I’ll Always Miss Her

by Anne Peterson

If only I had known that conversation would have been our last. I would have stayed on the phone forever.

With grief there are stages a person goes through. And eventually they get to a point where they are coping as they desperately try to find how to move on.

But when a person is murdered, it’s a different set of rules. You don’t just get over it.

Grief is hard enough when a loved one dies. You have to accept the fact you will never see them again, never hear their voice. It’s unbearable at times.

But add to that a bunch of questions that never get answered and you have just complicated the whole process.

My name is Anne Peterson and my sister Peggy Dianovsky, went missing on September 12, 1982. We never believed she walked out as her husband claimed.

We knew she was going for custody of her children.

We knew she was advised not to leave the state, by her attorney.

We knew she loved being a mother than anything else in the world.

Still, we were told she walked out. And sadder still, that’s what her boys were told.

Peggy Dianovsky

Our day in court

In 2004, we went to court as her missing person case had been changed to a possible homicide. We sat there listening to testimony after testimony.

Foolishly, I thought with more information I would feel better. I was wrong.

At one point, they wheeled in a monitor and played a video of Peggy’s house in Schaumburg. As the camera scanned her front entryway and her door swung open my stomach tied in knots.

Leaning over I said to my brother, “I can’t do this.” But I did.  In fact, when it was my turn to testify, I did that too.

I remember how quiet the courtroom became on the day of sentencing. I was certain others around me could hear my heart beating out of my chest. And then Judge Porter spoke. “I find the defendant…

Over in a moment

Really? Was it going to be over in a matter of moments. All our waiting, all our crying?

We knew going in there no matter what the outcome, we’d never have what we really wanted. Peggy.

And now in a matter of moments it would be over. Well, not really. You see, you never get over it. You just try you best to keep going.

“I find the defendant, “Not guilty.”

We sat there unable to move while the other side of the courtroom erupted in cheers, high fives and pats on the back for my brother-in-law.

We were quickly escorted out of the courtroom.

Impact statements

One thing the court system allows are impact statements. It’s when a family member is allowed to share with the court how the death has impacted the family. A statement describing the hell you’ve endured without your loved one, trying to understand what’s impossible to understand. There, in court, in front of all those listening ears.

But here’s the kicker. When there’s no conviction, you don’t get to make that statement.

It’s as if it didn’t happen. That added insult to injury. For no matter what the verdict was, the crime was still committed. A life was erased from a family forever.

BROKEN

If you are dealing with this situation my heart goes out to you. I felt compelled to share my sister’s story as well as my own in my book, BROKEN: A Story of Abuse and Survival.

It’s a book for those who have been abused. It’s for those who are being abused right now. But it’s also a book for those who have no clue about abuse. We need to educate those who look at abuse and ask questions like, “Why didn’t she just leave?”And while it’s a common question, it’s important to know that’s exactly when some are killed. Peggy was trying to leave.

Our lives were forever changed with Peggy’s death.

Domestic violence is real. It’s painful. And we need to do something about it.

One day, it could be your family member. I hope it never is. With all my heart, I hope it never is.

I’d like to share that writing my book really helped me in many ways. I have heard it is a good resource, and that is rewarding. But because I have written it, I have freed up other things inside me. I am now writing children’s books! I believe they were hiding under the pain.

There is hope on the other side. Just take one step at a time. You are not alone.

Anne Peterson has been a contributor to Time’s Up. She is a poet, speaker and published author of Real Love: Guaranteed to Last, Broken: A Story of Abuse and Survival, and most recently, her first children’s book, Emma’s Wish. Anne’s poetry is sold throughout the U.S. and in 23 countries. For more information about Anne visit http://www.annepeterson.com, or https://www.facebook.com/annepetersonwrites.

Victim Impact Statements: A Piece of Justice

by Donna R. Gore, M.A.

Crime: The Domino Effect

The domino effect causes a sequence of reactions where a reactive product or by-product causes additional reactions to take place. It typically refers to a linked sequence of events where the time between successive events is relatively small.

