With God Everything is Possible?

by Jillian Maas Backman

People are obsessed with answers. People are obsessed with serial killers. Some people even have an obsession with Spirituality. Link one unto the other and you have an eccentric smorgasbord of unanswered questions.

For some questions finite answers will come only after one departs from this planet. Questions like can people really be absolved from despicable human sins and still go to heaven if they go through a radical spiritual transformation? Is this even possible or are some people to evil to bounce back and repent?

Most of us are Ok living with the fact we probably will never receive a concrete answer to this question. Yet, for others who need closure for every question in the universe this is not an option. In their way of thinking all questions lead to circular logic and conclusive answers, including the mystery of human salvation.

On my radio program last week, Change Already, I introduced the May series; Serial Killer and Spirituality with my first guest, Criminology Professor and Author, Dr. Scott Bonn. We chatted about the seemly dark fascination many have towards this morbid subject. People want the inside scoop on what makes another human being lose touch with the outside world and justify with precision their warped narcissist rationale for killing another.

Dr. Bonn will be joining me on air again this week, Thursday, to discuss one case in particular, Son of Sam serial killer from the 70's now serving a life sentence without parole. Several weeks ago Dr. Bonn had the rare opportunity to sit face- to- face with this deviant and have a frank discussion about his past transgressions and his thoughts for the future. (See Scott Bonn's article on CBS Crimesider)  He describes in detail a spiritual incident that happened during his incarceration in the late 80’s that changed his perception of purpose forever. He believed he underwent a spontaneous religious awakening from the heavens that released his past, humbled his soul and accepted Jesus as his savior. In the Christian faith this is called being saved. From that day forward he banished his old label, Son of Sam and adapted a new one, Son of Hope.

Dr. Bonn's latest book scheduled to be released sometime next year; Monster Dearest: Our Macabre Fascination with Serial Killers,  will detail the entire conversation with this well- known criminal, including this supposed spiritual soul revival. Controversy has already started and the back talk among those who have heard and read excerpts from this forthcoming book have mixed feelings about his reported transformation. People are having a hard time buying into the fact that a man of such evil proportions could be eligible to receive such a sought after human prize, let alone deserve it. Apparently, from all accounts, he believes in his own spiritual rebirth and is ready to serve the rest of his life sharing God’s word and purpose.

Herein lies one of those unanswerable questions that simply defy rationality. How could someone of such low vibrational caliber be able receive such a highly regarded societal religious honor in the wake of all the pain he has caused others from his past? If one puts some thought into the question there might be a way this really could happen!

We have all heard of personal accounts of people having near death experiences or suffering tragic events such as auto accidents and come back a completely different person. As if one personality walked out during the crisis and another walked in. Like magic, soul transference, one soul going back home and another waiting in the wings to takes its place. Happens right under our noses without notice as in the case of “Son of Sam” as he recants the story to Dr Bonn. He simply had enough of his sick ways and dropped to his knees one day in his jail cell, asked spirit for human forgiveness and the grace of unconditional redemption. From all accounts, he acted like a new and improved faithful man spreading the word of hope to all who would listen. One could label this transference a spiritual death rather than a physical death. The body remains the same but the soul is renewed.

Dr. Bonn will be joining me on air to tell us his professional and analytical thoughts on the matter. Does he believe he is telling his truth of being re-born and does he believe in redemption for all?

I personally have no intentions of casting expersions one way or the other on this case of soul swapping for “Son of Hope.” The only hope I can add to this bizarre turn of events is that he makes good on his promise to help others who seek spirituality light rather than choose the dark path of evil.

Again, another unanswered mystery we will never completely know until we have made our own transition to the other side. Until then these controversial spiritual transformations will continue to happen and we as normal human beings will continue to probe through our critical thinking and ask how and why. Hopefully, make peace with the fact there is no need to understand but trust that our hearts will show us the difference.

