Monday, October 31, 2011

Why are people forcing themselves on Lisa Irwin's parents?

By Cynthia Caron

In working with families of missing loved ones, I can tell you that every family reacts differently and rarely are the dynamics so similar with the actual missing person case as well as the family who are seeking their loved one. I continually read about all the people who have experienced horrible trauma of children murdered or kidnapped, never to be found, who are showing up at the door of the Irwin family, uninvited and at strange hours. Why would they think they would be welcomed? Why is the public throwing stones because the family is not opening their door?

Tina Porter, while suffering a horrific loss of two children, due to the hands of her estranged husband, should never have showed up at the door of the Irwin's uninvited and certainly not at 10pm at night.

Why would the Irwins invite anyone in at 10 pm to sit with them?

Do people forget they have young children that are suffering too? Children who need assured that all is going to be well? That they too will be safe and not abducted? I'm sorry for the terrible loss Ms. Turner had with her children's lives taken, but the last thing the Irwins need is to sit and cry more at 10 pm with sleeping children to wake and see their parents in continued deep sorrow. Children experiencing this kind of trauma need as best as possible a calm environment and a structured setting to occupy themselves. They cannot have disruption in their lives at 10 pm and if every person who suffered the death of a child showed up at the Irwin's, it would be devastating for those kids...and their parents.

At the same time, the Irwins need hope, not the horror of learning what Ms. Turner's husband did to her children. My guess is if Elizabeth Smart or her parents show up at the Irwins they would be welcomed with wide arms. Or Jaycee Dugard & family. I am also pretty confident they would make an appt to meet in private and not at 10 pm at night.

I'm very sad to see that the media would go to such lengths as to continue to write such negatives of "the Irwins won't open their door" articles. That is not news. Bad enough the media is camped out on their front lawn. None of this is being supportive of the family who, by the way, have not been named suspects.

This poor family can't do right in the eyes of the public no matter what they do.

When they come out to talk, bloggers are posting they are seeking media attention for themselves...when they don't come out...they are hiding something. This is a classic 2011 witch hunt in which people are running a muck and quite honestly, no thanks to Casey Anthony who set these public thoughts in motion. My heart goes out to the Irwins.

People accusing the family of being guilty because they have a lawyer? A lawyer is always needed when someone is treated as a suspect and have no knowledge of the law or procedures. People need to STOP focusing on the parents and START looking for Lisa! Nobody in that family has been named a person of interest, nor a suspect and I think it is time for the PD to step up and say such publicly as everyone is going to stop looking for a living child if they do not.

Have we become so judgmental and have fallen for every media report as factual?

For those saying "the story keeps changing", we don’t know if mom told police about drinking at the onset, about buying wine, about going to bed after too many glasses? We don't know if the police told the family to "just stick to the facts as to when and how you discovered your baby missing and not what happened before?"Perhaps they told the family to keep that part quiet to avoid public scrutiny of the mom as opposed to having the public look for the child at the onset?

We don't know if they had her withhold that information as a tactic to “form a bond” with her…thinking all along she did something to Baby Lisa? We don't know if shetruly failed a lie detector test? That too may have been a tactic to force a possible confession. We really don't know for sure if a cadaver dog truly did have a hit on the carpeting at the foot of the bed? If so, why has that carpeting remained? Why not removed for DNA evidence?

There is a lot behind the scenes that the public, nor I, are not aware and it is very unfair for people to give up and become convinced that Lisa is deceased and to stop looking for her.

Once the family realized that police were accusing them, they panicked deeper, obviously from fear, from unknown territories and with wanting the police to please find their baby so they did two things: one, they bonded with a media outlet that promised to keep Lisa in the public view and hired a lawyer. Anyone else would have done the same thing.

Someone from the "exclusive media outlet" obviously showed up and was extremely sympathetic and more than likely promised they would keep Lisa's case ongoing with the hopes that she will be spotted and found...and the family agreed. Finally, they thought, someone who will physically help them look for their living child! So the family decides to confide all to the media...all that may have been told at the onset to the police. The wine, the "not sure" about the lights, etc. We, the public, just don't know. Perhaps the media's strategy is to release info little by little, of that day and night Lisa went missing, so as to keep the case "alive" and keep reeling the public in so that Lisa remains in the mainstream all with the hopes of recognition and finding her?

Right now this family is so “emotionally” abused by the public, in my opinion, and I can see how they are retracting into a shell and just sitting there in shock.

The public needs to start looking for a LIVING child that someone has ...who didn't have last month. I am totally convinced this baby was indeed abducted. If wrong, I like many, will be heartbroken and quite honestly...very surprised. Prayers for Lisa's safe return, and prayers for her family for strength in this awful nightmare...and for the public to look at their neighbors and see if they may have a child who could be Lisa, that they did not have prior to her disappearance.


Cynthia L. Caron


LostNMissing, Inc

Cell: 603-548-6548

Office: 603-965-4621

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