Is There Hope When A Loved One Is Missing?

By Cynthia Caron

When a loved one goes missing it is important to always offer hope. Even when the circumstances may appear to look grim, who are we, as people, to decide for a family of a missing loved one that "things will not be good?" We cannot determine an outcome will for surely be a bad one.

Hope is what makes life bearable when times are difficult and more so when one is living with the fear of what has happened to their missing family member. It is important, that no matter how difficult it may be, to maintain hope. This can be achieved by surrounding oneself with caring people who are there to listen, comfort them, provide a shoulder to lean on and offer hope. Hope is a definite positive.

Love can create hope when families see none. This is such a profound statement and is most especially important for those having so many unanswered questions with aching hearts of needing to be able to hold and know their loved missing is safe. While nobody can change what may have already happened, we can help the family keep their stamina through hope. No, we cannot provide a miracle, but we can provide love. There are a number of ways that friends, extended family and colleagues can offer to help the family. One can offer to help hang missing posters in the community for the family or even simple offerings of bringing dinner to the family or help with babysitting. Every gesture is appreciated and the more love the family receives the easier it is to bear with their pain and fears.

Hope is expectation moderated by realization that nothing is certain. This is so true and we’ve all seen cases in which a missing loved was located safely that we surely thought was not going to have a good outcome, as well as those we felt would be located safely and were not. Again, we are mere mortals and nobody can guarantee an outcome with certainty.

The belief in a positive outcome, is hope. Therefore, nobody should ever tell a family of a missing loved one that hope does not exist and certainly not by law enforcement or any advocate who work with families of missing. Hope is an emotion, a needed bar to grab onto when one feels they may fall. It is what enables all humans to wake each morning to face another day. Nobody has the right to ever take away another person’s hope.

If you believe in miracles, then hope always exists. No matter how grim, no matter what the evidence may suggest it has happened time and again in which miracles have happened. Even those who may not be religious have to admit that they’ve seen, read or heard of miracles in which a positive outcome came from a very grave situation.

Hope is faith. While I personally believe hope is faith, not everyone holds a religious perspective and so I would like to say that for those who do not have the same belief as I, to think of your hope as a personal journey, within yourself, to whatever place in your mind that you can go that helps to bring out the positive encouragement for yourself and your family. Faith can be from your personal religious beliefs, or can be from your own self-positive comforting measures.

The light within us is hope that pierces the darkness of doubt, fears and discouragement. Think of infants that are just learning to walk. Do they have hope? Absolutely! They have doubt, fears of falling and even may feel discouraged but something within them, some may call it determination but I call it hope…hope and the excitement on their faces when they toddle a few steps with their arms raised and always with a smile on their faces. So when things look bleak, when all may seem ominous know that as long as you have hope…the days ahead will be more manageable.

Always hope. Should things turn differently there will be plenty of time for sorrow.

I Wished!

 By Pamela Chapman

As I followed a link that would take me to Susan Murphy Milano’s website, I was lead to another devastating story of our justice system failing three children. I took a deep breath. My heart sank. There seems to be no shortage of stories of mayhem, chaos, devastation, or destruction. Whether we’re looking at domestic destruction or natural destruction the stories are endless.

This morning on my usual walk with self and God I took in the panoramic views of the mountains, the hills, the trees and the skies. Everything around me appeared serene and calm. “Is this real?” I thought. Or, is this my personal phantom or illusion? How can all that I am now seeing appear to be so right, so peaceful and so perfectly aligned with God while there is, yet, another world filled with despair, pain, and devastation? A world where children’s lives are cut short, women are devalued, misogynist beliefs and views are alive and well and, what is wrong is accepted for right.  How can the systems of this world be so broken and twisted?

I began to wish and pray for a better world.  I wished that every child on this earth be able to lay their head down at night without danger, without worry, and without fear. I wished they would experience unconditional love and complete acceptance from their parents or guardians. I wished that every woman would feel and believe she is the apple of God’s eye, His center, and His pursuit. I wished that she would know, without a doubt, without a double-take that she was loved, cherished, and revered. I wished her self-esteem was healthy and her self-confidence strong while believing and knowing she was amazingly created and her God said, “It is good.” I wished she would experience the perfect square of life: health, wealth, love and perfect self-expression. I wished that if and when something went wrong and judgment had to be sought that judgment would be fair, unbiased, and sovereign—not based upon gender, politics, or dollar. I wished the lion and the sheep would be able to lay down with one another and there would be no need for the lion to show how strong or powerful he was. I wished this world would be a harmonious force, each [wo]man finding their way, their purpose and path painlessly.

It can be really easy to dismiss my wishes as hopeful or positive thinking but I won’t give up believing, hoping, praying and wishing. I won’t give up believing, hoping, praying and wishing that the work of my fellow humanitarians, the known and the unknown, will not be in vain and one day, “every tear will be wiped away, every tear from our eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4.

I wished, my sister and my brother that you be endowed with the strength, tenacity, and unconditional love necessary to bring about this great change.

I wished!