Soulful Medicine

by Jillian Maas Backman

As an intuitive life coach I find it very rewarding to write encouraging words which inspire hope and change to all that read my blog posts. This one was suppose to cover the intrinsic benefits from the practice of meditation. However, life has a funny way of changing directions without your permission. There are times when roles reverse themselves with a blink of an eye and the life coach becomes a student in the course of life on purpose.

I was asked to join the team of Time’s Up authors because of my diverse background in both life coaching and intuitive sensing. It lends itself to an interesting perspective of both intellectual thought and soulful insights that are unique to all of us. I have also been quietly involved behind the scenes in dozens of unsolved missing person cases over the years, and have been quite happy to convey intuitive messages to those much more capable than I to implement progress to every case. It has afforded me the opportunity to create a deliberate separation from those directly involved. More importantly, keeps me grounded in my own intuitive space for clarity without outside distractions.

Since involving myself in the Time’s Up movement I have seen post after post of heartbreaking accounts of missing person cases, and unsolved mysteries occurring throughout America every day. It has become so prevalent in all communities there is no escaping the indisputable fact that each one of us will probably be personally touched by this human epidemic at some point in our life.

You would think working so closely in this field I would be prepared for whatever comes my way. Growing up in the church, I was faced with the undeniable truth of human tribulations on a regular basis. However, no matter how many times you experience first-hand suffrage through the eyes of another you never get used to sensing the toll it takes on a human soul to endure the loss through tragic circumstances.

I recently crossed paths with a man in a nearby community that was directly involved in an unsolved missing person’s case. In fact, it was the father of the missing child. As he began to recite his story I found myself lost in his sorrow as a mother and an intuitive. I immediately began searching inside myself, attempting to gather up some insightful intuitive wisdom to fill the silence between us, possibly easing his aching heart for just a moment. There was nothing appropriate that could convey his loss was my loss. His human confusion was now a part of my human confusion. Two strangers struggling awkwardly towards the same outcome, a higher understanding of what he and his family were going through.

As a natural born healer we are trained to jump directly into “saving mode.” I was drawn to provide some kind of clarity to this man’s desperate disillusion and supply him with appropriate intuitive answers to his unsolvable reality of human experiences. I could not bring his child back home or make his family feel better emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. I had nothing but love to share with him. Love of the energy kind. The soulful medicine that can heal the deepest human wounds anyone can withstand.

I will probably never see this gentle lost father ever again, but the loss of his child will be forever in my heart. He brought forth a lesson I shall never forget. There may be times in the future when I become too comfortable in my separate isolation from the world at large. Hopefully I will never become complacent with the intuitive work at hand and remember each family is unique in processing their own grief. As healers, we should let their specialness be our guide to uncovering unseen clues from the universe.

As we parted ways, both turned to a tried and true method of human coping that supersedes all man-made grief. He asked me if I would pray for his child. I did what this distressed father asked me to do. I prayed. I prayed for his family as a mother and an intuitive interpreter for peace in the distant future for all those involved.

In ever-growing gratitude,

Jillian Maas Backman

Cliff Divers and Rabbit Hoppers

By Jillian Maas Backman

I want to dedicate this entry to my good internal emotional friend,   Fear.  One of the most mis-understood emotions and yet, has the greatest potential to be our working warrior beside all of us in a time of need.  

  

So much is written about this illusive emotional condition.  Just the word alone conjures up a negative reaction and sends people into a tailspin.  Why?  Along the way, we have received implied mixed messages, finger pointing towards FEAR as the “evil one” from our emotional piggy bank from which to draw from.  Origins deriving from such statements, as “We must conquer our fears!”  “That fear is going to kill you!”  “FEAR is the root to all evil!”  This kind of verbiage sets up a battlefield inside your conscious mind.  Think about it this way, whenever someone goes into battle there will always be a winner and loser.  When we apply this same kind of tactical representation towards fear, it is no longer an ally.  It becomes an adversary to suppress.  Nothing good comes from this kind of thinking in your head.  We end up segregating pieces of ourselves and assign judgment.  A power struggle ensues between good and evil.   

We have humiliated ourselves into thinking it is cowardly if we admit experiencing some form of fear.  Somehow, we are less emotionally healthy if we have bouts of fearful momental breakdowns.  What a set up that is, in so many sad sad ways.  Fear is a human emotional conditions we should honor and respect on different levels.  It is not meant to be a comfortable state of being, by any means what so ever.  