Jillian Maas Backman, Author, Beyond The Pews, Breaking With Traditions and Letting Go Religious Lockdown and host of Change Already! broadcasting each Thursday at noon CT.  www.jillianmaasbackman.com

To read previous articles by Jillian Maas Backman CLICK HERE

The Art of Meditation

By Jillian Maas Backman

Life coaching and counselors alike emphasized the importance of devoting a portion of your day to quiet time. These insightful reflective moments are a way to release stress and help maintain a stable mental equilibrium. The practice of meditation is a perfect way to start.

Meditation dates back thousands of years and has ties to eastern philosophical thought. Spiritual processes that transcend cultural diversity and encourage all human beings to explore focused detachment and obtain lasting inner peace.

I am thrilled this ancient art has hit a mainstream cord with thousands of individuals who are seeking out how-to classes and attending group mediations with sincere passion. However, with every new trend comes a significant nuance that skews original translations and water-down the overall effects. This does not necessary qualify this trend as bad. It does however; create deviations from its original teachings, meant to create a calm inward environment for the mind, body and spirit to flourish.

There are some who cast a discouraging net over this holistic practice with an over active imagination and implied implications who suggest that one can escape into a world of trances without personal consent and render a person incoherent and powerless over his or her own human choices. Suggesting that delving into an esoteric altered state of consciousness where one looses all control is somewhat nonsensical. To assume a person can become that incoherent from sitting in quiet reflection is rather naive. Do not get me wrong here. There are times when you can experience a sense of boundlessness and escape to a world of quiet nothingness. However, I can honestly report from years of meditating I have never experienced anything the naysayers have to offer as a reasonable reason to refrain from this powerful exercise. In fact, I attribute much of my soul expansion to this daily practice.

I have been meditating on a daily basis for many years. Way before it was the “in- thing” to do. I consider meditation as one of my spiritual tools for sustaining my own wellness. As my life filled with beautiful gifts of family and career, I found myself being irritated by circumstances. Letting go of the little stuff was difficult and I waited until they were blown way out of proportion and became big stuff. It was becoming more difficult to separate my issues from everyone else’s and found myself heading down a road littered with human negativity and disappointment. This set me on a search for something that would create wholeness again.

We are bombarded with constant stimuli from the moment we wake to the moment we retire for the evening. It is virtually impossible to accidently create downtime with this action packed reality. Like exercise, one has to commit and schedule contemplative sessions every day.

Meditation can assist those who live in or with stressful situations and partners. It is a gentle way of tutoring yourself to detach mentally and emotionally from the worries around you. Like unraveling a tightly wound ball of twine one session at a time, it can help separate out issues you could not sense before and provide linear clarity to what is truly in front of you. It may not provide the exact answers one is searching to find. It can help isolate truths you need to examine by eliminating “background noise” from others, de-clutter the mind and regain control for the future. A clear head will prevail affording you the ability to connect with your own inner knowing and sense the right answers for yourself.

The Art of Meditation

When we think of meditating, the first mental picture that comes to mind is a thin structured person, legs crossed in front of them in the lotus position with palms together over the heart area. This image is synonymimous with what people perceive as the proper way of achieving Zen. Although this exercise is suitable for some, it is not necessarily suitable for everyone. There are dozens of ways people can achieve the same quiet results.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Not all meditative practices are done in the same manner. The ultimate goal is to be able to sit in comfortable position for extended periods relaxing and letting go of all the cares in the world. This is proven the most effective way the body, mind and soul can reach a state of complete energetic calm and tranquility. However, if you are an extrovert and attempt to begin your practice with this form of meditation in particular you may be setting yourself up for possible failure.

Extroverts, those of you that have to be in constant motion will be fighting a mind-chatter battle if you start with the common sitting position mentioned above. These kind of people love to exercise and be active most of the day. Calming down and sleeping at night can sometimes be a challenge. The traditional sitting position will leave you unfulfilled and you will probably give- up from boredom.

It would be to your best interest if you started with a “walking meditation” instead. When I say walking, I mean walking, not running. Walking infers a slow and methodical rhythm. This kind of rhythm will take you into a more serene tempo and begin to bring the energy level in your mind and body to a more subdued state.

