Showing posts with label Holding My Hand Through Hell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holding My Hand Through Hell. Show all posts

Monday, October 28, 2013

In Memory of Susan Murphy Milano

Susan2

Today (Oct.28) marks the 1 year anniversary of Susan's death. What better way to remember her than to read and learn from the posts that she left behind. There are literally thousands of messages from her at Murphy Milano's Journal, all indignantly calling for the safety of abuse victims.

"But for those fearful or unable to seek service from a domestic violence shelter provider, there is a book available that will take a victim from living in fear to a plan, with a roadmap to safety. "

Document the Abuse, Susan Murphy Milano, Neil Schori, Sandra L. Brown

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) Timeless Tool For Escaping Abusive Relationships


Carrying the torch of Susan Murphy Milano’s work through Document The Abuse,  many advocates are bringing awareness to audiences and organizations across the country of the benefits of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and teaching how it can be incorporated into existing protocols.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) was first introduced in Susan Murphy Milano's book, Time's Up: A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship and is still one of the most  significant contributions to the complicated issue of keeping victims of abuse from becoming murder victims. The importance of the EAA to first responders, law enforcement, court personnel, hospital personnel and domestic violence advocates was Murphy Milano's mission before her untimely death from cancer on October 28, 2012.

Time's Up contains all the information needed to create and complete a personal safety and escape plan, enhancing standard safety plans and personalizing the victim's own requirements.  The book has been offered as training to several advocates and organizations around the country and is often used as a textbook.

What is the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA)?  From Document The Abuse:

The E.A.A. is a detailed, yet simple to perform process that walks the victim step-by-step through creating a legal document that will stand the test of many of the legal hurdles that are thrown at intimate partner violence and stalking cases.

The process helps the victim to prepare her history of abuse and stalking, utilize the included documents, gather other needed evidence, and distribute the documentation to specified people.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit contains information that is critical to help victims’ in documenting their experiences and creating a record to insure that instances of abuse are memorialized should they be needed for future use in the legal system” (Donna Pendergast is the First Assistant Attorney General Office of Special Investigations in Lansing Michigan.)

It is as immediate as buying the Times Up! e-book, downloading it, and following the instructions to prepare the document. For those who are worried about storing an e-book on a shared computer, the Times Up! book also conveniently comes in a print book format with easy to Xerox document pages. Used as a self-help procedure, any victim can easily complete this confidential process and be assured that their experiences are legally documented.

“The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is another tool to save lives. It’s practical, inspirational and USEABLE. The insights are precise and pragmatic.” (Hon. Nancy Sidote-Salyers, Former Prosecutor, Retired Circuit Court Judge)

The victims will also produce a short video telling in their own words, what abuse and stalking they have experienced. Included in the video is identifying information of the perpetrators identity, a photo, his social security number, place of employment, and patterns of abuse conduct.

Lethality factors are also discussed: weapons, assaults on others, drug use, mental health history and any other detailed information that helps the court understand his dangerousness.

Items of DNA evidence are suggested for collection, legal documents are filled out, a notarization process is followed, and distribution to safe and legal persons makes sure the E.A.A. is available should the victim be seriously harmed, goes missing, or is killed.

iEAA the App from Apple


The iEAA App brings safety planning into the age of technology. Developed by Allen Corporation in conjunction with Susan Murphy Milano and Chet Hosmer, the iEAA App was unveiled on July 4, 2012 (Independence Day) allowing the information to be downloaded and used on any Apple product.

This is the first phase of the App and further improvements and developments are currently in the works to bring the app into the Android market and capability of cloud storage.


Who Needs an EAA and Why?

Until now, the standard response for intimate partner violence and stalking from law enforcement has been:

* Victims are told to report (but action is only taken if you can show evidence of the abuse)
* Victims are told to go to a shelter
* Victims are told to get a restraining order (but usually only granted if there is evidence of the abuse)
* Victims are told to move away (but leaving behind careers, family, and assets)
* Victims are told to stay with someone else
* Victims are told stalking is hard to prove and stalking laws are often weak and poorly defined

This response does not help the victim ‘document’ the situations and specifics of her abuse and her abuser. Outside of a police report or restraining order, documentation has still not occurred. In a case of future serious injury, the victim goes missing, or is killed, nothing exists to link her to her story.

The E.A.A. has the propensity to document the historical aspects of the abuse and record it to challenge 'hearsay' arguments in a case. By simply following the steps of creating an E.A.A. a victim can provide 'before the event' information that presents the history of her case prior to serious injury, disappearance or death. Click here to read more about how the E.A.A. benefits a victim's case.

Information such as details of how the perpetrator has said he would carry out harming, abducting or killing her can be detailed. Admissions or comments made to her about other victims the perpetrator has harmed can be listed. Likely hiding places for weapons or evidence can be revealed. Possible alibis that he would make up for his defense (including identification of people who could be the perp’s co-defendants in her harm, abduction or murder). If the victim has existing scars or active wounds, they can be documented at the time of the E.A.A. creation.

