by Lavinia Masters
I am a subscriber of the Cause, Society Against Child Abuse and every so often I get an email that further enlightens me about the devastating acts of sexual abuse against our children or interesting facts or breaking news of childhood sexual abuse in our society. I normally read through the emails and find myself not really moved by the requests to view, share or add comments to the site as I am convinced that my perspective is the same as everyone else’s and who really cares about my comments anyway.
I know it may be a poor attitude to take especially with me being an advocate against childhood sexual abuse or any sexual violence for that matter but I feel that I could take that same energy and really try to make a positive impact in some victim’s life that has been interrupted by sexual violence. However, today was different as I opened my email that I received from this Cause and it read, “The Jerry Sandusky Verdict: What Have We Learned?” I was like wow, what have we learned from this verdict…what did we take away from this entire ordeal as a society?
Well, I decided I was not going to even open the email as I did not want my personal thoughts or feelings to be altered or influenced by the contributing writer as I knew then that I was to suppose to seize the moment and ask the world exactly what did we learn from this verdict? What did we as a society walk away with as we watched this saga unfold? What hidden lessons were so openly revealed as we watched in anticipation the fate of Jerry Sandusky? I am sure the writer and I share many of the same thoughts maybe even see the same lessons but just in case you do not subscribe to the Cause emails please allow me to enlighten you on one of the most important and valuable lesson that you should have learned from the Sandusky Verdict.
First and one of the most important lessons that you should have taken from all this was that all monsters are not hideous in appearance. Evil does wear many disguises and unfortunately these types of monsters come in the form of those that you know and trust. These monsters are helped created by you as you allow your children to spend more time with this individual than yourself. They share more time with your children in school, extracurricular activities, in their homes and doing all the “fun” things that you don’t have time to do with your child. You allow this person to become your child’s best friend, “adoptive” parent, confidant and then their “secret sharer” and because it appears that you have neglected your own child this monster takes on full form and convinces your child that you are indeed the enemy and they are the friend. They saw the opportunity…they seized the moment and now they preyed upon the weak and unsuspecting.
Although there are monsters that lurk in alleys and dark places waiting on its next victim, unfortunately there are those monsters that not only groom our children to be their next victim, but we as a society also help groom them to become the next monster. We do this by not paying attention to the warning signs that our children clearly display in their presence or how their attitudes or demeanor may have changed. We use to regard our children as our treasure here on earth and would keep them safe and sound locked up in our cute little treasure chest but now we have gotten so busy and so quick to pass our responsibilities off to those that we know and trust that we have literally given them the keys to the chest, and with everyone else having full access to our treasures how are we suppose to effectively guard and protect it? Those things that we deem valuable we should protect at all cost, and I am not saying that we should live in a state of paranoia around those that we trust and love but, I am saying that we should live in a state of awareness around everyone.
I am convinced that when a monster has taken on its full form that it has also acquired an insatiable hunger for the things that has caused it to become a monster and it will not stop until that hunger is fed because unfortunately it will never be satisfied…so just like all other monsters in horror movies…they must be destroyed. When a monster has taken on its full form it does not care who it hurts or the consequences of its destruction. Its hideousness is not seen by the naked eye but is seen in its actions, its victim’s pain and the aftermath of its terror.
I know many may say, but Sandusky was a good man that has done many wonderful things for underprivileged youth in his lifetime… well thank goodness I am not God because I’m not condemning him as a man, but I am condemning his hideous acts and I am seeking to torch the monster that helped destroy so many young men lives. This monster has to be stopped and thank goodness society felt the same way as they delivered a verdict that not only exposed the monster for whom he really was, but gave each victim some sort of relief in knowing that this monster is no longer on the streets terrorizing other unsuspecting and innocent young men.
So now that I have given you my perspective on this verdict and the saga behind the Sandusky drama…tell me… what did YOU learn?
Lavinia Masters is the Founder of S.A.V.E Ministry, a survivor of childhood sexual assault, a speaker for RAINN, and a faithful advocate. She has appeared on all major news network shows, has been instrumental in passing legislation in Texas, and is the author of "Breathe Again." SaveMinistry.Org
Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYes, one thing I never understood as a child is how my parents did not notice my change in body language,turning pale, my hiding, leaving the room when the amazing looking monster came to visit.
I asked myself over and over for years why do they not see?
However, on informing my mother, I got the dish cloth across the face and the threat to wash my mouth out with soap.
So I shut up and created my own ways of escaping him, which I did.
We are so conditioned to see the child rapist as an ugly looking monster, when we do know now that psychopaths are charmers who do whatever it takes to get what they want and they tend to be the child rapists, the domestic terrorists.
"Why it is that our culture tolerates the rape, torture and even murder of children by so easily forgiving those responsible – especially when they occupy positions of “authority "
children are expendable.
"Kevin Annett.
http://kevinannett.com/2012/06/29/torture-by-any-other-name-how-the-abomination-continues/
Hi Lavinia! Your words are so very true.... We all see what we want to see. However, as survivors of crime and service providers. However, I would hope WE as a group would be more discerning... The most riveting point is that monsters indeed do come in many forms, shapes and sizes,well dressed, wearing a sports uniform or whatever...they all come from evil!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Your friend from CT
Donna "Ladyjustice"
Often, most often statistically, Daddy is the monster.I don't think we learn this from the Sandusky mess.Kevin- yes.
ReplyDeleteLavinia, thanks for your courage and honesty. I was especially impressed when you mentioned that evil disguises itself. If evil didn't look so attractive, people would not be as attracted to it, nor would people be so easily deceived by it.
ReplyDelete