Intimate Partner Violence Revisited in Chicago

  

By Donna Gore

It was August 1993, Susan Murphy–Milano had already lived at least five of her seeming nine lives by that time. She had experienced a childhood like no one should ever have to bear, serving as the “in resident protective services” for her beloved mother who had experienced years of abuse and violence from her detective husband.

“Sometimes Roberta called the police, but she usually didn't even get to see the responding officers. Phil Murphy would flash his badge, joke with the guys, close the door, and return to battering the object of his disaffection…. "He called her sometimes 20 times a day at the office where she worked," notes Milano. "He constantly accused her of infidelities. He claimed she was a lesbian; he claimed she was having affairs with other officers….He always told her, "If you leave, I'll find you; if I find you, I'll kill you."

Susan was reeling from a personal relationship that caused more pain and heartache. She was doing her best to raise a preschooler with the help of a dedicated babysitter. In 1993, she had been taking on the role of Advocate in Chicago’s Domestic Violence Court without question for three years. Even if she was denied, she had the Domestic Violence Act on her side: (Enacted in New Jersey first in 1991).

Back in the day, Susan’s initial most celebrated case played out in the hallowed halls located at 1340 South Michigan was that of Dawn Wilson whose ex-husband, Christopher stalked and beat her and was played out on national TV, newspapers and magazines. “Even before their marriage, he'd push her around. “After we got married, the real violence started," Dawn says. Violence that started right after the wedding and never really let up. Christopher was arrested nine times following the divorce, to no apparent effect. " He asked me once, `Why do you waste your time taking me to court?' He knew he would get away with it."

During the classic feature article, “Life Saver” for the Chicago Reader in which Susan was the topic, a typical offender, “Gilchrist” was described as such, “He is not so much physically abusive as verbally abusive and prone to "detaining" her--deciding that he doesn't want her to go to work and taking her keys, or removing the battery from her car, or changing the locks on the garage. But this has escalated to death threats against her and her coworkers; he's even put a knife to her throat. "Each little bout is a little bit worse." said Susan.

There is a stir at the bench; it seems there's a problem. There are three charges outstanding against Gilchrist--violating an order of protection, assault, and criminal damage to property, but only two of them are in his folder. They'll have to find the other one before they can proceed. "Pass," says Judge Gembala, and Gilchrist is taken out. Murphy Milano is fuming: that means the case has to be reviewed. They can't do anything until Gilchrist talks with the public defender and Jones talks with the state's attorney. This is the eighth time Gilchrist has violated an order of protection, and Judge Gembala had promised that the next time Gilchrist came before him he'd be put away, period.”

Susan did what she did in the backdrop of her own tragedy within the judicial confines of a system that was “all procedure and no heart.” In her words, she learned as she went along what worked and what didn't work: "Mostly, I went by my gut." Although she denied any obsession with the subject, she admitted, "I was relentless. I did what I felt was right, and I worked to show the media I wasn't just the flavor of the month.”

Former colleagues in the 90s spoke of Susan’s zealousness, her sincerity, her “Let’s take care of business NOW style, and her high productivity, and her personal need to stay uninvolved personally with her victims in order to be effective. You know you’ve created something meaningful when you need body guards. “The International Service Associates is a security agency, licensed and active in 16 states that until very recently served only as a contractor for the federal government. The sole exception to the rule: a few months ago ISA started providing bodyguards--free of charge--for Milano and the women she works with.”

Intimate Partner Violence had become a way of life in all sectors of society, much to the chagrin of Susan. Although she helped one person at a time, she was “the lone ranger” for so many years, as she skillfully navigated the system in her unique manner. Although her accomplishments were many, it was not until the inception of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit that a prevention tool was able to cut across boundaries and have equal access to anyone affected by IPV.

But, as I thought of creating this piece, I wondered, what was her “stage” like then as opposed to today? What was the history of the building at 1340 South Michigan, Domestic Violence Court?

According to a Chicago preservation website:

It was previously known as the “Interior Furniture Company” built in 1922 in Classical Revival style. The area of Michigan Avenue south of Roosevelt Road was originally residential and then gradually became a mercantile area, used by furniture companies, wholesale clothing companies, horse carriage companies, and later automobile companies. The mercantile history of the area, with loft structures that doubled as showrooms, created a high quality design of building facades that tell a story Chicago business and architecture meeting to create a unique building type. In later years, the building served as the site of the Domestic Violence Courthouse.

In 2005, there was a lot of controversy about whether this building, among others in a “not so nice area of town” was worth saving. Well, what a difference a couple of years and history makes…. For now we have – “Aviation Lofts” Luxury Living! See video too! How nice it would have been to “shelter victims of intimate partner violence” here!

What was the “flow of traffic” like when Susan was perusing the courtrooms? ''It was pretty much a mob scene going into the elevators. Often you would have victims and abusers going up the same elevators,'' said JoAnn F. Villasenor, the supervising attorney of LAF's Family Law Project,

There was a similar problem at 28 N. Clark St., where victims and offenders share a single waiting room. The new building streamlines services for the victims, but it may also improve things for practitioners and the judiciary.

Prior to the opening of the new “state of the art” building in 2005, …Only one judge heard civil orders of protection, When the new court opens, there will be two judges hearing those cases. There were more than 5,300 so-called ''independent'' civil orders of protection filed in 2004.

Civil orders of protection were being heard at 28 N. Clark St. Criminal orders of protection are heard at 1340 S. Michigan Ave, said Laura Bertucci, supervisor of the Domestic Violence Division for the Cook County State's Attorney's office . As is done at Central Bond Court at the Criminal Courts building, the felony preliminaries are held via closed-circuit television. 

“Completely Victim Friendly” for $64+ Million

Among its many advantages, the new Domestic Violence court ''is going to be completely victim-friendly'' was the rave!

The new building features separate entrances for alleged victims and alleged offenders, Bertucci said. There are also separate elevators and waiting rooms.

Additionally, there are spaces for an array of victims' advocates on the new court's first floor, Bertucci said. The scattered branches put a heavy burden on the victims.

''People who went to 13th and Michigan prior to the new building, , if there wasn’t enough evidence to sustain a criminal charge, then advocates told them to go to 28 N. Clark for a civil order. That made for a very long day for people who've very recently been victims of violence''.

