Jacque Waller "Missing Mother and Hero"

by Susan Murphy-Milano

In the early afternoon of June 1, 2011, Jacque Sue Waller, 39, met with her attorney to finalize the divorce from her estranged and abusive husband, Clay Waller, 40, in Cape Girardeau County, Missouri.  Clay Waller was a former police officer turned contractor and his wife, Jacque, was employed for several years with Blue Cross Blue Shield. According to family members, after years of abuse, she gained the courage to end the relationship with him, packed up her triplets and moved into her sister’s home the previous year.  

After the meeting with her attorney, Jacque drove to Clay Waller’s rental home to pick up the couple’s 5-year old son, Maddox. What she didn’t know was that her son wasn’t there, but was at the home of her soon to be ex-husband’s new girlfriend.  Jacque made a call to her sister at 4:00 pm and left a message to let her know she arrived safely at Clay Waller’s home and would return soon.  This was the last call she would make. 

Clay Waller lured her to his home for, what police now believe, was the sole purpose of killing her. When police interviewed Clay Waller, he claimed the couple got into a fight and Jacque stormed out of the house, on foot, around 4:00 pm. He told investigators that he left the home soon afterwards and when he returned, around 6:00 pm, Jacque’s car was gone from the driveway.  Jacque’s abandoned car was found the next day off I-55 (near Jackson/Fruitland, Missouri) disabled with a flat tire. According to law enforcement, the flat tire was staged and had been punctured with a sharp object.  Her laptop was still in the back seat and police subsequently took it into evidence, and later discovered Jacque’s journal on the computer containing dates and times of conversations and threats Clay Waller made against her life. 

On June 3, 2011, a judge signed the warrant to search Clay’s home and investigators uncovered important evidence.  Five days later, when they attempted to question Clay, he hired an attorney and refused to cooperate with the investigation. 

On July 29^th, 2011, police charged Waller with stealing and harassment. Clay Waller had accepted payment as a contractor in the amount of $55,000 for work never completed.  A judge set bail at $65,000 cash bond. (Waller’s arrest has nothing to do with Jacque disappearance) At the end of August he’s able to make bail and is released. He is arrested again, this time for Internet  against Jacque’s sister, this time facing Federal charges.

Within the first month of Jacque Waller’s disappearance there was very little media coverage about the case, locally or nationally. I spoke with her parents, Stan and Ruby Rawson, and they, along with Monica Caison from CUE Center for Missing Persons, appeared on my weekly radio show, Time’s Up.  We also  booked appearances on The Roth Show and Crime Wire exposing to listeners the abuse Jacque endured during her marriage.  Soon afterwards national media outlets picked up the story and the spotlight was finally turned on the case. Major searches for Jacque were planned in the coming weeks afterwards. 

The family registered the case with CUE Center for Missing persons in North Carolina, and the Scott County Missouri Search and Rescue K-9 Team, both non-profit organizations aiding families of the missing. They began to map out areas and began searching for Jacque.  According to searchers on the ground, during one of the large scale searches, Clay Waller drove by the 150 volunteers, honked his car horn, blew them kisses and flipped them his middle finger.

In September, 2011, another break in the missing mother’s case occurred when Clay Waller’s father related to police his son’s confession to him that he broke her neck during an argument. Waller’s father was ill and in a nursing home when the interview was conducted by law enforcement. Prosecutors were unable to obtain a video affidavit in time and Waller’s father died in the nursing home on December 20^th, 2011, taking his information to the grave.

The first holiday without Jacque proved difficult for the family.  The triplets, now six years old and living with Jacque’s sister, know their mom is gone and made a special Christmas wish for Jacque to be found so they can visit her and place flowers on her gravesite.

On January 3, 2012, Clay Waller received a five year sentence in federal prison for threatening the legal guardian of his children, and his wife’s sister, online. 

During the last of week of April I was invited to Cape Girardeau by the Scott County Search and Rescue K-9 Team for a series of events to train law enforcement and lecture, bringing them awareness about intimate partner homicide and to highlight Jacque’s case. Just days before my arrival in Missouri, Clay Waller was charged with first-degree murder, as well as tampering charges included by the prosecutor. If convicted, he may spend the rest of his life in jail.  Clay Waller appeared on the murder charges in court today, with another hearing date set for the end of July..

                                             Jacque's Parents Stan and Ruby Rawson

Jacque Waller was, in my opinion, a very brave woman.  To endure the hell of abuse on a daily basis, and then figure out a way to leave with her three kids is remarkable, something many women aren’t able to do before they are murdered.  But, she did.  What Jacque Waller also does was set the tone for her kids, and no matter what happened to her she conveyed to them, by her actions, as only a mother can, that they will be safe. 

This should be a wake-up call for anyone involved in an abusive relationship.  Before you announce the marriage or relationship is over, have a solid game plan. Prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video.  Follow the information in the book Time’s Up, and never, under any circumstances, agree to meet with the abuser alone.

