What’s Love Got to Do with It?

I grew up with the highs and lows of the 60’s and 70’s. One thing I am truly grateful for during that era is the amazing music and the artists of its times. Aretha “Rockin’, Rollin’” Franklin, Mick Jagger, The Temptations, and the amazing and talented Tina Turner. Only to name a few. But for this piece, I’d like to look more closely at one of Ms. Turner’s biggest hits, among many. “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”

As Ms. Turner’s life unfolded before us with the release of the biographical film by the same name in 1993, it became apparent why and how Turner could write the below lyrics:

In her chorus Tina sings:

“What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second-hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken”

In her verses she recites:

"You must understand how the touch of your hand, makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl, opposites attract

It's physical, only logical
You must try to ignore that it means more than that

It may seem to you that I’m acting confused, when you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed I've read it someplace, I've got cause to be
There's a name for it; there's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason you do it for me

I've been taking on a new direction, but I have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection, it scares me to feel this way”

Clearly in her lyrics, Ms. Turner is speaking about a physical attraction. And love, real love, is clearly denounced or, at least, not worth being sought. She speaks of opposites attracting and we clearly know today, via Quantum Physics, like attracts like.

This emotion she’s read about has led to broken-heartedness. And, if you know her story a few broken bones, as well. This may have been your experience. So, from this, let’s explore love from a different perspective, for just a few minutes, please.

Let’s look at love from a personal, purely selfish view point. That is looking at love within ourselves first, not narcissistically but from self-preservation. We will see that love, agape, is all beautiful, perfect, and divine. So now we must look at what is this agape?

Agape is an ancient Greek-Christian term referring to love. It is the highest form of love and charity. Agape is the love of God for man and of man for God. The word should not be confused with philia, brotherly love, as it embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance.

As a family-violence specialist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with many women in domestic/family violence situations. This is what brought Susan Murphy Milano, Delilah and I together. And, what have I found common in every situation? The absence of universal, unconditional love for oneself. I have uncovered guilt, shame, and even self-loathing.

I have had countless agencies; hence individuals, tell me a woman must cycle in and out of a shelter at least seven times or until she, her children, and/or extended family experience some drastic situation or behavior from the abuser. This is usually the threat of death to herself, children or family members.

I still stand on this truth. If one: male or female; heterosexual or homosexual; transgender; and of any ethnicity will accept they are made in the image and likeness of Almighty God; and can begin to experience the unconditional love of God for themselves, the violent and abusive cycle will cease. It must.

With this unconditional love and acceptance of self, several things begin to happen almost instantly.

1. One’s self esteem and self-worth is magnified; 
2. The offender is no longer able to bully the victim because they, the victim, realize they are only a victim to their own limiting beliefs and mindset. The victim’s self-power is instantly increased. 
3. The energy level of the victim shifts, and they then only attract those in their like energy. Opposites do not attract. We attract exactly what we are. Thereby, individuals with low self-esteem will not be drawn to those with higher vibrational levels believing in a higher love. Resonating in love for themselves, first! 

(Abusers are attracted to those with low self-esteem so they might appear bigger and more powerful to their victims. AKA: bully boogers.)

• When one takes on the consciousness of Christ and realizes there is no greater love, anything that attempts to approach not of the same consciousness, feels uncomfortable. They, or the situation, is rejected right away or soon following. 

And, how do we experience this love? Through:

• prayer; 
• meditation. (That is being silent and allowing God’s love to flow into you and through you. Bring both hands to your heart, as a suggestion of embracing, and feel the Source of love); 
• keeping company with loved-filled individuals; (Learning to say no thank you, without explanation, to anyone who brings otherwise—in your own mind’s eye.); 
• listening to uplifting and positive music; (Reject music that refers to you as anything less than your Divine self); 
• abstaining from main-stream media; 
• reading inspirational, faith and love-filled works to include Scripture and literature to raise your consciousness. 
• repeating loved-filled affirmations or declarations. A good place to start is “I AM that I AM.” Interpreted as “I AM all that God is.” 
• Find yourself a good adviser, support group, or assistant. 

These are only a few things you can begin to do to raise yourself from the doldrums of victimhood. You may not find yourself walking into freedom or understanding any of the above overnight. But remain diligent; tenacious; and focused, desiring the life that Source; God; Mother Nature; (whatever name making you comfortable) has planned for you from the beginning of time. Their plan is to prosper you and to bring you hope. You will one day, very soon, begin to live your best life, as Ms. Winfrey would put it

What’s love got to do with it! Everything! All the time! And Everywhere! And it’s starting right here! Right now! With you!


Pamela Chapman is a certified life-wellness/life transition coach and family-violence specialist through the State of California. She is the owner of Yucatan Wellness Corporation and the previous owner of Iascend Programs, Inc which was dedicated, specifically, to helping abused women.

Today, Chapman works with others motivating, inspiring and teaching all who are willing to do the easy life work so they may walk into their well-being while transitioning through one of life’s challenges.

Pamela and team incorporate mind, body, and soul betterment using both ancient and cutting-edge healing techniques helping you to create your perfect self. To find out more visit: https://www.yucatanwellness.com.

Vulnerability In Change Part II-Let's Get Naked!

by Pamela Chapman

Vulnerability In Change: Part I — Just Like Junior High Again

In my last piece, I shared the true story of my recent transition to the Yucatan. I was completely transparent and honest. I know the power of transparency. I have experienced its transforming power firsthand. My initial experience was working for the Orange County Rescue Mission in Southern Cal as a case manager. I had been warned that I should never, ever share my personal story with clients. But, I had no other story. I told it and the chains and bondages fell away.

My second experience was through the mentorship of my business coach Maria Simone accompanied by her techie, genius husband Michael (aka Doc) Murdock. Several years ago, during an online coaching session with several on the call, I shared my anxieties, my feelings of helplessness (aka self-pity), and paralysis. The session took a different course becoming a spiritual healing session for not just me but for all.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way—the only way for me to assist others in their healing is to bear my soul; being naked before my audience; allowing them to realize I too have set backs, misfortunes, challenges as well as major successes and victories.