The Maze of it all. Without GPS- “Organizational Structure” (See Map) And I’ll bet Susan knew it like the back of her hand!

The pièce de résistance- 555 West Harrison Street Children’s Advocacy Room

Although there has been child advocacy in the Chicago judicial system in various forms over the years, children are very vulnerable victims of domestic violence and need a safe harbor. The new courthouse has such a place. It provides a number of valuable services:


Postscript:

I’m thinking of a little girl from Chicago who wrote a poem expressing the violence that was happening in her home as a means of reaching out. The teacher and the principal did not believe her…and she was punished! That little girl, and author of “Holding My Hand Through Hell” was Susan Murphy Milano!

Donna Gore created a service program for crime victims and offers her assistance in creating a cohesive victim impact statement tailored to the individuals and their cases. She recognizes that this could be of great value to not only the crime victim, but to the court system as well.

By using Gore’s services a crime victim can be coached on how to best present their victim impact statement. From her vast experience volunteering in the courtroom, she is able to act as a liaison with advocates who may not have the same experiences. Working with the court advocates, attorneys, and prosecutors, not only will the crime victims’ voices be heard, they will be presented professionally, courteously, and effectively.

Donna R. Gore is a consultant and trainer with the Office of Victim Services within the US Department of Justice. She is the host of the internet radio show, Shattered Lives which broadcasts every Saturday at 5pm Eastern time on the Inside Lenz Network.

In Memory of Susan Murphy Milano

Today (Oct.28) marks the 1 year anniversary of Susan's death. What better way to remember her than to read and learn from the posts that she left behind. There are literally thousands of messages from her at Murphy Milano's Journal, all indignantly calling for the safety of abuse victims.

"But for those fearful or unable to seek service from a domestic violence shelter provider, there is a book available that will take a victim from living in fear to a plan, with a roadmap to safety. "

MurphyMilano's Journal

DocumentTheAbuse.Com

HoldingMyHandThroughHell.Com

ConqueringCancer.Me

Related articles

• The Roth Show: Anny Jacoby Discusses Personal Safety Planning for Domestic Violence Victims (imaginepublicity.com)
• Michelle S. Cruz Talks to Dr. Laurie Roth About Rights of Domestic Violence Victims (imaginepublicity.com)
• Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Change Is Here, Action! (imaginepublicity.com)
• Your Health is Wealth with Dr. Akoury: Domestic Violence Awareness Month (imaginepublicity.com)
• Neil Schori Keynote Speaker at "Take Back the Night" Event (imaginepublicity.com)

Shelter Yourself From the Storm of Abuse

by Karen Rae Elkins

I’ve set sail with the Lady Bass Anglers Association, the LBAA. I was headed to Lake Ray Hubbard, Texas for the first of four tournaments. This is my Rookie year with the LBAA fishing league. Something magical happens when you have a group of 50 women linked by the common thread of tournament fishing. We arrive wide-eyed and tough enough to meet the challenges of battling any obstacle that would stand in the way of fishing. We all leave the lake a little stronger, a little wiser, holding tight to a fist full of determination to fish again.

When I started learning all about the mechanics of piloting a bass boat on my own, the sunrises seem more alive. Maybe, it was because I felt more alive after I left an abusive relationship. Alone, on a lake somewhere, I could breath in all that had been smothered by the hate and guilt he inflicted on my soul. I sustained major damage when I said no more and left him. Spending time on the water reminded me that I’m not all that he complained needed “changing in me” in order to meet his approval. I replaced the words "if you would just listen to me" with the sweet music of songbirds or rhythmic tap of a woodpecker. Nature nurtures the heart that loves her with food for the soul. It has taken years and many fish on the line to absorb I’m just fine.

March is a quirky weather month for fishing. There are cold days and warm days in-between stirring up the atmosphere. Packing means you carry “IT” all like you’re never coming home, winter clothes and shoes, summer clothes and shoes, warm and cold water tackle, not to mention, electronics and chargers, food, alarm clocks and coffee pot. I carry sentimental items like a photo of the kids, my sons first Bible, a CD that my daughter makes me for the drive and a lure that was given to my dad and I at a tournament we fished years ago. By the time i close the door to the rig and crank the big diesel truck, if it’s not packed in the truck or boat, I don’t need it. This trip would be different from all other tournaments. I was traveling the highway to Texas with my future husband, Professional Canadian Angler, Kasey Fedoriw. Yep, I'm engaged to a good man, a man who will never hurt me and he fishes!
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If you are in an abusive relationship, go ahead and pack like you are never coming home. The weather there will, at some point, turn rough to deadly in an instant. You cant forecast abuse. There are so many reasons to stay but there are many more reasons you must leave. I know what you are thinking, "Things may get better if I will just tough it out and stay". Has he threatened to take you out of this world? Pack like you’re never coming home. If you don’t have “IT” when you leave, count it as gone. There is nothing more valuable than your life. Going back just gives him one more chance to take you out of this world. It is his intent every time he swings at you to take your life. Don’t give him another chance. Why don't you leave?

I watched it rain in Texas and then I watched it rain some more. I watched the lake rise and then I watched it rise some more. I felt the 25 + mph winds as thew blew across the water stirring up the bottom of the lake. Fishermen spend their fair share of time talking and watching the weather details. If I call Tony in Omaha, I'll ask him "How is the weather in Nebraska"? It's an unspoken way of saying how is the fishing? He in return will ask, "How's the weather in the South'? I laugh and say, “Don't get me to lying to ya Tony”. Weathermen lie (not on purpose) to fishermen all the time. The weather makes a liar out of all of us at one time or another.

It is said that your life unfolds as it should and I hold on to this knowledge when I’m fishing. I love Texas lakes. I love catching Texas bass. I arrived in Texas 6 days prior to official practice just to go fishing on one of the most famous lakes in the US, Lake Fork. Bass or no bass if you’ve never seen a sunset on Lake Fork, it can soothe the soul. The sun in every color floats down below the horizon of water in a matter of breath-taking minutes. This would be my second trip to Lake Fork for just fun fishing and soaking up nature at it’s best. I caught my best “record” bass on my first trip to Fork. It was HUGE, no lie.

