A Thousand More Sunrises for Robin Smith

We have experienced days where we wish we could go back under the covers and hide from the world until the next new sunrise. Yesterday, I had one of those days. Absolutely nothing went right from my first cup of morning coffee that never made it to my lips because it slipped out of my half awake hand crashing onto the kitchen floor. And I have a rule to never answer my cell phone or attempt to read a 5:00 a.m text without the jump start of a strong, hot cup of coffee.

The day was one crisis after another. In the eyes of almost everyone, I was on their "personal bark list." From prosecutors to law enforcement and all those in between by 9:00 a.m. I wanted to call it a day, go back to bed until the following morning and start fresh with a clean slate. But I could not. It was also radio day at the Zeus studio's and I had my Thursday two hour show to do. I sucked it up the best I could putting a smile on my face and forged ahead. The day did not get better.

Exhausted and feeling a self defeating pity party coming on with me, myself and I, clouding over on the day seemed all but lost. After checking my emails I headed over to face book. A woman by the name of Robin Smith left me this comment " I just wanted to say that this picture of you is beautiful. I hope you are having an awesome week." How thoughtful of her, I said to myself.

Then towards the bottom of her face book page is this:

"As some of you know, I have had 7 cancer surgeries, but God has been right with me. On 5/16/11 my doctor did a physical and found a tiny spot. I refused the biopsy until I have completed the Trail of Hopes for St Jude. I do not have time to be down for any length of time. So please join our event and prayers are always welcome."

This remarkable woman is also the author of

and she is a songwriter, a good one I might add, I encourage you to take a listen: http://www.reverbnation.com/songwriterrobingolliher

Robin also has a non-profit organization called "A Way Out 4 All [http://www.awayout4all.webs.com] an agency dedicated to those in abusive relationships. I suggest we all become prayer warriors for this amazing woman.

My prayer and wish is for our Father in Heaven to allow Robin to watch a thousand more sunrises.

Yours is the day and yours the night, you caused sun and light to exist, you fixed all the boundaries of the earth, you created summer and winter. Psalm 74:16-17

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

On Passing Down What We Have Learned So Far

By Mary Osborne

A number of years ago, when I was writing book one of my Alchemy Series, a friend gave me an unusual gift—a decorative key.  Composed of Venetian glass spun with gold, the key is embellished with crystals and metallic floral filigree.  As my friend presented me with this magical object, he explained that it symbolized my success in having integrated writing into my busy life as a mother and nurse. My friend is an author who had provided me with valuable guidance when I was working on my book project; he knew that I was not just talking about writing, I was doing it.  I had discovered the key to following my bliss. 

Years earlier, this same key was given to my friend by a female writer, who presented it to him in recognition of his ability to do the same—to live as a productive artist and author.  After I gently returned the key to its silk-lined box, my friend told me that I could keep the gift for as long as I wanted.  But eventually, I was supposed to pass it along to someone else who was coming up the ranks and discovering the secret to living an artist’s life.

That was more than five years ago, but the key still sits in my dresser, tucked inside the black box.  Why haven’t I passed along the gift?  Every now and then I would come across the box, take out the key, admire it, and consider possible recipients.  But then I would return the box to the dresser and forget about it again.   I was caught up in my own struggles, always in the midst of a project which needed my urgent attention.  And there was no one I had really guided along the artist’s path for a length of time, as my friend had guided me.  

I confess that I am now, officially, a middle aged woman, and I have achieved some success along with the failures.  There is still much to learn, but I know a few things about writing and publishing.  Like many women my age, I am trying to juggle multiple jobs (as a nurse, author, and landlord) while raising a child.  There is never enough time, which is why I am writing this post at 11:30 pm.  The truth is that I will probably never feel “caught up” with work, at least not for a long time.  There will never be a perfect time, perhaps, to be a mentor.

But if all of us who have succeeded in our careers are too busy to teach the next generation, our life lessons will die with us.  One study showed that 77% of women felt that it was difficult to find a mentor in their workplace.  (Kelley M. Butler, Wooing women:  Today’s working women seek mentors, motherhood transition)  Men, who often have less to juggle than women, have been cultivating the art of mentorship for a long time, and this is a skill women now need to develop.  In order for younger women to move into positions of leadership and to expand their voice and influence in the world, they need the guidance of those who have come before them.  They need favors, they need questions answered.  It is our turn to pass it on.

This summer I’ve had the opportunity to work with teens at various Chicago Public Library locations.  During these events, I discuss my new novel, Nonna’s Book of Mysteries, and encourage participants to dream and explore their life goals. Each teen receives a paper scroll which she decorates with sparkles and feathers, and she writes her goal in the center of the scroll.  While we are working on these projects, one of the teens invariably ask me about the process of becoming a published author.  I’m always happy to offer some encouraging words.  At the end of the program, I often feel as though I’m the one who has received a gift.  Sharing what you know has a way of making the struggle all the more worthwhile.

All of us women over forty have a wealth of knowledge and experience to share.  I know we’re all busy and sometimes still struggling ourselves.  When someone asks us for advice, guidance, or help of some kind, it’s tempting to say we just can’t at the moment.  But if we can manage to take just a little time to pass on our hard-won wisdom, we get an amazing gift in return:  the knowledge that we have contributed to someone’s future.  And this person might continue on to accomplish something we had never foreseen.  In this way, we become part of something bigger than ourselves.

The key of Venetian glass still sits in my dresser.  Out in the world, there are young writers with strong visions and the determination to express themselves and publish books. One of them will receive the key, and I hope her success and influence far exceeds mine.  As the heroine of Nonna’s Book of Mysteries is told by her dear friend, “We all stand on the shoulders of those who came before us.”

Mary Osborne is the award-winning author of Nonna’s Book of Mysteries (Lake Street Press, June 2010) and the forthcoming Alchemy’s Daughter.  A registered nurse, teen advocate, and artist, she lives in Chicago.