NEVERTHELESS, it can be an immutable force behind your intentions! 

Every human emotion was given to us for a higher purpose of some kind.  I believe we are trying to think our way through changing the human archetype we were heavenly blessed with from inception.  Impossible and a waste of human time.  My ability to feel fear is necessary for my survival in certain situations.  It is how you act upon those internal markings is a gift not a punishment.

Let us take the fear out of “being in fear.”

First, there is lots of wiggle room between using fear as a catalyst for expansion and creating a fear addiction.  As always, I am addressing a healthy dose of “fearness” herein.  This is not intended for those of you that feel you may have crossed into the danger zone of a “fear addiction.”  As with all addictive behavior, intervention prevention by trained professional is always advised. 

Please do not abandon your sense of fearing.

Fear, as with all other human emotions, will be present forever.  It is our natural sense indicator of change in the rawest form possible, an involuntary boundary sensor.  The minute you find yourself outside your comfort zone, that fear brain sensor will be busy transmitting all forms of warning signs.  Why in the world would you want to intellectually spend time fighting against this loving emotional companion is beyond me.  For goodness sake, walk with it. 

Years ago, I too was immobilized with my own fears.  My perceived options were either ignore the presence of it and force my way through or accept defeat and surrender.  Both seem ludicrate at the time.  Neither option was going to get me to my desired destination of transformation.  I trusted myself enough to know that fear was not my enemy.  I  was being guided to delve deeper for illumination on the gift of heavenly fear.  The answer was not about the elimination of it, more on how to manage my way through the consistency of fear.  How do you deal with the innate presence of emotional fear?

Which one are you;   Cliff Diver or a Rabbit Hopper:

Before I share the details, let me preface this by stating:  No one category is better than the other.  Each one has inherited advantages and disadvantages.  I use these labels as a fun way of stepping out from the wake of fear, observing how you personally deal with conflict resolutions, and possible modifications.

Cliff Diver:  Peaks of Fearlessness followed by Peaks of Fear

Now cliff divers are the ones that do exactly what the label sounds like.  Not literally, of course.  When they decide to make changes, they usually go big.  Not in the sense of crazy big, more like something out of the ordinary.  The opposite, they sit back, internally analyze, wait for the right moment to jump, and then jump long!  All the while, vacillating between moments of fear-ness and fearless-ness.  This reminds me of that old cartoon, Wily E Coyote and the Road Runner.  The coyote would chase the roadrunner off the end of a cliff.  His first reaction on his face described it all.  “Oh crap, what did I just do?”  Eyes wide as silver dollars, realizing his forthcoming quandary, flapped   his arms as fast as he could in the attempt to soften the blow with his eventual landing.  He always seemed   to survive another day of relentless chasing the Roadrunner.    

Advantage:  

-Fear instantly subsides.  There is immediate spontaneous resolve to the inaction of fear. 

-Go with the flow kind of people, flexible

-More times than not, this decision defines completion.

-  Meaning, you have completed a cycle in your life that has been festering for a long time and your inability for movement has stalled.  Your last bit of built up fears pushed you forward to a decisive action and possibly propel you to new territory of exploration.

- Feel your way through fears.  No intrinsic internal need to identify and label each fear individually. 

-Able to handle both conscious and unconscious pretara of “perceived fears” simultaneously.

-Insights always come from a multitude life lessons.   

Disadvantages:

-Be aware of compulsive fearless moments.  It is an incredible motivator but may also create lingering repercussions.

-Be conscious that you are a cliff diver.  The natural order of human fear will settle in again, but the configuration will definitely be different from before.  You will eventually decide to jump off the cliff of fearlessness once again and the cycle will repeat.  What measure have you set in place to reconfigure a new way of handling fears when it comes around again?  A good solution would be to adapt the ways of a “rabbit hopper…”  Therefore, when you decide to “jump” again the aftermath may have a softer landing.

Rabbit Hoppers:  Equal amount of fear and fearlessness

Bless them, for many do not understand their unseemly unassuming ways.  We are promoters of cliff divers in this country.  “Go Big or Go Home.”  Come on really?  Not every big way is the best way.  There are times when slow and steady is the best method to resolutions of all kinds.  I again reference a childhood story, “The Tortoise and the Hare.”  Even though the hare is portrayed in this parable as the one who lost in the end maybe both were correct. 

