Justice Delayed is Justice Denied, or Maybe Not

By Charles Moncrief

O LORD, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save! Why dost thou shew me iniquity and grievance? for spoiling and violence are before me: and strife and contention. The law is slacked, and judgment doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about; therefore wrong judgment proceedeth. They are terrible and dreadful... They shall come all for violence.... Art thou not from everlasting, O LORD God, Holy One? Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil: wherefore lookest thou upon them that deal treacherously, and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the righteous?
Habakkuk 1:2-13 (KJV, excerpt)

Habakkuk, one of the so-called “minor prophets” of ancient Israel, cried out to God in protest of injustice and oppression. Since he lived during the time of the Babylonian Exile, his lament was on a national level. Now that I’ve acknowledged the original purpose of this text, I’ve taken the liberty of applying the translated text in a modern setting.

The words of this prophet scream at us today on a personal level. Just as the prophet was lamenting that he looked around and saw suffering, so can we. And just as the prophet likely included himself as one of those who suffered, so can we.

Oppression is all too real in domestic violence and in crimes against persons.
Injustice is all too real in the obstacles placed before us when we want to act on it.

• When we seek redress in the courts for wrongs done to spouses and children.
• When we seek evidence buried by those entrusted with it.
• When we seek uncorrupted autopsy findings.
• When we seek to remove the unworthy from the ranks of law enforcement.
• When we seek representation from attorneys less concerned with obtaining justice than with protecting their ability to perform before the same judge in the future.
• When we seek to hold our elected and appointed officials accountable for misbehavior.

How frustrating it is today, as we look around and see that the need for action is great, and then realize that we are so powerless to make a difference!

Well, are really so powerless?

Consider God’s reply to Habakkuk in this excerpt from chapter 2.
And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Behold, the just shall live by his faith. The earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea. The LORD is in his holy temple: let all the earth keep silence before him.

Can we appropriate God’s reply to Habakkuk? Do we have any reason to see a vision of hope for something better? Even if we do, is there any reason to write it down as the prophet was commanded to do, so that it can be published far and wide?

I believe we have every reason to do so. Look around, and above all the destruction and violence we see signs that there is light ahead. Here are just a few examples.

• In the state of North Carolina, one survivor of domestic violence has formed an organization to address the subject. Some of the results have included state legislation, and a successful lawsuit against a police body that failed in its duty to protect and to serve.
• One year ago the Time’s Up! blog was started by a few people who had a vision. They followed an inner(?) drive to write the vision down, so that it would be published far and wide.
• Not long after I joined the ranks of contributing writers, I learned of several Blog Talk Radio programs that address these issues of violence, crime, and injustice. They gave voice to those who suffer, as well as to those who actively do something about it. Lawmakers have been influenced by the spreading of this vision. If legislation has not yet been proposed, it is only a matter of time before laws will be passed.
• Resource materials are now available to assist in escaping abusive relationships, in surviving the trauma of crime, and in rebuilding the lives of survivors.
• Church leaders are recognizing their past mistakes in properly addressing violence survival issues, and the pastoral landscape is changing -- though slowly.
• Pastors are networking with resource providers and with those who are better equipped to respond effectively in a more practical manner than “Give him another chance,” “Forgive and forget,” and so on.
• Networking is spreading on a wider scale, to force accountability in the courts and in the halls of government when injustice has occurred and lives have been lost.

So Habakkuk had a vision, and so can we. Here is an excerpt of the prophet’s response, from the third and final chapter.
His glory covered the heavens, and the earth was full of his praise. The sun and moon stood still. Thou didst walk through the sea, through the heap of great waters. Although the fig tree not blossom, neither fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive fail, and the fields yield no meat; the flock be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength.

So this is all well and good, you might say. And amazingly enough, I agree with you!
In the first chapter the prophet cries out to God asking Him to do something.
In the second chapter God tells him He will, but in His own time.
In the third chapter the prophet says that while he’s waiting, he will praise God.

For some reason you may not find this satisfactory. While God’s timing is perfect, many people continue to suffer and die as we wait.

This is my challenge to you. If this idea is distressing to you, talk with God about it. Maybe you may find an unexpected gift in His answer.

Grace and Peace,
Charles

Fishing Steady Through the Storm

By Karen Rae Elkins

Sometimes the anticipation of an event is worse than the actual event, Eight empty pages put me in a state of dread. They laid on the floor next to me, staring back at me in black and white. The Evidentiary Will and Abuse Affidavit seemed like a curse, a black cloud hanging over my life. Did I really want to mull over a past with knowledge that the document before me could be used in the future? Not only no, but Hell-O'-No! The only silver lining in this black cloud would be that someone hell bent on ending my life in one way or another would spend time in jail for his actions. If he was going to plot and carry out the end of my life, I'm going to have my say, "the last word" if you want to put it that way.

