A False Sense of Safety

By Susan Murphy Milano

There nothing more liberating in violent and controlling relationships for a victim to have a plan in place, and once ready, knowing freedom is just around the corner. With each step taken over a period of months and sometimes years, a victim begins to gain more strength and courage to succeed in leaving.

Often, friends and family are important to the success of a victim leaving the violence. This is where a victim must take extra measures to ensure their safety. Going alone to met any individual who has been controlling and used violence during the relationship in the past can be a death sentence.

As an example, one year ago today, police cadet Kelly Rothwell, 35 had a false sense of security in the belief that her then boyfriend David Perry would allow her to amicably end their 3 year relationship. David Perry, as the majority of dangerous offenders, wasn't going to allow Kelly to leave on her terms, only his. She simply wanted out. After months of stalking, threatening and physical violence by Perry, she'd found the courage to say enough! Training at the academy to become a police officer gave Kelly the confidence to confront David Perry and, if need be, defend herself. Just one month short of graduation, Kelly had secured a new place to live and she had the support from her close knit circle of friends.

During a late lunch at a near-by restaurant with her friend, Donna, she went over her plan one last time. After lunch she hugged her friend and went alone to the condo she shared with David Perry to inform him she was moving out.

As so many women do in cases of intimate partner violence leading to a missing person's or homicide case, Kelly had a false sense of her safety, and David Perry, similar to having the scent of a trained dog, already knew what Kelly was planning. He was ready for her. But she was not prepared for him.

Kelly Rothwell fell into the same trap by her abuser as other missing women and mothers across the country everyday. Jacque Waller went alone to meet her estranged husband to pick up her son on June 1, 2011, she too, thought because it was someone she knew, Clay Waller, she'd be safe. Amanda Jones, ready to give birth any day informed her family she was meeting Bryan Westfall on August 14, 2005 ,in a public parking lot to discuss child support and visitation issues, again, Amanda had a false sense of safety. In each case, the offenders immediately hired attorneys to represent them, and subsequently each family enlisted the services of missing persons agency The CUE Center a national organization searching and recovering loved ones since 1994.

To date, none of these men, Waller, Perry or Westfall have been formally charged with murder, instead they are labeled by law enforcement as prime suspect, person of interest, and other terminology that amounts to nothing other than a weak-kneed label, a C.Y.A. term, instead of saying they each are cold stone targets of the investigation.

A tragic example in getting away with murder is Shon Pernice. A few weeks ago, just six days before Shon Pernice would stand trial for the murder of his still missing wife Renee Pernice who vanished into thin air on January 1, 2009, was offered a plea deal. He too, immediately lawyered up, claiming he had no idea where his wife, who was in the midst of filing for divorce, had gone. Like a bad magic act, Pernice's memory returns and he suddenly says "Renee fell. It was an accident. He disposed of her body in the trash." By pleading voluntary manslaughter Pernice will be sentenced to somewhere between a 5 year minimum to 15 years maximum. So our justice system, the only one we have, rewards a murderer for crime to be released into a community near you, with time off for good behavior sometime in the not too distant future. Now there's a comforting thought!

If your sister, co-worker, friend, daughter or mother is going to end the relationship, they need to document the abuse on an affidavit and video prior to leaving or have the dog of the offender smell the change in the relationship. Once the dog gets a whiff or scent their prey is leaving, you may never seen that person, again.

Go to Document The Abuse site and know what to do to be prepared. A false sense of security is what every victim experiences when they taste freedom. We can't ask Kelly Rothwell, Renee Pernice, Jacque Waller, Amanda Jones or the thousands of others who lost the battle in the war of intimate partner violence and homicide, but, we can stop others from meeting the same fate!

This year’s 8th annual conference, “In Support of the Journey” is slated for March 22-25 in Wilmington, NC and registration is available on the CUE Center website: CLICK HERE for complete details on classes, speakers and registration.


Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

One Mother's Journey in Giving and Finding Hope

By: Christy Davis

Mother’s Day... special to me growing up as I learned about unconditional love from my Mom; then when I became a mother taking on the job of shaping new lives. I knew enough to be scared, yet excited at the same time. The best job I’ve ever had has been the job of Mom, one I loved even on the days of tearing out hair wondering “what was I thinking”, believing that I could do this right. Two great kids with personalities on opposite ends of the spectrum, and years between them, but good buddies nonetheless. Mothers day when children are young bring things like breakfast in bed, handmade gifts from school everything from a handprint with poem to clay figurines with initials carved backwards, things that are my most treasured belongings...now it brings memories of a Child Lost, along with the joy of my daughter.

Austin came to us almost five years after his sister Anita. a very social child, never fearful of making new friends, or talking with adults. We were always told what a charming young man he was and that he’d do well, even as we stressed over grades, homework and responsible behavior. As he grew, he continued to make us proud of the man he was becoming, making the mistakes that we all make, but finding himself and a direction for his life. Austin learned to cook as a young man and was good at it, working at a well known seafood restaurant chain as he studied to be a computer technician. He loved fixing us a favorite dish, or conferring on the best seasonings to use while grilling, or suggesting different ways to cook something; that part of him always surprised me a little, but in the best possible way. Austin’s quiet sweetness is something I miss more than I can ever express, especially the times he’d come to me and say Mom can we talk….and he’d share parts of himself with me.

Austin was 26 years old at the time of his disappearance in June 2007 when he took a taxi ride that ended at Jax Jewelry and Pawn Shop at the intersection of 103rd Street and Blanding Blvd in Jacksonville, FL around 12:30pm. Police have confirmed that Austin bought a shotgun there, and according to the clerk, put the gun in a duffle bag (a few inches of the barrel sticking out) and left the shop on foot which he wouldn’t normally have done as he had chronic pain in both knees and walking distances was difficult. Leads have been followed, many large scale searches conducted, but none have panned out. There has been no access of personal accounts or cell phone use since that day. We also later learned that he never cashed his last paycheck from work. Austin left all personal belongings behind including a laptop and backpack that he never left home without. www.FindAustinDavis.com

My heart was broken that my son was out there somewhere, that he needed help and law enforcement was limited in what they could do, and I didn’t know where to turn. We began to search on the internet for help, listing Austin’s case on every website we could find, trying to get information out to as many people as possible. We set up a website, email account, and phone numbers for leads to be sent or called in, we started putting out information using networking sites, and followed leads that took us all over the state searching. One of the most challenging things is keeping the media interested in the case, willing to keep Austin’s face and story in the news, especially because he is a male adult and the common perception from the general public and law enforcement is that if you just give them a little time they’ll show up.

Time and time again we’ve called on the people of Jacksonville and trained search and rescue teams from all over the state of Florida and beyond, and are blessed by their willingness to come to the aid of strangers. Now our desire is to pass that on through the creation of Finder’s Hope. In Austin's absence we choose to Celebrate his Life by bringing focus to the needs of many, that just like us continue the search, regardless of the months or years that it may take.

Finder’s Hope, a non-profit organization, is dedicated to bringing Hope to those with a Missing loved one through Direct Support and Services, Advocacy, and Education and Awareness.

In our pursuit of how best to help ourselves and others we attend conferences, training seminars, are in training with a canine in the detection of human remains with First Response Search and Rescue Team (FRST) based in Tallahassee, FL, SAR Tech III certified through the National Association of Search and Rescue, and testing for the next level SAR Tech II just after Mother’s Day. We are also called upon when needed by CUE Center for Missing persons out of North Carolina, the organization that set us on the right path from the very beginning of our personal search, and has continued to Mentor me in understanding all aspects of Missing Persons Cases.

I know now that one of my roles in life is to help or find help for those that others may not; male or female, child or adult, pretty or not, young or old, walking the streets or an honor roll student, speak for those that can’t, for all the Lost Stories, pray, because in God’s eyes we are all truly equal. We are here to help. Anyone with a missing loved one is invited to contact Finder’s Hope for assistance.

www.FindersHope.org

My hope is always that we find Austin. Whether we find him alive, or find his remains, I want to bring him home. I pray that someone, somewhere, has information that could lead us to him and is brave enough to come forward and say, I know where he is…or I saw him that day, and this is what happened.

One person can make the difference to our family, and can be the difference between never knowing what happened, and being able to bring a loved one home.

Our story submitted with loving memories, and hope.

Christy Davis

Austin’s Mom