that there "were no accidents on record for Victor Brian Banks." Frustrated, and saddened, Ms. Banks continued to push to get her needed answers. On February 1, 2012 Ms. Banks learned of her son's fate. Authorities explained that on the very day that he fled the hospital his body was located without any identification on his person. Brian was brought to the Baltimore City Morgue, which is a beautiful newly built state-of-the-art facility. His autopsy was performed and due to no physical trauma he was preserved within the facility to await identification. He was listed at the morgue as "John Doe." However, even that status fell through the cracks of the system. Especially to be noted is that Brian had, on his right arm, his own mother's name tattooed. It read "God bless Denise M. Banks" with a cross. The very same identifying characteristic that was placed on all of his missing posters. The very same name on nearly every police call and visit made by Ms. Banks. Had the release of a John Doe with the identifying tattoo was released to the public, he could have been named and his mother saved from months of heartache in the roller coaster ride of trying to find a missing child. Her child. Cynthia Caron, President and Founder of LostNMissing said " Had Brian been entered by the Medical Examiner's office into NamUs as unidentified, there is a good chance that he would have matched to his missing case on NamUs." She further added, "It is our hopes that all Medical Examiner's in the country learn of NamUs and the potential it has to not only hold missing loved ones, but more importantly, to bring loved ones back to their families who are left in morgues across the country as John and Jane Does." In Brian's case, remarkably he was very well preserved and the possibility exists that a public viewing may be possible. A mother now grieves the loss of her only child, her beautiful Brian. She gains strength in knowing that he is in God's heaven with his loved Grandmother and those who've passed before him. She vows to spend her free time towards educating police and medical examiners of the NamUs system and helping others who have missing loved ones. As Ms. Banks explained, "There is no such thing that an adult has the right to go missing and for the police to not take interest, after all…that adult IS somebody's child." Services and a Celebration of Life is in the planning stages and will be held on February 18, 2012 in Scottsville, Virginia. Location and times to be announced. FACEBOOK:  " In memory of Brian Banks"   Cynthia Caron President/Founder LostNMissing, Inc. PH: 603.548.6548 www.lostnmissing.com

One Mother's Journey in Giving and Finding Hope

By: Christy Davis

Mother’s Day... special to me growing up as I learned about unconditional love from my Mom; then when I became a mother taking on the job of shaping new lives. I knew enough to be scared, yet excited at the same time. The best job I’ve ever had has been the job of Mom, one I loved even on the days of tearing out hair wondering “what was I thinking”, believing that I could do this right. Two great kids with personalities on opposite ends of the spectrum, and years between them, but good buddies nonetheless. Mothers day when children are young bring things like breakfast in bed, handmade gifts from school everything from a handprint with poem to clay figurines with initials carved backwards, things that are my most treasured belongings...now it brings memories of a Child Lost, along with the joy of my daughter.

Austin came to us almost five years after his sister Anita. a very social child, never fearful of making new friends, or talking with adults. We were always told what a charming young man he was and that he’d do well, even as we stressed over grades, homework and responsible behavior. As he grew, he continued to make us proud of the man he was becoming, making the mistakes that we all make, but finding himself and a direction for his life. Austin learned to cook as a young man and was good at it, working at a well known seafood restaurant chain as he studied to be a computer technician. He loved fixing us a favorite dish, or conferring on the best seasonings to use while grilling, or suggesting different ways to cook something; that part of him always surprised me a little, but in the best possible way. Austin’s quiet sweetness is something I miss more than I can ever express, especially the times he’d come to me and say Mom can we talk….and he’d share parts of himself with me.

Austin was 26 years old at the time of his disappearance in June 2007 when he took a taxi ride that ended at Jax Jewelry and Pawn Shop at the intersection of 103rd Street and Blanding Blvd in Jacksonville, FL around 12:30pm. Police have confirmed that Austin bought a shotgun there, and according to the clerk, put the gun in a duffle bag (a few inches of the barrel sticking out) and left the shop on foot which he wouldn’t normally have done as he had chronic pain in both knees and walking distances was difficult. Leads have been followed, many large scale searches conducted, but none have panned out. There has been no access of personal accounts or cell phone use since that day. We also later learned that he never cashed his last paycheck from work. Austin left all personal belongings behind including a laptop and backpack that he never left home without. www.FindAustinDavis.com