I used my time on Lake Fork to test two new rods that I had ordered from the man who hand makes beautiful works of art captured in a rod. I broke my Fish Steady rod a week before I left for Texas. Fishermen identify with their rods to the point that the rod is an extension of their hand. Fish Steady is a custom rod made in Alabama by Greg Hughes of Greg’s Custom Rods. The Fish Steady rod is a specialty rod designed for my buzzbaits and jerkbaits. The rod is very short by fishermen standards. I had an angler look at the rod and say, “Karen, That looks like a Snoopy rod to me”. The rod is purple and the reel is purple as well. Just like pink is the color of breast cancer, purple is the symbolic color used to identify domestic violence. I wear a purple fishing jersey as well. I can identify with the abuse that you've felt, because your past never truly goes away. Learn to live with your past while you map out a better future for yourself. I fish steady to bring women and men out of violent relationships. I know what it's like to have felt a touch that is anything but loving, soft, and healing.

Official practice started on a cloudy day. I would have 3 days and about 6 hours to pre-fish. I knew where I wanted to fish and I started exploring the waters. Kasey was my practice partner for the tourney. I loved having him on my boat. He is one of my biggest fans and a huge help in finding fish. He respects me in all I do. I did my homework for the lake 5 days prior to official practice. Each day off the water I spent hours, watching water levels, looking at the water from the land, researching articles, watch videos of fishing and plotting my course.

Anglers are early risers. I awoke on day one of practice with butterflies. I was up at 4 AM packing the boat, packing lunches, watching the weather channel. I did my fair share of killing time before sunrise, too. I said a prayer as the boat left the trailer for the first day of practice. I pray for safety first. I launched between two bridges. The water between the bridges are famous for taking out the engines lower unit. The path out to the channel looks clear but danger lurks below the water in the form of trees and stumps. If I run over a stump I could kill the lower unit and then be unable to compete in the tournament. Replacing the lower unit can take a week or longer.

I had the best Day One of practice I’ve ever had. I found fish in 4 out of 5 locations. I was on top of the world. I had to call a no fishing day for day two of practice. The weather warned of tornados. I do not fish during lightening weather and I sure wasn’t launching the boat in tornado weather. Fishing is one of the most dangerous sports, honest. I believe in safety first on and off the water. Before you cast a line in the water, Mother Nature has to say, “Go fish... or stay on the bank”.

Mother Nature plays her part in every fisherman's life and she is unpredictable. Abuse for the most part can make people lie to themselves and others, like the weathermen lie to us daily. Abuse is the storm for which there is no weather vane to predict where the violent destination will rest. There are no formula’s to predict the outcome of abuse. You can hope for the best but you need to be aware that 2,500 just like you didn’t survive last year’s violence. Every three minutes a woman is being raped. Every eighteen seconds a woman is being beaten. It's happening right now, as I write these words to you. You rarely heard the reports of just how at risk these people were. There were no storm warnings issued for their life. With very few resources spent in the right direction, there are few options to find shelter during the storm of violence.

Like the water on a lake abuse lies beneath the surface. You know it's there and avoiding it is a scary task. What looks safe could be the very obsticle responsible for ending your life. You can't see it, but it is there. It can kill you. "The weather changes” is a true statement. Turbulent eruptions in the atmosphere predict a storms path, unlike the violent person in your life. One day there are bright blue skies and the next thing you know minutes seem like hours as the darkness takes over. Make the decision now to build your own shelter from abuse. One of the best resources to protect your life comes within. It’s called the will to survive. Stir that instinct that has been beaten down with words and actions from another person. Once you’ve accomplished the stir within you to live, take the appropriate cover.
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The remainder of the pre-fish wasn’t like day one at all. Finding the fish became hard as the waters continued to rise and the winds blew in excess of 25 mph. The waves grew large with the southern winds and resulted in stirring up the mud that lay below. The slightly stained lake waters became a bowl of overflowing chocolate milk.

Tournament day finally arrived with a roaring wind. The weatherman said, “No rain in the forecast”, but it poured rain and contributed to muddy waters everywhere. Of course I packed my 100 MPH suit and I had it on. While in practice I saw 3 boats in the creek I wanted to fish. The fish were big en’s. I was boat number 2 in the line-up. I was first in creek. Three days prior to the tournament the creek held ample numbers of big bass. On tournament day the creek was high and the bass had left the creek. Carp and gar fish that decided to spawn where my bass were living. I left the area and did battle in the open wind and rain. I lost two fish and weighed in zero. I was able to go across the stage and talk about domestic violence. I offered help to anyone in the audience with domestic violence problems. So I had zero fish, but the good news was a woman came to me. I succeeded in fishing steady.

After a long day of fishing, I went to a birthday celebration at the Word Famous Fish Company Restaurant at Bass Pro Shop for Cassie Hall’s dad. I wanted to share in the happiness that a dad has for his daughter who fishes. You see, my dad has always supported my fishing in every way. At the time of the tournament, I knew my dad was not going to be on this earth for much longer. He was in a semi-coma like state and wouldn’t respond to anyone or anything. I pushed my situation of sadness out by thinking on the good dinners I shared with my dad on a lake somewhere.

Day two wasn’t any kinder. The weather changed again. The clouds left and the winds stopped blowing. I decided to ride south as far as I could, away from the muddy waters. I was fishing blind because I hadn’t laid eyes on the structure I was fishing. Again, I missed the chance to land a big fish. I scared him. I left the area with intentions of coming back after the fish settled back into his habitat. A co-angler with Pro Kathy Magers caught the fish. It weighed over 6 lbs. After the tournament all I wanted to do was see my dad.

Good things happened in Texas regardless of my finish. I am an official member of the Lake Fork Trophy Lure company Pro Staff as the result of a chance stop. The bass seem to enjoy taking a bite out of one Lake Fork's Creature baits, so I respond in kind by giving them what they like for breakfast or dinner. I'm proud to be part of their Pro Staff. If you are in the Lake Fork area and smell the scent of garlic, look around until you see the LFT big bass logo and spend some time with owner Ronnie Parker an

You can’t change the weather but you can prepare for the worst. Anything is possible when you’re out there on your own. Abusers tend to isolate their intended victim. No one can leave for you. If you are in a violent relationship, “Get out, but be smarter than he ever gave you credit for being”. Make your own sweet list for leaving. The worst storms come if you announce your plans to leave. Because you are in an abusive relationship, start leaving, but start smart. Realize that you and those you love dearly are in danger. Never, ever, even hint that you plan to leave and abusive relationship.