I believe there is not one of us still breathing on this living earth who has achieved expert level. When you get to the place where you believe you are, the next phase comes accompanied by growing pains, to launch you to the next plateau. When you ascend to where you are un-teachable or the master, you are allowed to cross over into the next realm. There are days I spend more time practicing what I teach than actually teaching. I am one who believes we all teach what we need to know. There are days when I ask, seek, knock and then ask some more.

What Went Wrong

What happens in your life course, in your stretching if you’re aware, is you become more and more enlightened. So what does that mean? It means you no longer need a building to fall on your head when the expanding life lesson appears. It means you respond to light: the light taps, the light study, the light path. You become in tune with light. When there is a lesson to learn, you grasp it openly and willingly. It means you no longer blame your present or your journey on someone or something. You take responsibility. Transparency is the path of the enlightened journey.

When I was attracting cheaters and twisted souls in my Yucatan transition I asked, “What is going on with me? Why am I attracting this? What’s up with all these adolescent, junior-high, teenage fears revisiting? More importantly I asked, “What did I subconsciously or consciously ask the Universe?” (I’ll provide these answers in upcoming episodes.)

I know the tools. I teach the tools. I have learned tools from others and refined them. I have the hidden knowledge or what some call the secret. I know who I am and I understand my calling. But, I am also wise enough to understand pride comes before the fall. So, I never attempt to pretend I’ve got it ALL together. Oh no! I don’t need any lessons in humility. Well so at least I believed. You’ll hear more about the Yucatan humility lesson soon enough.

“What I want you to understand, especially my beautiful sisters out there, it proves nothing and nothing is gained by pretending you have no problems, weaknesses or challenges. The mask conceals ones true identity and alienates those you could possibly assist.” It intimidates. It allows others to believe they will never, ever be able to accomplish what you are: perfection.  (I’m reminded here of a Scripture that speaks of one’s righteousness or self-righteousness being as a filthy rags. And ladies, this Scripture ain’t talking about a dust rag.) 

When you remove the mask and share your story or your mystery (my story) with others, when you are transparent, filled with light, you permit others to not only see your challenges but your victories and overcoming as well. It gives them hope in accomplishing the same. You allow them to join you on the enlightenment or the road to glory.

My Solution

Each morning, in spite of feeling vulnerable, I would take time to ground. I would do the work to reduce, calm, and eradicate the mind chatter. With all of the challenges my new and unfamiliar environment had brought me, each day I was determined to find balance, joy and peace. Each day, my goal was to become a little more familiar with my new surroundings.

Whether it was exploring the new coast with my lab pals; or learning how to say, “Stop here please” in Spanish so I could ride the bus; or shopping and having lunch with my gorgeous expat sisters in the magical city of Merida, there was always the choice: drown in my sorrows and helplessness or make the best out of the seemingly mess.  I could be the victim or be victorious.

A Reality Reminder

The vulnerability I have recently experienced reminded me of the women I talk to. It reminded me of the teenage girl leaving elementary school trying to fit and find her way in junior high. It reminded me of the woman going through a harrowing divorce or the woman who has lost her soul mate to death having to deal with urgent family affairs, adjust to being single, and no longer being accepted amongst her married friends.

It reminded me of the woman losing her job having worked for the same employer for fifteen or twenty years, having climbed the corporate ladder, now being snubbed by what were once her professional peers. It reminded me of the woman who’d been abused and battered finding a shelter not only being distanced from the foe she still somehow loves; but, being isolated from family and friends, as well.

Nothing stays the same but change. We can fight it, judge it, or roll with it. When major transition comes upon us bringing unfamiliar turf, Vulnerability with a capital V rears its ugly head. It will have you asking yourself, “Am I okay?” It will make you paranoid. It will render you fearful.  It can cause paralysis. It will make you crazy in your head, emotions, crippling your mind, body and soul.

There is never any shame for your feelings, even those of vulnerability. The shame is wearing it beneath a mask while it festers, rots and stinks. The shame is getting comfortable in it and making excuses for it. The shame is remaining in its grip being its lifeless slave and limp casualty.

—To be continued

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

Vulnerability In Change: Part I — Just Like Junior High Again

by Pamela Chapman

I’ve recently experienced a major life-transition. I never knew the physical change I’ve dreamed about for so long would take me down Vulnerable Boulevard which almost lead to “Hysteria Lane.” Now I think it funny. After so many years of doing the work, and after teaching the power of God, Creator and All Energy, I was feeling like a thirteen-year old leaving elementary school headed into junior high school: stupid, afraid, and vulnerable.

That’s right! All the fears, all the vulnerability, all the school-girl craziness flooded back. Humbling, terrifying, mystifying; everything I’d ever feared, wondered, questioned all rolled up and delivered in a neat little package; all within seven weeks. Here I was the transitional-life coach right smack-dab in the middle of the weirdest transition ever.

You see, in October my partner and I moved to the Yucatan Peninsula. It was the beginning of our transition into retirement. From the very first time we set eyes on this mystical land, we knew this was the place. No questions asked. For several years we visited, each time staying longer. Now it was time to plunge in for the six-month test making sure the place we had pegged, the beach, was the right place indeed.

We knew before setting out, we’d have to return to the States within a month to handle holiday business. We planned to drive down and then drive back to the U.S. In turn, after the holidays, six weeks, we’d make the six-day drive through Mexico to the Yucatan again. After the first trip, we realized not only was it not economical neither was it the sensible thing to do. We couldn’t put our hairy, four-legged family members through that experience again so soon. Nor could we do it to ourselves. So, in our infinite wisdom, we decided my partner would return to the States via Frontier Airlines while I stayed behind.

Where we have chosen to stay in the country of Mexico is very safe. We don’t worry about the Cartel or gang and drug violence or anything else for that matter. The Gulf Sea is at our feet. Everyday is Sunday. This thing called time takes on a new dimension and meaning here. What could possibly go wrong? My three protectors, my three crazy labs, and I would carry on.

Reflecting back, I don’t know what we were thinking. I would be without a vehicle. The truck we’d driven down would be here, but it is a one-ton, monster truck with six shifts. While I’ve been driving since nineteen, the share size and power of the vehicle intimidates me.