My heart was broken that my son was out there somewhere, that he needed help and law enforcement was limited in what they could do, and I didn’t know where to turn. We began to search on the internet for help, listing Austin’s case on every website we could find, trying to get information out to as many people as possible. We set up a website, email account, and phone numbers for leads to be sent or called in, we started putting out information using networking sites, and followed leads that took us all over the state searching. One of the most challenging things is keeping the media interested in the case, willing to keep Austin’s face and story in the news, especially because he is a male adult and the common perception from the general public and law enforcement is that if you just give them a little time they’ll show up.

Time and time again we’ve called on the people of Jacksonville and trained search and rescue teams from all over the state of Florida and beyond, and are blessed by their willingness to come to the aid of strangers. Now our desire is to pass that on through the creation of Finder’s Hope. In Austin's absence we choose to Celebrate his Life by bringing focus to the needs of many, that just like us continue the search, regardless of the months or years that it may take.

Finder’s Hope, a non-profit organization, is dedicated to bringing Hope to those with a Missing loved one through Direct Support and Services, Advocacy, and Education and Awareness.

In our pursuit of how best to help ourselves and others we attend conferences, training seminars, are in training with a canine in the detection of human remains with First Response Search and Rescue Team (FRST) based in Tallahassee, FL, SAR Tech III certified through the National Association of Search and Rescue, and testing for the next level SAR Tech II just after Mother’s Day. We are also called upon when needed by CUE Center for Missing persons out of North Carolina, the organization that set us on the right path from the very beginning of our personal search, and has continued to Mentor me in understanding all aspects of Missing Persons Cases.

I know now that one of my roles in life is to help or find help for those that others may not; male or female, child or adult, pretty or not, young or old, walking the streets or an honor roll student, speak for those that can’t, for all the Lost Stories, pray, because in God’s eyes we are all truly equal. We are here to help. Anyone with a missing loved one is invited to contact Finder’s Hope for assistance.

www.FindersHope.org

My hope is always that we find Austin. Whether we find him alive, or find his remains, I want to bring him home. I pray that someone, somewhere, has information that could lead us to him and is brave enough to come forward and say, I know where he is…or I saw him that day, and this is what happened.

One person can make the difference to our family, and can be the difference between never knowing what happened, and being able to bring a loved one home.

Our story submitted with loving memories, and hope.

Christy Davis

Austin’s Mom

The Dangers Of Using Date Of Birth on Missing Love One’s Posters

By Cynthia Caron

It is very stressful and difficult for a family when their loved one becomes missing. Many times the first thought is to get a poster made and start hanging in the neighborhood. This is a good thing, however, it is not a wise situation to place a missing loved one’s date of birth on a missing poster, internet banner or website. While this has been standard practice for many years, LostNMissing Inc. is trying to change that practice.

At LostNMissing, we never post publicly our missing loved one’s date of birth. We believe it is an easy target for someone to steal the identity of a missing person. At the same time, it can literally throw an investigation off in the wrong direction.

Let’s take for example when an adult becomes missing. For one, the police sometimes have the mentality that “adults have the right to go missing” and shouldJane Doe go missing from Colorado, and her identity becomes stolen and credit card purchases start happening in Ohio, it can waste valuable time on behalf of the police in having to prove if in fact that is Jane Doe. Worse, they may simply tell the family that “your daughter is alive and well and living in Ohio and because she is an adult and has the right to go missing we are going to close the case.” Can you imagine?

I do not understand the point in putting someone’s date of birth on the missing poster. Their age, yes. Absolutely. Should a loved one be missing for a couple of years, one could update the poster with Jane Doe, 22 at time of missing in 2008. Age 24 in 2010. That is all that is needed. I especially become very concerned when I see children who are missing and their posters contain their date of birth! They are the easiest targets of all due to their “clean credit history.” Let’s hope police agencies and other missing organizations take notice and consider the practice of not adding date of births.


Cynthia L. Caron
President/Founder
LostNMissing, Inc
Cell: 603-548-6548
Office: 603-965-4621
www.lostnmissing.com

OPRAH, JANE VALEZ MITCHELL AND THE NANCY GRACE SHOW!

