Empowering Your Vagina

Red Canna by Georgia O'Keeffe

By Diana May-Waldman

The title of this series reeks of something from the 1960 or 70s, but there seems to be a shift in what we have learned or have known to be true about our bodies and our vaginas. We seem to be moving backward when it comes to empowering ourselves as women and taking responsibility for our own bodies. And it is starting to scare the hell out of me.

I want to know why women are failing to use birth control? I want to know why women are having children with several different fathers? I want to know why people think the term, “baby mama” and “baby daddy” is appropriate?

Many people are surprised to learn that I am Pro-Life and not Pro choice. But, let me explain why. I am not saying that a woman should NOT have the right to seek an abortion. I am not a black and white thinker and I don’t think all situations are cut and dry. There are exceptions to most everything.

But, in most cases, we are NOT dogs that go around sniffing one another’s butts, then mounting.

I’d like to think we are more civilized than that and we know what we are doing.

We know, most of the time when we are planning on having sex with someone. It is our choice as women to choose who we want to have sex with. So, once we CHOOSE who we are going to engage in sexual intercourse with, our second choice is to CHOOSE our method of birth control. It is and always will be OUR responsibility to protect our own bodies.

If we fail to protect our own bodies, then we have an “OOPS.” An oops means that you failed to protect your body and now you are either pregnant or have a itchy, burning feeling down there. Straight up, no excuses, this means that YOU FAILED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN BODY.

I just thought we were smarter than that. But it happens.

What really irks me is when you, “Oops” again.

Yeah a second oops really gets my blood boiling. You oops again, this time with another man, now giving you two children from two different fathers. Yeah, yeah, it happens and it has become the norm.

But, why?

The 1960s and 70s were decades of advertised free love. It gave women the freedom to go out there and test the waters and not feel ashamed. Gone were the days of Catholic guilt and virgins.

But, why do we always seem to take everything to the extreme?

A friend of mine told me he found out that his 13 year daughter was having consensual sex.

Let’s be honest here—at 13 years old, I didn’t even have a period, I was just getting pubic hair and my breasts were mere buds. I am pretty sure that I was still jumping rope.

I just can’t imagine the responsibility of having sex at 13. And there is that key word. Responsibility. A 13 year old is NOT mature enough to take this kind of responsibility. It’s hard enough to get a 13 year old to do their homework.

At 13, I thought boys were interesting and I had crushes on boys, maybe even a “so-called boyfriend.”

But, my mother taught me better. She didn’t say it was a sin to have sex. She didn’t say only sluts let boys touch them. She flat out told me to have respect for my body and myself. She also said, “Everything comes in time. Don’t grow up to fast,” and she added, “Your first time should be special, because it is something you will always remember.”

Truth is, I am not just going to fuck any guy that comes down the pike. See, this is my vagina and my choice. If I don’t know where your junk has been, then you aren’t putting it into my vagina.

I have said this before and I will say it again, “Would you pick up a piece of unwrapped candy off the floor and put it in your mouth?”

You answer is probably, no.

See, I really do believe that my vagina is a sacred place. Yep, it’s lined in gold. It’s special. I’m special.

Now, if I choose to let you near my vagina, you need to know that there are rules.

1. My vagina hates bullshit and drama.

2. My vagina will NOT let your penis come to the party unwrapped unless I have established a relationship with you and I know your penis is clean and free from disease.

3. My vagina will be confident that I have taken care of birth control BEFORE I invite your penis to the party. Yes, you still have to bring the present wrapped and nine times out of ten, I will provide my OWN wrapping paper, because I don’t know the expiration date on yours.

4. My vagina will NOT under any circumstances let your penis ejaculate carelessly into it.

5. My vagina will not let your penis make an unplanned baby.

Now with that being said, ask yourself what is so hard about following these rules?

I don’t believe that women should have to be virgins. I believe women should know a little something-something and enjoy healthy, consensual sexual relations. But, when did the vagina become a free for all and when did it become so irresponsible? When did the vagina become so unimportant that it became a cum dumpster? Think about that?

I want us to empower our vaginas and respect ourselves. I want to stop seeing young girls with one or more babies. I want us to teach our daughters and youth how to protect themselves.

We live in a world where sex is plastered everywhere. From a young age our children are bombarded with sexual images and subtle messages about sex.

Music videos are filled with sexual images and messages and blatantly encourage girls to “shake it” in a way that makes them attractive to the male gender.

It is long overdue that sexuality and sex education should be continually taught to our children so they can make responsible and educated decisions about sex and fully understand the consequences.

We need to teach our daughters how to empower their vaginas.

Diana May-Waldman- Bureau Editor for Worldwide Hippies in Rochester NY. Diana is the author of A Woman’s Song. Her poetry in this book deals with the struggles facing all women and the many facets of being a woman in the world today. She is a strong women’s and children’s advocate. A true example of the Hippie movement's continuing growth and spirit.