I don’t know why we hadn’t thought about a rental. Oh yes, I do! The insurance required would have cost me just as much as the car rental itself. And, I would need to get to the next town in order to rent the vehicle. My handle on the language was nil at that time. It’s not much better now, but, I now have the confidence to blurt something out even if it’s a far cry from what I’m trying to say. Like, “Can I pickup my laundry on green?” So now, I couldn’t drive and I wouldn’t go anywhere without an escort because I couldn’t communicate with the bus drivers where I needed to go and I couldn’t phone for a cab.

To add to the dilemma, some of our first contacts on the beautiful beach were somewhat bizarre and convoluted. At first, they appeared to be good and straightforward but in reality they were difficult and some were what I would define as downright evil. These folk had the personal agenda of making loads of money quickly and easily off the non-suspecting, naive newcomers. There were many good people, of course; great people in fact. But, for some reason they weren’t our initial contacts. 

With my partner headed back for the States, I was the new kid on the block trying to sort out the good guys from the bad—the northern banditos with contracts versus the honest realtors. Who really wanted to befriend me for the sake of being friends? Who was telling the truth? Who could I trust? There were days when it was impossible to tell. Yep, just like seventh grade.

So now I have: no transportation, limited communication, and the need to sort out the genuine from the frauds, fakes and fanatics.

Let me add one more piece to the puzzle. The infrastructure in this part of Mexico is not keeping up with the numbers who are migrating. So, the Internet service is one that can be enhanced. We use the Internet for television, phone service and of course email. When the service is down all communication in our house is cut off from the outside world. There were days I would awaken and have no means of connecting with my partner in the States. I could have used the cell phone but that was an extremely expensive way to do so. I did, often times, send text messages to let him know I was okay.

There were days I would sit in my house surrounded by many neighbors; yet, so isolated.  To top it off, the first week my partner was away one of our sweetest, lovable labs let his natural instinct kick in and attacked the neighbor’s family cat. She died within two days of the incident. Would this family still like us? What would be the gossip in the Beach Post? This family had brought their pet down from the States having been in the family for years. My partner and I cried on the phone, together, that evening.

Was God trying to tell me something? Was I trying to tell me something? What the hell was going on? Things became so convoluted there were days I couldn’t tell reality from the Yucatan Twilight Zone. When I did connect with my partner in the States, the conversations should have been sweet and cherished, “Hi honey, so good to hear from you.” However, the conversations were turning sour. “Why didn’t you call! I’m sitting here all alone, don’t you know I need you, you $%&%?” Thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions. My actions or reactions lead to a result. What was resulting in my life was distrust, cynicism and paranoia and let’s not forget anxiety and stress.

Yes! Just like junior high. All I needed was an outbreak of acne. But wait! I did have an outbreak of acne. Big welts appeared on my checks and along the insides of my nose. There I was in the local Farmacia, in frustration pointing to the big, unsightly, pus-filled welts trying to ask for acne medicine at fifty-six years young.

I’ve often thought, “To only be a teenager and know what I know today, I’d do some things differently.” I’d been presented with the opportunity. Life in the Yucatan was unfolding and time would tell if I’d keep those words.

—To be continued

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

The Profile: The Side That Could Not Be Seen

By Pamela Chapman

According to Webster’s free online dictionary, profile is defined as a. Side view of an object or structure, especially of the human head. b. A representation of an object or structure seen from the side; synonymous with form. With that, please sit back and take this brief journey with me.

Disclosure: though the following may remind you of someone and possibly even yourself, the story is written with no particular or specific individual in mind. It is only a profile.

I’ve been introduced to a lovely sister. She dresses impeccably. Her clothing fits her well showing her voluptuous curves; yet, she exposes nothing. Her shoes and handbags are designer. She is a smart shopper so she may not necessarily pay designer prices. She wears smart, high-end costume jewelry as well as pure gold. Her hair is always immaculately groomed, colored and cut. She frequents a stylist but when necessary she is capable of taking care of her crown of glory herself. Her lips are large and colored softly; the arches above her eyes are perfect without manicuring. Her cheeks profess the slightest blush. Her makeup, overall, is conservative and brings out her God-given natural beauty.

She is successful having finished top in her class: high school, undergrad and graduate school. She has worked her way up the corporate ladder. This invisible thing called the corporate glass ceiling is laughed at; but, there must be one. No matter how hard she works it keeps getting in her way and her male counterparts are promoted over her. It doesn’t slow her roll at all. She keeps marching along with great strength. She does her job well out of pride.

She smiles at everyone. It is a white, bright and dazzling smile that not only lights her face but the entire room. She never has an inappropriate remark or unkind word. She speaks gently and softly but there’s something powerful about this woman’s speech. It’s a power that comes from somewhere deep. You just can’t put your finger on it. Her very presence mentors. When you look into her eyes there’s a fire. But no one knows this woman’s other side.

Because of shared intrigue, I followed her home one evening. She lives in a lovely neighborhood. Trees line the street and tall walls with gates hover around the houses protectively. There are large homes but hers is modest. The surrounding landscape is well kept and well manicured.

She opens her front door, kicking off her shoes immediately throwing her car and house keys on the round, glass kitchen table. The home is cozy and immaculate. Everything in its place: the carpet clean and vacuumed, the windows sparkle, even the window sills show no sign of dust.

She does a 190 degree look around her welcoming living room. Spotting her newly broken-in couch, she rushes toward it and plops down. The leather couch gives off a slight whooshing sound. She could hear her mother’s words, “Sit down like you’re a lady. No one’s going to want to marry your wide &$%.” She thought, “This is my house now I can do what I want.”

Squatting, peering into her window, I continue to watch her sit quietly now appearing to be in very deep thought. And to my amazement tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “What is going on?” I wonder. She’s never appeared to be sad or upset. After a minute or two, she begins to sob and the words, “God I’m so tired,” ring from her voice.

She had carried the weight of the world raising her children alone even though there was the appearance of a husband for most of the years. She had put up with the abusive words from this man always followed by a joke, a kiss or a hug so it never seemed like he was attempting to hurt her. “Honey, gray fits you well. Your behind looks like an elephant’s in those pants.” Her heart sank. She had chosen them just for him.

