by Heidi Hiatt
If you haven’t seen it already, Whiskas cat food has a commercial out that makes women swoon over both man and beast:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VH2zGc0TAc.
As if the kitty in the commercial isn’t cute enough, his “dad” is talking to him in a way that elicits a Harley Davidson purr. Kitties love love! They give and receive love in oodles, and they soak up positive words that remind them how special and unique they are. Don’t think you have enough love in your life? Get a cat.
“Dad,” although an actor, is clearly a cat guy. When I hear a man say, “I don’t like cats,” I ask them if they’ve ever had one. Almost every time, the answer is no. Somehow dogs can be considered more masculine than cats, so men stereotype our feline friends. Unless someone has had a traumatic experience with a rabid mountain lion wielding a chainsaw, I’m wary of men who don’t like cats. It makes me wonder if they are afraid to be in touch with their emotions or show feeling.
Some women find Whiskas guy sexy because he is honest about his feelings, openly shows his affection for his cat, and knows what makes his cat happy. His cat doesn’t love him because he looks like George Clooney; he loves him because there is a mutual admiration and closeness. Joy and peace flow between them. They play together and enjoy each other’s company. This cat knows that his “dad” will provide for him and protect him. He realizes that while dad has to go to work and on golf dates with his buddies sometimes, dad is a constant and won’t abandon him. There are millions of women who need a Whiskas guy!
In today’s celebrity-drenched, self-absorbed modern world, “sexy” is often seen as tight abs, perfect hair, capped teeth, or hairless gorillas who live at the gym. I’m not saying that’s all bad. It’s natural to appreciate good looks and the fact that someone cares enough to take care of themselves. But what’s missing from this equation are the internal qualities that make a person sexy. Whiskas guy appears to have those qualities: kindness – compassion – creativity – honesty – affection – empathy – a commitment to someone other than himself. Now THAT’S sexy!
When I watch extreme makeover shows, I like seeing the before and after results. New clothes and an updated hairstyle can do wonders for one’s self-esteem. I love when I hear about hairdressers who go to shelters to do women’s hair because a little pampering can go a long way. I wonder, though, how quickly the exterior glow wears off when conditions on the person’s inside haven’t changed.
I’ve seen this happen with gastric bypass surgery. Initially, the resulting weight loss makes the person look and feel better. But if the underlying issues that might have contributed to their weight weren’t addressed, people can gain the weight back easily. In general, just because someone looks great doesn’t mean they’re happy or stable.
People can have perfect hair, immaculate teeth, designer clothes, and expensive jewelry, yet still be absolute horrors under the surface. Psychopaths in particular can take great pride in their exterior veneer, luring partners with their carefully groomed physiques and practiced smiles. But they’re like cars with shiny new paint that have ugly, damaged engine blocks down below. The problem is, the shell of the car looks so good that some people don’t bother to pop the hood. They assume that the battery, belts, and bolts are in a similarly dazzling condition.
Some guys try to be sexy by talking “cool” to women or wearing too much cologne. They go to great lengths to have the latest in brand name clothing and accessories. They try to drive a car that appeals to the opposite sex and give out the right “vibes.” They flash their money and hang out in “cool” places. They make sure they have “cool” friends. Is that sexy? That depends on the woman. I’d argue, however, that what’s far sexier is when a man is unafraid to be himself and not trying to act like everyone else.
A unique individual who shows kindness, compassion, and commitment without acting like he’s out to impress his third grade classmates is sexy. Being unafraid to stand out from the crowd by being true to who he is shows confidence. A guy who’s honest about his love for cats, dogs, his Spongebob lounge pants, or GI Joe action figure collection is probably going to be more accepting of his female partner’s uniqueness as well. A sincere love and compassion for animals may mean that he’s willing to give and receive love in copious doses. True sexiness goes far beyond the fauxhawk or bulging biceps. True sexy means he’s sexy on the inside too.
For those of you who are thinking of running out and adopting a furry four-legged child to look sexy, please do it because you are making a lifetime commitment to that pet, not for looks. That’s the whole point of this blurb– true sexiness is sincere and goes far below the surface. Besides, we can already spot you at the dog park. You’re the guy who’s traipsing across the muddy field in a white Adidas track suit ogling female dog moms rather than playing with the dog you borrowed from your neighbor. Sorry, but that’s not likely to be real puppy love. You’re just using the dog to meet women. At least the dog’s getting some play time and exercise.
To bring my faith into the discussion, a guy who’s kind, compassionate, and shows genuine empathy is, to some degree, a reflection of His Creator. I think it’s unlikely that God wears an Ed Hardy Yakuza shirt and True Religion jeans. God looks on the heart, and when you’re striving to be closer to Him and His nature, your insides will reflect Him.
The closer you get to Him, the more you will exude His love and grace from your outside as well. His true self will start to show on your face and it will be evident in your daily actions. Women will notice a man who doesn’t just talk the talk and try to be sexy in a “deep as a wading pool” way, but does nice and generous things even when no one’s looking. Sexy!
So yeah, Whiskas guy is sexy. He is kind to animals. He loves the gorgeous little purr machine who is rolling around on his chest and licking his face. He’s so cool he wants to take his cat on a picnic– and he’s unafraid to say it. He probably also builds forts for his cat out of sheets and couch cushions and makes cat birthday cakes out of canned food with chicken baby food frosting and catnip sprinkles.
Now that’s a real man! Bold, creative, honest, and has time for someone other than himself even if he does work out, golf, and dwell in a cubicle nine hours a day. I know plenty of women who could use a real man like that. So when you think of sexy, remember that she’s going to care more about your heart than your hairdo. Be the Whiskas guy, or be his cat– women will be drawn to you either way.
With their qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity, and courage, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats? -Fernand Mery
Heidi Hiatt, MA recently graduated as a Forensic Psychologist. You can read more of her posts at her personal blog, Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie Straight Talk in a Crooked World