Advantages:

-Break down fears into workable “chucks of insights.”

-Deal with fear as it comes along.  They live by the rule, literally, one-step at a time.  In this case, one hop at a time. 

- Extremely methodical in handling all aspects of fear- based experiences.  Goals firmly placed in front of them.  Set in their immediate intentions.

-Can only deal with single fear issues one at a time.  Multi-tasking lessons are not an option. 

-Keep internal fear/fearlessness in balance.

Disadvantages: 

  -Assume fearlessness as being out of control.

-Tendency to avoid situations of complete fearlessness and spontaneous decision.

-Inflexible.  Rarely deviate from the pre-set course of action.

- There will be times of urgency to make a fast decision.  Fear is an incredible activator for quick movements.  Many times rabbit hoppers avoid this kind of situations at all cost.  That itself can create potential  danger.  You must adapt and take the “cliff diver” approach and jump in.

In order for rabbit hoppers to continue to move forward, they must always keep a balanced perspective on both fear and fearlessness.  That is a tall order, for the demure rabbit.  Fear has a tendency to silently take over the rabbit hoppers momentum.

I presented this fun fear quiz to demonstrate how each one of us handle and manage the stress of fear.  Both represent the beautiful ways in which we assimilate our fears, transpose them into lessons, and share our well -traveled  wisdom with others.   

In gracious love, Jillian Maas Backman

Jillian Maas Backman is an Intuitive Life, Author (Beyond the Pews, spring 2011), and Award winning Radio Host.  She can be heard on her weekly Sunday morning program entitled:  “It’s For You” on-air 9-10am(CST)  Lake 961 fm,   Lake Geneva, WI, North Shore Chicago, Ill or by listening on-line world wide  at  www.lake961.com   

We are all out here on the Olive Branch of Trust together!

By Jillian Maas Backman

It feels like we are all suffering from one big national panic attack, a well -documented medical episode triggered by an onset of sudden fearful situations. We have hit a rough patch of “growing pains,” debilitating circumstances all around us: oil spills, wars, out of control domestic violence and natural disasters. This intense temporary attack affects every body system from head to toe; blurred vision, dizziness, the inability to breathe deeply and most importantly, brain function impairment. There is no quick- fix prescription from policy or politician that can stop this transition train from taking us to places unknown. So, I reference a common quote, “God only gives us what we can handle.” Does this saying apply for countries as well?

My answer to this auspicious question will always be YES. Even I have been feeling out of sorts the last couple of weeks with the constant bombardment of such spirit- testing state of affairs. We all have endured, for several years now, relentless assaults on our comfortable lifestyles. There is one consensual question many have asked: Are we going to be all right?

My honest answer is again, YES. I have this understated core sense of serenity right now. Unexplainable, but true! For some reason, I have great faith in my faith and more importantly, my fellow man/woman. Our greatest national strength resides with the diverse, complex convictions we hold sacred. This is what’s going to pull us through unstable transitional time.


My minister father told me years ago, “The mere fact that we are still arguing our points of view means we are still committed to an eventual conclusion. When we stop fighting for our beliefs and simply give up, then we should worry.” How true is this? Apply this to your own relationships. If you ever ask someone why he/she chose to step out of any significant bond with someone, their usual response is: I simply did not care anymore. I believe “It’s apathy that makes the world flat line in failure.” Instead of looking at the negative, as a nation of causational bickering among fractured entities, we should transpose our outlook and congratulate ourselves for understanding our quarrels are paying off. We do care enough about ourselves and others to keep striving for the goal of serene living. If I were capable of sharing one gift with the world right now, it would be to share a crumb of calmness I feel within my soul with each one of you, to soothe nerves and feel your way to the “YES” to the question yourselves. But of course, that is simply impossible, so the next best thing here is to help you discover your own peace within to stabilize frantic reactions.

A professional colleague and I were having a rousing discussion on the propaganda in the world of what we need to do to cure our epidemic slump: antidotal quips, re-tooled old school physiological ideologies with the latest buzz word weekend retreats on how to love better, eat healthier and live longer…. Great, all very pertinent information for anyone; unfortunately, attendees may leave more confused when they walk out the door.

