Murder in Progress: Elizabeth New Jersey

[In the town of Elizabeth New Jersey, a murder is being planned, in progress, by a commissioned police officer as I write this post.]

The officer and his wife have been married for more than a dozen years. The couple has 2 children. Yesterday, she had her husband served with divorce papers after years of having a gun pulled and cocked to her head, numerous rapes, and terroristic tactics to keep her a victim and not call police for help. “I’ve had enough” she said. “My husband is not going to get away with it.”

This officer has not acted alone, receiving assistance from his fellow tin shield cowards in uniform as they assist this bozo with a badge. To add fuel to this already deadly flame, the officer’s brother is a high ranking Lieutenant, his supervisor in the same department.

Similar to Kathleen Savio , wife of former Bolingbrook Police Sgt. Drew Peterson,( who is awaiting trial for her murder) found dead on March 1, 2004, in a dry bathtub, Savio was also silenced with the assistance of fellow officers with the same pattern of conduct taking place in Elizabeth, New Jersey.

During the months leading up to the discovery of Kathleen's corpse, officers routinely sat in their squad cars in front of her house, drinking coffee -- the ultimate 'screw you' for thousands of police officers' wives whose cries for help fall on deaf ears. In March 2002, Drew Peterson and Kathleen Savio filed for divorce. On March 11, 2002, Kathleen secured a temporary emergency order of protection. In an unusual move before the divorce was finalized, Kathleen also signed a power of attorney so Drew could buy a home just down the street with his then-underage new love interest. Victims of violence always wish their aggressive, abusive partners would move on to someone else. Kathleen’s strategy was brilliant. She got out of her own way; however humiliating at the time, she disarmed Peterson by waiving her rights to the property as a marital asset. Kathleen knew firsthand the danger she faced from Drew, a police officer and abusive husband, if she refused to sign the document. She signed it only out of pure fear.

When all her attempts failed to get help from the police -- those whose job it is to serve and protect -- Kathleen Savio wrote letters to then-Will County Assistant State’s Attorney Elizabeth Fragale documenting Peterson’s alleged abuse. They included claims that in July 2002, Peterson held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. But Savio was only further victimized when the state attorney’s office dropped the ball. Prosecutors should have filed separate felony stalking charges for threatening phone calls from Peterson and for each time he stalked her. They didn't -- not even when the court issued the emergency order of protection against him.

Sending the letters was a courageous move not only by a victim but by a police officer's wife. These letters, written and signed by Kathleen, would not see the light of day until a parade of media swarmed down on the home at Pheasant Chase Drive until after news broke that Stacy Peterson, his fourth wife, had vanished

The Elizabeth, New Jersey's officers wife has also written letters to Attorney General Eric Holder; Newark Attorney General’s office; Office of the Director of the Elizabeth Police James Cosgrove; Chief of Police Ronald Simon; Union County prosecutor’s office; Sen. Frank Lautenberg; New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie; and the Mayor of Elizabeth. The letters were sent on September 22, 2010, detailing the times, dates and details of the horrific violence. The only person whom responded so far is the Mayor who contacted the officer’s wife earlier this week.

Here is a brief overview of it, in her own words, what she has experienced: a Police Officer from the Elizabeth Police Dept., in Elizabeth, NJ. I had my husband arrested 8/12/2010, and was granted a Temporary Restraining Order of Protection. Which was later dropped because the night before going to court; I was threatened by a private caller to drop all charges. I was intimated and scared and never showed up. The Temporary Restraining Order was dropped.

On 8/19/2010 incident of dropping TRO, this gave my husband the opportunity to harass me with phone calls, and threatening texts. I t would start out just being friendly to escalating to vivacious threats of harming me. I tried to ignore them, causing me emotional distress and fear. I fear him, because after many years of mental and physical abuse from him, I know this anger and rage....I know he is going to come after me or what’s most important in my life "My Daughters". This man suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, which I would have the dept. have him evaluated psychologically.

On September 20- 22, 2010, my husband decided it was a day to harass me with over 50 calls to my home and texting. I sent a email to his Internal Affairs office stating to please advice the officer to leave me alone... this was ignored by the Captain. Nothing was done, because he continued until September 28, 2010. I had to go to Ocean County Court and get another TRO. Which was granted, and he obeyed the TRO... I have a concern with his internal affairs dept. they are conducting a investigation, in which to me seems fictional. I understand that the code of blue is a brotherhood to protect each other. Well in these cases there should be protection for the victim not the Police Officer. We are not trained in the law or how to inflect bodily harm, nor do we carry guns and badges. We have no power or authority to manipulate the justice system.

I could continue but you get the idea. The Elizabeth New Jersey’s officer wife currently has a civil restrain order, which means nothing for her safety and life.

