They Don't Deserve to Die

By Diane Fanning

The ultimate act of domestic violence is homicide. The lead-up to that fatal act comes in a lot of forms. In many cases, it is physical violence with some women being battered to the point of hospitalization on a regular basis. With others it is more subtle—the destruction is emotional, shaped by intimidation, control, and the shredding of self-confidence.

No matter how it manifests, it is clear that the most dangerous time for any of these women is when they decide to leave and for up to two years after they take action. That is the time that many women die. I’ve seen this truth fulfilled in book I’ve written about the deaths of Susan McFarland in Texas, Kathleen Peterson in North Carolina and now in my most recent book, UNDER COVER OF THE NIGHT, the death of Jocelyn Earnest in Forest, Virginia.

All of these women had many things in common. Susan, Kathleen and Jocelyn were all well-loved by family and friends. They all had high-powered jobs with good salaries. Not one of them had any of the serious risk factors that often presage a violent death. All three seemed unlikely victims and yet, all three died in their homes at the hands of their husbands.

Their relationships were marked by controlling behavior. Their spouse always got his way. For example, when Jocelyn wanted a cozy little cabin getaway on the lake, her husband insisted on designing and erecting a $1.2 million showcase. She went along to keep him happy.

In every case, these spouses had a secret life. Two had a locked room or forbidden space. Two had sexual alliances outside of the home—one of fleeing nature with multiple partners, the other a relationship of more serious import. One had been a high octane stock broker, one a bestselling author and the third, Jocelyn’s husband Wesley was the Assistant Principal at a high school, entrusted with other people’s children every day.

All three husbands felt free to make belittling comments of their wives in front of others and to criticize their decisions and thoughts. Susan made divorce plans behind her spouse’s back. He hacked into her accounts and discovered her secret. He beat her to death and hid her body. Kathleen discovered her husband’s infidelity and made a decision to leave. He killed her that night in the stairway of her home. He claimed it was an accident.

Jocelyn finally stood up for herself, breaking the bonds that kept her under his control, separating from her spouse and rebuilding her life. Then, she saw him in his Lake House getaway, in bed with another woman. She filed for divorce. Wesley killed her and tried to stage it as a suicide, complete with a note that attempted to make her look like the cheating spouse and him the wronged party.

Wesley believed he would get away with it. He thought that his inheritance from Jocelyn’s death would enable him to keep his beloved lake house. Things did not go as he planned. He was charged with her murder and, without her pay check, he couldn't meet the mortgage and the bank was about to foreclose. The beautiful house on the shore went up in flames.

All three men were convicted of the murder of their wives and sent to prison. (Although one is now out awaiting a new trial on a technicality.) As gratifying as that might be, it does not bring back Susan, Kathleen or Jocelyn—it does not breathe life into three incredible women whose lives were cut short.

Sadly, when I look at their lives and the choices they made after they decided to leave, I see that each of them could have benefited from following the plans in Susan Murphy Milano’s book, TIME’S UP! Had they done so, they may have still been alive today. If you know anyone in a perilous, controlling or abusive relationship, put that book in her hands. Urge her to read and follow the advice and instructions.

We need to help each other. It’s the only way we can avoid unnecessary sorrow and grief. Understand the barriers for leaving an abusive relationship and don’t abandon your friend, co-worker or family member just because she is reluctant to act. She needs your support now more than ever—no matter how long it takes.

Thinking of Susan Murphy Milano: "There are some who bring a light so bright to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains."

Diane Fanning speaks at recent event

Diane Fanning is the author of over 20 published books, both true crime and crime fiction. Her 2014 book releases are UNDER COVER OF THE NIGHT and the historical WWII novel, SCANDAL IN THE SECRET CITY. All her books are available at online book retailers as well as local book stores.

For a complete list of Diane's books, visit her website: DianeFanning.Com

Calyx and Beau Schenecker: A Call to Action

Beau and Calyx Shenecker

by Guest Writer, Diane Fanning

Two years ago today, Julie Schenecker used a handgun to end the lives of her children, 16-year-ol Calyx and 13-year-old Beau.  To obtain that firearm, she lied.  She filled out a form at the gun shop denying that she’d ever been committed to an institution for mental health reasons and she swore she was not addicted to any drugs.

Julie Schenecker is an obvious example of why it is essential to have universal background checks that include accurate input from mental health professionals as well as criminal records for every single transfer of gun ownership.

In Newtown, a young man mowed down 20 six-year-old children and five school staff members.  Using a Bushmaster with a massive ammunition clip, he riddled the tiny, helpless bodies of first graders with bullets.  It was his mother’s gun, legally obtained.

Why do some believe that their right to have fun firing off these lethal weapons designed for mass killing is more important than the lives of our children?  Every right we have as Americans has its limitations—not to curtail our liberty—but to provide equal protection under the law for all of our citizens.