And so it goes… when crime occurs… the dominoes fall…

The Victim Impact Statement
One of the remaining avenues for crime victims to have a voice within the courts is through victim impact statements. Victim impact statements are usually read after trial as a way to get into the record the impact of the crime on the victims along with their friends and families.

Creating the appropriate victim impact statement can be a daunting task for families during one of the most traumatic times in their lives. After the initial loss, the journey through the judicial system can be equally frustrating, time-consuming and emotionally draining, re-traumatizing and bringing grief back to the surface. To best utilize the victims’ right to present a victim impact statement at trial, you must be clear-headed and as objective as possible, which for the crime victim is next to impossible.

Explaining the Overall Impact -
You want to convey the journey and the overall toll it has taken from many perspectives-emotionally, psychologically, physically, financially, your outlook on life currently and projecting into the future, your wishes regarding the disposition of the perpetrator, and changes to the system which negatively impacted and/or re-victimized you or alternately, your satisfaction with how you were treated.

Familiarizing the deciding body with the victim… beyond victimization … It is imperative that you provide a complete portrayal of your loved one both visually and narratively, as this may be your sole opportunity for several years (several years up until the point of your initial court or parole appearance or several years until you obtain another opportunity!) Talk about who your loved one was beyond the crime…. Their assets, talents, what they contributed to the family and to others and their aspirations for the future that were taken away…

Expressing Fear for Your Personal Safety- This is one of your Constitutional rights…(Currently in 33 states and under the Federal Statute - Crime Victim’s Right’s Act enacted in October 2004: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/rights/legislation.html-***The right to be reasonably protected.

Seeking Restitution- Restitution is payment by the offender to the victim to cover some or all of the costs associated with a crime. It is ordered by a judge and usually paid through the Court Support Services Division, or other entity within your state…To request restitution in a criminal court case, contact the State’s Attorney Office or the OVS victim services advocate, located in the court where the criminal case will be prosecuted.

Social Security Administration
Victims or their family members may be eligible for survivor benefits, Medicare, and other social security benefits. For more information, please call the Social Security Administration (SSA) toll-free at 800-772-1213, TTD: 800-325-0778, or visit the Social Security Administration website.

Workers’ Compensation Commission
Available to employees through their employers, workers’ compensation provides wage replacement benefits and medical treatment for injuries that occurred in the workplace or on company property. For more information, call the Workers’ Compensation Commission (WCC) toll-free, in Connecticut only, 800-223-9675 or visit the Worker's Compensation Commission website.

“Revenge” -Emotional Release Whether you call it “revenge” or “emotional release” or “venting,” there is some latitude given here…as opposed to the criminal court process in which a poker face must be maintained with no emotion allowed whatsoever or you will be banished from the court… It is normal to have emotion and to show your sorrow and anger….

Adding Information to the Criminal Proceeding -  Parole/Pardons Board You may have relevant information pertaining to the defendant for the court or parole/pardons board which can influence the ultimate length or provisions of sentencing. It is important that this information be shared and part of the record. [Ladyjustice- As per Atty. M. Cruz, crime victims are not given the opportunity to provide a victim impact statement during civil trials because the attorney represents the interests of the victim directly in civil proceedings (and could argue for damages on their behalf )… WHEREAS in a criminal trial, prosecutors represent the interests of the State and not the victims directly].

Altering Sentencing Your information could be the determining factor in whether the defendant stays in prison or not. Ladyjustice attended a parole hearing several years ago on behalf of a victim’s family in New Haven, in which following the presentation of the parent’s victim impact statements, the perpetrator was given an additional 10 year sentence!! This also occurred with a friend’s case whose brother was murdered California! You may think that the outcome is always pre-determined… BUT there are those instances in which you CAN effect significant change…

Educating Judicial Officials Regarding Victim’s Constitutional Rights: It is more the exception than the rule that the victim’s rights are known, acknowledged and enforced in whichever arena …. You have to be your own advocate and educate others, obtain an attorney who has expertise in crime victim rights. Even when you “have your ducks in arrow” you probably will have to fight for those rights as you encounter resistance. NEVER ASSUME THEY KNOW AND WILL ENFORCE! …. This writer’s experience is a prime example… http://donnagore.com/2013/04/29/justice-and-accountability/

A Forum to Express Forgiveness (In a small percentage of cases) Whether we collectively or individually agree, regardless of the heinous acts of violence resulting in maiming or taking of a life(s), there are those victims who have the capacity to forgive …even murderers because of their strong religious beliefs… [LJ- I say you may have a straight shot to heaven for this more than generous act. Ladyjustice prides herself on being a good person to all those who are deserving…. BUT, she is not THAT generous!]