There are many lists out there to guide you in your journey to freedom. Do your homework and scan every list you can find. One of the best lists to date is published in the book, Time’s Up, by Susan Murphy-Milano. I carry copies of the book on tour with me. Have a plan but know the weather can change from day to day. If you must leave abruptly, remember to never go back for any reason, regardless. I read a story about a woman in my hometown who went back to her home with a police escort. She left in a body bag. If you have computer access not in your home, read the stories on-line about the women who left and those who are missing. Know that your life is precious and know why you are in danger of losing the one thing you can’t buy or replace. You are irreplaceable. Once you walk out the door a whole world of possibilities are in your destiny. Love yourself enough to leave.

I know some of you think fishing can't be that tough, but it comes with daily challenges. It is easier than leaving a bad relationship. I'd rather face 1,000 new lakes than spend a day with an abusive man. I'm headed to Lake Dardanelle, Arkansas for the second LBAA event. I sure hope to perform like I know I can. All I need is 5 fifteen inch fish for two days in a row. That's all. Following the tourney Kasey and I will be fishing a benefit tourney on Lake Dardanelle. One of the tournament host is BASS Elite Kevin Short. We plan to spend a few days touring the boat factory at Legend Boats. Legend is a sponsor of the Ladies tour.

Time's Up is published as a resource for the abused who want to break free from the weather pattern of unpredictable violence. There will always be storms in our life, it’s all in the way you shelter down to prevent death. Time's Up for abuse. Life is precious.

One final note and then I'm through talking until i fish Lake Dardanelle:

My father lived a wonderful life. He had the gift of photography and he used his gift all his life. He passed away on April 12th. I miss my fishing partner. He’s is in Heaven, fishing with Jesus. I bet Jesus doesn’t talk as much as I did on the boat. Dad is enjoying the silent fish. 

Fish steady.

Karen Rae Elkins is a professional female angler and a survivor!

Killing with a Borrowed Knife: Stephen Nodine

By Susan Murphy Milano

The murder trial for Angel Downs begins right after the Thanksgiving holiday.

On May 9, 2010, 45 yr. old realtor, Angel Downs, was found shot in the head in her front yard in Gulf Shores, Alabama. Neighbors heard shots fired and saw former (very married) boyfriend and elected Mobile County Commissioner, Steve Nodine, leaving the scene in his county provided red pickup truck.

This guy is facing more federal charges than buckets on a bozo show. Sadly, in between federal gun charges, drugs, corruption, bribery, and whatever else I missed, the most important is the cold blooded and pre-meditated murder, in my opinion, of Angel Downs, whom he stalked, threatened, and, according to eye witnesses, shot.

Combined, these are heavy criminal acts of a person elected into office. It was a surprise that this "Alabama dickless wonder" had been granted bail! With a GPS bracelet, (what a joke) Stephan Nodine has been on "house arrest." He lives in an historic neighborhood, allegedly having parties with open bars, going to salons, courting women online (on sites such as Match.com) , getting possible paramours to drop by and meet him at church, all while his parole officer (Clay Marsal) refuses to cite him for violations. Then, we have those holding the reins of local media suddenly abstain from telling the public or doing an informative investigation about Stephen Nodine's blatant disregard for the law.

It was no surprise that when our own crime advocate and writer, Cherry Simpson, learned of this dangerous repeat offender's various freedoms in a community where she lives with her family, she was outraged. First, to think that a murderer, (sorry, in my opinion!) is walking into the same grocery store, salon, pharmacy, bank or gas station, where other women could fall prey, as he is trying to pick them up in the fruit section of a grocery store or when they are having a manicure, I would not feel very safe. Neither did Cherry Simpson, especially when the county was not properly monitoring the activities of "lady killer Stephen Nodine."

Cherry created a "Support Justice for Angel Downs" page, speaks to the woman's family and friends in order to have more media attention placed on the crime in hopes of removing the headline of "mistress" associated with a murder victim, and to ensure justice is properly served given the political climate and Nodine's unique ability in the art of deception.

Cherry Simpson wrote on "Time's Up!," spoke out, and was on a radio show or two regarding the murder. In July a radio show was scheduled, with members of the Downs family and Cherry Simpson, to discuss Angel and give her a voice because she had been silenced by a man who made a living at "killing with a borrowed knife." The family was threatened not to appear on the radio show, but the show went on and we went ahead with the broadcast, without the scheduled guests.

To "kill with a borrowed knife” means borrowing other people's power to help you eliminate a threat. When you lack power or don’t want to reveal yourself, you will borrow a "knife" (from an outside force) to eliminate a threat. By doing this, you are using other people's power for your own gain.

Cherry Simpson began as advocate/activist for victims of crime after her daughter was handcuffed, raped and severely beaten in 2006 by her former son-in-law. In 2008, when her former son-in-law was scheduled for early release from State prison in Illinois, she contacted me. I scheduled a meeting with the Will County State's Attorney and implemented various strategies, which included the media, ensuring her daughter's life remained safe without the threat of continued violence, or perhaps death.

Once her daughter's case closed and the person responsible sentenced by a judge, Cherry Simpson embarked on a road to assist others, including families of missing persons and cold cases. She tasted the victory of justice and Cherry Simpson wanted the same for other parents whose cries for help fell on deaf ears, often marked by a headstone in a grave yard. In December of 2009, just weeks after she became a writer here on "Time's Up!," her niece, Lacey Gaines, was brutally murdered. She continues to work on Lacey's case, keeping it in the public eye, until the person responsible is arrested and brought to justice.

Now, in my opinion, Cherry Simpson is being threatened, harassed and victimized by the defense attorneys representing Stephen Nodine in the upcoming December trial for the murder of Angel Downs.

Cherry and Larry Simpson were served a subpoena by Nodine's defense team demanding they appear at 8:30 a.m. on December 3, 2010 in Baldwin County, Alabama. This translates into a victims advocate publicly paying for blog writing activities and for trying to keep Nodine under a larger public spotlight. Why? Because they are angry for bringing national attention a case which they would like to stay quiet.

This is certainly a lot more attention given by authorities than what Angel Downs received while she was alive.

Angel tried to have police reports written and secure an order of protection from the courts; she was tired of the staking and threatening texts. Angel Downs spoke with high ranking officers for help and no one listened. Why? People with influence, power, and money almost always get away with, yes, even murder, until they are finally caught.

