Survival Day!

By Karen Rae Elkins

Gulf Coast fishermen are in survival mode by now. It's the same survival mode that victims of violence use to get through and explosive situation. It's all about survival. April 22nd, forty-one days and nights have passed by since oil seeped from the deep unsettled waters to kill, steal and destroy the riches of fishing. Having been dealt a hard blow to their way of life and their livelihood, my heart goes out to my fishing brothers. I know you are grieving. I am sad with you.  I share your love for the water and know what it is like to have your life torn apart because of someone else's abuse, be it from negligence, lack of protection, or disregard of the laws. Just getting over the initial shock takes time. My oil spill was domestic violence. 

I can't pinpoint the day I let someone abuse me but I remember the day I left. His words were calculated and well rehearsed. My bags and tackle were still in the car. I had driven home from a fishing event in Dallas, Tx. I went to the kitchen to get a bite to eat and he said, "If you are going to continue to fish, we need to make other arrangements." Tears filled my eyes as I thought of a life without fishing. My first thought was, "please don't make me quit." and then it came to me. "just leave". The words I used were much more colorful but not meant for print. I left and I never turned back.

I spent years trying to clean up the mess in silence. Today marks 365 days past my Declaration of Independence from the silent shame of abuse. It's my day. A year ago, I questioned my sanity as I wrote my first blog. I thought telling the world about abuse would be the death of me but it was the birth of a new me. 

It is with confidence that I say to my brothers and sisters, turn your tragedy into triumph. Be the driver of your boat in rough seas and low tides Hold on to the hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Never, ever forget your love for fishing. Never lose the life lessons taught on the water. Remember the days of plenty. Be thankful for each new dawn. Throw an anchor out every once and awhile to rest. Fish steady in all you do until you navigate a way back to calm waters.  

The abuses you are suffering right now are temporary. It may seem like the challenges are never ending. Cast off your fears. You're got to fight for yourself, because in the end, no one can fight your fight. Look to God, not man,  to give you grace, strength, and wisdom. In the middle of the turmoil you will form lifelong bonds that will never be broken. In these demanding times, you will find out who your friends are. Friends are discovered treasures along the way back to the water. They will open their mind, extend their heart, and offer their hand to lift you up when you are laying there on the ground deciding whether or not to get up. 

Because it is my day, and I am Captain of my ship, I'm celebrating my independence, not with fireworks but with a fire for fishing. Today is my gift to me. The forecast calls for afternoon storms, but weathermen lie. The alarm will wake me around 3 am and by 3:30 I'll be on the road to Karen's Lake. I'm meeting Jeff for a scouting expedition. I bought myself a gift for my independence day. It's no surprise that the gift to and from me is fishing related. I'll have the secret tackle tied to my new Greg's Custom Rods topwater/jerkbait rod. Greg made the rod to my specifications. He is without a doubt one of the best rodsmith's in the US  You're gonna love the inscription, Fish Steady. I'm proud to carry the rod. The color scheme is purple, the color symbolizing Domestic Violence, and white, the color of peace. 

At 4 pm eastern time, log on to the Susan Murphy-Milano Show. I'll be her guest! I'm certain this is a God Appointment, because neither one of us planned to talk on my Independence Day. It just happened. 

Cell service on any lake can be a testament to, "Can you hear me now"? The timing is a perfect break. I'll come off the water. Susan and I will talk. God will be there with us, guiding the conversation. Jeff will leave my boat for Lee's boat and Shelia will be joining me in my boat. We're entering a "private, by invitation only" tournament. Jamie and Kevin will be there, so will Joseph and Cecile. Shelia and I are the only female/female team in this band of fishermen. I'm sure the guys didn't expect me to bring a woman to the tournament when they invited me to join. This is our third event together. I had the camera. I should have taken pictures of their faces when Shelia and I paid our entry fee for the first event. The tournament is a 3 fish limit in three hours event. It ends at 9pm. 

Regardless of our finish, the day will end well. I'll load the boat and get it ready for Thursday. I'll be fishing when the sun comes up until the moon hangs high in the sky. It's my day, again. Life is what you make it.... make it good, even when it's not.

Fish Steady my friends, until next time. karen

The Waters of Romance

By Karen Rae Elkins


It's time to expect more. Make no mistake, I live the life I love.

