Showing posts with label Rihanna. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rihanna. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Chris, Rihanna, and What We Can Expect Now



by Roger Canaff 

If an adult, even a young one, can be labeled by his actions, Chris Brown is a violent, narcissistic thug. The savage, lengthy beating he inflicted on his then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009 earned him a felony conviction, something not particularly common in the world of intimate partner violence. I saw quite a few of those cases as a prosecutor, many of them violent and damaging, but few other than homicides that merited the possibility of a prison sentence. It’s a possibility Brown avoided, but happily so for many adoring fans who still refer to that drawn-out, bludgeoning attack as a “mistake.”

Since that mistake, Brown has shown again and again an explosive, boundary-bereft side and a frightening inability to even fully control himself.

Now, for whatever reasons she has, Rihanna has chosen to request a relaxation of the protective order she was granted against him, and to collaborate with him musically. Collaboration may be all it is. Or, she may be entertaining a friendship or something more with her attacker, a circumstance often encountered if rarely justified. She was a blameless victim in the pummeling she endured, and since I know nothing of her personally I won’t seek to judge whatever reunification she’s navigating with Chris Brown now.

But I will judge the “Birthday Cake” remix she is releasing and on which Brown joins her, because it’s classless and crass, even by the standards of Rihanna who often objectifies herself sexually in her music. But what makes this first collaboration since Brown’s arrest and conviction far worse is the past that underscores it. What Chris Brown adds to the magic of “Birthday Cake” includes the lines “Girl, I wanna f--- you right now. Been a long time, I’ve been missin’ your body.”

Bravo, Chris! This is far more than an expression of what I suspect are your creative limits or your grasp of subtlety and real sexuality (which I rather enjoy, although I find it resonates more when it isn’t reduced to the sputtering of a worked-up child). It’s also a window into how you likely viewed this woman before you viewed her as a punching bag. She’s a toy as far as you’re concerned, and that’s how you want to treat her. First sexually. Then violently. Then sexually again.

Take a wild guess, dear reader, as to whether a pattern is forming here. 


Lewdness in pop music is a fact of modern life. Many would criticize Rihanna for the overt sexuality she injects into her music and speculate darkly from it on how she views herself. I won’t. Frankly, she has the right to engage her sexuality in any way she sees fit and I won’t impose my model or that of anyone else in an effort to judge her. What she does artistically and how it might affect the millions of girls who look up to her is best discussed elsewhere.

For now, what’s clear is that Rihanna, a beautiful and talented young woman, was beaten- breathtakingly- by a man who now joins her in a song in which he celebrates the idea using her like a plastic doll. That’s wrong on more than one level. Unfortunately, I doubt either of them have a clue.


A widely known child protection and anti-violence against women advocate, legal expert, author and public speaker, Roger Canaff has devoted his legal career to the eradication of violence against women and children.

Roger Canaff: Anti-Violence Advocate, Child Protection Specialist, Legal Expert Blog: WCSV (Women, Children, Sex, Violence: Outcry, Analysis, Discussion) www.rogercanaff.com




Friday, August 20, 2010

The Way You Lie!

By Gayle Crabtree
Keeping our children safe includes talking with them about domestic violence. We have to also get them to understand that songs like “Love the Way You Lie” with Rhianna and Chris Brown is just wrong in my opinion.
"What are Rihanna and Eminem really saying with the song "I Love the Way You Lie"? Domestic violence is wrong even though this video indicates otherwise. I'd love to know wouldn't you? While we're at it I'd love to know what Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox were thinking when they created the video. 

