Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Silent Conspirator – When Subtle, Negative Thoughts Subconsciously Sabotage Your World.

Have you asked over and over again, “Why is it that I have done all the work and prepared everything in excellence (presentations, web sites, business cards), made contacts, taken marketing and sales courses, etc, etc., but nothing seems to be happening? Come on. Honestly. Is that dream, that desire you want so very badly delayed to the point you want to give it up?

It happens to many of us. We pray, mediate, create a vision board every three to six months but nothing manifests—nothing but what appears to be more bad news. There can be a few reasons for this. I’m going to mention a few but I want to give an in-depth explanation to only one today.

The Law of SubstitutionYou desire something to happen but that something is not yours. For example, you’re in a relationship and he or she doesn’t seem interested in taking the relationship to the next level. You’ve been dating a while, have a great time together but that’s as far as it goes. You will even ask someone to pray, agree, or set intention with you to no avail. Reason: He or she is not for you. The delay is allowing you to find the strength and the courage to break the relationship, in love and light, allowing the real love of your life to come in.

A Universal Demand Has Been Made – You desire something, it is in your purpose and destiny. You understand and realize this important fact and do all the internal and inspirational work to assist you in getting where you desire. You, therefore, stand in this position possibly asking someone to agree, declare, and set intention with you. Shortly afterward, it appears as if all hell is breaking loose. In actuality, everything is on target, on course and taking you right where you are supposed to be. You just have to persist through the appearance of hell.

And then we have what I call the The Silent Conspirator. You talk about it, you laugh with it at parties; you share it with your best friend. After a while, the Silent Conspirator takes up residence in the deepest depths. It takes on its own personality becoming your best friend, and with time, it becomes the plotter and schemer who hides behind the darkest, secret veil of your mind.

Let me ask you this. Have you ever said things like, “I don’t care if it kills me I’m not going to (fill in the blank)?” What about, “I love him/her/them to death.” Here’s one I bet you’re familiar with, “It, he, she or they make me sick!”

After a while, these little not-so-innocent clichés, repeated like prayer, become laws written upon the stones of your heart and mind. You might be thinking, “Well, I don’t say that kind of stuff often; or even, “I only think that stuff but I’d never, ever say them aloud.” I have news for you, it doesn’t matter. The very fact that you are familiar with these phrases probably means you have said them. And, if you have said them with any real emotion, you have given the statements the power needed to set them into motion.

I’ll share my Silent Conspirator. I was a corporate girl for many, many years—for too many years. I was of the generation it didn’t matter what the girl had her degree in, you were going to work as a teacher, a secretary or a nurse. My degree was in programming. After graduating, I proudly marched into the Human Resources office of a major computer technology company, no longer heard of these days. I filled out my application and they asked when I would like to schedule my typing test. I gave them a date without hesitation. I had myself and, more importantly, a small child to feed. I worked hard, in excellence and showed up every day until I landed a position at the top.

With that topness, a made-up word of course, I came to realize with the position came a new perspective. I became disillusioned, disappointed and disgruntled. My deepest desire was to get out. I quickly pursued a position with a Christian nonprofit only to find it was the same. The only difference was they did what they did in the name of Christ. So, I drew up the resignation letter once again. I was out.

I knew at that time, the only way I was going to be paid what I was really worth; be somewhat happy with working long and hard; and doing it the right way, I was going to have to start my own business. So, I struck out doing everything by the book. I took classes, I made contacts. Business cards, website and presentations were excellent. At first it worked, but soon everything and I mean everything began to dry up.

I reorganized, re-planned, and reinvented. I had S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) goals, a great business plan, and a strong marketing plan. I had one of the best business coaches, attended some of the best business conferences with the best financial gurus in the nation. I even had strong support. I couldn’t understand what had gone awry.

That was until one day when I threw up my wearied two hands and said, “I give up! I let go!” Now, how many times had I said that in the past and then picked up every single piece all over again. But, this time I had to truly let go. I had attempted to force, control, and hold on so tightly that every single resource was fighting back and drying up. At that point in time, I had a choice—freak out or trust.

I chose to trust.  And with that, the first thing I had to do was go inward and learn to love and trust me all over again. I had to realize that the power was inward and not outward and no one else’s responsibility but mine. I had to learn that I was at the end of the road and there was no other teacher but the teacher in me. I let go and promised that I was going to live the ultimate purpose— ENJOY life. 

Two weeks later, I awakened with an epiphany. That’s right I had a shift in my sleep. Once I announced to the Universe, whom I call God, that I was letting go and re-learned how to trust myself and the God in me, it was only a few days, with ease, that I Awakened. What was causing my delay, my stuckness was brought right into the forefront of my consciousness. No more little “demon” hiding, lurking, or sabotaging.

Here is exactly what I realized in that Awakening moment. I had spoken these destructive words far too many times. “I will never go back to corporate. I don’t care if I lose everything, I’m never going back. I’ll live on the streets before I do.”

Not only had I thought or spoken those words but I had spoken them with such conviction and emotion I had co-created law and destiny for my life. It didn’t matter what I did—I had become. So after my epiphany, I immediately asked the Divine within what affirmation could I create to repent—to turn around, to help eradicate what I had set in motion with fury.

Instantly, I heard in my heart that which would reverse my calamitous fate. “I keep all that I have and I receive all that I desire while my business blossoms, blooms and thrives.” I made a commitment to speak out loud, declaring my divine intention, at least, three times a day for one month. Shortly afterward, the Universe sent me a powerful teacher to remind me that God is a God of peace. Yes, He is many things but at the moment I needed the “I AM” of peace.

Going forward, I made the strong intention of not being rocked and rolled by what I saw or what I heard. My eyes were on the prize and I was pressing toward the goal. Did that mean creating longer To-Do lists, working longer hours or brain storming with my great support system? Not at all! It meant reaching out to others: encouraging, motivating; it meant being happy for and with them while creating powerful intentions on their behalf, as well as mine. And, when my heart heard write, I wrote. When it heard call, I called. And, when I heard sit in silence and take in the awesome beauty surrounding me in the Heavenly Rockies, I did just that—I sat in awe and listened.

From that moment on, I realized I didn’t have to make anything happen. All I had to do was BE and receive what Divine had already created for me. Once the Silent Conspirator had been snuffed out and exposed, I knew without a doubt— firmly and on a solid foundation that I had come to the end of life as I had known. The old chapter of life was closing. I was embarking upon the new. A life filled with the unfolding of every dream come true and where the desires of my heart were no longer a craving or a wish but a fulfilled reality that was orchestrated and designed before time.

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