Related Issues:

In the Intervening Years…..Hypothetically, a perpetrator is sentenced to 25 to 50 years…. Are they actually going to serve all of that time? The answer is “No.” In very general terms, it’s usually the mandatory minimum …perhaps 80% of the sentence in combination with other factors such as” earned good time,” depending on the state and whether determinant sentencing or indeterminate sentencing was ”the yardstick” at the time; whether there were mistakes made in the prosecution and potential issues for appeal and the fact that now…. the rules have changed…. So… law enforcement should never make promises to families about the perp “never getting out.”

What should the family do to prepare in those intervening years? What they should do and what they are able to do are two different matters….

Large proportions of victims put “it“ away in the corner of their minds and don’t want to think about it until and unless they have to... Those of us who are in "the business" of victim advocacy are different, as we have a different personal investment and reasons for staying involved. Those victims who chose not to stay engaged and seemingly “move on with their lives” until the boom drops…they get the call or letter and the dominoes begin to fall ….

A likely scenario is that they suddenly panic…or are steadfast in their anger and resentment…. "Why should I change anything in my life when he is the criminal, not me?"

This is a normal “self preservation type reaction…. They are fearful and angry of the impact for which they have no control They feel that they are not responsible to do anything…for they never asked for this to occur… Thisisalltrue… However, it is cliché… But ..life is what happens when we are busy making other plans. In fact, “someone “must deal with it….

Therefore, a few suggestions:
If you cannot or chose not to be involved with what will occur in the intervening years, you must not live “in a dream world” thinking it’s over for good ….. In fact, that chapter may be over… You must:
Accept the possibility that you may have won the battle, but not the war….
Be vigilant…. You do not have to immerse yourself in crime victim issued daily…. But you must have a working knowledge of the process, your case and the potential for it to “rise up out of the ashes” again
Hire an attorney who is skilled regarding crime victim issues or seek out pro bono legal

Services in your state: http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/probono/directory.html http://www.probono.net/about/

Should I or Should I Not Attend a Sentencing or Hearing?

According to Michelle S. Cruz, Attorney and Crime Victim Advocate, time has not been a true friend to victims when it comes to misinformation by prosecutors and other judicial persons providing advice. Even in November 2013, their attitude is cavalier on this matter, frequently telling victims,(regardless of the type of case,) ”Oh, you don’t have to bother…It’s no big deal…)

How many times have we heard that one and then…. It turned out to be a significant event. Whether for expediency or laziness, victims need to decide if they should be there as part of their rights…and never be told “It’s not as big deal.” Information is power…. Your option is always to have your assigned victim advocate or your private attorney appear on your behalf and report directly what transpired.

How Did It All Begin?

We could not conclude this discussion on crime and victim impact statements without paying homage to the person credited with giving the first official victim impact statement….

Doris Gwendolyn Tate (January 16, 1924 – July 10, 1992) was an advocate for the rights of crime victims. following the murder of her daughter, actress Sharon Tate. She worked to raise public awareness about the United States corrections system and was influential in the amendment of California laws relating to the victims of violent crime.

Doris was born in Houston Texas, and mother of three daughters. In 1969, Sharon, was at the beginning of a film career, and married to film director Roman Polanski Eight months pregnant with their first child, Tate and four others were murdered at the Polanski’s' rented Beverly Hills home in a case that was sensationalized throughout the world.

The killers were eventually identified as Charles “Tex “Watson, Susan Atkins and Patricia Krenwinkel, acting on behalf of the leader of their group, Charles Manson.