Believe me; I appreciate the massive transcendental explosion as much as the next girl. However, I would label myself as a Practical Intuitive Life Coach. I cannot re-package simplicity in a shineier package to catch your attention. What we need right now are simple, old-school, true tested coping skills. I understand this is not flashy or super sophisticated stuff, just down to earth common sense reality check for all of us.

A common symptom of all fear- induced panic episodes is the feeling of having a “Heart Attack,” heart palpitations of magnificent proportions is exactly what we all are experiencing together at this point in time; an attack directly on the weakest and most vulnerable center of every human being on this planet- our, love foundation. The one elusive emotion we all crave, cherish and most importantly, DESERVE. It’s literally breaking down the compassion we have for others. Please do not buy into this kind of destructive stinking thinking pattern. There is nothing more sacred than this bond between all of us.

Every family has disagreements, as do countries, including ours. I am not asking any of you to change your beliefs in what you stand for in the world. But, I am asking for you to:

Trust: your fellow man/woman to follow through. The off-shore gulf oil spill is a perfect example. We are all feeling a tremendous amount of helplessness in many ways. We are all out here on the olive branch of trust together. Frustrations are heightened because we are a nation of “fixers.” We can fix anything if we put our minds to it. Granted, this will be the ultimate key to successfully solving this crisis. But, until then, we must be the watchful eye of others competencies.

All self-help books encourage the focus towards “healing yourself” first. For the most part, I believe many of you have embraced this concept with tremendous abundance. This event in particular is forcing us to our next evolution of complementary living, guiding us into the mind- set of “healing others.”

We have to train ourselves to trust. Easier said than done, I understand. We are fallible in our actions. Right now, it’s all we have. We practice this gracious gift everyday and it never consciously crosses our minds. If you ask anyone out on the streets if they trust our soldiers fighting in other countries for our boundless freedoms, with no hesitation, the answer is: absolutely! The armed forces are in charge of making universal decisions that have direct bearing on all of our lives. They are doing a commendable job over and above what is expected. I share this example to attest to the fact that we all have the capabilities to trust unconditionally. WE are simply out of practice in our own communities. For the majority of us, with the state of affairs we are dealing with, we have no choice BUT to trust others.

Inspiration: Divert your attention elsewhere. If you keep dwelling on something over and over again there is no room for the universe to create its magic. Find something else to occupy your mind, something or someone that represents hope instead of hopelessness. Seek out your inspirations. What gives you the motivation to keep progressing forward? Many people find holding onto a physical object can help calm nerves and re-focus attention onto more healthy choices. Remember, we are physical beings. I do not care how much we are grounded in our spiritual beliefs; we always have a deep connection to our physical world.

Physiologically speaking, our brains literally have a greater rate of success when we are able to use physical objects that help represent what we aspire to in our outside world. This is why so many of you have your bibles with you at all times. It gives you a sense of physical connection to your etheric beliefs. When you find yourself in a spot of turmoil, objects assist our thoughts back onto goodness. As for myself, I carry my prayer beads with me at all times. I find great solace in what they represent for my inspirations to be a better person, and better servant. What objects represent your strength and inspirational center?

The Three P Cocktail: Patience Passion and Practicality

I have been accused of owning too much patience. Who has heard of such a silly thought? To the outside world it would appear that way. I have dedicated my lifestyle patterns to embrace what I label as the “The three P cocktail; Patience, Passion and Practicality.” Americans are known for being the most prodigious “doers” in the world. If you want the job done right, knock on our door first for results. We are relentless problem solvers at our very core. An asset that has served us well for hundreds of years. Lately, our tactical maneuvers are not working. With this aggressive mindset, there is very little room for patience.

Passion and practicality do make good bed fellows. We all have our higher calling for a particular cause, but we cannot let our passion over take practicality. Both qualities are admirable, but timing is the essential ingredient that binds us to a higher education about ourselves. Convergence is in the air, spectacular visions of a new kind of America are being shaped in all facets of our reality. Persuasive enforcements for domestic violence accountabilities are being enacted. Alternative fuel economies are now seriously being debated. Freedom for oppressed people overseas is being successful and above all we are hashing our way through all of this with fortitude! We have the ability to dig down deep and stay committed through completion.

In loving gratitude, Jillian Maas Backman