At first I thought ordering Cherry Simpson and her husband to appear in court for the defense could be a good thing for the murder case, but it's not for Cherry and her family. They must jump through hoops in their professional lives to show up and testify. For Angel Downs, this is a victory. This blog is responsible for the mainstream media focusing on the case. It also in my expert opinion outed the criminal activity of a serial offender, Stephen Nodine.

I would recogonize and thank others who worked along side Cherry Simpson, but they would also be served with a subpoena by the defense team representing Nodine.

A personal message to Mr. Nodine, from me, enjoy your Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays it will be your last until you are found guilty and sent to prison.

(Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education. For more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth on http://www.therothshow.com/)

Garvin County Oklahoma: Time's Up!

Over 100 poster's on the reward money offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of "those" (notice the plural here) responsible for the murder of Sheila Deviney were placed in windows of businesses all across town.

Today, more than half of the reward signs have been removed or torn down. I learned that people in the town of Lindsay, Oklahoma have been threatened to "remove the signs or else."

It seems that the ex-husband of Sheila Deviney, resides in Lindsay, OK, and rumor has it that the towering former football star has been " allegedly" threatening business owners to take these signs down or damage could happen to their property. Well I guess if I were a business owner in that neck of the woods, I might be scared, too. I would not want to see my business torched or damaged because I didn't listen. And the towns folk with good reason are scared so they are doing as they are told. Did I mention that this alleged killer is a volunteer little league football coach for the Lindsay, OK school district.

Shiela Deviney, 30, died on January 6, 2004, when her mobile home, located about one mile east and one mile south of Maysville, Oklahoma, burned to the ground. She was murdered. It should be no surprise that Sheila had been married to an abusive, controlling man. They had a court date over past-due child support scheduled the next day. According to eye witnesses, her ex-husband was at the home, although by law not allowed on the premises. He and others according to recorded, notarized and sworn affidavit statements I have in a secure location as of this past weekend from eye witnesses attest to certain individuals leaving Sheila's property as flames jumped into the sky. Witnesses say those person's allegedly destroyed evidence and took items from the home.

Recorded information and facts on this case was also first broadcast in detail on August 2, 2010, during the Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation radio show with Sheryl, McCollum, Holly Hughes.

It seems OSBI, Sheriff Steve Brooks and Garvin County Prosecutor Greg Mashburn have done everything in their powers to keep not only this case, but the Chanda Turner and Tom Horton cases from being re-opened, investigated and those responsible prosecuted. The latest in the Sheila Deviney case is that the state wants to destroy the tissue samples by the year 2012, per this Fox News 25 report earlier in the week: Click Here.

Perhaps someone from the Department of Justice can accompany me on my visit next week when I attend back to back events and press conferences in an attempt to have these 3 murder cases finally open for an official investigation. I would also ask for the State Police to be near by, for I am told, allegedly of course, if I go to Pauls Valley, Oklahoma, I could be carried out in a body bag.

Time's Up folks! I will be in Oklahoma as planned. Justice is long overdue for the intimate partner homicides of Sheila Deviney, Chanda Turner and Tom Horton.


(Susan Murphy Milano, is also with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold.)

CHRIS RAINEY, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, & THE CHURCH

By Neil Schori

Almost every day, I hear about new situations where women are killed/tortured/raped/threatened/stalked, by an intimate partner. Today was nothing new. This morning, I discovered that Chris Rainey, a University of Florida wide receiver, was arrested for threatening to kill his on-again, off-again girlfriend. I was saddened, but completely unsurprised.

When I say that I was unsurprised, I do not at all mean that this has become so commonplace to me that I’m cold to or anesthetized to its horrendous fall-out. As a matter of fact, I’m more alert to this than ever. Sadly, before Stacy Peterson disappeared, I was mostly oblivious to the domestic violence in this world. I didn’t understand the insidious nature of the violence that is perpetrated upon these women (and some men) in their own homes. I didn’t understand that they couldn’t “just leave.” I didn’t understand how isolated they had become. I didn’t understand that this was happening in the church at nearly the same rate as the rest of the population. I didn’t understand that these women are literally dying for attention and true and tangible assistance. I didn’t understand that pastors were complicit in women’s continued subjugation in these dangerous and dark homes.

But now I know. And because I know, I’m responsible. And I’m making a difference in and through my church and in my networking with incredible leaders and advocates in the field of domestic violence. It is my desire to continue to bring peace and hope to women across this country who feel terrified and anxious and hopeless. It is also my desire to educate pastors and church leaders about their role in helping to go on this journey with these women, so that they can come out of isolation and into the light of a supportive community.

Why do I believe so much in this cause? Because Jesus does, and he’s called me and anyone else who claims to be one of his followers to offer comfort and healing after we’ve received comfort and healing from him. The Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 2: 1-2 that:

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.”

God IS love. It is his very essence and because of that, it must be the essence of the church. Pay no attention to a church that is not characterized by its love for the people it is there to serve. So, I will continue to strive for Naperville Christian Church to be a church of rest for the weary victims of domestic violence because that is exactly what Jesus wants us to do.

Matthew 11: 28-30 (Message translation):

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

May we learn to be people of tremendous grace and action as we love these people who are victims of such horrible injustice.

Peace,

Neil

Neil Schori is the Pastor of Naperville Christian Church in Naperville, IL

Documentation of Abuse

By Heidi Hiatt

Typing furiously before he got home, I decided to make another copy. I cut the entire document, many months of notes, from the hard drive and pasted it on the disc whirring in its slot.

At that point I knew that a record of all of the threats, all of the frightening behavior, and my fears on what he was planning had to exist in multiple copies. I had to be sure that someone knew what really happened if I was unable to speak for myself.

Before ejecting the disc, I checked it to be sure the file was on there. Wait—this had to be a mistake. It wasn’t. I went back to the hard drive. I clicked paste again to see if pages upon pages of information would reappear.

It didn’t.

In my haste to get everything off of the computer before 7:00, I had erred and wiped out every bit of information that I’d been saving to get help. When the prosecutor became involved, they tried to recover the data from the disc, but it was long gone.

That incident made me more careful about saving important information that we may need later. It illustrated the importance of having multiple copies of such notes and the need to keep them in more than one place.

Today I want to emphasize how important it is to create and properly store documentation when something in your life doesn’t seem right.