As she say’s “ It’s just a piece of paper, telling him to obey. But it gives me no protection from Police Dept. should he violate the civil order.” I And every physical abuse after my beating, he would throw the phone at me, and “ Go ahead bitch call the police” and laugh.

“I don’t want to be the next victim I want to be safe and alive for my daughters.”

I currently am in the possession of information and documents that I will not hesitate releasing, including names and badge numbers should another incident or threat to harm this officers wife from Elizabeth, New Jersey, take place from this point going forward.

I should mention before I receive correspondence from those angry officers who attempt to post anonomously or send me emails laced with threats, that I was the daughter of a decorated Chicago violent crimes detective. I am an expert in the area of officer related intimate violence and homicide. My career began in 1989 when my mother was murdered by my father.

Gentlemen, I have no problem coming to Elizabeth, New Jersey as I did recently in Garvin County, OKlahoma, with an army of media and others if the powers in place, fail to immediately stop this murder in progress.

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold. And she is the host of Time's Up on http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and she is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated show with Dr. Laurie Roth on http://www.therothshow.com/)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

WILL THE TRAGEDY IN FORT HOOD FINALLY SEND A S.O.S. (SAVE OUR SOLDIERS)?

By Michelle Simonsen, True Crime Writer and Victim's Rights Advocate

In the spirit of Veteran’s Day, and in the unfortunate tragedy of Fort Hood; I felt it necessary to address the obvious refusal of the military and the government to appropriately address the mounting numbers of Veterans living with untreated mental illnesses.

Fort Hood may have been dealt with a massive blow of tragedy last week, but just a year ago in Fort Hood, on September 8, 2008, an altercation between a soldier and his commanding officer ended in a murder suicide.

Do you remember hearing about that case? I don’t.

The next day on September 9, 2008, a VA report acknowledged that suicide rates for young male Iraq and Afghanistan veterans hit a record high in 2006. (Cite)

Marine suicides have doubled between 2006 and 2007, and Army suicides are at the highest level since records were first kept in 1980. Reported suicide attempts jumped 500% between 2002 and 2007. “The Defense Department says the numbers may be partly attributable to better compliance with reporting requirements.” (Cite)

Reporting requirements? Better compliance? Better than what? Has the military lacked its duty in the past? Has the government been feeding us with false information and statistics that aren’t even the tip of the real iceberg?

What am I getting at? What’s my point? The government has failed our Veterans in a big way.

On November 6, 2008, the National Survey on Drug Use and Health Report stated, “Recent research indicates that an estimated 25 to 30 percent of the Veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have reported symptoms of a mental disorder or cognitive condition. Untreated mental health problems can result in long-term negative consequences for the affected individuals, their families, their communities, and our Nation as a whole.”

Once a Soldier returns home, there is no “checks and balances list” on how to cope with regular civilian life. Specifically, no one checks or receives updates on a returning Soldier’s mental health status unless that Soldier specifically requests help. This is a huge barrier since the majority of returning Soldiers are men, and historically men avoid mental health care, therapy and medication.

Kyle Bahrs, a 29-year-old Midwest native was married to a two tour Army Sergeant who served in Iraq from 2005 to 2008. "Tim" currently suffers from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in addition to a traumatic brain disorder that left him 70% disabled.

Kyle knew "Tim" before he joined the Army and served in Iraq. “He was ‘normal’. Trivial things didn’t bother him, he was fun.” After returning "Tim" went from a fun loving guy to “a cruel, mean and abusive man.”

"Tim's" life became crippled by his untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and received no mental health care until Kyle insisted, threatening their marriage. Kyle stated “the health care system was completely overbooked, he was rushed, and there were never enough people working.” She continued, “It was completely bureaucratic. It took "Tim" at least two months just to get in to see someone. And when he did they acted like they didn’t give a shit. It was so disheartening because he put his life on the line and didn’t receive any gratitude and the most basic need once a solider returns. Psychological health care.”

While Kyle was married to "Tim", he started drinking excessively and was becoming violent. “He got real paranoid. He wouldn’t answer the door unless he had a gun in his hand.” Then there were the nightmares, “He would wake up screaming…he had dreams and visions of the faces of the people that he killed. I felt helpless. What do you say to that?”

According to the U.S. Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventative Medicine on Combat Stress there is a list of mental and physical symptoms before, during and after deployment. I showed Kyle this list and she said that "Tim" displayed practically every single symptom.