Your next step is to eliminate the internal mind- chatter with the use of predetermined power words. Begin this process by asking yourself this internal question every time you prepare to walk. What power words or statements best describe the state for which I aspire to achieve? Spiritual clarity, calm, or patience. It may or may not change with each walk. I will share an example of my own power statement I have been using for several years now. “I am safe and at peace with who and what I am. I relinquish my ego to the highest truth.”

Once you have your power statement focused in your mind, it is time to start walking. Time your words with your steps. By doing this action in cadence, the mind noise will naturally fade away and emptiness will set it. You will be amazed how simple this happens without struggles. Walk as far as you need until you feel an inner sense of balance making its way back into your mind, body, and soul.

The more you repeat this exercise, the quicker you will hop into the meditative zone without effort. It will be entirely up to you if you want to move into the next stage of training yourself to sit or stay with walking. Either way you will succeed on finding that quiet universe within.

Introverts, those of you who prefer a less vigorous way of life and relish in a more cerebral existence. This kind of person can go to sleep easy and have some command over turning off the inner mind- chatter at will. Lucky!

You would be an awesome candidate for a more traditional way of meditating as I described above. Sit quietly undisturbed in an environment conducive for releasing stress after a busy day. Expect the mind chatter to peak when you first begin. This is your first clue that you are doing something correct! It is simple brain activity reacting to internal cues signaling it is time for conscious rest. Like any little child when you put them down to sleep, their first reaction is to resist. Let this spike run its natural course. If you attempt to fight against the word-filled stream of consciousness, it will only intensify. It will settle down after a few moments. Most people give up right at this point with frustration. Believe me, once you get through this common stage the world inside will open up in ways you cannot predict. The struggle is worth the pay-offs. There are years of experiential baggage built up and ready to be released. Relax and take it in stages.

Position yourself in a place where you can feel both emotional and physically safe. Close your eyes slowly. Make this action very deliberate to signal to yourself “I am going to mediate now.” Place your hands at your side or in a prayer position. After you master this casual method of meditating, you can search out more formal training on the proper way of practice. Leave those techniques for later when you become proficient and ready to step up your level of meditation. For now, do what feels right in the moment.

Again, have a power word, phrase or even sound prepared. Internally say the word to yourself with each inhale of your breath and exhale the energy that comes up from inside. Repeat this process until you feel yourself letting go of stress from the inside out. This will send out signals to the body’s internal mechanism to settle down. Sit as long as you can stand it. The first couple of attempts may be nothing more than mind purging. This is still incredible progress. If you are willing to stick with either meditative method over time you will reach spiritual bliss.

Lastly, the breath. This probably is the most crucial part of meditation, but not necessarily, in the way you think. The breath does bring down all body systems simultaneously. For most beginners, anxiety sets in the minute they sit down to do this exercise. The anticipation of doing it right overtakes their need for relaxation. Expect your heart to race with the excitement of your anticipated meditative experience. Deep breathing will force you through this initial reaction and into the meditative zone. It is exciting once you figure out how to get into that zone with a few simple breaths.

Try the breathing technique I have taught many. When you take a breath inward, the inhale, aim the breath towards the back of your head. Like a diagonal line beginning at the roof of your mouth and extending to the crown of your skull upward. On the exhale, imagine the breath releasing from the highest point on your head into the body downward covering the entire body with oxygen. Some of you may experience light-headedness. That is ok! I Repeat and let the energy move in and out with each breath. Eventually, nothingness will replace your conscious attempts at breathing. The more you can teach yourself this breathing technique the quicker you will enter into the quiet zone. Stay as long as you want. Your mind and body will signal you when it is time to come back into the real world. P.S. No need to hurry back.

There will always be a fine line between living in the world and living of the world. Living in the world is a life too consumed with minute dramas and no daily meditation. Thus, risking the chance of missing opportunities for growth. Living of the world is a life with meditation and being somewhat detached from the dramas around us. Granting one the possibility to see all options clearly from a neutral point of view.

