Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Out of the Darkness: Live in the Light

By Neil Schori

Why do we return to the very things that can harm us so badly?  Alcoholics return to the bottle many years after promising to leave it alone.  We eat well for a time and then fall off the wagon and go back to our overly-indulgent ways.  Each day people are diagnosed with lung cancer, but they refuse to stop smoking the cigarettes that will end up hastening the end of their lives.  It makes no sense, does it?  But we all lured back into the darkness, aren't we?

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul says it like this in the book of Ephesians 5:8~

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light...The Apostle Paul knew something about human nature.  He knew that we need to be reminded to live in the light, because for many different reasons, we tend to walk back into darkness of all varieties.  Why is that?  Why do we return to things and people and relationships that can hurt us so deeply?

My daughter, Ava, broke her arm very severely a little bit over a year ago.  It was such a bad break that it required surgery from one of the most recommended surgeons in the Chicago-land area.  Unfortunately, his schedule was full, and we had to delay her surgery for two weeks.  Ava, my effervescent two year old had to try to live life with her arm in a splint.  Finally the surgery happened and afterward, Ava's arm was put in a cast for three whole weeks.

We planned a celebration at the end of the three weeks, and called it "Ava's Cast-Off Party," and invited all of her neighborhood friends.  We were ready to party...and so was everyone.  Except for Ava.  Our little girl had become so familiar with having a cast, that she still just wanted to use her other arm.  She also had become so scared of the pain, that she was oblivious to the fact that her cast was now gone and she was as able as she ever was before.

Fear and familiarity do that, don't they?  That's why we stay in unhealthy relationships because we don't know how to live free, and the familiar seems so much easier to "do," even when it very well may kill us.  Here's what you have to realize: if you are being abused, you must break free from the fear and familiarity of your abuser.  Tell your story to trusted friends.  Refuse to be silent.  When you break your silence, he will start to lose his control over you.  And suddenly, you'll start to see that living in the light is a wonderful thing.  You were meant for it.

If you need help, I'm here.  I will help you find your way back to the light.



Neil Schori is pastor of Naperville Christian Church.  Visit his website www.neilschori.com


  1. Thank you Neil,

    It comes at a perfect time for me, as I was in 2 non-physical abusive marriages, and I can go for months and feel strong, and then for whatever reason, I start to remember only the good with my second husband, and go into the fantasyland in my mind. After going back time and time again, I now remind myself that this too shall pass. I used to act on the feeling, thinking it was intense love, only to be hurt over and over again. I will now remember to look towards the light, and not the darkness.

  2. Anonymous~

    I'm so grateful that you shared that with us! You will give other women courage to move forward and NOT to look back. Truth over feelings always.



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