Before Australia banned these assault weapons and clips, they averaged a mass murder every year.  Since then, they have had none—not one.  Weapons designed to kill as many as possible in a short period of time have no place in a civil society.

This past week in Texas, gunfire erupted at Lone Star College.  Three were wounded, many were terrified, the campus was locked down.  A contributing factor to traumatic experience was the insistence of state leaders that faculty and students should be allowed to carry concealed weapons when they go to their schools.

The laissez-faire attitude my state and others have toward responsible, reasonable gun regulations have directly contributed to deaths of its citizens.  The more guns there are in the public square, the more likely the incidence of gun violence.

I understand and accept the strong multi-generational ties to hunting.  I would not advocate for abolishing those weapons.  I understand the psychological need for others to possess handguns in their homes to protect their families, even though, statistically, it is far more likely that weapon will be used to take the life of someone in that house than it will ever be used to defend their personal safety.  I am not suggesting that this right should be taken away.

But one of every two women killed by gunfire dies at the hand of an intimate partner.  States that have adopted laws mandating that all gun ownership exchanges—even private gun sales require background checks—have seen a 40 per cent drop in this lethal form of domestic violence.  Is this minor inconvenience more troublesome than the loss of these women’s lives?

I acknowledge the fear of some Americans that there is a slippery slope—that if we ban one weapon, add one caveat to purchase restrictions, soon the government will take every firearm we own.  The Supreme Court, however, has taken a stand and marked this territory as sacrosanct.  There is a right to the individual ownership of guns.  The slippery slope exists only in the minds of the paranoid, the fanatical and those who have been misled by fear mongers.

It is time to ignore those voices whose purpose in speaking out is only to frighten our fellow Americans.  It is time for all of us to speak up and make it clear that we value the lives of children more than some adult’s recreational pleasure.  It is time to stand up for human life.

Diane Fanning is the author of Sleep My Darlings, the story of the Schenecker tragedy, coming April 30.  It will be Diane’s twentieth published book.

Sleep My Darlings is ready for pre-order at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

"A-LIST" Virtual Book Tour for HOLDING MY HAND THROUGH HELL by Susan Murphy Milano

Holding My Hand Through Hell by Susan Murphy Milano

• Paperback: 286 pages
• Publisher: Ice Cube Press
• ISBN#: 978-1888160673
• Foreword by Diane Fanning, Award winning true crime author of Mommy's Little Girl

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer's family and a daughter's quest for justice long after the heart-wrenching murder of her mother. Susan Murphy Milano embraces a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.

Based on a true story, told with the flow of a novel, spiced with frank wisdom and wit, Holding My Hand Through Hell encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family s life and is an inspiration to become an advocate for change in this world we all share.

Holding My Hand Through Hell will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers both applauding this woman as well as wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour. Twenty years later, she has realized that God must have been holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.

"Raw and riveting Holding My Hand Through Hell starts fast and never lets up. In this powerful memoir, author Susan Murphy Milano throws open her personal closet so that we see what drives this woman to tirelessly champion voiceless victims and the people who love them"...... Steve Jackson, NY Times best-selling author

About Susan Murphy-Milano

SUSAN MURPHY MILANO is a specialist in intimate partner violence and works nationally with domestic violence programs, law enforcement and prosecutors providing technical and consulting services in “high risk” domestic violence and stalking related cases. Her principal objective is to intervene before a victim is seriously injured or killed. Utilizing a procedure which she devised, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit© Murphy Milano’s clients are all still alive.

SUSAN MURPHY MILANO is the author of DEFENDING OUR LIVES (Doubleday 1996), MOVING OUT, MOVING ON (Kind Living Press 2008), and TIME’S UP (Dog Ear Publishing 2010) which guide those in abusive relationships to a place of freedom and safety.

Susan’s quest for justice was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lauternberg Act.  She has been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC’S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women’s Day, Family Circle, US News and World Report to name only a few.   She has frequently participated in guest media commentary panels on major news programs.

To learn more about Susan and her work, please visit the following sites:

SusanMurphy-Milano.Com

DocumentTheAbuse.Com

HoldingMyHandThroughHell.Com

Facebook....Twitter....LinkedIn

Holding My Hand Through Hell

Book Tour Stops:

Thursday, October 4: Official Launch from Heartland Fall Forum with Jillian Maas Backman and Ice Cube Press Publisher, Steve Semken on radio show, Change Already!  

