Monday, February 20, 2012

Lighter, Easier and Brighter Begins With You—A Hard Pill to Swallow

Light (Photo credit: Road Fun)

By Pamela Chapman

Below are the words to a song produced and sung in the 1980’s.

Ooh-oo child, things’ll get be brighter
Ooh-oo child, things are gonna be easier
Ooh-oo child, things’ll get be brighter

Some day, yeah
We’ll get it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day, when your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day when the world is much brighter

I’ve lived a life filled with all kinds of stuff most of it pretty crappy stuff. I had seasons in my life when I didn’t believe things could or would ever get easier. I saw life as rough, tough and daunting and then you died.

Then something miraculous happened along my life journey. I met an amazing teacher who reminded me that I was a glorious creation in the earth for this time. That after the first born son, there were many others and I was one of the many. And by amazing grace, I came to the realization God had given me everything I needed for this lifetime. The only way my world was going to get easier, lighter and brighter was I grasp what my world was trying to teach me and take responsibility. I had to come to the apprehension no matter how much I ran, wrestled, or denied the buck always stopped with me.

I came to the realization I couldn’t blame my broken relationships, which usually ended with men going away in my life, on the no-good cheating first love who broke my heart when I was eighteen. Nor could I blame the so-called best friend who wore my mom-made, hand-crocheted, gorgeous outfit on her first date with him.

I couldn’t blame the drunkard husband who, when I asked him his choice me or his bottle of Jack Daniels, chose Jack. I couldn’t blame the second husband who lost his battle to cancer. And, my parents—could I blame them? I did for a while until I learned that parents are only grown-up kids who have been ruined by other misguided grown-up kids.

After going around the Mulberry bush of life a few dozen times, I finally acknowledged I had an abandonment issue, to name just one. I needed to resolve the matter personally and inwardly. Facing the truth wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. And even now when the proverbial you-know-what hits the fan and the mirror-of-life reflects its ugliness, I still get choked on the truth pill.

That’s right! Things still happen in my middle-aged life where I’d love to blame someone else for my rotten circumstance. However, I now realize it all begins with me. I create my reality, my world. No one and no thing is responsible. And that realization, my friend, is even a harder pill to swallow.

It’s like one of those nasty, over-sized, sticky vitamin supplements my nutritionist keeps telling me is good for my health. How can it be? It’s nasty. It’s smelly and it gets stuck in my throat. But remarkably, once I hold my nose and gag a few times, I do eventually get it down leading to my feeling better physically which, in turn, leads to mental and emotional good health. And the more often I take my supplements, the easier it gets.

Sometimes, life comes at you blazing spitting thirty-eights. And, before you can recover the guns get bigger and the ammo becomes forty-fives. I’ve had the whirlwind of life hit me hard and brutally and at times it seemed before I could get up and recover from the last spray, I was shot and rolled again. There were times when I felt I was done for the count. And then, a suddenly! An Amazingly!

I came to know the purpose of life, believe it or not, is not to suffer brutally or be its victim. Its purpose is one of abundance, one filled with joy. Life’s experiences are for our expansion which, inevitably, if you learn quickly and don’t fight it, will lead to your joy.

So, can it get easier? Absolutely! When? When you:

1) look within,

2) make deliberate and well thought choices,

3) take responsibility. Whether the choices are good or bad they are yours,

4) and finally, release and move on.

It will get lighter, like the song says, when your head or your thoughts get lighter. And it can and will become brighter when your mind and beliefs conform to your light within.

Let’s look at a passage of Scripture. It is what I know and use for my base. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Ref.: Jeremiah 29:11. How about this one? “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they [you] may have life, and have it to the full.” Ref.: John 10:10.

These scripture certainly sound positive. The thief, the: robber, burglar, shoplifter, pickpocket, bandit, crook mentioned in the second verse is someone or a force that leaves you feeling vulnerable, violated and victimized. I believe this to be your personally created illusions, shadows and delusions. It is your self-sabotaging, subconscious mind chatter and donkey talk haunting you 24/7.

They are the thoughts telling you life can’t get any better because you’re not worthy of a good, loving, and prosperous life. It is the Niagara Falls of negative memories reminding and reinforcing the belief, “You don’t deserve love, and you don’t deserve a brighter future, a laughter-filled, lighter or easier life.” It is the malignant belief that you have to suffer and life has to be hard.

Here’s another Scripture? “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Ref.: Matthew 11:30. Meaning, my burden or my oppression is easy: simple, trouble-free, effortless, uncomplicated, painless and unproblematic.

Heresy you say. What about the Scripture that states, “And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Ref.: Luke 14:27. Could this possibly mean whoever does not carry or bear their own purpose, cause, calling or responsibility cannot follow after or become Me [the Christ minded]?

Let me use one more Scripture to attempt to convince you and then I’ll let you be on your way. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Ref.: Romans 12:2-3.

Now, isn’t that soothing? It should be but probably isn’t because it’s more comfortable and easier to hold on to archaic belief systems that don’t work. The pattern of this world says you must struggle. Life is hard and it’s not your fault. I’m here to tell you that life will bring you ups and downs; and life will mirror back to you who and what you are. Life brings tests and yes, at times, life doesn’t appear to be fair. However, you do not have to be life’s victim.

You can, with ease, understand what these experiences come to teach and learn from the circumstances. You can, with ease, recognize each and every obstacle; and from such create clear objectives, goals and strategies for success. You can comprehend, with ease, how to play the game of life and WIN.

You co-create your life easily or with great difficulty. Realize the only way this world is going to get brighter is when you realize your “things are gonna be easier” begins with you. And yes my friend, that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

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