 Document The Abuse Website

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases. She is the creator of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit.

The Burden of Expense Falls on Families of the Missing

By Glendene Grant, Jessie Foster's Mom

Editor's note:  This article is for those of the general public who think "this can't happen to me."  Life has a funny way of changing in the blink of an eye for a victim of any crime, but for a mother whose child is missing, whether that child is 5 or 50, life becomes a totally new reality.  Not only does a mother spend every waking hour searching, but the act of searching comes at a huge financial expense for families and communities, one that many can not afford.  There are no victim assistance funds set up for families of the missing, they must carry that burden alone, only with the support and aid of  missing persons organizations and private citizens who care and support their efforts.  It's too heavy for some.  Glendene Grant speaks not only for herself, but for the thousands of families with missing loved ones trying to get by in a bad economy with this added expense.  What would you do?


I urge you to leave comments with ideas of solutions.  Glendene Grant and those in her position have many supporters and those who pray for them, however, now they need concrete solutions, so if you are inclined to leave a comment for her, let it be something that also contains an idea on how to lift some of the financial burden so she and other families of the missing can figure out how to survive.

Most of you know that I am the mother of a missing woman. You know that Jessie Foster is an international endangered missing woman and the victim of human trafficking. But what you may not know is this . . .

Emotionally: we are completely spent – overdrawn, as you can imagine.

Spiritually: we are fortunate to have many people who are there for us, helping us stay strong.

Financially: we are drained . . . barely hanging on by the skin of our teeth and in some instances, we have lost our hold.

I would appreciate it so much, if somehow, the Canadian government could help us out with the costs involved with having a missing loved one for nearly 5 years - FOR NEARLY HALF A DECADE!! The income stops, (temporarily for some and permanently for others . . . who can work when this happens?) but the bills don't. The everyday bills keep piling up.

And then there are all the new bills – for private investigators; trips to meet with investigators or to identify bodies; money for paper and ink to make posters; hundred if not thousands of long-distance phone calls; you name it, we have to pay for it. It is very overwhelming.But who do I have to turn to? No one. Sadly, there is no one to help me. 


Thankfully we have done a lot of fundraising, but it is a lot to keep asking of my small community. We have done most of the fundraising here in Kamloops, BC, with a few in Calgary, AB and Edmonton, AB – there was even a yard sale in Surrey, BC back in the summer of 2006. It has certainly helped, but it is just not enough.

I have spent all my money and much of my time trying to find my own daughter and to prevent this from happening to others. I volunteer my time to go into high-schools with Crime Stoppers to educate the students about human trafficking. I do all I can to combat this horrific crime, and then I go home to no groceries in my home; rent not paid; BC Hydro, Teresan Gas, Shaw Cable & Internet and Telus threatening to shut off  my services (Telus did disconnect my long distance due to their own error – and without crediting me for this horrible inconvenience, so I finally got rid of them and I have got Shaw phone now). I have no credit cards, because I had no money to pay them and so now I also have to deal with my credit being in the toilet.

The list goes on and on, and until now, I have not sat around whining and complaining much about it, but I do feel that I have the right to sometimes, so I am letting it out now. I am tired of not being able to cook a decent meal or make some cookies because my grandchildren are coming over, or for the life of me - TO BUY MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDCHILDREN A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. I can't even do that at this time of my life. After years . . . after decades of working and providing for my family, I now cannot even provide for myself.

PLEASE, help me get some justice for Jessie and some help for me. I really can't keep on going like this, but I know I will. No matter what, I WILL FIND JESSIE, OR DIE TRYING.

Again, thank you all for your time and prayers, and remember, with Christmas coming, we have another hurdle to get over. Christmas 2005 was the last day that I ever laid my eyes on my daughter. Christmas is hard enough when you have a missing child, but with that day marking the ‘anniversary’ (for lack of a better word), sadly, it can be one of the worst days of the year. And without money to pay bills, there is certainly no money to celebrate the holiday.

I am putting my Christmas 2010 message to Jessie below.

Sincerely, Jessie’s mom Glendene Grant.

---

To my Jessie-Bessie:

2010 . . . another Christmas without you here. Five Christmases of not knowing but never forgetting. I will always remember my last sight of you, it was on Christmas Day 2005 – SIX CHRISTMASES AGO. You were going into the Kamloops airport and you flew away, to the fate that awaited you, a fate that no one knew or saw coming, except maybe you, my girl.

We think of you and talk about you every day – I even talk TO you almost every day. We all miss you so much, but your sisters miss you like only a sister can. Crystal needs her little sister back, she needs you to be there in her life again. And your little sisters are both mothers now. Katie has a little boy Jacobus James, or JJ, who is almost 2 and Jennee has two little girls, Maddison Louise, or Maddie, is almost 3 and Ilianna Joy, or Ili, is almost 1. They are the most wonderful, beautiful, joyful little children you could ever know. Your little sisters need their big sister Jessie to know their babies. Their babies know you, sweetie. They love you already, and we promise you, no matter what, they will know you as we do.