I thought the Will would damage my life. As a former abused women, I'm all about damage control. I've come so far down the road from abuse to re-visit the past. My schedule was full. I was in the middle of preparing for my first fishing event that would be 189 men and me. I didn't have time to be bothered with recovery time that I was sure to need after recalling the abuse on film. After all, the truth sometimes hurts.

Violence is a hard pill to swallow. I rationalized every reason to not complete the affidavit. I contemplated just dropping out, giving up, just walking out the door and never coming back. I wanted to run, run away. I was not safe. The worst choice I could make would be to minimized the present danger. I did that too. I told myself I could get out of any situation. I just needed to be more aware of my surroundings, right? Wrong. This is the fatal mistake those who end up on CNN or FOX News make or worse, the ones who don't make the news.

Angry does not begin to touch the fire and pure disgust I felt. To my surprise I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable asking for help. I am a confident woman, and yet the uneasy feelings crept up on me. Abuse never ceases to amaze me. Just when you think you have it all going on, you discover yet another battle to be won.

I had to gather my evidence for the Will and Abuse Affidavit. I pulled the documents from past offenses from the folder. Most keep their documents in a safe place. I keep my evidence of abuse under my bed for easy access. I had not added to the folder since February of 2010. I had Sixteen precious weeks of peace.

I double clicked to open the DV folder on my computer. It stores a mixture of my life and articles written by others, it stores media evidence, photographs, written words, and sometimes my deepest thoughts. I needed a picture of the potential suspect. I went through hours of family photos to finally find one photo of him that I had not deleted.

Next I went to my journals. Most fishermen keep records of the lakes they visit. True to that nature, I have some great documentation mixed with the battles I've faced off the water. I had to put to pen several examples of abuse for the affidavit. The journal made it easy to recall dates and events. I decided to tear out three pages from my journal to add to the evidence and present them in the Will. These three pages probably hurt more than any fist. I couldn't get past the first paragraph, so I just stopped. Sure, it was an important day to remember. However, the memories were tearing me apart word by word.

I just didn't want to start filling in the blanks from the Affidavit. It was a calling I wasn't ready to answer, a major test. I could ace the test or fail to complete. I wanted to erase my past. I blamed myself. I had made bad decisions. What about my family? Once I started writing I took breaks to talk with friends. Anything to distract me from the task at hand was a welcome. The first couple of pages were the legals. I, being of sound mind, sign this document and initial each page in front of two witnesses and a notary. I would complete this section upon filling out the following pages.

The next page was pretty standard, our names, our social security numbers, the date of our marriage, our children. Our place of employment.

The meat and potatoes of the Affidavit was next. I have prepared this document in the event something happens to me. I am ..... a victim of domestic violence. I used my journals to recall the dates. I briefly stated examples of the violence I've taken from him starting with the day he fractured my face and ending with the latest event. I included violence he dealt to others. I ended the statement with the most recent event.

I was happy to be back to the legal evidence. I filled the blanks of Police Reports, Protection Orders, Divorce Decree, and weapons he is known to own. Then it gets pretty personal concerning my abuser. Does he take medications. Is he in treatment for any reason. Does he use illegal drugs or have a drinking problem. I would have never thought to include such important information. I met two witnesses in front of a notary, everyone signed the legal document and I was off to the church the final requirement to be included in the affidavit.

When you are on the firing line, just shoot. So it was lights, camera, action, shoot. One of the local churches agreed to film my testimony. Standing in front of the camera, I held the Affidavit up. I stated that the document had been witnessed and signed by a notary. Then I went page by page, just reading my statement. From start to finish it was a mere 6 minutes. I didn't miss a beat. I thanked the church and headed to work. The release I felt was wonderful. The dread I felt was my battle. What he meant for evil, I have used for good. I've given copies of my Will to two trusted friends and it will be added to a library of the affidavits of women who have championed the task of completing there story of abuse.