All four were found guilty of the murders and sentenced to death, along with Lesley Van Houten, who had not participated in the murder of the Tate victims, but had participated in the murder of a Los Angeles couple the following night.

The death sentences were overturned before they could be applied. when the State of California temporarily abolished the death penalty.

For more than a decade after the murders, Doris Tate battled depression and unable to discuss her daughter's death.

The Turning Point: In 1982, Doris was told that Leslie Van Houten had obtained 900 signatures supporting her quest to achieve parole. Tate mounted a public campaign against Van Houten, winning the support of the National Enquirer, which printed coupons for people to sign and send to Doris With more than 350,000 signatures, Tate demonstrated that a considerable number of people opposed Van Houten's parole, which was denied.

She later became an active member of the Victim Offender Reconciliation and Justice for Homicide Victims groups. She founded COVER, the Coalition on Victim's Equal Rights, and served on the California State Advisory Committee on Correctional Services as a victims' representative.

She was part of a group that worked toward the passage of Proposition 8, the Victim's Rights Bill, which was passed in 1982. It allowed the presentation of victim impact statements during the sentencing of violent attackers.

Tate became the first Californian to make such a statement after the law was passed, when she spoke at the parole hearing of one of her daughter's killers.

In 1984 she ran for the California State Assembly as an advocate for victim's rights. Though unsuccessful,, she continued to campaign for changes to existing laws, and was involved in the passage of Proposition 89, which allowed the governor of the state to overturn decisions made by the Board of Prison Terms.

Tate's assessment of Manson, Watson, Atkins, Krenwinkel and Van Houten concluded that their crimes were so vicious as to warrant execution. While addressing Charles Watson at his 1984 parole hearing, she said,

"What mercy, sir, did you show my daughter when she was begging for her life? What mercy did you show my daughter when she said, “Give me two weeks to have my baby and then you can kill me?

When will Sharon come up for parole? Will these seven victims and possibly more walk out of their graves if you get paroled? You cannot be trusted”. She confronted Watson again at his 1990 parole hearing.



The Doris Tate Crime Victim’s Bureau

http://www.ican-foundation.org/about/

http://tatefoundation.com/?q=doris_tate

http://www.sharontate.net/bio4.html

How Far We’ve Come:

Judges and juries care about what you have been through. It hasn’t always been that way.

Victim advocate Jo Kolanda describes a sentencing hearing she attended in the 1970’s:

“I went to court for the sentencing of a defendant who had been convicted of homicide by intoxicated use of a vehicle. With me were the mom and dad of the young woman he killed.

The offender’s parents, friends, and pastor told the court what a wonderful guy he was. The victim’s parents asked the assistant district attorney to ask the judge if they could tell the court about their daughter. The judge said they could not because . “It would be inflammatory.” Then he added that….. “He couldn’t understand why this simple traffic case was cluttering up his court calendar in the first place.”
[Reference: Janice Harris Lord, ACSW-LMSW/LPC For Mothers Against Drunk Driving Copyright © 2003 Mothers Against Drunk Driving, James Rowland, founder of the Victim Impact Statement; Anne Seymour of Justice Solutions in Washington, D.C et.al]

Other References
http://www.sccvc.org/sccvc/documents/Your_Victim_Impact_Statement.pdf
http://ovc.ncjrs.gov/ncvrw2013/pdf/Landmarks.pdf
http://www.jud.ct.gov/Publications/vs010.pdf

Donna Gore created a service program for crime victims and offers her assistance in creating a cohesive victim impact statement tailored to the individuals and their cases. She recognizes that this could be of great value to not only the crime victim, but to the court system as well.

By using Gore’s services a crime victim can be coached on how to best present their victim impact statement. From her vast experience volunteering in the courtroom, she is able to act as a liaison with advocates who may not have the same experiences. Working with the court advocates, attorneys, and prosecutors, not only will the crime victims’ voices be heard, they will be presented professionally, courteously, and effectively.

Donna R. Gore is a consultant and trainer with the Office of Victim Services within the US Department of Justice. She is the host of the internet radio show, Shattered Lives which broadcasts every Saturday at 5pm Eastern time on the Inside Lenz Network.