We all love you baby and we all need you back. And always know this, sweet daughter of mine, I WILL FIND YOU . . . OR DIE TRYING.I love you baby-girl, love Mom. xoxoxoxox

Who Really Cares About Missing Persons?

Everyone reads the headlines when a body is recovered or remains are found.  Like rubber necks at an accident scene, we want to know what happened and why in all the grisly details.  The media covers the scene, hovering around like bees to honey trying to get the inside scoop and be the first to report along with pictures and video.   A body is brought forth, identified and justice is served.  As if reality was that simple!

When it comes to missing persons, in most cases, headlines aren't screaming, the public gives a cursory look and then goes on to then next page.  The news is covered with the young, blond white girls from good families and the talk shows are brimming with family members eager to be a part of something that may give their loved one the exposure needed to remind us not to forget.  It looks like these missing persons are getting much deserved coverage, but what is reported is only the tip of the iceberg.

The general public has no clue of the scope of this global epidemic.  According to figures from the FBI, there are almost a million missing persons reported each year.  That number is growing year by year.  How does this happen?  How can that many people be unaccounted for?  Yes, many are teen runaways, many are just looking to start a new life, but many more are never found until it's too late.  Human trafficking and sex slavery is now coming into the forefront of the news as more and more young people and children are vanishing without a trace.

What's Going On In Chicago?

Recently the case of 12 year old Chicago girl, Jahmeshia Connor, who was found dead in an alley after being missing almost two weeks, has sparked a flame under Chicago media.  After facts of the case were brought to light by online writers, it seems the media is reporting one missing person after another from the Chicago area.  Is it a coincidence?  If it had not been for the watchful eyes of Susan Murphy Milano, and organizations like Peas in Their Pods, LostNMissing, Inc., Peace4 the Missing, Please Help Missing Children and others, Jahmeshia Connor and those that have followed may have been relegated to nothing but a report filed by the family.

Who has been searching for these girls?  Some of them have been missing quite some time, longer than would be expected, and some families did not file missing persons reports immediately, some probably following the advice of a police officer that told them to wait and see.  THERE IS NO WAIT AND SEE WHEN A PERSON IS MISSING!  The public's misconception is there is a mandatory waiting period, that is false.  All police departments are to take a missing persons report on the spot, with the facts stated by those who know the person and the circumstances of their disappearance best.  Time is always of the essence.

Myths and Legends

There is also a definite misconception in the way most parents view the nation wide Amber Alert.  Most think that if their child is missing all they do is dial 911 and it's issued.  That's another myth.  There are strict guidelines that must be followed and criteria that must be met before an Amber Alert is issued.  Many children do not qualify.  Many missing children fall through the cracks of the system and families are disappointed, rightly so.  This gap in the system has forced organizations like Peas In Their Pods to generate the "Rilya Alert" when a child is missing.  Regardless of age, sex, ethnicity, or circumstances, as long as a police report has been filed, a Rilya Alert will go out, indicating to a growing network to get the word out and find this child!

Cases of missing adults present an even more complicated set of predicaments.  The circumstances of an adult going missing varies more than child abductions or teen runaways.  An adult has the right to leave a family and start a new life, as unfair as this sounds, there is nothing a spouse or children can do about it according to the laws of the day.  This makes filing a report and expecting an investigation by authorities redundant.  In most cases a family member has to take on the task of investigating and tracking down their missing adult.

Yes, They Care


So who really cares about missing persons?  Fortunately for family members there are organizations like CUE Center for Missing Persons, Project Jason, 411 Gina, Track Missing, Texas Equusearch and others who devote time and resources to step in and search.  Searching for a missing person is only one facet of the tasks these organizations perform.  They work closely with the law enforcement agents in charge, they organize posters and awareness campaigns, they comfort and support the families, often at their own expense.  They train search and recovery teams, both human and animals, to perform the job of bringing a loved one back to the family that cares for them.

Even if we don't have a missing loved one, how long does it take to stop, take a harder look at a poster hanging in a store or on a telephone pole?  Everyone can do a small part in aiding these families by paying attention, look at a situation that isn't right, and do something to correct it.

Laws are being presented to Congress that will insure that missing persons cases will be handled in a more uniform manner.  By supporting the passage of The Help Find The Missing Act (HR3695 Billy's Law) we are showing our support for the families of missing loved ones.  We are also giving a name to the thousands of unidentified remains that are housed all over the country and reconnecting them with their families.

When a person goes missing there are so many victims.  A whole family, a whole community and a whole country are subjected to the fears, anxieties, and worries about a person who is gone.  Who really cares about a missing person?  Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, and many, many strangers who step up daily to help and support.

CUE Center's website says it best:  "Every missing person is somebody's child."