When he was angry or drunk, it wasn’t unusual to hear fiery vile words of anger targeted her way. “You no-good whore! You’re lucky I married you after you got pregnant.” He’d so quickly forgotten he’d played a role in the pregnancy. “I could have been something great if it weren’t for you.” He’d even slapped her around a few times only returning minutes later with a hug and a, “Baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I love you.” She’d forgive him each and every time.

Because of this, her children had left at early ages. Even though he was now gone, they didn’t come around much. They couldn’t understand why their mother had put up with such abuse. They couldn’t comprehend her devoutness, her relentless love. They thought she was a fool—well educated but still a fool. But she believed they were the ones who were fools. She held the belief if she prayed hard enough, God would save her husband and they would all live happily ever after.

He had come home one evening smelling of expensive booze. It’s amazing it doesn’t matter how expensive the drink, when taken in large doses it makes you act like an imbecile. “I’m leaving you. You’re not worth that diamond on your finger. I’ve found someone else and I’m tired living this lie!” he shouted. She stepped in front of him only to receive a swift, cold, hard slap to her face. As a thin line of blood oozed slowly from the left side of her mouth, she fell to her knees tired and crying, “Please.”

“Wow!” I could hear myself mumble as I continued to watch. “So amazingly together on the outside; yet, so bruised, battered and broken on the inside.” She continued to sob. “God, if I had only prayed harder; if I had only tried harder at our marriage. Lord, if you only answer my plea, it will be all right.” She still held on with great faith believing he would one day come back—a changed man, of course. He would have a change of heart loving her more than ever. After all, her clergy had told her if she just continued to pay her tithe and offering and believe everything would be all right.

She rose from the couch wiping her eyes, while simultaneously thinking “I guess I should get my big behind up from here.” She walked toward her immaculate, modern, white and red kitchen. It was time to think of dinner. No need sitting brooding over the matter. Life goes on. She’ll just keep living with the aching pain day after month, after year. After all, it was life and like everyone else she had to carry her cross. The woman thought of heaven. A slight smile came to her face. She would one day be rewarded for all her pain and life misery. She thought again, “Or will I?”

Having observed enough, I thought I’d ring the doorbell and see if I could bring her comfort. She swiftly answered and to my surprise there she stood: makeup clean, eyes dry, with the biggest, brightest welcoming smile ever. She appeared quite composed—as never being ruffled. “Come on in, dear. Good to see you. I was just about to prepare some dinner. Can you stay?” she beamed.

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

Lighter, Easier and Brighter Begins With You—A Hard Pill to Swallow

Light (Photo credit: Road Fun)

By Pamela Chapman

Below are the words to a song produced and sung in the 1980’s.

Ooh-oo child, things’ll get be brighter
Ooh-oo child, things are gonna be easier
Ooh-oo child, things’ll get be brighter

Some day, yeah
We’ll get it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day, when your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day when the world is much brighter

I’ve lived a life filled with all kinds of stuff most of it pretty crappy stuff. I had seasons in my life when I didn’t believe things could or would ever get easier. I saw life as rough, tough and daunting and then you died.

Then something miraculous happened along my life journey. I met an amazing teacher who reminded me that I was a glorious creation in the earth for this time. That after the first born son, there were many others and I was one of the many. And by amazing grace, I came to the realization God had given me everything I needed for this lifetime. The only way my world was going to get easier, lighter and brighter was I grasp what my world was trying to teach me and take responsibility. I had to come to the apprehension no matter how much I ran, wrestled, or denied the buck always stopped with me.

I came to the realization I couldn’t blame my broken relationships, which usually ended with men going away in my life, on the no-good cheating first love who broke my heart when I was eighteen. Nor could I blame the so-called best friend who wore my mom-made, hand-crocheted, gorgeous outfit on her first date with him.

I couldn’t blame the drunkard husband who, when I asked him his choice me or his bottle of Jack Daniels, chose Jack. I couldn’t blame the second husband who lost his battle to cancer. And, my parents—could I blame them? I did for a while until I learned that parents are only grown-up kids who have been ruined by other misguided grown-up kids.

After going around the Mulberry bush of life a few dozen times, I finally acknowledged I had an abandonment issue, to name just one. I needed to resolve the matter personally and inwardly. Facing the truth wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. And even now when the proverbial you-know-what hits the fan and the mirror-of-life reflects its ugliness, I still get choked on the truth pill.

That’s right! Things still happen in my middle-aged life where I’d love to blame someone else for my rotten circumstance. However, I now realize it all begins with me. I create my reality, my world. No one and no thing is responsible. And that realization, my friend, is even a harder pill to swallow.

It’s like one of those nasty, over-sized, sticky vitamin supplements my nutritionist keeps telling me is good for my health. How can it be? It’s nasty. It’s smelly and it gets stuck in my throat. But remarkably, once I hold my nose and gag a few times, I do eventually get it down leading to my feeling better physically which, in turn, leads to mental and emotional good health. And the more often I take my supplements, the easier it gets.

Sometimes, life comes at you blazing spitting thirty-eights. And, before you can recover the guns get bigger and the ammo becomes forty-fives. I’ve had the whirlwind of life hit me hard and brutally and at times it seemed before I could get up and recover from the last spray, I was shot and rolled again. There were times when I felt I was done for the count. And then, a suddenly! An Amazingly!

I came to know the purpose of life, believe it or not, is not to suffer brutally or be its victim. Its purpose is one of abundance, one filled with joy. Life’s experiences are for our expansion which, inevitably, if you learn quickly and don’t fight it, will lead to your joy.

So, can it get easier? Absolutely! When? When you:

1) look within,

2) make deliberate and well thought choices,

3) take responsibility. Whether the choices are good or bad they are yours,

4) and finally, release and move on.

It will get lighter, like the song says, when your head or your thoughts get lighter. And it can and will become brighter when your mind and beliefs conform to your light within.

Let’s look at a passage of Scripture. It is what I know and use for my base. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Ref.: Jeremiah 29:11. How about this one? “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they [you] may have life, and have it to the full.” Ref.: John 10:10.