Common Stressors to the Deployment Cycle:

Pre-Deployment (from notification to departure)

• Anger and protest
• Emotional detachment
• Family stress
• Marital disagreements

Deployment (from departure to return)

• Emotional destabilization and disorganization
• Sadness, depression, disorientation, anxiety, loneliness
• Sleep disturbances
• Health complaints
• Financial problems
• Some find the midpoint of deployment as the time of greatest stress
• Fear for safety of deployed service member

Reunion

• Apprehension over redefined roles and power dynamics

Post Deployment

• Honeymoon period
• Resentment over loss of independence
• Insecurity about place in reconfigured system
• Service member may have difficulty disengaging from combat mission orientation.
• Domestic violence

Soldier Combat Stress Reaction

Physical

• Trouble falling asleep
• Oversleeping
• Waking up in the middle of the night
• Difficulty with sexual and non sexual intimacy
• Fatigue
• Feeling jumpy
• Being easily started

Emotional

• Feeling overwhelmed
• Depression
• Irritability
• Feeling numb
• Difficulty readjusting to family routines
• Difficulty reconnecting with family
• Discomfort being around other people or in crowds
• Frustration
• Guilt
• Crying

Cognitive

• Difficulty with memory
• Loss of interest/motivation
• Concentration problems
• Difficult talking about deployment experiences
• Loss of trust

(Source: U.S. Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventative Medicine on Combat Stress, Soldier Combat Stress Reaction Brochure)

Steffan, a 40-year old African American Gulf War Veteran, stated that there was no “mental health” process after he returned to the United States. He stated, “mental health wasn’t even an issue that people thought about.” He added that a lot of guys he knew who had problems started drinking to “dull it away”. If someone needed mental health services, they had to initiate it.

It’s easier to ignore a bad situation by depending on alcohol or drugs, especially when that person doesn’t have strong family support.

As a Country that boasts the best military in the world, we have a lot to learn about humans themselves. These issues need be taken seriously by the military, and our government needs to consciously implement statistic-changing policies before we start to see a change in this downward spiral of unnecessary human demise that affects us all.

Send your concerns to the following:

Department of Defense

http://www.defenselink.mil

Department of Defense Task Force on Mental Health

5205 Leesburg Pike

Falls Church, Virginia 22041-3258

Read their 2007 Annual Report:

http://www.health.mil/dhb/mhtf/MHTF-Report-Final.pdf

Michelle Simonsen is a victim's rights advocate, crime analyst and blogger for "Michelle Says So", founder of the grassroots consumer boycott, "Boycott Aruba--Justice for Natalee Holloway", an advisory board member of "Survivors in Action", and is a contributing writer for "Now Public", and "True Crime Talk".

What's the Problem With Problem Partners?

By Sandra L. Brown



Problem partners create problems which manifest as problem relationships. These relationships are often referred to as 'bad relationships,''drama,' 'dysfunctional' even 'abusive' when in fact, often the dynamic at play is a result of what I have coined 'Pathological Love Relationships.' People wrongly assume that even abusive relationships can be 'fixed.' All abusers are not created equal. Some are permanently disordered.

These problem relationships are related to permanent personality structures and disorders.
Mislabeled, undiagnosed, or misunderstood, these relationships churn out the problems for the partners, their children, their families, and the therapists who try to help them. Behaviors associated with problem partners can include: repeat violence, chronic infidelity, addiction relapsing, unstabilized mental illness, parasitic lifestyle, abandoning the family/children, chronic use of court and lawsuits, stalking and cyber-stalking, attempted homicides.

Neuroscience has helped us understand some of the brain processes and problems involved in problem partners which have disorders referred to as the 'Erratic and Dramatic' disorders.

The partners who are challenged by faulty brain processing and negative behaviors often associated with narcissism and anti-social personality disorders and the group of no conscience disorders of sociopathy and psychopathy which make for some pretty lousy
relational material. 

This lousy relationship quality I refer to as 'Inevitable Harm' because when someone's brain processes are hard-wired and they lack the ability to sustain positive changes through therapy or develop insight about how their negative behavior hurts others--there's only one way this relationship is going to be---harmful. Even the court system now labels these relationships uniquely as 'High Conflict Cases.'

My contribution to Times Up! blog is going to look at Inevitable Harm related to partners who have problems bigger than what psychology can do for them. We help others identify if they are in PROBLEM RELATIONSHIPS.


We will look at:

* The traits of those with chronic personality problems that wreak havoc in the relationship
* Look at the unusual pathological love relationship dynamics specific to these disorders
* Take a peek at the neuroscience about what is wrong with their brain
* Learn the elevated temperament or 'super' traits of those who have gotten in relationships with this kind of disorder
* Marvel at the affected language, communication and meaning in these relationships and how it drives the other partner crazy
* Understand why these relationships feel more intense than others
* Realize why break ups are hard to do and fraught with 'Boomerang' attraction

Along the way we will review the characteristics in the disorders related to impulsivity, sexual acting out, interpersonal exploitation, low/no empathy, excitement seeking, and conning.

And of course, we'll look at the physical, sexual, and financial harm of these emotionally lethal predators and parasites. Stay tuned. I look forward to opening your eyes about Pathological Love Relationships!

Sandra Brown

The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction &
Public Psychopathy Education
www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com