Meditate with no expectations; it is the only way to see clearly the chosen way.

In loving gratitude,

Jillian Maas Backman, Author, Beyond The Pews, Breaking With Traditions and Letting Go Religious Lockdown.  www.jillianmaasbackman.com

Vibrational Clean Living

photo by Striker W@SP via Flickr

By Jillian Maas Backman

I deliberately keep a close watch on the latest news making headlines. It is my responsibility to stay current with relevant social issues. Once again, this week we find ourselves grappling with the disheartening truth of loosing another sweet child to the harsh reality of school-house bullying. Fourteen-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide because of alleged years of childhood harassment. He simply could not handle the pressure anymore and let go of life instead. This spiritual lesson will continue to repeat itself until we decide to make this a priority for change.

Lady Gaga and many others are calling upon our President to start a process to create an Anti-Bullying Law against those who perpetrate such heinous acts towards others. This is a good start, but the issue is more intricate than that. It is not enough to tell someone to stop saying bad things to other people. You must go after the root supplying the food to the infested weed. Attack the source that carries the vibrational energy hidden within the dysfunctional soil of intolerance and hatred. We need a vibrational shake-up and re-set our spiritual balance.

The word “vibration” is usually associated with a scientific method of describing sound waves frequencies. These kind of physical calculations are extremely important in measuring all kinds of vibrations and keeping a watchful eye out for anything that may threaten the balance of our planet. Physical anomalies such as earthquakes and other natural disasters upset the natural vibrational rhythms and cause permanent vibrational gaps. When this happens, we usually make physical adjustments to accommodate the shifts and settle into a new configuration of balance.

We know that earthquakes do not happen instantaneously. They are a gradual build-up of pressure plates moving within the inner core of earth. Eventually reaching the surface where it explodes with vengeance. Taking out whatever is in its natural wake with complete disregard.

The human body works much like the earth vibrational system. It too, operates on a natural internal frequency, which strives to stay in a state of balanced harmony. Whether we know it or not, our unconscious mind is registering vibrational motion all day long. This constant kind of stimuli has a lasting effect on the delicate balance between desirable and undesirable vibration in the human body. If you have to live with the constant bombardment of negative stimulus, eventually your vibration will only register the negative. At some point this will become your normal state of existence. This is where the bully mentality starts taking over.

It represents the “pressure stage “of a vibrational eruption.

Think of someone around you that gets angry. The first sign of vibrational pressure building up inside is the physical act of pacing back and forth. Their facial expression begins to contort. Straining to hold back the dysfunctional energy from busting through. Our body structure is designed to get rid of this sick emotional vomit any way it can. The mind begins to heat up with aggressive thoughts laden with bouts of hatred energy. It is an unstoppable energy train waiting to explode at any second. You cannot reason with a mind filled with vibrational hatred. Talking it out with someone like this will temporary put a stop to the underlying relentless negative attitude. Except the pathetic mind chatter will override any positive antidotes you attempt to throw at it and fight its way back to unhealthy normal.

The re-occurring bullying episodes should serve as a societal signal that we have reached the plateau of the “pressure stage” before the explosion.

The task of stopping this kind of hate crimes seems insurmountable but I offer this simple exercise to demonstrate how easy it is to get closure to this spiritual lesson before us.

Vibration is a very subjective awareness and somewhat of a feat to teach others on how it reacts inside the body structure. So, allow me abit of creative freedom here from the literal scientific definition. Stretch your scientific imagination and assume the next exercise will demonstrate how quickly friction/ie, vibration can change with your actions.

Put your hands out in front of you, palms together. Now rub them together as fast as you can. You should begin to feel the friction build between them and a sense of heat arise the faster you go. In a very loose interruption of physics, this is how quickly vibration can rise from an external action. Notice how soon after you started rubbing your hands together the balance was thrown off and heat came to the surface. It takes that little of effort to offset human vibrational equilibrium. That is somewhat un-nerving when you think about all the external stimuli we have coming at us every day. The more you live in a malfunctioning body system the more the vibration adapts the heat, the friction, the anger.