Victim Impact Statements: Isn’t it Time for a Little Creativity and Personalization?

by Donna R. Gore, M.A.

Typical Sample [Compliments of crimevictimservicecenter.org – Kennewick, WA]

The crime committed against me by John Doe has hurt me in so many ways that I don’t know where to begin.

My friends and co-workers have mentioned to me that my demeanor and behavior has changed at work and during social activities. I am currently experiencing flashbacks of the event and suffer from nightmares and lack of sleep. I constantly replay the day of the crime over and over in my head. I had to describe the day of the crime to the detective, then to the prosecuting attorney, then to the defense attorney, and to an investigator. Having to repeat the events of the incident over and over again was stressful and tried my patience. It became harder and harder to answer their questions or even tell my story again. I had to miss work, show up to work late, and leave work early due to the stress I was experiencing. I am in counseling because I am stressed, anxious, hypersensitive, and have suicidal thoughts. I wish this had never happened and I want it over as soon as possible, but I know my paranoia will never go away.

This crime has hurt my family too. My mother also suffers from insomnia and anxiety due to the crime. We live in a small town and everyone has heard about the crime. My father almost lost his job because he has had to attend court with me. I can’t escape the questions from friends of the family. Naturally, everyone is concerned for my family and me, but not being able to escape the incident kills me. It is just another constant reminder that John Doe committed a crime against my family and me.

I have friends telling me that they ran into John Doe and that she/he says they’re sorry. I wish she/he would stop communicating to me through our mutual friends. When I hear that people have run into her/him my heart races, I have shortness of breath, and start to feel dizzy.

I’m constantly asking God why? Why me, why my family? What did I do to deserve this?

I’m worried what John Doe might do after she/he gets out. I want her/him to get help because this isn’t the first time this crime has been committed and that she/he’d been sorry. I don’t want John Doe to hurt me or anyone else. I want to be protected from John Doe forever.

...end...

In 1987, Ladyjustice’s victim impact statement would not have won the Pulitzer Prize for journalism….But, it was from the heart. Looking back now, I could have crafted something different…if the emotions hadn’t gotten in the way. And that is the point. Having emotions interjected into the narrative and/or verbal presentation is a double-edged sword… On the one hand, the judge, the attorneys, the defendant and the families need to hear the emotion to understand and to validate the tremendously negative changes in their quality of life and the realities of the situation in terms of the human toll.

On the other hand, emotion can overtake the speaker, especially when in very close proximity to the defendant. As a survivor, you want your day in court. It’s your special time to relate just how devastating the entire experience has been.

Currently in Connecticut, Victim Services open approximately 13,000 new cases annually, assist 14,000 with victim impact statements and accompany over 15,000 victims to court.

In 1987, six years after the murder, Ladyjustice and her mother each took turns and related individual impact statements directly to the presiding judge. Some people choose to “challenge” the defendant to make eye contact in an attempt to “show immediate respect.” Fat chance! This blogger didn’t even bother with that request!

Rather, I was mentally focused on how not to relinquish power to this serial murderer; not to give in to fear of retaliation; not to feel that you must look over your shoulder the rest of your life if you say this or that for fear of triggering a response… One cannot live life in fear, no matter what has been taken away! For if you do, the perpetrator has won.

He has the power!

Internet research revealed minimal information or samples of victim impact statements for general public consumption. There are no standard templates. However, the most basic of guidelines furnished by the Crime Victim Services Center in Washington State recommend discussion of the following general topics: ‘With a couple of my suggestions thrown in…

1) How the perpetrator’s criminal behavior has effected the victim(s) physically, emotionally and financially;

2) Discuss any concerns regarding personal safety and security;

3) “Provide suggestions for a resolution that is fair, that will give the offender the opportunity to take responsibility for actions that caused loss or harm.”

[ Surely you jest if you are talking about felony charges. Taking responsibility – What’s that? And…. how do you spell pre-determined plea bargain?? ]

More specifically, other factors to contemplate when composing your impact statement –

1) How have your feelings changed about life in general, your lifestyle; your ability to relate to others, your ability to cope and need for support or counseling?