By Cyndi Caron

I’m going to be brutally honest here.  Families of missing loved ones have a better chance of winning their state lottery, or in receiving an all expense paid trip around the world, including flights and hotel stays, than they do of getting their missing family member on those shows. 


Why?  Because for one most of what is presented has been on schedule for weeks by the producers and writers as well as the already interruptions when breaking news happens such as the devastating Haiti earthquake.  Unless there is serious foul play involved, in which your local media is constantly portraying, and the surroundings of your missing loved one includes sensationalism, such as the spouse is a suspect who has been found to be committing adultery after your loved one goes missing and more so if children involved, along with your missing “Suzy” having a pristine background, it’s highly unlikely that her status will be aired. 
Unfortunately, it’s television.  The more scandal the better chance of your “story” being aired.


When is the last time you’ve seen a missing overweight runaway teen with acne, or a missing black male teenager portrayed on a nationally syndicated news or show?  Is physical beauty a necessary requirement to capture the attention of viewers?  Or as some African Americans will say “only white missing kids make it to those shows?” 


What about missing adults? Why aren’t they portrayed? Is it due to the wrong mentality that “adults have a right to go missing?”  Yes, nationally syndicated news agencies picked up on Ohio’s “missing mom” Tiffany Tehan, but that was only after it was realized she was spotted on video cameras weeks before with a mystery male. Yes, that story was indeed picked up due to the startling fact that missing mom was seemingly becoming a “runaway mom” leaving behind a church-going husband and her infant daughter. Personally, no adult has the right to go missing unless they are willing to notify their local police agency first. They have a right to leave, but to go missing? No.

So what are the criteria and how do families of missing get their loved ones on these shows?


Let’s start off with Nancy Grace’s show.  While at times her show can be quite interesting, it is nearly always about the same case over and again with “breaking news” that happened days or even weeks ago and already known from online readers.  While Nancy “gets to the matter” and nearly asks all the questions, that you the viewer want to know, her show is really not set up to portray multiple cases in an equal amount of airtime.  Shame because from those I’ve talked with would love to see each nightly episode featuring two new missing cases each eve with no carry over, unless real breaking news exists. This could then be announced in a brief comment prior to commercial interruptions.  Course, I’m neither an executive producer nor Nancy Grace’s producer so I will leave well enough said.  On a positive note, Nancy does have a great blog online that various cases and missing loved ones are portrayed.  There have been a time or two in which I’ve seen some of our LostNMissing loved ones’ banners posted and I welcome her staff to utilize any and as many as they like at any time.  Banners are not copyright and all we ask is that they are kept intact as designed when posted.


Jane’s show, which I find has a more variety of topics, along with entire teams of professionals who voice their opinions and present updated facts to a case, is also extremely difficult to reach as producers schedule either far in advance or very near or immediate to whatever has happened the day before.  It’s unfortunate as I feel her show is probably one of the most ideal to have a variety of missing loved ones portrayed.  I invite Jane’s show to go through our website and feel free to pick and choose as many missing loved one’s banners and flash on the screen before or after the show anytime.


Oh Oprah! I don’t know what to say other than its hard to explain to family members of missing loved ones that it is nearly impossible to reach Oprah or any of her producers.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  I think as a non runner I could win the Boston Marathon before I could achieve having a missing loved one portrayed on Oprah’s show.  It doesn’t matter that I personally beat Oprah, by one place, on the Ms. Twitterworld Contest.  I came in 16th and she in 17th place.  Even though she has over a million followers, to my 4300, you can bet I celebrated…a little anyhow. Did I really beat out Oprah on Twitter? I doubt it. For one, Oprah is so spread out far and wide with her many ventures that I really wonder if it’s Oprah tweeting anyhow.  It’s my guess that one of her hundreds of “assistants” represents her.  Or could it be that she was just “too kind” to tweet her followers to vote for her? Let the “little guy” win. Either way it doesn’t matter as it was merely a silly contest. 