Now, stop and pull them apart. Can you feel the sense of coolness replacing the sensation of heat on your palms? Notice how quickly the energy stabilized back to normal without any effort on your part other than stopping the action of rubbing. This demonstrates how simple it truly is to re-set a person’s vibration if you take the time to identify your vibrational tools that get you back to balance.

Where do we start to rebuild our vibrational changes.

Hierarchy of Vibration:

For the sake of argument, let us assume everything carries some kind of vibrational value starting from very low to very high. I mean everything! Every person, place or thing carries some kind of vibrational energy tone. Collectively, these items have determined your vibrational stability.

If you are surrounding yourself with lower vibrational activities and people your balance point will stay low.

If you are surrounding yourself with higher vibrational activities and people your balance point will stay high.

Now, look at your significant people around you. How does that compare with your vibrational status? If you find yourself doing activities and mingling with people less than what your perceived vibrational value is you will be pulled down to that level. It is as if two magnets that dysfunctional attract.

We do not have the power to stop people from engaging in the lower vibrational act of bullying. These thoughts and actions are way down on the vibrational scale of relevance. Like the old adage says: Do not stoop to their level. In this case, don’t stoop to their vibrational level either. That is the worst thing anyone can do. Each one of use do however possess the power to go the opposite direction…………………….way way way up.

If each one of us dedicate ourselves to doing this and teaching our loved ones to do the same, we can change the vibration and energy around all involved.

We must minimize undesirable vibrations thoughts, feelings and actions and increase desirable vibrations.

The more we all take up the challenge of “Vibrational Clean Living,” the easier this kind of work will become. This always start with our vocabulary. The way we speak to one another. How we use words to build people up rather than tearing down is the first step.

Our vocabulary is constantly being word-smithed to keep up with changing times we live in. I believe this should continue to be our first plan of action in raising community conscious vibrational energy. Words have always been and will always be our most gracious, free and simple way to choke out the life force vibration associated with words laden with venom and intent to inflict harm towards others.

I will give you an example. In my book I write about the word “tolerance.” Years ago I suppose this word represented how the majority of people felt towards those who were different from themselves. This word is now archaic and obsolete. For those of us who strive for greater spiritual health feel the word tolerance implies there is something wrong with those who do not live as we do. We, as gracious spiritualist will overlook your impurities and still find it in our hearts to tolerate your ideology. Those days are long gone, thank goodness.

I was addressing a large college student body about this very issue. I began to recite my written words to the crowd before me. The silence that overtook those students in the auditorium was almost too much for me to handle. You could hear a pin drop and all attentions were directed towards the stage. The all-inclusive vibration was an intense and serious buzzing undertone. No one moving and waiting in anticipation for the next word that would bring the whole lesson full circle. Then I read the rest of the story and concluded with the word “Acceptance.” The students broke out into a sigh of relief and collective said yes to the challenge. They are ready to break the chain of vibrational assaults on those different from themselves, are you? Ready to replace the old worn out lower vibrational word of tolerance with a spiritually higher vibrational word of Acceptance for all.

Sending vibrational change your way,

Jillian Maas Backman, Author, Beyond The Pews, Breaking with Tradition and Letting Go of Religious Lockdown

I Will Never Do That Again, Part Two

By Jillian Maas Backman

This blog post is part two of a series I began last month entitled: I will never do that again! It is never easy to let go of significant relationships of any kind. It becomes even more intense if it is embroiled in abusive behavior. There are layers of complexity that come along when severing this tortured existence. The good news is can be done and should be done right away!

I am always on the lookout for things that spur my inspirational internal muse for writing. Even though this subject matter is very heavy, I found a key when watching a random reality-based cooking competition on television. The culinary chefs were instructed to de-construct familiar conventional recipes and transform these classics into a rejuvenated contemporary counterpart. I am going to “borrow” this cooking term and apply it to this discussion on relationships.