2) If you have sustained physical injuries, what were they and how long did they last? Are they continuing? How have your injuries impacted your ability to perform everyday tasks and recreational activities?

The “Aftermath” Questions

What about your ability to:

1) Maintain your general health;

2) Eat, sleep, concentrate;

3) Have other ailments “appeared out of the blue?”

4) Have your relationships with family members, co-workers and “society in general” changed?

5) Are you unable to trust others now?

6) Do you feel a sense of intimacy with your significant other?

7) What changes have occurred with your employer? Are they flexible in allowing you to attend court appearances, counseling and medical appointments?

8) What is your financial status currently?

9) Are you able to be productive?

10) Do you have hope for the future?

The above list is certainly not all inclusive…but rather covers the general landscape.

A Word of Two from …..The National Center for Victims of Crime

In addition, results of the National Center for Victims of Crime’s public opinion poll also revealed that 55% of Americans feel that sentences handed down to criminals by the court are too lenient.

Perhaps this is why seven out of 10 Americans believe that it is very important for the judicial system to provide victims and their families with “…an opportunity to make a statement prior to the sentencing of the offender about how the crime has affected them.”

In essence, for the court to impose fair and just sentences, it is critical that information be provided to the sentencing and paroling authorities on the emotional, financial and physical impact of crime – information that only victims can accurately define and provide through the use of victim impact statements.

Clearly the criminal justice system is ready, as is the American public, for the permanent infusion of victim impact statements into the justice process. We must now make the use of victim impact statements functional and consistent within the criminal justice system.

Comprehensive guidelines, protocol and model victim impact statement instruments must be drafted that address the needs of both the justice system and the victim. Victims must be systematically and consistently made aware of their right to submit victim impact statements and the statement’s application within the system. To accomplish this goal, each criminal justice agency that has contact with crime victims must have comprehensive agency guidelines and protocol that outline the roles and responsibilities of each staff member in the notification, distribution, collection and application of the victim impact statements.

Making a Case for Specialized Victim Impact Statements

Approximately a year ago, this author had a “brainstorming” idea to offer a service to future victims of crime regarding the creation of individually tailored victim impact statements for the following reasons:

1) Not everyone is a wordsmith nor are they able to express their thoughts and feelings in writing (even before the crime occurred);

2) The emotional impact of the experience including recounting the events, facing the defendant and his supporters, the finality of the process; the outcome of the verdict; the absence of their loved one. can incapacitate a victim and not allow him or her to complete their presentation. [ Of course there are options such as mailing letters to the judge, allowing another relative or the prosecutor to read etc…. However, it is sometimes a poor substitute and the impact may not be experienced in the same way]

3) If the victim is capable of sharing his/her private thoughts and feelings with an Advocate who is also a skilled writer, the burden is lessened. If such a writer were to create a series of questions specifically designed to elicit information to portray the deceased person in a way that honors them and is meaningful to the family… How Wonderful!

4) The possibility of a videotaped presentation or a video memorial tribute could go a long way in helping the judge to understand the enormity of their loss.

Currently no specific companies specializing in videotaped victim impact statements could be located via internet search. What a shame….

The problem.. and the beauty of this idea is that people are not “one size fits all” and therefore victim impact statements should not be mass produced as in a “sausage factory.” They are too personal…too important.

The words potentially have the power to alter sentencing!

But, who would provide the service? Who would fund it? Who would keep track of the data comparing customized statements to those that are essentially “fill in the blank essays”? Could this idea come to fruition? Why not?

Heed the advice of the National Center for Victims of Crime. Do not let victim impact statements become an afterthought!

I welcome other input concerning this idea. Until then, Thorence Brey features a series of videotaped Victim Impact Statements for your viewing interest at:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xkikdy_victim-impact-statements-thorance-brey_news

To read more about Donna R. Gore and learn more about "LadyJustice," refer to her website: www.donnagore.com Donna is the host of SHATTERED LIVES each Saturday at 5ET.