LISTEN TO PODCAST

Friday, October 5:  Writing is a Crime, Diane Fanning (wrote the foreword)

Saturday, October 6: Shattered Lives with Donna R. Gore LISTEN LIVE

Monday, October 8: Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie, Heidi Hiatt

Tuesday, October 9: NeilSchori.Com Pastor Neil Schori

Wednesday, October 10: Losing Austin, Finding Myself, Anita Sullivan

Thursday, October 11: Safe Relationships Magazine, Sandra L. Brown, MA

Friday, October 12:  Statement Analysis: Peter Hyatt

Monday, October 15: HopeForHealing.Org and GayleCrabtree.Com, Gayle Crabtree

Tuesday, October 16: Crime Wire with Dennis Griffin LISTEN LIVE

Wednesday, October 17: Justice Cafe

Thursday, October 18: Danielle Pierre

Friday, October 19: Washington Times, Paula Carrasquillo

Monday, October 22: PamelaChapman.Biz Pamela Chapman

Tuesday, October 23: The Roth Show Blog, Dr. Laurie Roth

Wednesday, October 24: AnnyJacoby.Com, Anny Jacoby

Thursday, October 25: Amy Elk, Voice Over Actress, and Justice for Nique, Amy Elk

Friday, October 26: Doc Bonn Blog, Dr. Scott Bonn

Monday, October 29: Cynthia Caron

Tuesday, October 30: DonnaGore.Com, Donna R. Gore "LadyJustice"

Thursday, November 1: Crime, She Writes, Cathy Scott

Friday, November 2: BurlBarer.Net, Burl Barer

Monday, November 5: Survivors Justice, Patricia McKnight

If you would like to review HOLDING MY HAND THROUGH HELL and join the virtual book tour, please contact ImaginePublicity:  

Email:  contact@imaginepublicity.com

Interviewing Victims Of Crime

By Diane Fanning, Guest Writer

As a true crime writer, I am often asked if I feel fear, apprehension or anxiety when interviewing a murderer or travelling to a remote site where a killer left a body or going into a less than optimal neighborhood in search of an interview subject.  The short answer is: Yes, of course, I am.

However, my reaction to those situations pale in comparison to the intensity of my nervousness I feel when doing another aspect of my work—talking to the family members and friends of the deceased.  The first telephone conversation or face-to-face meeting churns acid in my stomach and makes my hands shake.

I am not afraid of these people but I am fearful that I might say the wrong thing or display the wrong reaction and, without intending to do so, cause a surviving loved one additional pain.  When I meet the victim’s family members and close friends, they are experiencing the worst time in their whole lives.  The world has turned upside down.  They are shattered by grief, desperate for justice and fearful of the emotional price a trial will exact or depleted by the one they just survived.  Their pain is palpable and infectious.

At times, I have been known to cry along with them.  At other times, I’ve sat silent and listened as they ranted about the perpetrator, the crime and the agony of the judicial process.  Some have told me later that being able to share their sorrow and anger with someone not directly involved in their tragedy eased some of the oppressive burden. 

There have been a few along the way, who refused to talk to me or set up conditions that made it impossible because their demands crossed my ethical boundaries or financial limitations.  Although I could readily understand their reluctance, it always broke my heart because I knew that I had failed to reassure them.

One of the reasons I write true crime books is because the most important person in any of these stories is the victim.  I believe that any time we lose a life to a senseless act of violence; it impacts all of us even when it is a stranger.  Those closest to the deceased person feel the loss most keenly but the pain ripples out to the community and beyond to all of us who value life.

When my readers pick up one of my books, I want them to see the victim as a real person—as someone who deserved to live their life to the fullest.  Only family and friends can supply me with the anecdotes and the information about personality that enable me to shape a portrait of their deceased loved one and thus, allow my readers to understand the magnitude of the loss suffered by this crime.

I have found through the years that the people who shared their memories and thoughts with me are grateful that they did.  I’ve received many notes and emails thanking me for remembering their loved one in my book.  Some of these people continue to maintain contact, years after publication.

The more in-depth information I can gather, the better job I do.  When I wrote GONE FOREVER, I had an amazing treasure chest of information about Susan McFarland—access to her personal journal, a sibling’s perspective on her childhood and the memories of friends throughout her life.  I felt a strong emotional connection to her.  I wrote about this feeling in the Afterword of the book:

One morning while driving up Interstate Highway 35 to Austin, Susan McFarland became so real to me that I thought about how much more I would enjoy the ride if she were sitting beside me sharing stories and passing the time together.  Then the realization struck—I would never be able to meet her.  I would never bump into her in Central market.  I would never laugh with her over lunch.  I would never hear the sound of her voice or see the sunny glow of her smile.

At that moment, I was hit by a sense of loss so visceral; it took my breath away and formed pools of water in my eyes.  The light of a life-enriching personality was snuffed out, never to brighten anyone’s day again.   Gone forever—all because of the violent selfishness of one man.

To this day, I think of Susan when I enter the dark recesses of a crime—talking to killers, looking at crime scene photos, reading autopsy reports.  She is my bridge to surviving family and friends, one that allows me to glimpse the inner strength and determination that many of them possess.  She reminds me that her story has the potential to save the lives of other women.  I owe her a debt of gratitude that I can never repay.  

God bless you, Susan McFarland.






Diane Fanning is the author of several true crime and mystery books, including "Mommy's Little Girl," the story of the Caylee Anthony case.  She is also a contributor to the blog, Women In Crime Ink.