Wish Like a Little Girl!

By Karen Rae Elkins

Do wishes come true? In the wee hours of the night I stepped outside on the patio to watch the moonlight dance over the lake. I saw a shooting star but didn't make a wish. Some say if you wish upon a shooting star your wish will come true. When I was a child, I use to wish for things. You know, the birthday wish, the wish you made when the clasp of your necklace touched your charm, or wishing on an eye lash that fell to your cheek. My favorite time to wish was on the feather like petals of a dandelion flower. If you could blow all of the petals off in one blow, your wish was certain to come true. 

 I've recently discovered that abuse can kill the child in you. Just when I thought I was getting it "all together" there is yet another journey to be taken. It's the journey back to the child in me. Healing from abuse seems to be like a kaleidescope of sorts. You turn the gear and discover yet another image to study deeply. I see glimpses of the little girl in me sometimes when I'm fishing. Probably because I fished as a child. Some of my fondest memories were made while fishing. I didn't know it at the time but I believe fishing can build character that will sustain you throughout your life. It gave me a sense of who I am.

It was a different time when I was a child. I didn't know abuse in the world I lived in. I was fearless. The water didn't scare me. Could I swim back then? No, but I could tread water if I had to. There were no dangers in the water, just the invitation to play.  Most girls my age would scream at the sight of crickets and worms. But, not me. I saw bugs and Mayflies as opportunity. "Touching bugs", that was so me. When there was a fish at the end of my line I saw a creature of pure beauty.  Every fish was an chance to marvel at differences. I admired each catch from mouth to fin.  I found joy in the multitude of color that made the fish unique. When the fish were not biting, there were always river banks to explore. I would turn over rocks to see what treasure was hiding underneath. Sometimes the treasure wasn't a treasure at all. It would be a dead fish or worse a snake. Still it didn't stop me from turning over another rock or looking under a piece of driftwood. I'd gather rocks like they were gold and muscle shells as if they were silver.

It's time to bring back the little girl in me. I've missed her fearless spirit, her dare to explore ways, the ability to see treasures all around, and belief that wishes can come true. It is after all Christmas. The time of the birth of my Lord, Jesus Christ. He said it best when he said, "Be as little children." On the 13th of December, the eve before this blog publishes there was a meteor shower over North America. The skies over my home were clear and cold.  I had some special hot chocolate to keep me warm as I watched the show from my patio. I decided to re-connect with the child in me once again and I made lots of Christmas wishes for my sisters who are in the bondages of abuse. I may not have known your name but I know what you have been through or are experiencing right now. 

To the one in three women like me, this was my wish for you. I wish you knew that wherever you are in your journey, you are not alone. You have not been forgotten. I know your struggles. It is my strongest desire that you learn to be safe and protect yourself. I hope you know how precious you are to God. What has happened to you doesn't make you the monster he's told you you are. It makes you a very strong woman, capable of your hearts desire. May you find your anchor in life. Capture all that is good in this life and never let go. Release the doubt in yourself.  Be the captain of your own boat. I long to see better days for you and times of peace and hope. I wish you'd take a chance to breathe in without fear and exhale without despair. I wish you could see the lights I see and know they speak of healing and love. Let it be. 

Until next time, fish steady my friends in all you do. Merry Christmas and Best Fishes this New Year. May it be an incredible year for fishing women out of the depths of abuse.