RELATIONSHIP DE-CONSTRUCTION

You must break down people pairings into the most intimate details in order to re-construct a mutually exclusive loving energy exchange.

To accomplish this goal I deliberately started this series with the sole focus on relationships first before addressing the individual. Conventional wisdom would tell you otherwise. Learn to love yourself first before venturing out to love others. When you are analyzing relationships from an energetic perspective I have found people have an easier time “sensing” others energy before their own. The first diagram represents a healthy energetic relationship we all secretly desire for ourselves.

More often than not, however, the majority of people end up a relationship closer to this unhealthy and unbalanced configuration.

The first diagram represents a healthy energetic relationship we all secretly desire for ourselves.
 

More often than not, however, the majority of people end up a relationship closer to this unhealthy and unbalanced configuration.

 
They become consumed in finding the holy grail of relationships. They eat, sleep, and dream of falling in love with one special person forever. Ultimately, spending more time chasing the quest of falling in love with another instead of spending this valuable time falling in love with themselves. Somehow, vicariously assuming if they center their love intentions on someone else, by default, will also fall energetically love within. In the end, settling for less than what they deserve out of love.

The Chemistry of Love

What is the initial statement most people report when they are falling in love with someone else? “I feel different when I am with them. We have good chemistry together, like we have known each other forever!” They have falling into “kinetic touch” with other’s energy before knowing their own sensations of love.

How many of us can turn that same statement around and apply that love chemistry to ourselves. “I feel differently when I am with myself, like I have known myself forever!” Can you identify or feel your own kinetic energy within?

In part one of this series I requested you to spend the last thirty days observing the energetic relationships you have in your life right now. This is a crucial starting point if you are willing to heal your own energy field and stop the vicious cycle of repeating negative relationships. You need to know what you are energetically putting out there and what others perceive on your behalf.

Close your eyes and feel your own energy around you. For many of you this will be your first time ever, so cut yourself a break. Take mental notes of any sensations coming to the forefront of your mind. Please do not worry if you do not feel anything at first. The energy force in the body runs vertical, up and down. Unhealthy relationships are usually stuck in a temporary condition I label “Energetic flat-lining.” This occurs when someone gives so much energy away to others their energy begins to run horizontally rather than the normal vertical flow through the body. Their energy is a jumbled- up mess with other sick and unhealthy people. You cannot sense or feel where your energy begins and ends with anyone around you. Creating a complete dis-connect to individual vertical energy. The more you live in the state the more energy pieces are given away and result in unhealthy, unbalanced energy circles.

Notice the energetic gaps and chunks missing out of the enclosed circle. If you relate to this picture, your first order of business is to STOP what you are doing and take a self-imposed time- out for yourself to heal before jumping back into another serious relationship. If you continue to operate with this kind of broken energetic pattern in place you will surely open yourself wide open to repeat your past regrets. As demonstrated in this diagram every lingering piece of unhealthy exchanges nibbles away at the invisible shield around all of us. Over time it will function in the world at half-life status. Meaning, this incomplete energy structure will begin to “feel” normal to you and everyone else. Other incomplete and unbalanced energetic people will seek you out like a moth to a flame. You are sending out energetic red flares to the world to come find you. Rest assured, they will!

It is not fair that we feel obligated to give energetic pieces of ourselves away so others can feel complete in their inner circle. If one continues this sad pattern for too long energetic fatigue will eventually set in. Like a boat with thousands of wormholes in the hull, only a matter of time before it sinks with exhaustion.


Relationship Re-Construction

Decide to change your configuration with exaggerated intention. I am mad as hell and not going to take this kind of stuff from anyone anymore!

Step One: STOP the energetic depletion.

You cannot control the obsession from others to tap in and drain your energy, but you can control how much you let someone take from you.

Healthy relationships never drain energy from each other; they bestow energy upon each other.