These scripture certainly sound positive. The thief, the: robber, burglar, shoplifter, pickpocket, bandit, crook mentioned in the second verse is someone or a force that leaves you feeling vulnerable, violated and victimized. I believe this to be your personally created illusions, shadows and delusions. It is your self-sabotaging, subconscious mind chatter and donkey talk haunting you 24/7.

They are the thoughts telling you life can’t get any better because you’re not worthy of a good, loving, and prosperous life. It is the Niagara Falls of negative memories reminding and reinforcing the belief, “You don’t deserve love, and you don’t deserve a brighter future, a laughter-filled, lighter or easier life.” It is the malignant belief that you have to suffer and life has to be hard.

Here’s another Scripture? “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Ref.: Matthew 11:30. Meaning, my burden or my oppression is easy: simple, trouble-free, effortless, uncomplicated, painless and unproblematic.

Heresy you say. What about the Scripture that states, “And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Ref.: Luke 14:27. Could this possibly mean whoever does not carry or bear their own purpose, cause, calling or responsibility cannot follow after or become Me [the Christ minded]?

Let me use one more Scripture to attempt to convince you and then I’ll let you be on your way. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Ref.: Romans 12:2-3.

Now, isn’t that soothing? It should be but probably isn’t because it’s more comfortable and easier to hold on to archaic belief systems that don’t work. The pattern of this world says you must struggle. Life is hard and it’s not your fault. I’m here to tell you that life will bring you ups and downs; and life will mirror back to you who and what you are. Life brings tests and yes, at times, life doesn’t appear to be fair. However, you do not have to be life’s victim.

You can, with ease, understand what these experiences come to teach and learn from the circumstances. You can, with ease, recognize each and every obstacle; and from such create clear objectives, goals and strategies for success. You can comprehend, with ease, how to play the game of life and WIN.

You co-create your life easily or with great difficulty. Realize the only way this world is going to get brighter is when you realize your “things are gonna be easier” begins with you. And yes my friend, that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim
 

Hope Always Springs Eternal

By Pamela Chapman

           

Have your expectations not come forth? Have you been disappointed in your dreams? Have you heard of or seen family, friends, and associates lose their homes, their jobs and their money?

Often time you have big ideas and dreams of possibilities for your life that, seemingly, never come to fruition. At least, not in the timeframe you’ve expected or believed. Have you possibly thought something was wrong with you or wrong with the God you believe? Have you ever lost faith?

I know during the Christmas season everything is supposed to be merry and bright. But, this is also the season of severe depression, suicide, and abuse. I never, ever write about anything I haven’t experienced. I may not have studied human behavior or psychology on a Doctorate level; but, I can tell you this, dear one, this woman has experienced life on a master’s level. I don’t write from an elevated place never having suffered, never having been wounded, never having been depressed, anxious or fear filled. I write from my reality.

We are living in turbulent times. We are living in times where everything that can be shaken is being shaken: our homes, our careers, nature, and even our scared religious beliefs and systems. What do I mean by being shaken? Everything seems to be going through a resistance, stamina or pressure test. In other words, pressure is being applied to every area of our lives and sometimes even our very being feels as if it’s going to pop. Is there anyone out there who can give an “Amen?”

Earthquakes of 8.9 in Japan and tsunamis to follow; Hurricane Irene 2011; deadly tornados in Alabama, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Georgia, as well as quakes on the East Coast felt in Washington D.C., Virginia and Maryland.

Inflation is headed toward hyper inflation. There are government, and church scandals. Justice is a joke and financial institutions have become fraudulent and corrupt. Too many are still without meaningful, satisfying employment. The ability to live happy, fulfilled lives; forget about abundant lives, seems to be a fantasy or something someone touts to sell a book or seminar. Long-term relationships and friendships are coming to closure. Struggle, compromise and chaos have replaced ease of living, transparency, and accord.

There are lots of theories as to why, how come and what will culminate. I say time will tell. But, if I may share one word of thought with you today that one word would be HOPE. Again, I am not a woman who speaks from other’s experiences. I have experienced pain on magnitude levels—not glorifying my trials by any means. I believe my experiences have made me strong and powerful; but, even more importantly, I can stand in the face of any adversity, I can grab hands with a sister or a brother for that matter and say, “Hold on. You can make it. You will make it. I will help you make it.”

Now, if you read the post before, you’d understand there were times when I, myself, wanted to give up, pull the covers over my head and sleep right on out of this life. I have to also tell you it was the times when I had made huge demands of myself and the Universe, God. What I mean by this is when I had declared, “I AM standing on the promises.”  Once I had made my personal, statements and spoken them aloud for days, and once I demanded change—positive change in my life, for my life, my own personal tornado seemed to take me up and throw me up against a tree several miles away.  I just believe in keeping it real. But I wouldn’t give up. I kept believing and kept hoping. I kept seeing the possibilities.

Way deep down in the solace of my sprit when there were no words to speak, and my own sanity seemed questionable, and the conscious mind said, “give up,” there was always hope. Hope that somehow, somewhere God All Mighty would send me someone from somewhere to speak into my Spirit and help me remember. Hope I would rise up from my own personal bed of affliction and not just hobble but run. Hope the day would bring the promises of “Yea” and “Amen.” Hope that I would find the answers within to accomplish what He has declared about me and for me before the foundation of this earth was laid. Hope that mankind would somehow see what abundance, prosperity, and wealth lies around him making it needless to fight, compete, envy, and harm one another.

Hope has no limited time. Hope comes in all shapes and forms, colors and sizes. It shows up in a message on television, the radio or a billboard. Hope transmits in a phone call from a friend you haven’t spoken to in months. Hope believes, “In spite of what I see and hear, I AM routed and grounded. I AM focused. I AM capable and the evidence shall appear.”

Hope says, “I AM not forgotten.” Hope shouts, “Justice for all and justice will win.” Hope says, “Truth shall reign,” and Hope declares, “I don’t know how, and I don’t know when but I know!”

We live in a time when you need to know what is true for your own personal life. No one can lead you down their reality or their path and make it work for you. Your DNA is your DNA. What life has for you is what life has for you. Your reality and your truth is yours.