For those of you who haven't seen this piece of junk it's on YouTube right now. Be warned before you watch it. The video is graphic and raw. It could have been used to condemn domestic violence instead it condones it. Listeners and viewers get the impression that it's ok to beat women. Even worse, the title "I Love the Way You Lie" hints that women like to be beaten."....www.gaylecrabtree.com


The raw graphics and violent scenes are as disturbing as the lyrics. Something even more shocking lingers underneath. This song, “Love the Way You Lie” is already a hit. This means that even more kids will get the idea that domestic violence is ok.
Video for “Love the Way You Lie”is on YouTube. The song’s lyrics are online. Beware before you read/watch this. The violent scenes of domestic violence are as disturbing as the lyrics.
One of the last lines of the song is about tying a woman to the bed and setting the house on fire around her. Then, “Love the Way You Lie” goes a step farther. It gives the impression that women like being abused.
Do our kids needed to be influenced by this garbage? Talk to them about this song. Tell them that domestic violence is wrong now. Make the message that no one likes or deserves to be abused unmistakable.
There are people who can help you start the conversation. The http://www.ndvh.org can help. No one deserves to be hit or abused. Call 1.800.799 SAFE to get help.
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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Rihanna and Chris: The Year in Review



By: Gaétane Borders








It was just over a year ago that the world was shocked to learn that Pop’s Princess had been brutally beaten by her then boyfriend. The picture of a facially bruised and swollen Rihanna was later leaked to the world, and everyone heard the allegations against Chris Brown. Reports indicated that he had punched, bitten, and threatened to kill Rihanna while riding around Los Angeles in his car. Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault in June, and was sentenced to five years' probation in addition to 1,400 labor-oriented community service hours. Both Chris and Rihanna later appeared in primetime interviews to address their side of the highly publicized crime.


So, whose side did the public take? With the graphic picture of Rihanna’s bloodied face in the media and all over the internet, you would think that everyone would come to her defense.


However, in a survey done by the Boston Public Health Commission, almost half of Boston-area teenagers said Rihanna was responsible for Chris Brown's attack. The survey of 200 Boston youths age 12 to 19 found that 51% said Brown held responsibility, 46% said Rihanna was responsible, and 52% said both were to blame for the incident. In addition, 52% said the media was treating Brown unfairly, and "a significant number of males and females" surveyed said Rihanna was destroying Brown's career. 


 In her interview with Diane Sawyer, Rihanna acknowledged that she had personally received many messages from people who blamed her for what transpired that night. So how can this be that the one who is beaten is at fault? According to adolescent experts interviewed by the New York Times, girls “are quick to blame Rihanna in order to distance themselves from her.” Thus, acknowledging Brown’s attack would make them feel vulnerable (ie. How could they have a crush on someone who could do that?).


I like to look at it more simplistically! As with anything else, children and teens are a representation of what is seen in our homes and community. Somewhere and somehow, children have become desensitized to the issue of domestic violence. Although deeply disturbing, it should not be surprising given the rate at which these crimes occur. Reports indicate that nearly 1 in 4 women in the United States experience violence by a current or former spouse, or boyfriend at some point in her life. Reportedly, women aged 20 to 24 are at the greatest risk of experiencing nonfatal intimate partner violence. Young women age 20 to 24 also experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault, followed by those 16 to 19. Moreover, it is reported that each year, over 3 million children witness domestic abuse, and research has shown that many of these children will find themselves in a cycle of abuse in their adult lives as well.


February is recognized as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month. As we have observed in the teen reactions in the aftermath of Rihanna’s and Chris, much ground needs to be covered. As stated on the website for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), “the repercussions of teen dating violence are impossible to ignore - the issue affects not just youth but their families, schools and communities as well. Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM) brings national focus to the issue of teen dating violence, highlights the need to educate our youth about healthy relationships, raises awareness among those who care for them and provides communities with a critical opportunity to work together to prevent this devastating cycle of abuse.“


It is critical that community leaders, parents, teens, and school officials work together to help change the statistics. There are many ways to become involved to help spread awareness about teen violence. Below is a list that of campaigns that NCADV highlights on their website. However, also remember that the best place to start making an impact is in your very own home. Talk to your teen. Look for the signs. Take action!



·                   Have a Heart Campaign
·                   A Thin Line
·                   HOPE
·                   My Strength
·                   The Red Flag
·                   Boss of Me
·                   That's Not Cool
·                   It Stops With Us
·                   Choose Respect
·                   MADE
·                   Know More Say More
·                   Start Strong
·                   No Means Know



Sincerely,


Gaétane Borders, MA, ABD
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