The E.A.A. has the same informational capabilities of providing unknown and unrecognized abuser and stalking risk factors known by the victim.

For detailed information on how the EAA supports cases of abuse: CLICK HERE

For information on education, awareness and training on the EAA or personal assistance in creating your safety plan: CLICK HERE

If you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship, BEFORE you announce your plans in a fit of anger or unclear thinking, think again and do what it takes to save your own life and keep your children safe.  Create your Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit to maximize your chances of getting out alive!

If you are out of the relationship and need extra support, you can contact The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction for expert information on how to heal.



Time's Up, Susan Murphy Milano,Document The Abuse,ImaginePublicityTime’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship can be ordered through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, and all online digital and local book retailers. 

For quantity case orders and discounts, please contact ImaginePublicity, Tel: 843-808-0859, Email: contact@imaginepublicity.com







For detailed information about Susan Murphy Milano in her true crime memoir, Holding My Hand Through Hell, her last book, is available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, and all online digital and local book retailers, or directly from the publisher, Ice Cube Press.



Based on a true story, told with the flow of a novel, spiced with frank wisdom and wit, Holding My Hand Through Hell encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family’s life and is an inspiration to become an advocate for change in this world we all share. This book will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers both applauding this woman as well as wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour. Twenty years later, she has realized that God must have been holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.







Monday, October 8, 2012

"A-LIST" Virtual Book Tour for HOLDING MY HAND THROUGH HELL by Susan Murphy Milano


Susan Murphy Milano,Ice Cube Press,ImaginePublicityHolding My Hand Through Hell by Susan Murphy Milano

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer's family and a daughter's quest for justice long after the heart-wrenching murder of her mother. Susan Murphy Milano embraces a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.
Based on a true story, told with the flow of a novel, spiced with frank wisdom and wit, Holding My Hand Through Hell encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family s life and is an inspiration to become an advocate for change in this world we all share.
Holding My Hand Through Hell will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers both applauding this woman as well as wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour. Twenty years later, she has realized that God must have been holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.
"Raw and riveting Holding My Hand Through Hell starts fast and never lets up. In this powerful memoir, author Susan Murphy Milano throws open her personal closet so that we see what drives this woman to tirelessly champion voiceless victims and the people who love them"...... Steve Jackson, NY Times best-selling author

About Susan Murphy-Milano

SUSAN MURPHY MILANO is a specialist in intimate partner violence and works nationally with domestic violence programs, law enforcement and prosecutors providing technical and consulting services in “high risk” domestic violence and stalking related cases. Her principal objective is to intervene before a victim is seriously injured or killed. Utilizing a procedure which she devised, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit© Murphy Milano’s clients are all still alive.
SUSAN MURPHY MILANO is the author of DEFENDING OUR LIVES (Doubleday 1996), MOVING OUT, MOVING ON (Kind Living Press 2008), and TIME’S UP (Dog Ear Publishing 2010) which guide those in abusive relationships to a place of freedom and safety.
Susan’s quest for justice was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lauternberg Act.  She has been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC’S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women’s Day, Family Circle, US News and World Report to name only a few.   She has frequently participated in guest media commentary panels on major news programs.
To learn more about Susan and her work, please visit the following sites:

Holding My Hand Through Hell

Book Tour Stops:

Thursday, October 4: Official Launch from Heartland Fall Forum with Jillian Maas Backman and Ice Cube Press Publisher, Steve Semken on radio show, Change Already!  

Friday, October 5:  Writing is a CrimeDiane Fanning (wrote the foreword)
Saturday, October 6: Shattered Lives with Donna R. Gore LISTEN LIVE
Tuesday, October 9: NeilSchori.Com Pastor Neil Schori
Wednesday, October 10: Losing Austin, Finding MyselfAnita Sullivan
Thursday, October 11: Safe Relationships MagazineSandra L. Brown, MA
Friday, October 12:  Statement AnalysisPeter Hyatt
Monday, October 15: HopeForHealing.Org and GayleCrabtree.ComGayle Crabtree
Tuesday, October 16: Crime Wire with Dennis Griffin LISTEN LIVE
Wednesday, October 17: Justice Cafe
Thursday, October 18: Danielle Pierre
Friday, October 19: Washington TimesPaula Carrasquillo
Monday, October 22: PamelaChapman.Biz Pamela Chapman
Tuesday, October 23: The Roth Show BlogDr. Laurie Roth
Wednesday, October 24: AnnyJacoby.ComAnny Jacoby
Thursday, October 25: Amy Elk, Voice Over Actress, and Justice for NiqueAmy Elk
Friday, October 26: Doc Bonn BlogDr. Scott Bonn
Monday, October 29: Cynthia Caron
Tuesday, October 30: DonnaGore.ComDonna R. Gore "LadyJustice"
Thursday, November 1: Crime, She WritesCathy Scott
Friday, November 2: BurlBarer.Net, Burl Barer
Monday, November 5: Survivors JusticePatricia McKnight
If you would like to review HOLDING MY HAND THROUGH HELL and join the virtual book tour, please contact ImaginePublicity:  
Email:  contact@imaginepublicity.com

Thursday, February 16, 2012

A Bridge to Understanding “Holding my Hand through Hell” – The Book


By Donna R. Gore, M.A.