There isn’t a criteria for what should and shouldn’t be saved. You don’t have to be able to prove something in a court of law to justify writing it down. You just have to trust your gut instinct that you need to be keeping a record of what’s going on.

There are many reasons to document what’s going on in your life. You may be experiencing emotional abuse, which frequently escalates. Maybe you are being falsely accused. Perhaps your partner is physically or sexually assaulting you, or things just aren’t adding up.

You may suspect that your partner is being unfaithful. Your spouse’s former partner may be stalking or harassing you. Your partner may be minimizing or excusing someone else’s behavior when it alarms you, or is making you feel like you’re the crazy one.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

If someone’s behavior is scaring you or making you uncomfortable, you don’t have to justify that anxiety to anyone. Something’s not right.

As security expert Gavin de Becker says in his must-read bestseller The Gift of Fear, “intuition is always right in at least two important ways; it is always in response to something. It always has your best interest at heart.” He also reminds readers that denial is a save now, pay later scheme.

If things don’t seem right in your life, just start writing. It’s that simple. It is important that you make a permanent record of the events that you sense as “off.”

Don’t be a perfectionist about it. Whether you jot down three sentences on a calendar about what happened on a given day, or you take twenty minutes every night to maintain a detailed diary, just let it flow. It’s unlikely that you’d feel motivated to do it if something wasn’t wrong.

I prefer a free-flowing journal format in which I state the facts and then add how I feel. It is important to record facts and who witnessed the same things. If you need a court order or you have to protect your children in a child custody case, the judge is going to be more keyed into material presented to them as facts than feelings.

It is also important to record your feelings. You might be surprised at how deeply you have been hurt, or how bothered you actually are, when you start letting it out. In this way journaling your circumstances not only protects you, it is therapeutic because it lets the poisons festering inside of you drain out.

Be specific in your entries. Let it all out. Don’t write as if you’re going to be embarrassed about it later. Tell people there’s no way you’d commit suicide, so if that’s suspected, they should investigate until they find out the truth.

If someone’s deception led to rape or medical problems, if your partner was having an affair, and no matter what mistakes you might have made, be sure it’s all there. Honesty is the best policy.

If you won’t do this for your own sake, then do it for your kids, your significant other, or other people who may be hurt by the questionable behavior. Abuse and stalking never affect just one person. You are probably not the only victim of that stalker or abuser, and you may have the opportunity to stop them from doing it to others.

If you are being abused—whether it’s emotional, physical, or both—DO NOT let your partner know that you are keeping those records. There may be times where you want to pull the document out and read to them how you feel, but you have no guarantees that they will ever be sincere about changing their behavior.

If you are keeping tabs on a third party who is trying to harm your relationship or is causing you fear, your partner may be well aware that you are keeping records, but not agree on how to handle that person. Keep a copy hidden from them anyway. Some people’s loyalty shifts like sand dunes in a hurricane.

If you are the family member of someone who is being used, stalked, or making bad choices, you might want to keep your own journal. Your relative doesn’t need to know about it. It might be your “just in case” plan.

You might see your loved one engaged in a relationship that is sure to take them off a cliff at some point. You may notice that they seem oblivious to the consequences of their choices. Write it down. Your prudence could help save a life.

If the information you want to keep is digital, like a photo or information on the internet, and there’s no clear “save as” option, press your “alt” and “print screen” buttons at the same time, then paste it into a Word document. You can also print it.

Because electronic information can be easily replicated, I prefer to save things to CD, DVD, and/or an external hard drive. While it is wise to keep certain original documents, you can keep copies of receipts and medical records by scanning them into your computer. You can also make, save, and duplicate audio and video material.

If the person harming you has access to your computer, you should be very careful about this. They can track your internet usage, rifle through the recycle bin, or maybe even be tech savvy enough to recover files you’ve deleted. You may want to use a library, work, or friend’s computer instead.

For some good information on how to protect yourself, check out Susan Murphy Milano’s book Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships, http://www.amazon.com/Times-Up-Abusive-Stalking-Relationships/dp/1608443604.

DO NOT STORE THESE DOCUMENTS AT HOME, OR SOLELY AT HOME. I cannot emphasize that enough. Do not keep records of such value in an obvious place. Ensure that if your home is broken into or destroyed, or if your computer is stolen, your tormentors won’t have access to your files. You always have to be three steps ahead of them.

Because a safety deposit box is an obvious choice, you may want to give or mail CDs to people who’ve proven their trust and loyalty for safekeeping. You could give them a small locked box that you ask them not to open in case you are incapacitated, missing, or deceased.

There’s also off-site electronic storage so that you can transmit and update such information over the web. But I advise keeping hard copies in places and with people that are not easily suspected anyway.

Maybe you have a relative 3000 miles away who could keep your files without looking at them, or you have not just people but hiding places that trusted friends will know about.

The bottom line is to be sure that trusted friends or family members, your attorney, and/or your executor know how to find this information if something happens. It is important that more than one person knows where to find your off-site records in case of emergency.

You can have this written into your will. My will is set up so that certain documentation will be automatically disseminated to multiple entities, government and otherwise, about several situations if I expire prematurely. An adequate attorney can help you put your instructions in concrete.

You must structure this life and the next in such a way that no one will get away with harming you or your family. So no matter what happens, the truth will come out, and what the perpetrators have dished out will come back on them a hundredfold.

Even if your abuser works in the legal system, that information doesn’t have to be released to the legal system only, or at all. You can arrange for the truth to be sent to people in the media, politicians, family members, acquaintances, or activists.

Chapter 4 in Susan Murphy Milano’s Time’s Up workbook details how to create an increasingly popular means of documenting abuse, an Evidentiary Will and Abuse Affidavit. As she says, this information isn’t supposed to scare you, but protect you.

An Evidentiary Will and Abuse Affidavit is a notarized document and video documenting the truth to be kept in a secure location. It is not a substitute for taking steps to protect yourself in the here and now, but an added layer of insurance.

Here is an example of the video portion of an Evidentiary Will and Abuse Affidavit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9uGnrtwK3Q

Documenting abusive, suspicious, or inappropriate behavior is advisable for men and women, the dating or married. Our society sometimes forgets that men can be victims of these trials and deceptions as well because women are abused more often than men.

