Prenatal Child Abuse

by Gaetane Borders

As a child advocate, I normally write and talk about child abuse that happens postnatally. However, today’s blog post is a bit different because it will focus on prenatal abuse. The idea came to me after running across two different recent research studies about pregnancy and the affects of drug and alcohol use during gestation.

We all know that pregnancy can be really stressful with all the changes your body goes through, and with the constant worrying that the baby will be healthy. So why not take some of the edge off with a few glasses of wine. Heck…it could help dull the back pain you get in the latter months. Sounds crazy you say! Not according to a group of researchers.

In a recent study, they found that "Light drinking is fine, but heavy and binge drinking should be avoided." (Note to self….avoid binge drinking when pregnant. Oh yeah...and any other time!!!) Reports indicate that “pregnant women who drank one or two units of alcohol a week didn't harm their children. The scientific proof is that by age 5, children who were part of the study were still doing well -- able to walk straight lines and touch their noses with the tips of their fingers.” I can’t make this stuff up if I tried (sigh). Listen up people (said in my best School Psychologist voice), I encourage you to set the bar higher for your children. Sure, the kids in the research study were able to touch their noses and walk a straight line…but could they read and comprehend….recite the alphabet…..hmmmmm or ……speak coherently? I’m just saying...

Another research study about the post-natal effects of Methamphetamine (a.k.a Crystal Meth) has been discussed recently. Crystal Meth is a stimulant drug that wreaks havoc on the nervous system, causing brain changes that could cause anxiety, mood problems, and violent behavior. Researchers found that pregnant moms who use meth can also pass some of these behavioral problems onto their kids. Here’s my question….Did anyone ever doubt that there would be repercussions from using meth whether pregnant or not?

I consider the use of drugs and alcohol during pregnancy to be a form of child abuse because it harms children physically and intellectually. In fact, it can limit their potential even before they enter the world. Low birth weight, premature delivery, birth defects, learning difficulties, and infant withdrawal symptoms are just some of the problems that can happen.

So ladies, please put down the wine glass. The nine months will fly by before you know it. Though you may crave a nice glass of Châteauneuf du Pape, resist that temptation until after the baby is born. Moreover, any illicit drug use is undoubtedly going to affect your unborn child. Trust me…I work everyday with kids whose moms did not heed this counsel, and for those kids being able to touch their noses would, indeed, be a milestone. You might hear contradictory arguments about this issue. Some will swear that a glass here and there is nothing to get worked up about. But would you really want to chance it? Not this mom!

However, there is help out there if you are someone who struggles with drug and/or alcohol dependence. Please consult any of the resources below, or contact your healthcare provider for guidance.

American Pregnancy Helpline (866) 942-6466

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (800) 622-2255

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator (800) 662-4357 

Gaétane F. Borders is President of Peas In Their Pods, an organization that helps to spread awareness about missing children of color. She has dedicated her life to helping families and children, and is a noted child advocate. Gaétane often lends her expertise to various media outlets such as CBS, CNN, and FOX. In addition, she frequently contributes to magazines and newspapers.

Related articles

• 'Meth babies' at risk for behaviour problems: study (ctv.ca)
• Meth use in pregnancy linked to kids' behaviour problems (cbc.ca)
• Mom's meth use during pregnancy causes kids' behavioral problems (cbsnews.com)
• Study finds 'meth babies' have behavior problems - msnbc.com (today.msnbc.msn.com)

The Predictability of Pathology

By Sandra L. Brown

Over and over again women say "You are describing my relationship EXACTLY"
or "He has said those exact words to me!" Or "how do you know what my relationship
is like--how can you know this?" Contrary to some beliefs, I'm NOT psychic!

I accurately describe people's relationships because to a certain extent, parts of
pathology and their behavior is predictable. In the last blog, I listed a check list of their
frequent behaviors. Pathology is related to certain personality disorders and each one of these personality disorders has it's own set of behaviors and dysfunctions. To know the personality disorder is to know the behavior--either now or in the future. This is why Public Psychopathy Education is information for everyone because anyone can learn to predict, to a certain extent, the kinds of behaviors that are likely from the pathological in their life.

Each personality disorder has it's own set of behaviors and additionally, pathology
is related to:

a. The inability to sustain postive change
b. The inability to grow to any authentic emotional or spiritual depth
c. The inability to develop deep insight about their negative behavior and how it affects others

So once you understand the behaviors related to the personality disorder then you
apply the 'Absolutes of Pathology' -- the inability to change, grow, or develop insight
and you can pretty much take his behavior now and apply it to the future in ANY
relationship. His behaviors related to his specific personality disorder are permanent.
If someone can not grow or change then his behaviors aren't going to change. If his
behaviors aren't going to change he will be the same today as he was 10 years ago in
a relationship and will be the same 20 years from now. If he doesn't have the ability
to develop insight about his behavior then I can pretty much tell you what it's like
to communicate with someone who can't 'see' his own faults.

Our goal in Public Psychopathy Education is for others to understand that you TOO
can learn to loosely predict pathological behavior based on past or current behavior. Once
you understand the symptoms of the personality disorder you can expect these behaviors
to continue.  The more you understand the Absolutes of Pathology the more clearly you
can understand what his future is likely to hold for himself and others in his life. It isn't
hard to predict something that doesn't change!

The exception to that rule is when violence is or has been involved. Pathologicals
with violence issues can be erratic and unstable. Predicting their ability to be currently
'non-violent based' on past non-violent episodes is too risky and he may not follow the
patterns he normally follows. For people with impulse control problems that are linked
to pathology/personality disorders then you have to assume there is always the risk of
violence.

Additionally, pathologicals who are addicts are hard to predict because of the instability of the person in an addiction. Addictions are realted to higher levels of violence. With violence, sexual offenses or addiction the rule of thumb is that the predicitbility factor is likely to be too risky to judge. When in doubt--doubt his predictability in violence, addiction or sexual offenses.

Otherwise, pathology is fairly easy to call. When someone doesn't change, the best
predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you're wondering what your pathological
was like in the relationship before you or will be like in the one after you, just gauge
everything from where he is today. It's that simple and that sad.

www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com