"On the street I saw a small girl cold and shivering in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I became angry and said to God, Why did you permit this? Why don't you do something about it? For a while God said nothing.That night He replied quite suddenly, I certainly did do something about it, I made you. - Unknown-

I don’t expect you to understand domestic violence, or more descriptively, intimate partner violence on my say so alone…. for I am not an expert. Nor should you be able to understand it from the point of view of your local non-profit director, your shelter program coordinator, a TV show or your neighbor next door who is “occasionally beaten.” Susan Murphy Milano and I have a lot in common…and we have other life experiences that are dissimilar. I know parental homicide up close and personal, like she. I also know about stolen childhood, losses…and gains of the medical variety – 55 times to be exact! I know about loss and I know about grief…and I know about insecurity and confidence in spite of….

I consider myself incredibly lucky to have survived it all… “in one piece” as they say… I also consider myself incredibly lucky to have been among the few who had a personal preview of her upcoming book, “Holding My Hand through Hell.” One long July 4th weekend last summer, I took that journey. I was naïve enough to think I had learned enough intellectually and I would “just be adding details to that knowledge.” How wrong I was! It was like passing over to the other side known as hell, constantly engulfed in an inferno of fear, unpredictability, pain and cruelty.

It was an account told in the first person beginning from childhood to the end of the journey with a woman who “thought she knew better from previous experience,” having grown up in a house of horrors and then choosing partners who apparently repeated that pattern.

However, this book is so much more than “some woman’s story.” I was transformed and touched to my very soul with each and every page. It was personal… It was visceral. It was honest. It was told through the eyes of a child making deals with God to stay alive long enough to plan her escape with her mother… or so she hoped…. For a child to bear such a constant burden is totally unfathomable to me!

The tragedy of a revered “monster/father” who was sworn to uphold the law and who could do no wrong in the eyes of the public was the biggest most disgraceful injustice ever! He used that badge as a license to abuse his family beyond all comprehension.

It was an era in which such activities were “private matters” behind closed doors, with few community resources except for the occasional priest or school official. In the act of disbelieving an innocent child reached out with poetry as a cry for help , and was beaten down to submission and called a liar. It truly broke my heart!

To this reader, that part of the book said this was a sign of more grave things to come. The pages continued to reveal a journey so treacherous filled with “survival of the fittest “ episodes… thinking on your feet…always being at least one step ahead of the monster. Rejection, punishment, masquerading for the public.. a mother caught in the middle between love for her children and a continuous dance with impending death.

My heart sank and then it broke a million times over… I cried again and again… The innocent child grew into a young woman, only to be threatened and violated by the monster…and men to come after, whom she thought she chose with her eyes open…but not really.

How could she have known? The trees in the forest were so thick with dysfunction, no one could have foreseen when survival is your only goal. Life as an adult was a quest to help others in similar circumstances… many more trials and tribulations and incredible loss, such loss! ‘Just when you think another tragedy could not possibly befall one person ,it happened again and again! Even at her father’s funeral there was the ultimate irony… as if the devil was laughing at Susan! But she survived as she always had!

I will not reveal if there is the “mandatory happy ending,” for happy endings may only be reserved for Walt Disney movies…and not real life. What I can say, is that Susan made another escape plan, and she walked on the beach gathering strength and probably feeling her mother’s presence.

Be brave, hold your head high and never say die… (even though you feel like dying more than you’d admit). Anyone who has survived what Susan has ,cannot be judged too harshly for her past deeds. Although she could not “Slay the dragon” and bring her mother to safety as she wanted, she did something few people have ever done….. She fought against insurmountable odds, climbed her personal Mount Everest and continues to help others to beat the odds against their real life monsters.

We respect and love you for the person you have become, Susan! ‘Such a long, long journey since that innocent child fought back against all odds! For more information on future purchases, go to www.susanmurphymilano.com.


Holding My Hand Through Hell


"Holding My Hand Through Hell" will be released Fall of 2012, published by Ice Cube Press. To Pre-Order the book click here on Amazon.

To read more of Donna Gore's posts, and learn more about "LadyJustice," refer to her website: www.donnagore.com Donna is also a Featured Columnist for Here Women Talk and the host of SHATTERED LIVES each Saturday at 5ET.







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