Any violation of your personal boundaries is unacceptable no matter who you are. Please protect yourself—and those you love—by keeping detailed records, which helps you beat your abusers and accusers at their own sick game. You can—and should—come out on top.

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Stalking is a frequently misunderstood and belittled concept. I’d like to highlight a definition of stalking that I found for a term paper on the subject.

One of the most comprehensive definitions of stalking in modern academic literature is “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated physical or visual proximity, nonconsensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats sufficient to cause fear in a reasonable person”

Stalking is not simply following someone home from work, or making repeated phone calls. It can be any repeated behavior that places someone else in fear or violates their boundaries.

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One of the greatest sorrows of human existence is that some people aren’t happy merely to be alive but find their happiness only in the misery of others.
–Dean Koontz

The Accused Lady Killer - “I know what you are - you’re nothing but a Womanizer.”

Britney Spears knows these men are called Womanizer. A man that is not necessarily attractive, yet beholds exquisite game. He reels in several women with his empty promises of love, candle lit dinners, and great wit when he's only interested in sex. He is almost always a self-described asshole and feels no remorse when playing with women's emotions. Sometimes these men have so much game that women overlook the fact that they are being played.

Have you ever heard the saying, "Hate the sin, not the sinner.” or the more hip version "Don't hate the playa, hate the game" (DHTPHTG) in textspeak. Example: “Yo, even tho' you busted my man Stephen, we hadda pardon him, bro...DHTPHTG...”

Landshark

Even though accused lady killer Stephen Nodine is on so called House Arrest for the murder of Angel Downs, it hasn’t slowed him down. It would seem it has though sharpened his womanizing skills. A few of his recent female pigeons have chosen to share some of their experiences. Likening it to being chased by a landshark - a cunning urban predator. Thankfully they kept their distance and were not harmed. The RED FLAGS are up - he can pounce on you and you won’t even see it coming.

Those fed up with Nodine antic's are saying:

(*someone representing himself as Stephen Nodine contacted them)

• Nodine has a Match.com site with an ID of Beach47M.
• Nodine has had numerous affairs with women under 20, saying he has lied, cheated, and abused his way to the top.
• His ex-sister-in-law stated he stole money from her sister, lied to her and drank too much.
• Nodine currently reports he is bored, misses being able to run. Now runs around his driveway, mows the grass, and chases lounge lizards on the deck.
• He reading Charles Colson's book "Born Again." Says he got religion again while in jail.
• Nodine is online and on the phone trolling for women.
• Celebrated a 47th Birthday party complete with the best ever German choc cake.
• He is writing a book, he's on the 5th chapter and said he's already had 3 offers. It centers around his growing up in Juno Beach, the Bahamas, his political times.
• He's allegedly looking for help to develop a vehicle to show how great he is.
• He attends services at Methodist Dauphin Way in spite of they are all Democrats who can't believe he is still "walking tall."
• He confesses to a foot and hand fetish as long as you don't have bunions or fake nails.
• He fantasizes about walks on the beach, which are now relagated to his driveway.
• He says he's a soul brother and can really dance alot like Elaine on Seinfeld.
• The world is kicking his butt but he keeps a crap eating smile on his face cause he knows God loves him.
• He say he knows "who I am and his laywers will be in touch." Mr. Nodine please have any communication sent to Susan Murphy Milano at P.O. Box 14946, Surfside Beach, SC 29587 and of course my lawyers will respond to your ramblings. And Mr. Nodine ---Please make sure you have a chance to get your favorite beverage before your mandated curfew so you can listen in comfort and style to our show. And we invite you to participate in our live chat room during the show.
• He suddenly relaized last week he needed a haircut - it's all messed up.

You hang around a barbershop or beauty shop long enough and sooner or later you'll get a hair cut - at least that's what they say...
at Bella's Salon and Spa. For on July 21st at 10am in Mobile, AL a middle aged man comes in to get a hair cut. He sits downs - he has a certain air of arrogance about him? He asks repetitively “Don’t you know who I am? You really have no clue who I am?” (They must have missed the GPS on his ankle.)

The pretty hairdresser keeps working and answers “No should I?” Thinking maybe he’s a celebrity? The phone rings and the receptionist answers it, she yells out, “It’s a parole agent and he wants to speak to Steve Nodine."

One can imagine a collective - EWWWWW we had an accused murderer here in our Salon and didn’t even know it?! That's frightening!

Why didn’t Nodine go to a man's barber shop for his pseudo-military hairdo? Could it be because there are no women in a barbershop? He enjoys the game.

A womanizer is a man who always seems to make women fall for him. A skilled, charming man, not necessarily attractive, who can thoroughly make you believe that he loves you. Usually he is just there to get in your pants. However, there are actually some sadistic men out there who just like to do it for fun, or for control, attention, revenge or worse.

Other Dangerous Players aka Lady Killers:
Drew Peterson - who could forget the Drew Peterson Dating Game?
OJ Simpson
Scott Peterson
Brad Cunningham

Men who murder their female partners are often motivated by a need to save face by regaining a sense of power and control if the woman threatens to leave, or does leave. Some men are jealous; some are hopped up on drugs; some are career criminals; some are suicidal or depressed; and some, are materially motivated. "Why Do They Kill?: Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners" by David Adams

"They're narcissists," says retired FBI profiler Candice De- Long, who lives in San Francisco. "Life is all about them." "For narcissists, it's not just that they love themselves," DeLong says, "but it's how others see them. Their image to others, to the world, is what's really important. And to have a chink in that armor is totally unacceptable. And that chink can be anything." Often, it's a damning secret. Did Nodine fear Angel would tell on him? Steve has lead a very troubled past and his future is none too bright either.

According to Eric W. Hickey murderers of intimate partners are more likely to have a history of drug and alcohol abuse, to be more frequently intoxicated and to be more verbally abusive and physically violent.

Support Justice for Angel Downs on Facebook

Join us Mon 7/26/2010 8PM CST on Blog Talk Radio Show Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation with hosts Sheryl McCollum, MS, Director of the Cold Case Investigative Research Institute and Susan Murphy-Milano Violence Expert and Author - you may listen online, call in or podcast show. There is a live chat also.

WARNING: Your Cell Phone or Internet May Be Hazardous to Your Health. Accused murder suspect Stephen Nodine knows how to manipulate women, the media and the system.