What does matter is what are the true criteria that I can tell crying parents, in emotional turmoil, as to why nationally syndicated shows would rather use valuable airtime listing all the mistresses of Tiger Woods and Jessie James as opposed to listing even a handful of missing loved ones? Yes, even adults who are missing have distraught and grieving parents who beg for any airtime possible for their missing child.  Ask the parents of Jeramy Carl Burt, Brian Sullivan’s mom, or the family of missing Beverly Meadows.  They would give anything to have their loved ones portrayed.  Or the grandmother of 15 year old Peyton Borden, a young black male who bolted from an Illinois courthouse in the fall of 2009 after learning that he would have to go back and live with his father in Georgia, instead of residing with his maternal grandmother since his own mom was killed in a car accident when Peyton was only 8 years old, only to never be seen again!  Perhaps talking with the family of Thomas and Jimmy Zinza would be ideal.  Two brothers, both missing years apart.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Jimmy went missing in 1992 and could be living on the streets anywhere in the US and a nationally syndicated show could literally bring about recognition.  Thomas went missing, under strange circumstances from a hotel room in PA while traveling on business from Hawaii in 2008. Imagine the turmoil their family endures, it’s incomprehensible.


I will close this with a challenge.  Which nationally syndicated show will make contact with LostNMissing to offer to portray one of the many missing loved ones that we represent who has never received their much needed national airtime? Will it be Oprah? Nancy Grace? Or the Jane Valez Mitchell show? Stay tuned as I will update in my next report.  My phone line is open.


Cynthia L. Caron 
President/Founder 
LostNMissing, Inc.
PH: 603.548.6548
www.lostnmissing.com

Vulnerable Adults Who Go Missing

By Cynthia L. Caron

The passing of Sarah Rogers, 29, a young mother from New Hampshire who went missing and located deceased is not the first in which a loved one reported missing is remarked, by law enforcement, as "an adult has the right to go missing" to the family. Police had only entered Sarah's name into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) two days after Sarah vanished. Due to her emotional state she should have been entered immediately.  Had she been entered, the Maine State Troopers who happened upon her vehicle would have done a more thorough search upon knowing a vulnerable and endangered adult was reported missing.  Barrington, N.H., police said a statewide "BOLO" [Be on the Look Out] alert was issued the morning Sarah Rogers went missing. That warning would not have been seen by Maine police, however.

This happens far too often in all areas of the country. Yes, there are adults who decide to leave home or family members who may panic and report a loved one missing because they failed to call home or check in while living away or on vacation.  However, law enforcement need to really listen to family when they exclaim that their loved one "would not just go away and not make contact."  More often than not the family is correct.

According to a recent article by Susan Donaldson James, of ABC News, she reported a conversation with the President of The National Center for Missing Persons, now known as "Let's Bring Them Home", in which LaDonna  Meridith states "There isn't much attention [or care] put on missing adults cases in America because quite frankly, it isn't illegal for an adult to go missing,"  She also stated "We have the right to come and go as we please," she said. "Unfortunately, this mentality has crippled any system that is in place to help find missing adults." 

Many states with Silver Alerts have no provisions for those who have mental disorders who may be in a state of panic, such as Sarah Rogers.  It is the opinion of many that a revision needs to transpire and that the fate of Sarah be an example as to how important it is to have those with mental illness to be included in the alerts. There are many across the USA  missing who have similar conditions. Some of those which are listed at LostNMissing, Inc are:

Christina Whittaker Young, 21, who is bipolar and has anxiety and panic attacks  was last seen Nov. 13, 2009, leaving a local bar late at night after erratic behavior led to an argument with the bartender in Missouri.

Jamie Fraley, 22, who suffers from bipolar and anxiety and went missing on April 08, 2008, from Gastonia, NC after making numerous trips to the ER that day.

Thomas Joel Zinza, 44, a business man from Hawaii who disappeared from his hotel room in PA on February 16, 2008.  Mr. Zinza suffers from schizophrenia.

Adam Christopher Kellner, 34, who disappeared from his California home on November 08, 2007. Adam also suffers from schizophrenia and hears voices.

Emillie Hoyt, 23, missing since January 2006 in Florida. Suffers from bipolar disorder.

Mitrice Richardson, 24, missing since September 17, 2009 in California. Suffers from mental health issues.

If you recognize or see any of these missing loved ones, please go to the LostNMissing website at www.lostnmissing.com to locate the missing person’s banner with information so that you may contact the appropriate authorities.