Step Two: Retrieve your pieces back from the ones that stole them!

I understand this is a harsh statement coming from me. My words are usually encased with calm quiet underlying recommendations. In this case, however, strong statements are needed to convey the severity of this kind of dangerous energetic existence. If you live your life with an open sick shell in this world you will get hurt again.

In theory no one can really steal your energy pieces from you without your permission. The problem is most people are unaware this is happening. Forgive yourself and complete this exercise instead of dwelling on the pre-existing open energetic wounds.

Find a quiet spot where you can be alone for a while. Sit or lie and get into a meditative state of a calm mind, body and soul. Once you reached your energy equilibrium, it is time to go to work. You are going to relinquish as much anger, resentment, pain and sorrow as you can muster up into the atmosphere. These are the wormholes in the bottom of your etheric boat. Scream it out if you have to. Pound on the floor with your closed fists as many times as it takes. Wiggle your body if that helps release the pinned up emotional energy. Do whatever it takes to let go of this destructive energy. Note: please refrain from hurting yourself physically during this exercise. Always pick an environment you know you are emotionally and physically safe to do so. Repeat as often as you need until you feel completely empty.

Next, visualize your energy circle as completely enclosed without any gaps or energy chunks missing from the structure. Pick a color if that helps with the process. Like a well-designed personal energy coat-of-arms, impenetrable by one no ever again without your consent.

There may be a sense of loss after you complete this exercise. In reality, to some extent it does echo the same feelings one can have after a loss of a loved one. It is always hard to let go of someone out of your life. When you let go of the energetic pieces you shared together in the past it will feel uncomfortable for a while. Their energy will no longer be in your energetic circle, but the memories will remain. Just because the dysfunctional remnants have been cleared away does not de-value the good times from the past. Remember, the original goal of this exercise was to replace all the missing energy pieces and become energetically whole once again.

Break the Cycle and ask the Universe for Help

As you grow in the complete circle, you will become very comfortable with your own essence of energy. In fact, you will become quite attached to the feelings of being in the center of your love attention and enjoy your own respective place. Be very selective going forward with your exchange of energy. Understand each relationship should support a healthy and balanced energy exchange. Each sphere holds the energy of only one human being at a time, and that should always be YOU!

Relationships will come and go, but your Soul will always remain the same.

In love and respect, Jillian Maas Backman

Author, Beyond the Pews: Breaking With Tradition and Letting Go of Religious Lockdown (August, 2011)  www.jillianmaasbackman.com

Irrigate the Open Wound, Toxic Labeling

By Jillian Maas Backman

Like the rest of America, I am discouraged over the recent suicide of the young college boy, Tyler Clementi, of Reuckers University. The latest victim in an (alleged) secretly recorded cyber broadcast engaged in a gay encounter. The primary focus and media attention has been pinpointing bullying as the underlying culprit. I want to shift the focus to a more insidious cultural epidemic. I am beyond anger and outrage over the latest incident of labeling indignation. My soul is in complete surrender to the heartbreak of another child lost to the useless abyss of irrational rationalities. For crying out loud, what is left to say that has not already been written or spoken millions of times at the top of our exhausted lungs that can permeate and breakdown the harsh reality of prejudice?? We must all survive the drudgery of hearing the predictable banter of practicing more tolerance and compassion towards our difference. Our issue is much much larger than words. We have a people problem. We are wasting precious time with labels meant to deliberately separate us further apart. At some point in time, it will be too late to repair the labeling voids between us.