In spite of all the shaking, in the midst of all the negativity, in the realm of the impossible—keep hope at your center. It stems from your soul, shoots through the atmosphere and reaches into the galaxies only to radiate back into you. It is unlimited. It is perpetual. When you lose all hope, you become nothing more than a vapor, without purpose, passion, or ability. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12.

If you are drowning in a sea of hopelessness, remember this every day you open your eyes it’s a new day or opportunity, grace and mercy. Every day is a new beginning. In fact, I believe every moment is a new beginning. You don’t have to wait for 2012 or for someone to declare a special time in your life. You declare this day, this moment, this right now opportunity as your new beginning. Now!

Right here is an outreached hand waiting to grasp yours—ready to assist in pulling you into your incredible, marvelous, and glorious life. Here is a heart ready to beat with your heart if you are ready to welcome its truthful beat. Here is a word to encourage, motivate, inspire and help you find the magnificent God within if you are ready to embrace your marvelous change.

Love you.

Pamela

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

At-one-ment with Self and Knowing

The Prophet: On Self-Knowledge by ~ceeveem

By Pamela Chapman  

        

In the last several weeks, I have gone through another major change that consisted of a physical, mental and spiritual shift. And for those of you who are not aware, shifts occur during your entire lifetime. They occur as quickly or rapidly as you are ready and willing to experience these momentous occasions.

Before the onset of this last, I found myself feeling as if I were dying. I felt as if nothing was going right, nothing was working, everything was awry and I actually questioned the very existence of God. I had made an exceptionally strong demand on the Universe and it was only natural for there to be a false appearance of all hell breaking out when actually everything was going just right. But interesting enough, even though I knew this truth, because I was smack dab in the middle of what seemed to be a muddle at the time, I was quite oblivious of this truth.

After feeling like the earth was caving in upon me for several weeks and literally wanting to die in order to be free from the suffocating (I must sincerely admit I’d been around this Mulberry tree during other shifts in my life) a very special friend phoned. Some of you may know her, Susan Murphy Milano. We had an in-depth conversation her reminding me of the truths by which we both live and serve. I am grateful she helped me recover my life.

A few days later, with a renewed outlook and desire to press on, I came upon an Internet page with the following statement, “I can see that my old model of reality is broken. I now ask to be shown what I’ve been missing. Let me begin to see reality as it truly is. Let my beliefs accurately reflect the true nature of reality.” I honestly wish to give credit to the author, but if anyone were to make me an offer of one-million dollars to tell them who wrote this, I honestly couldn’t. So, I give credit to whom credit is due.

Discovering this statement supports the fact that the Universe, whom I call God, will answer and give you what you need, when you need it if you just ask. I made a commitment to the above declaration each morning and almost instantly, a road opened and my path straightened.

Now this is the fun part. Here is where I rattle “the religious.”  But first, let me define what I mean by the religious. The religious are those who have made theory, tradition and laws their golden calf and love to tout off Scripture but do not live by the two most important Commandments, “Love the Lord thy God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and your neighbor as yourself. Living by the two allows you to effortlessly fulfill the others.

Now let’s proceed. I’ve been a woman of great faith. I have believed God in dire situations from my son being incarcerated in one of the most racist counties in California in the 90’s for a crime where he actually was the victim to believing my husband would survive when given only three weeks to live being pronounced terminally ill. He lived eleven months instead of the sentence given.

I have also been a woman who has studied the Scripture in depth. I give thanks to Dr. Churck Kruze for introducing me to a loving, kind, and forgiving God, Dr. Clarence McClendon for helping me understand that I had the power to enhance my life, and Dr. Willliam D. Hinn for helping me remember I was the first born of many sons of God in the earth.

However, I came to the realization, after pressing pass the emotion of God and into the knowledge of God, that in order for God to be everywhere, at every time, and all knowing each man had to abide in Him and Him in every person. God always uses man. We are his incarnate vessels. The very breath of God is the several hundred breaths each of us take each and every day by grace. How could there be any separation?

With my new understanding that everything is made out of matter or atoms including man (Adam) which is energy, how could I not be God? God is pure energy and pure energy is light.  All you need to do is look at our sun, moon, stars and galaxies to prove this. If a doctor or biologist takes a sample of a man’s blood and holds it under a microscope, what does he see? If his cells are healthy, they glow with light and energy.

So, quickly, in a moment of a twinkling of an eye, I went from praying to the God in Heaven to praying to the God within—God in the earth. Suddenly, the Scripture of John 17: 20-23 (Scripture noted in footnote) became life. Swiftly, I apprehended, transitioned, evolved from head knowledge (thinking) to heart knowledge (knowing) that God in his seventh day, after we together created earth and everything necessary for our co-existence, we rested. I live now in the seventh day. It is up to me, in the body, to go forth in the knowledge, the power, and the rest. And, while everything is created, named and finished whether in the present or in the future, I must take authority co-creating with Him.

There has been the next elevation of enlightenment, encompassed by great humility allowing me confidence, peace, and an outlook that amazingly requires very little effort on my behalf. It’s the knowing that I must ask, believe and then go forth in peace. It’s the knowing I don’t have to make something happen and while I need to be committed to quieting myself and my soul to hear the voice within that guides me 24/7, I am at-one-ment with the Universe. I know, with a steadfast confidence that everything is working for my good and the good of all those I come in contact.

I know I am worthy of good, peace, love and abundance; and, subconsciously and consciously I will create my Garden of Eden. I know that ninety-percent of my decisions are made on a subconscious level; so, being worry free, filled with love and knowing I am one with the Universe allows every good thing to come to fruition.

The secret is reconnecting to the God within. The God without—somewhere far, far away is finished. Christ, the son of man, the first born of many sons, as well as the second and the thirty-third millionth is seated in dominion, glory and power if they believe they are worthy of such. There is no fancy prayer, forty-day fast, sacrifice or act you need to perform to earn what is rightfully yours (right hand of God). What must come is the passing of your own tests of worthiness to enter through the veil of darkness—the veil of the mind separating you from God consciousness.

You cry heresy. I cry freedom. Christ was labeled a heretic teaching the Kingdom of God is with men. I have heard people say God descended and walked with men; therefore, Heaven was with men at that time. However, I believe God became incarnate, personified in the flesh, to teach us, to show us and guide us into at-one-ment with Him which is the Kingdom of God or Heaven.

Many of us know at-one-ment or atonement to mean the penance or the reparation Christ paid for men’s sins. Then, if the price for the forgiveness of our sins has been paid, it is high time we learn to forgive ourselves, love ourselves and be happy with each day in this life we are blessed to experience. You cannot do this feeling or believing you are a lowly sinner, unworthy of love and unworthy of the gift freely given. You and the Father: spirit, energy, light and love are one—entwined, with nothing being able to ever separate you from His love—nothing but the lack of love for yourself and others.

Every ache, every pain in my body is gone. All the mental torment of “how “ is vanished. All the work of trying to make “it” happen is nowhere to be found. It is no longer a head belief but a heart reality. Be still and know. Know that you are at-one-ment with God—at- one-ment with yourself and life as it is meant to be will unfold in wonder-ment revealing life more abundant right before your very eyes.

Will there be another shift? Absolutely! I invite and welcome the next. In the meantime, I take one breath at a time, live each day as the last in the now, being still in my mind, my soul and emotion, co-creating and knowing.

New King James—John 17:20-23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

God is Good; Thereby, I AM

By Pamela Chapman

If you have been following any of my writings or read anything on any of my blog sites, you have come to realize that I am not one who glorifies victimization. I believe that each and every one of us has the power to: get wealth, prosper, thrive, and live an abundant life. You know that I believe if you believe you are a victim, than you will be just that. I believe thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions and our actions give us a result each and every time.

 Thoughts --------> Feelings --------> Actions = Results

Here’s a simple scenario for you ladies:

Thought:       Hmmm he’s late from work, again. It’s the fourth time this month. He’s probably cheating that no good, lying ...

Feeling:        Anger, depression, low self-esteem, restlessness, fear, suspicion/distrust

Action:         Yelling, screaming, checking mates pockets or cell phone, lack of communication; fear-based decisions,

Result:          Destroyed relationship, possible divorce, hurt children if any, broken hearts/family.

Now ladies, or should I say victims, how many times has this happened? How many times have you jumped to a conclusion before you gave anyone an opportunity to explain their actions? Now, let me make this perfectly clear. I am not talking about a situation where you are being abused either emotionally, physically, mentally, or sexually. In those situations I always only have one reply and that is, “Get, the Hell Out!” I am, however, talking about situations where we choose to always be the victim whether it is in our relationships, careers, or life in general.

Do you know anyone who always seems to have drama, always in some type of battle? They might be battling with a spouse, child or employer. They sometimes contrive these battles of the mind where they’re fighting some invisible force or entity. Why is it that bad things seem to happen to some good people all the time? If God is good, and I believe He is, where is the manifestation of goodness?

I believe in and practice the, “I AM” theory.  Here’s how it works. When Moses said to God, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?”  And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” As you can see, I am also a believer in Holy Scripture.

Let me take this one step further. God said, I am who I am. Now, this next statement will make some of you angry. But, at this point in the game of life for me, I really don’t give a rip. I hope making you angry will shed some light on your pitiful victimization. So, stating this simply, If God is in me, and I believe he’s in each and every one of us since everything is God; and, I am in Him—I cannot be separated from my source, than the “I AM WHO I AM” applies to me also.

     When I say, I AM broke-voila', I become unable to create or find money.
     When I say, I AM powerless-amazingly, I become weak and victimized.
     When I say, I AM sick and tired, magically, I become ill and fatigued.


What if I began to believe, I AM Good? If God is good and all that is in Him and through Him is good, then am I not good? Is all that surrounds me through Him, by Him not good?

Let’s use our Thoughts --------> Feelings --------> Actions = Results model. Here we go:

Thought:       God is good; thereby, I AM Good!

Feeling:        Increased esteem, confident, peaceful, motivated, blessed, resilient, filled with faith

Action:         Move forward with confidence: write a vision plan or business plan, change careers, exit toxic relationships

Result:          A purpose-filled abundant life

It’s very easy to throw around clichés. In fact, we often use them without really ever thinking about or having any real understanding of what we’re saying leading to nothing more than rhetoric.  If God is good, let’s reap what His goodness has in store for us. I’d even go one step further- let's each and every person become His Divine Goodness seeing goodness in others, letting it magically unfold allowing us to leave our victimization(s) behind to embrace and live a life more abundant.

Seven Students Arrested in SAT Scandal: An Unfavorable Score for Us All

By Pamela Chapman

I don’t know how many times in recent months I have talked to dear friends and associates about current events in our nation only to receive the same answer every time, “I don’t watch the news anymore. It’s too depressing.”

This is absolutely true. It is incredibly depressing. Here’s just a few of the headlines as I write this piece: Secret Government Banks Financing More Solyndras, Massive Search Underway for Endangered Girl, Disaster Recovery Projects in Limbo Despite Senate Budget Deal, Death Toll Rises to 13 in Listeria Outbreak, the Deadliest in a Decade.

By the time this piece is completed, edited and posted the above will not be news. It will not be current events but a stream of senseless mishaps of the past. Unfortunately, for many more, they will be events not ever known.

I used to be one of those people who believed if I watched the news, I would be flooded with negativity and not able to function for the day. I believed that the news of the day was bad energy, bad karma, and no good thing would come to me. Not knowing how to protect and cleanse myself from the negative energy, I believed I was doomed if I listened to what the media was reporting.

Today, I have come to learn how to protect myself. And, I now believe it has been a concentrated ploy to bombard us with huge doses of negativity so that we first become desensitized and then we simply turn off and choose to ignore the calamities of our neighbors, the senseless wars taking our children’s lives, and the severe level of depravity our nation and our world has reached.

I now believe that it was a plan to detach us, isolate us, leave us ignorant and ill informed so that the powers that be can easily invade and infect our simple little lives and we would be clueless but oh so happy and so enlightened. And while I could write my rant today about any of the tragedies and calamities we have chosen to ignore in the headlines the last few days, I write today about our youth. It is the story of the declining values of our youth that tug at my heart.

Only a few short weeks ago a group called The Barna Group (serving the information needs of the church by offering statistics, resources, seminars and custom research on current cultural and spiritual trends) reported “…nearly 50% of young adults surveyed said ethics and morals are based on ‘what is right for the person.’ The new study shows a significant divide between the nation's young adults and its older residents.” Well, I’m not too sure about the significant divide but what I do know is we, adults, have chosen to give up and check out.

On September 28, 2011 headlines read, Seven Student’s Arrested in SAT Scandal. The article went on to read,  “Sam Eshaghoff, 19, of Great Neck was arraigned on charges of scheming to defraud, criminal impersonation and falsifying business records, according to the Nassau County District Attorney's Office…. The six students whom Eshaghoff stood in for, names not disclosed because of their ages, were arrested on misdemeanor charges.”

With all the crap going on in our nation why did this one tug on my heart? Why am I not upset about our economy? Truly, I am but what upsets me more is we have turned off to what is happening to our societal youth and turned on to Facebook, Twatter, as called by one of my evening drama-series characters, and other mind-numbing, time-consuming social media, online games and distractions while life as we know it is quickly eroding.

Am I disappointed with what I believe to be the decline of morals and ethics? Yes! But that is where each and every man will have to give account for his own soul. What I am more perturbed about is the fact we have failed our youth. We have failed to show them right from wrong. We have failed to be the models of good behavior. We have failed allowing Dr. Spock to tell us to reason with our toddlers. We have failed allowing government to take control away from us, the parent, who works as a slave to give their child everything they need and more.

We have failed in teaching our children to respect authority while the government, the police and the justice system, now teach. We have failed to chastise for fear of an on-looker, who has never had the royal opportunity of being a parent, turning us in to Social Services.

So on Wednesday, September 28, 2011 police officers of Great Neck, New York walked into college arresting Mr. Eshaghoff to teach him right from wrong. Eshaghoff had sat in for six high-school students receiving thousands of dollars. The six high-school students were arrested and charged with misdemeanors.  You can read the FOX News report here (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/09/27/7-new-york-students-caught-in-alleged-sat-cheating-ring/).  When a news reporter asked a fellow college student about the incident his remark with a huge grin on his face, “It’s a great business.”

What have we become? I’ll give you a few suggestions.  We have become a nation whose values are compromised, weakened and then compromised some more. We have become a society where right has become politically incorrect and wrong is the acceptable trend. We have become a society where intrinsic values are shunned at the expense of our children—a nation where our children are the sacrifice upon the altars—the abomination of abominations.

While there is still time, let us once again, truly engage our children’s lives—loving teaching, and nurturing. Let us not be afraid to teach them right from wrong or discipline them with love in love. Let us not be afraid to read, research and comb the pages for truth so we are an informed people knowing exactly who and what agencies want to slowly strip away the intrinsic values of this nation.

Individuals, who give their power over to any person or group, any trend, at anytime who follow the herds of comfortable and complacent zombies eventually wind up with what they deserve—victimization and a lost society that ultimately perishes.

When I was a little girl, my wise dad, a WW II Veteran, used to say, “Daughter, America won’t be taken by an outside enemy, she’ll collapse from within.” I would laugh, of course. America had its problems, but it was strong; it was still the land of the free and home of the brave. However, four decades later, if we fail to provide integrity-filled modeling for our children showing what is right, wrong, good and evil; if we continue to model money as our all powerful God, I’m afraid my dad’s words will become prophetic. And that my friend, is an unfavorable score for us all.

Pamela Chapman is Founder of iAscend Programs, an author and certified life coach who has worked extensively with victim services organizations and advocated for many years.  She now spends her time writing and traveling, living each day as a new adventure!  Her latest blog is You Are Not A Victim

You Are Not the Victim

                                                       

By Pamela Chapman

Why Victimization Is So Not Cool

• It decreases your self-esteem and self-worth
• It gives your personal power to someone else
• It always sees life from a negative perspective – the glass half empty
• It always self-negates and self-sabotages
• It causes depression and fosters oppression
• It sees discrimination and evil in every person
• It keeps you looking back
• It promotes weakness and dependency
• It negates your inner abundance
• It feeds on pain & darkness
• It thrives and feeds on fear
• No one wants to be around someone who is always the victim

Why Leaving Victimization is Way Cool

• It increases your self-esteem and self-worth
• It empowers you
• It lets you see life from a positive perspective – the glass half full
• It self promotes and brings about self-sufficiency and self-realization
• It produces a fulfilling, joy-filled life
• It acknowledges the good in every person
• It keeps you looking forward and working toward your goals
• It promotes happiness and good vibration
• It helps you realize your inner abundance and realize your purpose
• It reflects Energy & Light
• It thrives and feeds on faith
• Everyone wants to be with this person; in fact, they attract fabulous people

Which life would you rather live? Many of us have had bad things happen to us. All of us go through difficult life-transition at some time in our lives. Far too many have had horrendous experiences and trials. And, it is always our choice, a decision on how we go forward. Will we use the experience to help and lift others and eradicate the wrongs of systems? Will we choose to advocate for truth and justice? Or, will we just play the victim role feelings sorry for ourselves, looking for attention and sympathy; forever angry with ourselves and the world?

That abusive relationship, that injustice, that heinous crime done to you did not come as a surprise to your Creator. He knew it was going to happen. He is all knowing. He also knew He had made you strong enough to go through it. My mom has always said, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”  Well, there were times when I felt like I was going to die—I wanted to just to get out of the situation.

Just know when the crushing feels like you just can’t take it any more…when it feels like if one more “bad” thing happens it’s going to take you out, just when you plead, “God please take this cup from me,” that’s exactly when the Glory of God will come in taking you over and bringing you forward into your purpose and the calling He had for you before the foundation of this world.

Crazy, it may seem; but true. And, even in your going forward you  may fall and become the victim again, either by circumstance or because your past experiences have you believe it, is so Get Up; Brush Yourself Off; and get right back in the game of life again.

You are Not the Victim

Revelation 3:21

Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.

For a no-nonsense look at victimization and how you can break free from the bonds, visit Pamela Chapman's site:  You Are Not A Victim