You see, before I prepared the affidavit, I had a bad fishing tournament. I tried to focus on fish, but it just didn't happen. It was that dark cloud... It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. I ripped the trolling motor off the boat, weathered a bad storm and only caught one fish, be it a big fish, but just couldn't connect a hook with a fish. Even so, I held my head high because nothing stopped me from breaking new ground in the area of abuse and in fishing. I'm in the league of fishermen, literally. I say with confidence that I wouldn't change a thing even if I could. Why? After it was all said and done, affidavit complete, I went back to the lake again to fish yet another tournament. I caught my share of fish and more big fish! My hand literally looked like a brillo pad from bite marks. I could do no wrong. It was amazing. I caught all of my fish on one rod, the purple and white rod dedicated to victims of abuse. It's inscribed with the words fish steady. I got rid of the black cloud.

Abuse is complicated, demanding, and often leads to more questions than answers until you complete the affidavit. It's a strategy to be included in your fight. Not only is is documentation should anything potentially happen to you, It is, "Six minutes to freedom".

Until next time, fish steady my friends, and I will do the same. much love your way. karen

Editors Note:  Please see the re-enactment of the video testimony used in preparing the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit.  If you are leaving a violent relationship you need to have the safety plan outlined in the book by Susan Murphy-Milano, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship."

Too many wait too long!  Don't wait, just do it!

"My Cry For Help"

By Susan Murphy-Milano

I am posting this in hopes you will take a moment to help me.

I can jump up and down all day long and never drive the point across enough that violence in the home is the slaughter of innocent victims and their children dying at the hands of men who believe they hold the ultimate power to play God, killing and erasing human lives.

I am embarrassed to this day, although more than 20 years have passed to say how I became an expert in the issue of abuse, stalking and intimate partner homicide and officer related domestic violence. I am ashamed to have grown up in a home where the man who gave me life, a law enforcement officer, my father, regularly terrorized and beat my mother.

As a small child the only aide I could offer my mom was to pull the chair from the kitchen table up to the telephone so I could call someone for help while my father was beating my mother bloody. The moment I found my mom’s body lying in her own pool of blood dead of a single gunshot wound to the head I lost my entire world.

After my parents died I would create a world like no other, a world I knew all too well. A world under my watch a woman and her child would no longer be terrorized, beaten or living in constant fear. A world where prosecutors and law enforcement did their jobs when I took a victim's case of stalking or domestic violence. A world where when a woman was murdered I stood with the family demanding answers and justice. A world where thousands of victim’s calls for help regardless of the hour were answered and directed to services 24/7 and are thriving because of it today. A world created because I refused to allow another woman like my mother to die on my watch.

Fast forward to my life today, twenty years later working towards the same goals with a mad scientist like fever to come up with the cure. A cure created to protect victims of domestic violence and stalking alive away from dangerous controlling and potentially lethal abusers. A cure, that if I cannot prevent a tragedy because I am unable to be there personally directing the victim to safety, at least when they are found murdered, or they are reporte d missing by the loving husband or concerned boyfriend, justice will prevail even from the grave.

Yes, the cure is here and now available.
Spread the word about the prescription. I need your help to accomplish this important milestone. Without you the victims will continue filling the cemetaries.

I could ask you to do a shout-out to Oprah, Gayle King, Jane Velez- Mitchell, Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, Lis Wheil or Nancy Grace that may be effective if your email can get past the spam filter, providing its read, and a live person responds, but that is not as powerful as your voice.

Each time you read a story on the Internet of another stalking or domestic violence related death post a comment with the link to the “Time’s Up” book and Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and Video which has step-by-step instructions in Chapter 4 for a victim to create (example of the video is below). Let others know the prescription is now available for world-wide use to every victim of stalking and domestic violence. Send an email each time to a reporter after you see a story on domestic violence and tell them about the prescription. Write the producers of news and crime shows so they mention it each time they discuss a tragic case where another woman has been murdered and the person of interest has yet to be arrested. Ask bloggers, Internet sites the drudge report, huffington post, smoking gun, mom logic or reporters, radio show personalities to consider writing a review on the information and strategies in the book. Also, if you would, leave a comment on Amazon.com.

Time’s Up' is more than a manual, a handbook, it’s more than just another book, it’s a ‘Lifesaver,’ a surefire roadmap chocked full of ways to document evidence and protect yourself; in protecting yourself, you are also protecting your children from a life with an abuser. With your help we will eventually see a copy of ‘Time’s Up’ in every library, every police department, every school, every church and every shelter where those who need help can utilize it and protect themselves from an abuser.

"Times Up" needs national exposure. It wasn't written to impress the professionals. It was written to save lives.” Peter Hyatt, Investigator, State of Maine Statement Analysis Labratory for Scientific Interrogation.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Since this was written in 2010 there is a new website available where victims and advocates alike can get information about the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: Document The Abuse.Com





Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS