What’s Love Got to Do with It?

I grew up with the highs and lows of the 60’s and 70’s. One thing I am truly grateful for during that era is the amazing music and the artists of its times. Aretha “Rockin’, Rollin’” Franklin, Mick Jagger, The Temptations, and the amazing and talented Tina Turner. Only to name a few. But for this piece, I’d like to look more closely at one of Ms. Turner’s biggest hits, among many. “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”

As Ms. Turner’s life unfolded before us with the release of the biographical film by the same name in 1993, it became apparent why and how Turner could write the below lyrics:

In her chorus Tina sings:

“What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second-hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken”

In her verses she recites:

"You must understand how the touch of your hand, makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl, opposites attract

It's physical, only logical
You must try to ignore that it means more than that

It may seem to you that I’m acting confused, when you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed I've read it someplace, I've got cause to be
There's a name for it; there's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason you do it for me

I've been taking on a new direction, but I have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection, it scares me to feel this way”

Clearly in her lyrics, Ms. Turner is speaking about a physical attraction. And love, real love, is clearly denounced or, at least, not worth being sought. She speaks of opposites attracting and we clearly know today, via Quantum Physics, like attracts like.

This emotion she’s read about has led to broken-heartedness. And, if you know her story a few broken bones, as well. This may have been your experience. So, from this, let’s explore love from a different perspective, for just a few minutes, please.

Let’s look at love from a personal, purely selfish view point. That is looking at love within ourselves first, not narcissistically but from self-preservation. We will see that love, agape, is all beautiful, perfect, and divine. So now we must look at what is this agape?

Agape is an ancient Greek-Christian term referring to love. It is the highest form of love and charity. Agape is the love of God for man and of man for God. The word should not be confused with philia, brotherly love, as it embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance.

As a family-violence specialist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with many women in domestic/family violence situations. This is what brought Susan Murphy Milano, Delilah and I together. And, what have I found common in every situation? The absence of universal, unconditional love for oneself. I have uncovered guilt, shame, and even self-loathing.

I have had countless agencies; hence individuals, tell me a woman must cycle in and out of a shelter at least seven times or until she, her children, and/or extended family experience some drastic situation or behavior from the abuser. This is usually the threat of death to herself, children or family members.

I still stand on this truth. If one: male or female; heterosexual or homosexual; transgender; and of any ethnicity will accept they are made in the image and likeness of Almighty God; and can begin to experience the unconditional love of God for themselves, the violent and abusive cycle will cease. It must.

With this unconditional love and acceptance of self, several things begin to happen almost instantly.

1. One’s self esteem and self-worth is magnified; 
2. The offender is no longer able to bully the victim because they, the victim, realize they are only a victim to their own limiting beliefs and mindset. The victim’s self-power is instantly increased. 
3. The energy level of the victim shifts, and they then only attract those in their like energy. Opposites do not attract. We attract exactly what we are. Thereby, individuals with low self-esteem will not be drawn to those with higher vibrational levels believing in a higher love. Resonating in love for themselves, first! 

(Abusers are attracted to those with low self-esteem so they might appear bigger and more powerful to their victims. AKA: bully boogers.)

• When one takes on the consciousness of Christ and realizes there is no greater love, anything that attempts to approach not of the same consciousness, feels uncomfortable. They, or the situation, is rejected right away or soon following. 

And, how do we experience this love? Through:

• prayer; 
• meditation. (That is being silent and allowing God’s love to flow into you and through you. Bring both hands to your heart, as a suggestion of embracing, and feel the Source of love); 
• keeping company with loved-filled individuals; (Learning to say no thank you, without explanation, to anyone who brings otherwise—in your own mind’s eye.); 
• listening to uplifting and positive music; (Reject music that refers to you as anything less than your Divine self); 
• abstaining from main-stream media; 
• reading inspirational, faith and love-filled works to include Scripture and literature to raise your consciousness. 
• repeating loved-filled affirmations or declarations. A good place to start is “I AM that I AM.” Interpreted as “I AM all that God is.” 
• Find yourself a good adviser, support group, or assistant. 

These are only a few things you can begin to do to raise yourself from the doldrums of victimhood. You may not find yourself walking into freedom or understanding any of the above overnight. But remain diligent; tenacious; and focused, desiring the life that Source; God; Mother Nature; (whatever name making you comfortable) has planned for you from the beginning of time. Their plan is to prosper you and to bring you hope. You will one day, very soon, begin to live your best life, as Ms. Winfrey would put it

What’s love got to do with it! Everything! All the time! And Everywhere! And it’s starting right here! Right now! With you!


Pamela Chapman is a certified life-wellness/life transition coach and family-violence specialist through the State of California. She is the owner of Yucatan Wellness Corporation and the previous owner of Iascend Programs, Inc which was dedicated, specifically, to helping abused women.

Today, Chapman works with others motivating, inspiring and teaching all who are willing to do the easy life work so they may walk into their well-being while transitioning through one of life’s challenges.

Pamela and team incorporate mind, body, and soul betterment using both ancient and cutting-edge healing techniques helping you to create your perfect self. To find out more visit: https://www.yucatanwellness.com.

Increase Abundant Living Using Affirmations

By Pamela Chapman

“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never harm you.” LIE—A GREAT LIE. Words kill and words give life. Come along with me and tell me which of the words below are empowering, increase your self-esteem, and make you feel like the Divine being you were created to be: intelligent, kind, stupid, resilient, healthy, confident, wealthy, idiot, resourceful, creative, good-for-nothing, fool, expressive.

The words that increase your self-esteem are obvious, yes? But, how many of us have experienced the words of death—the words that keep us from excelling, have produced low self-esteem, fear and doubt?

We are now beginning to understand the power of the spoken word. Words are like a magic wand. They can be filled with beauty, joy, peace, and life or they can be filled with hatred, disdain, pain and destruction. They will motivate, encourage, and assist us in reaching our potential and our dreams—give birth. Or, they will de-motivate, discourage, stifle and hinder our dreams—produce death.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, reflect back over your childhood. You can probably think of several damaging and hurtful statements directed at you by a parent, sibling or even a teacher. Statements like:

• You’re nothing and you’re never going to be nothing,
• You’re no good just like your (fill in the blank),
• Shut up and be quiet,
• You’re too ugly, too fat, or too stupid.

There are far too many of us who are all too familiar with the above, painful statements.

Many of us have not realized that our words were a form of dynamite and should be handled carefully with wisdom and understanding. We have hurled words of anger, resentment or self-pity into the atmosphere and then wondered why life was so difficult.

In Scripture it is said, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Now, there are three compartments of the mind: the subconscious, conscious and super-conscious. The subconscious mind is not immediately available to the consciousness. It is raw energy without control. It is the Niagara Falls of our mind. Fear, worry, anxiety, inferiority, low self-esteem, or positive emotions and thoughts are ceaseless, never sleeping, always at work.

It has been determined that more than 90% of our decisions are made from a subconscious level. The subconscious mind is created from our experiences, people’s and our own words. Old subconscious thought patterns, created out of experience of action or words, must be radicalized, if negative. How do we know that our subconscious mind is filled with negativity? Look around. You create exactly what you think known as the Law of Attraction. Affirmations assist in impressing and imprinting upon the subconscious.

The conscious mind perceives, apprehends, or notices with a degree of controlled thought and observation. From consciousness is where we observe and experience life for what it is whether it be sickness, disease, death, good health, wealth, and perfect self expression. It is your world, the creation of thought and word.

Most individuals have heard of and are quite comfortable with the two compartments mentioned. However, there is one other. It is the elevated mind, the mind of supreme intelligence which is within each man. It is the realm of perfect ideas, the perfect pattern, and the Divine Design: It is called the super-conscious or the God-conscious.

The super-conscious usually comes into your mind as an ideal that is too big to obtain, the “too good to be true” idea. Supreme Intelligence lives within each and every one of us and we are the channels for its expression. These are often finished and prefect ideas that must come through you and not to you; those defining moments that are often experienced the first thing in the morning when waking from your sleep state. In order to experience the super-conscious or God-conscious: perfect self-expression; healthy self-esteem; health; wealth; and abundance, continually, you must learn to impress the sub-conscious overcoming any and all obstacles that have been set. Affirmations are an excellent means to an end.

Here are a few powerful affirmations to get you out of the starting gate:

• I put the past behind me. I release it and live for today, in today. I live in the now. 
• I AM healthy, wealthy, and wise. I am on the road to happy success. 
• I AM wide awake to my good. I will not be troubled and fearful. 
• I reject every negative word I have spoken of myself, every negative word spoken toward me, and every negative thought I have of myself. 
• I AM fearfully and awesomely made; whole, and without blemish. 
• I have riches, life, joy, and peace in abundance. No one can take them from me. 
• I let go of worn-out conditions and worn out things. Divine order is established in my mind, body, and my affairs. 
• I AM the mirror of perfection, goodness, faith, hope and love. 

Here is an important note. Affirmations cannot be practiced once or twice and affect the subconscious. They must be practiced daily, ideally, two to three times a day. It is proven that if this practice is repeated sixty or ninety times, not only will you have a good habit but, the subconscious will be transformed and then the conscious mind will begin to experience and see all of its new beliefs opening the door to the amazing God-conscious with ease.

I strongly suggest that you create your own powerful, life-changing affirmations to find and build your life of abundance. Use the above statements as a jumping board. Speak the statements out loud with power and conviction, turning your affirmations into declarations, and see amazing miracles manifest into your Divine life even more quickly, easily, and powerfully.

Pamela Chapman is the Founder of iAscend Programs.

To learn more about Pamela, her work and her books, please visit her website:  http://pamelachapman.biz