It's not a fish until it's in the boat or on the bank. I've had many fishless days that I remember happily without regrets. My life to date has been about fishing, everything fishing: be it the latest tackle, the lake fishing reports, or the newest technique. My fishing calender is full from now until October. Almost every weekend I'll be on a lake competing. You can find a way to repress abuse but it always finds it's way out. Monsters live in the dark. So what am I running from? In a profession that is 99% male dominated, I run from dating.

It wasn't until I was recently asked to take time off from my busy schedule of fishing to spend time with a guy, that I realized how I set myself up to not date. He said, "Well, when can we have some time to get to know one another?" It was January. I told him I thought I had some time off in mid April. My response was insensitive, stand-offish, and kinda down right mean.

When ESPN canceled the Professional Women's tour. I scrambled to find local events and team partners to fish my home waters. I'm looking forward to revisiting the Alabama lakes I fished over the years. Alabama has the most diverse and beautiful rivers and lake. An angler can find a tournament every weekend. Not only are the waters familiar, they are a source of confidence. I expect more than a zero on the lakes. Just as I expect more from the lakes in Alabama, I expect more when it comes to dating.

Love is like the lakes and rivers I fish. I can't conquer a lake in one visit. It takes many trips to establish an evolution of knowledge. I've come to believe that a successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person, but deeper and deeper every time. Each time on a whole new level, you together, open to reveal a new truth. There is no limit to the beauty of love. 

My dating calendar is empty for the moment but I expect changes this year. I often say fishing never disappoints me. And if I had to complete the phrase it would read fishing never disappoints me but many men do. This excludes my friends and fishing partners. I have casual weak moments with men, but they never leave the dock because I just frankly didn't see the point of letting any one person get in the way of fishing because fishing is safe.

I expect more from a man that wants to date me and often shake men off the line too easily. My motto to date was, I fish, I don't play baseball. One strike and you are out. It has kept me safe and I have no regrets but it's time to step into the dating game. Give men a chance. It's time to believe that only one in three men are abusive, and I am capable of discerning the abusive man.

The uncertainty in romance throws a kink in my fishing line every time. When I'm fishing and feel a kink or the line feels rough, I pull the bad line out past the damage and cut past the damaged spot, re-tie the lure and continue fishing. The last thing I want on the lake is to lose a fish because I didn't check or change the line.

The sport of angling has many lessons to teach. The message of the waters are the same as the ones of love, work out the issues, be patient, and enjoy the moment. Persistence is a virtue that transcends patience. However, the waters of romance are unfamiliar, unexplored, and sometimes unpredictable. When I come to a kink in the line of dating, it never took much to replace the whole spool of line with new line all the way down to the leader. I strip the reel clean.

One of the turning points in my life was when I got my first bait caster. Each trip to fish became a communion with the nature that God created as much as it was about the fish. There seemed to be a certain peace in all was right with the world. The joys of fishing were not confined by the hours on the water. The best fisherman can't catch a fish if the fish isn't there, and so it goes with love. I can't have romance if I sit in my home alone. Funny, I went to the shallows last weekend, knowing where the dangerous stumps were, but when it comes to romance how can I avoid the stumps if I never launch the boat?

When you've had someone step all over you, it isn't easy to open your heart or your mind. I've come to another turning point in my life. I believe the tide is changing and I'm willing to change with the tide. I made that step this past week.

It was the Bassmaster Classic, the top 51 anglers in the world were competing for 3 days. In the end, the top angler walked away $500,000.00 richer. I worked a booth at the Classic. The knowledge I learned about myself was worth more than money. I realized that the fishing friendships had replaced my need for romance. Each day, I saw friends from all over the US, and the local boyz as well. We all had one thing in common a passion for fishing. Somewhere over the years I have put my passion for men in my pocket close to the memories of abuse.

Two hours after the Classic I was sitting at the dinner table with my fishing buddies. We were talking and having a good time discussing the weeks events and the people we'd met.  I picked up my phone to send a text. It was a simple text. Thinking about how much I'd like to see ya. love karen. A minute later, the phone rang. It was him.

It's time to expect more and add a different kind of passion to the life I love. 


Fish Steady my friends. love karen.