*My comments are only my opinion, not fact. It is my commentary on the topic, and I'm exercising my 1st Amendment rights as a US citizen. Comments are NOT made with any malicious intent.

Will the “Authentic Self” Please Stand Up!

By Jillian Maas Backman

Some time ago the phrase “Authentic Self” began showing up in books, magazine articles, and of course, television.   My curiosity got the best of me here.  I could not resist browsing through piles of related text to see what “defining” and “discovering” and “reclaiming”  your authentic self was all about. 


As with any nebulous term, the representations and interpretations of this concept were as varied as the colors of the rainbow. However, I was able to find a common theme which connected the numerous discussions:  whatever the authentic self was, people assigned a high value to it.


I am living in my authentic truth.   I am my Authentic Self.
Authenticity arrives in your life when you can gather up all “yes” piles of experiences, all your “no” piles of not quite right experiences, sprinkle in a dash of personal, professional achievements, add a pinch of innate wisdom, shake together vigorously, and stand on top of this big heap of truth, and exclaim to the world I am this, and this is ME!


I share this whimsical description to demonstrate that the quest for living in authenticity is an ongoing process. There are no hard fast rules to follow, but rather guidelines for discovering an elevated version of you.  Your true authentic self already knows the way.  Whether you heed the calling or not is entirely up to you.


Take the first step:  Compile a list of Four Virtues that you consider to be significant and that pass your litmus test of truthfulness. 
My list is:  forgiveness, peace, love and activism.   Recognize that your list should be transitional, or change as you grow.  The list I would have complied when I was 25 years old is an entirely different set of aspirations now.
  
Authentic Virtues are Dynamic in Nature
We are obsessed with making lists in this country.  Every self- help book requires you to make a list and define a starting point of reference.   So why not review your “virtue list” and attempt to rank each virtue in importance from greatest to least.  I can bet, at this point, the task brings to light a whole new set of questions.  How can love be less important than forgiveness? They are of equal value on an authenticity scale of virtues.  All virtues are intermeshed with experiences.  Every experience carries a soulful lesson in each of the four categories.    I encourage you to work all four simultaneously.  Peace comes with love; love piggybacks authentic forgiveness, and so on.

I have spent countless hours with individuals who live with authentic intent.  One common thread I discovered in these people was the cultivation of a quiet mindful existence.  To nurture this trait in yourself, visualize a rushing river in your mind.  Then ask yourself the question:   what virtue do I need to work on today that will take me one step closer to knowing my authentic self?   Do you start on the river bank of forgiveness, the base of the waterfall of love, or on the stable rocks of peace?  Are you ready to jump into the rushing waters of activism with both feet and help others find their truth? 


Once you can tap into this river of peace, forgiveness, love and activism, it will become second nature to you; it will carry you for the rest of your life in truth.


How far do you go in order to live in your truth?
We live in a very competitive environment that fosters zero-sum personalities who view life as a game with clear winners and losers.  Our culture encourages natural competition.  This will never change, nor should it.  I, like many others, embrace my “inner competiveness.”   However, this does not mean it’s justifiable to run down everyone else in order to arrive at your “truth.”


Do not get the term authentic self confused with authentic selfishness! 
These terms are not interchangeable.  They are mutually exclusive of one another.  A life filled with egocentric intentions and actions is not worthy of the accolade associated with the term, genuine. No one is giving anyone permission to act as they want, do what they want, and treat others with ill-will, and then labeling this kind of behavior “authentic.”

There are ways to keep the inner seeker satisfied and stay tethered to your authentic truisms. 
Susan Murphy Milano is a shining example of this.  Susan has lived through a series of tragic events that could have separated her from her authentic self. Thankfully for the world, she chose a higher path.   Her newly released book, Time’s Up, is a culmination of hard-won life experience and truth in a raw, practical presentation that only Susan could convey.  You can sense the angelic force behind each and every placement of word, form, and detail.  This book demonstrates the last virtue on my list:  Activism.   This manifests at a time and place where your authentic self transposes to a global authentic truth.  That moment in time is today—for Susan Murphy Milano and Time’s Up, as well as for those who need this book to strive bravely toward their authentic selves!


Authentic mentorship is the path of least resistance, low cost with high rewards. 


In loving gratitude, Jillian Maas Backman
Author of Beyond the Pews (Spring 2010)

Make A Statement - Fight For A Cure

By Cherry Simpson

When I first saw these words they were in reference to cancer, a disease, which can be life threatening but in light of medical advancement and deterrents, cancer rates are dropping.

But we can’t say the same about domestic violence, we need to ask “why not?’ Shouldn’t law reflect reality? My thoughts go to my daughter Regan Martin and her struggle to escape abuse; she is a spousal rape and abuse survivor. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if the justice system supported domestic violence victims with the same love and understanding the medical community shows a cancer victim? Undergoing chemotherapy is scary and so is going to court. But there’s no TLC for victims’ in court

.

My daughter spent hours at the Will County Courthouse (where accused wife murderer Drew Peterson is regularly seen) in front of Judge Schoenbecht. She spent months and lots money going to court, the defense routinely impugned her character, and the cost was hers to bear. Hard to believe, in America, it is the victim who is put on trial and sentenced - criminal and victim rights hang in an ugly imbalance.

Victim’s Impact Statement 

On Nov 18, 2008 we sat waiting, on a hard wooden bench, in the hall outside room 405 of Will County Court.  This day Regan had help, her pro-bono victim’s attorney Rachel Morse, and her victim’s advocate Susan Murphy-Milano, her grandmother and I were there to support her.  The DA read the lethality assessment done by Harvard Law Professor Diane Rosenfeld. The court was given a letter written by the Cindy Bischof Foundation and other supporting documents.

It was time for the truth. I was sworn in and with great emotion and pain in my voice I read Regan’s Victim’s Impact Statement. I remember how quiet it became as I read. From the stand I could see the convicted felon, inmate R58888, in his blue jumpsuit, his chains rattling as he shifted in his chair. Behind him sat his mother, sister and grandma. I saw tears in the eye of the court reporter. I saw love on my daughter’s face as I spoke her words.

The VIS was also sent to the probation officer assigned to do the pre-sentencing report in the weeks prior to sentencing and the Prison Review Board after sentencing. The victim can frequently significantly influence the sentencing and probation. 

The Victim’s Impact Statement helps to balance the scales of justice for victims of abuse.