A New Year: 2013!

by Anita Sullivan

Over the past month, we’ve sung carols, lit candles, shopped, opened presents, cooked elaborate meals, talked or visited with family we rarely do, decked the halls, filled the stockings, and celebrated the season. But now that it’s time to clean the mess, pay the bills, head back to school and work, and start the New Year, what do we focus on now?

For so many people, Christmas is truly a magical time. Yet we can easily forget that in homes across our land, the magic can’t outweigh the reality that families face. In that home with abuse? It didn’t end, and may have even been worse with the added pressures. In that home with not enough money to keep things going? December didn’t change that, and guilt was felt for not providing as much as they hoped. In that home where illness casts a shadow? It still did, as families spent their Christmas in the hospital praying the New Year would bring new health. In the home where loss was felt this year? Grief still lived, sometimes with added hurt over missing their loved one through the holidays.

As I step back and look at the Christmas season from a different angle, I see that the magic truly comes from people who share God’s love, not from any tinsel or gift. There are those who buy extra presents- and gift them to children in shelter. There are those who hang lights- not just on their own trees, but on displays for the community to enjoy. There are those who sing songs- not just with their families, but for the community after many many hours of practice. There are those who serve food- not just in their home, but for masses of people who have none. There are those who give money- and not just for last minute tax breaks, but of love.

The magic of Christmas is in how much is given with nothing asked in return. The danger is that the season ends, and the needs don’t. The families still hurt, the needs still exist, and yet the giving isn't at the same pace.

As we begin 2013, consider how you gave this Christmas season, how you showed love to those who need it. Don’t let it stop because the season is over. Let this be the year of Christmas all year long.

 Anita Sullivan is the sister of a missing person, and long time advocate of victims, even before having a personal connection to the world of lost. During college,Anita found a passion for helping others and was involved in a variety of ministries. She then started a career in non-profit, first working with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. She went on to work with at risk families through a supervised visitation program before spending several years in fundraising and advocacy. She now tries to reach people with a message of Hope through writing and speaking, while honoring her brother, Michael "Austin" Davis, who has been missing since 2007. To learn more about Anita, visit her at losingaustin.blogspot.com.

A Hug is Worth a Thousand Words… Project Smile

by Donna R. Gore, M.A.

Do you recall your favorite toy growing up? What was that special source of comfort for you when life was so unfair and Mom wasn’t available? For “Little Girljustice” – in and out of the hospital so many times she couldn’t count, it was the classic “Raggedy Ann” doll. For LJ’s sister, Holly, it was a blanket … just like Linus! We remember the ritual of the tattered remains being brought out to the garbage barrels and then gone forever… ‘Quite traumatic!

A “normal childhood” can be traumatic in itself. However, just imagine if you are a vulnerable child witnessing for the first time… or innumerable times… the horror of domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, chronic illness or the ravages of a house fire. What is a child to do? Run or curl up in a ball…into the fetal position? Who can a child turn to in such situations?

Enter Catherine Pisacane from Hopedale, Massachusetts. (Hopedale is a quaint looking small town of 5.3 square miles with approximately 6,000 residents in Central Massachusetts – Worchester County). Ms. Pisacane was a Hunter College graduate, majoring in English… who just happened to acquire a degree in criminal justice as well.

It was against this backdrop that Catherine’s heartstrings were pulled in the worst (or best) of ways… A newspaper account told of three young brothers from New Jersey who were starved by their adaptive parents. What?? Yes… sadly this does happen more often than you would think. Adoption is not always motivated by love… but another way to “abuse the system and rake in the money.” As the story goes, the three little boys were taken into protective custody, and brought to the police station. One of the boys was given a small stuffed animal (a tiger) during interviewing and clung to it for dear life, as it obviously provided the comfort he so badly needed!

This tragedy was the impetus for the initiation of “Project Smile,” a tax exempt non-profit, donating small stuffed animals, toys, coloring books/crayons and storybooks to first responders such as police, fire fighters and ambulance crews who in turn, distribute them to needy children in the course of their jobs. Currently all New England States and Arizona participate, according to their website information. Statistics to date: Participation:

Massachusetts – State & Local Police Total – 87 Departments; Massachusetts Fire Fighters & Ambulance Total – 37 Departments; New Hampshire Total 2 Departments; Maine Total 1 Department; Connecticut Total 7 Departments; Rhode Island Total 5 Departments; New Jersey Total 1 Department; Arizona Total 1 Department

In addition, Project Smile has developed a partnership with the Department of Children and Families by assisting approximately 7,000 children in foster care and children living in shelters.

[LJ- May is National Foster Care Month: In Connecticut, 4,441 children were in state care as of April 2012; 71% lived in a family setting – traditional foster care or a relative’s home; 3,298 homes were licensed to provide care as of April 2012; For more information on becoming a foster or adoptive parent in Connecticut, call 888-KID-HERO or go to www.ctfosteradopt.com.]

Who Benefits?

As stated earlier, those children who are vulnerable to situations of domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, chronic illness, grief over the loss of family members and house fires are typical scenarios. [Ladyjustice can envision other scenarios such as child neglect from parental drug addiction or alcoholism, children in frequent transition from shelters, foster care situations, or extended hospitalizations,]

Expansion of Services

As of January 2008, Catherine expanded her services to include seniors who have been diagnosed with various forms of dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease. When these patients make the transition from their home residence to a nursing home, it can be very frightening and traumatic. Furthermore, these patients can feel a sense of comfort and the introduction of a stuffed animal by a police officer or EMT can produce a calming effect, similar to that of a child. And so… we have long lasting benefit at both ends of the spectrum.

How Does It Work?

New or gently used items in excellent condition can be purchased or dropped off at a location close to you …or mailed to Project Smile. (***See guidelines/restrictions at this link: http://www.projectsmile.org/help.htm. There are size, condition and “noise” restrictions on donated stuffed animals and small toys.

How You Can Help – Options:

Ø Volunteer to start a local chapter anywhere in the U.S. with their guidance;

Ø Make a financial (tax deductible) contribution via their headquarters…or through Virtual Aid Drive. This option enables you to see/shop for items that are truly needed, as well as offering a time efficient and cost efficient manner. (The majority of items range from $2.99 to $4.99 using this method. http://vad.aidmatrix.org/vadxml.cfm?driveid=2497;

Ø Using Project Smile’s Guidelines, sort out your own items, drop off locally or mail. For larger bulk donations, please call first for arrangements.

Fundraising events and application for grants appear to be on-going as well!

Stay tuned… Christine Pisacane and one of her first responders may be a “Shattered Lives” radio guest in the future (if we’re lucky!)

Contact Info:

Ms. Christine Pisacane, Executive Director

Project Smile

P.O. Box 336

Hopedale, MA 01747

cpisacane@projectsmile.org;

Tel: (508) 634-0203


“Hugs” Ladyjustice!

To read more of Donna Gore's posts, and learn more about "LadyJustice," refer to her website: www.donnagore.com Donna is also a Featured Columnist for Here Women Talk and the host of SHATTERED LIVES each Saturday at 5ET.