Labeling is an unavoidable cerebral task we can never escape. Our brain naturally categorizes all information that crosses its path. This is both a blessing and a curse. We unequivocally depend on our self-generated cognitive systems to keep an efficient handle on our chaotic Maya. The key word here is self-generated. Our labeling systems are dominated by what we key in. If not mindfully managed, there is the potential for abuse. We haphazardly break down social networks into labels because it is mindless. We pigeonhole people into categories of yes’s and no’s, like some crazy person with a labeling machine running around labeling everything in sight without rhyme or reason just because he/she can. We have total disregard for the consequences of mislabeling and the power to determine the rightness of one labeled group over another. Leaving all of us one-step away from the vicious nature of judgment. We have all fallen prey to this is self-serving habit at some point. Rendering a society of surface dwellers. Lives are at peril because we have become too lazy to explore each other from a soulful level rather than a surface level. This kind of laziness is stalling out our hearts. Many of you are quite happy with that reality. It takes effort to nurture energy between people, based in goodness or darkness. That contrast lies solely in your hands every time you reach out to know someone.

The good news: We are reversing this toxic behavior of cultural labeling. 

Let us use this latest gut-wrenching episode to finally spark something in our core. Let’s literally shove this issue to the forefront of our existence.

It is time for us to implement a moral to- do list. 

We have the capability at any point in time to reach back into our cognitive brain and re-assign information at will. This can be done! I personally have witnessed someone who had toxic preconceived ideas about a certain group of individuals. Through determination and exposure to those he naively mislabeled as “bad” in his mind, he now has come to an enlightened place of acceptance.

Have we become a society of mixed messages and contradictions? 

I constantly hear the phrase “I don’t care what people say.” I get that it is an internal mechanism we have in order to take what others say about us personally. The table should be turned. The time has come for us to care about what we are really saying to each other. Whether that communication is through texting, telephone conversations or virtual, personal responsibility, filtering, and presentation must be employed immediately.

Yet every literary script supports this timeless belief that we are all unique in a special way. I ascribe to this authenticity. Radio is a perfect medium outlet that satisfies one of my favorite pastimes- listening. I have the esteemed privilege of listening and vicariously living through my guests who share their incredible American stories. I lose myself in their diverse recitation of cultural history. Their stories become a part my story. Lines of segregating labels transpose themselves into blurred images in my uncensored melting pot of memory. Therefore, those who want to use our diversity as weapons of emotional destruction dumbfound me. What good can it do to continuously beat up people over our differences and complexities? We have to stop living in the artificial vacuum of dualities. We cannot continue to encourage everyone to live in their authenticity, and not allow others the same common courtesy. Trust me when I say, I take great pleasure in being my unconventional quirky self! I simply cannot imagine a place where we all think the same, dress the same, look the same… Boring! Please invest more care and interest, with me, on what the public is saying about others. More importantly, please take care of what you are saying out in the world.

I will leave you with a passage from my forthcoming book, “Beyond The Pews.” Blessed with the opportunity to sit with one of my spiritual mentors, Swami Mohan Das, he granted me the privilege of asking any questions I had of him. In his opinion, what is the greatest challenge we face today? His response:

“Hatred is like pus in a boil. Many are filled with this pus of hatred. They hold onto their hatred for selfish reasons, to deliberately keep themselves separate from others. We must drain this before we can move forward.” Swami Mohan Das, Delhi, India

Our words and actions only serve as temporary bandages over an open wound that oozes out a putrid stench named hatred of the sickest kind. This kind of unfortunate events will continue to plague our children, siblings, partners, and neighbors until we irrigate every germ of resistance to love- based infrastructures. We are in the midst of draining our pungent pus in a public forum. As you all know, this is always the hardest part- the- middle, the goal of building a more civilized communities. The majority of us prefer to do this kind of detoxification behind closed doors. We have passed the point of public humiliation as a deterrent for violent behavior towards others. We find ourselves at the ugly stage of deconstruction. It is not pretty to watch, but there are many lives at stake if we choose to withdraw because of dark forces. If we continue to feed off the dissected groupings we have unconsciously designed, the pus will re-infest itself as long as we stand on the sidelines and watch it build up again. Ravaged sores break through and take another child’s life in the name of vicious name calling, bullying and threatening labels.

Let us all stay steadfast to draining the filth out of this sickening disease known as hatred. Until, we reach the other side of reconstruction, commonly known as LOVE.

In grace, Jillian Maas Backman