tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post4816917815211259238..comments2024-03-19T02:43:07.969-04:00Comments on "Time's Up!": Lies of the Fathers (Rights Groups)Time's Uphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09908111385466002389noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-28250603118706991762016-10-21T03:07:12.987-04:002016-10-21T03:07:12.987-04:00It happened to me too. My ex got the temporary ord...It happened to me too. My ex got the temporary order of protection against him dropped and then took me to court to pay for his legal fees and won. The judge punished me for protecting my children by not immediately handing over the children to their abuser. The police made the decision for him to get a court order to take the children. I haven't seem my children in over 2 month now and they are already estranged from me just speaking to the oldest on the phone. I feel like the ex has taken my children as ransom and has stripped me of everything--no child support, no alimony, no assets. He still hasn't given me my property that he threatened to destroy. He took my name off the deed to the house with NO PAPERWORK with my SIGNATURE--just the divorce decree that the judge allowed him to take. A quit claim deed should have been filed but it wasn't and nobody at the courthouse cares. And these fathers rights groups say women have more rights than men. Are they insane?! Women still only make $0.72 on the dollar compared to men and they try to get US to pay THEM child support.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-9975072589804051132016-04-11T03:05:41.634-04:002016-04-11T03:05:41.634-04:00Kaboom! Only correct thing said in this entire blo...Kaboom! Only correct thing said in this entire blogAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14139166821078191859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-24063673882977744872016-04-02T16:38:31.927-04:002016-04-02T16:38:31.927-04:00This comment reeks of an abuser This comment reeks of an abuser Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-57003909231510086992015-12-13T14:54:22.992-05:002015-12-13T14:54:22.992-05:00You're on crack. Every major study, both in th...<br /><br />You're on crack. Every major study, both in the US and UK, has indicated that domestic abuse is perpetrated on a roughly equal basis by men AND women. Any claim to the contrary is merely a lie used for propaganda purposes--or perhaps also a symptom of mental illness. Victim-playing, delusions of exclusive victimhood, and gender opposition are all symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.<br /><br />Abusers come in both genders. So do victims. Evidence must be the sole basis for judgment in each and every case. The sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner we will solve the disastrous problem known as Family Court.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-26858832926978777102015-10-02T15:40:34.267-04:002015-10-02T15:40:34.267-04:00It is due to the overwhelming "father's r...It is due to the overwhelming "father's rights" propaganda that abuse is so discredited and used against parents. The propaganda has tugged at the heartstrings of men and women under the false representation that father's have no rights. When, in actuality, fathers are the only parents who do have legislated rights to their children. Abusers should not have their children, whether it is a mother or a father. Unfortunately, it is primarily abusive fathers overpowering the courts and crying foul. Do mothers most often win custody? No. Mothers often retain custody when it is uncontested, or when a father does not seek to take the children away from their mother. When a father seeks custody, they most often get it, regardless of their background. When a father with a conviction for domestic violence directly witnessed by the children, substantiated by CPS for physical abuse of one child and investigated multiple times for complaints filed by outside agencies (doctors, therapists, daycare), who has a history of drug and alcohol abuse as documented by criminal court, admission of outpatient treatment, and admission of attending AA and NA, but who admits to FOC he still drinks, and whose children know he broke into their and their mother's home because they saw missing items in their and their father's home files for custody based on the children not wanting to take his calls or go for parenting time and wins sole custody, because the mother is poor and has concerns about the children's safety, there is a problem. What kind of GOOD father wants to associate with groups that work toward giving an abuser more rights than a child has to be safe? <br /><br />Women and men fighting for a mother's right to both protect and parent her children are not against good fathers. We are against abusers. The "friendly parent" stipulations in custody evaluations was lobbied for by father's rights groups. It was a measure to counter domestic abuse. How can a woman who has been beaten, raped, emotionally scarred, etc be reasonably expected to be in constant contact and work with her abuser? Virginia was able to make an amendment that the "friendly parent" consideration would be void in domestic abuse cases. It was a minor win for abuse survivors.<br /><br />I don't understand your reference to assistance and shelters. If your income qualifies, you are just as much eligible for assistance as any woman with the same qualifications. And shelters? There were two men in the dv shelter my children and I were staying in. But, my being in a dv shelter got me labeled "selfish" by our judge for denying our children a stable life with their father while I kept them in shelter with me. Considering we were in shelter because of the previous, physical abuse and the current stalking situation witnessed by our children, I think it's our system that is messed up, not the people who are fighting for safe childhoods for the children of domestic abuse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-37010604684339996032014-06-01T14:10:54.073-04:002014-06-01T14:10:54.073-04:00Well, if you only read the statement above you are...Well, if you only read the statement above you are most likely inclined to say how can people allow this to happen. How can an OFP not exist for someone who is slapping someone around... You're absolutely right, its much less likely to occur... If I was really a woman... but I am a man and I wrote the above quote changing the genders... Its OK for my child and I to be emotionally abused... Because I am a man and should be able to take it... That is what this system and society does... And no one is here helping us... We are doing everything on our own... But gender roles reversed there would be so much help for us from state assistance to shelters and more. What a messed up system we live in. It only hurts our kids.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-50634156108786832122014-06-01T14:05:07.305-04:002014-06-01T14:05:07.305-04:00I am afraid to stay at home with my child. We were...I am afraid to stay at home with my child. We were emotionally abused by my ex, called the police and nothing was done.... So afraid that I recorded arguments and the physical abuse we endured. My ex slapped me on more than one occassion... I tried to get him to leave the home I own and live in with my kid. Instead, he filed for an order of protection and claimed rape and physical abuse of absurd made up stories. I requested an order in return. The OFP was dismissed. My child and I are afraid to be where we are. A judge simply dismissed my ability to be afraid of him, slapping me, hurting me more, or continuing the emotional and physical abuse. The judges allow this abuse to occur while his is perfectly validated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-43273904873892304442014-05-17T04:54:46.745-04:002014-05-17T04:54:46.745-04:00*Eye-roll* Another whiny little abuser, projecting...*Eye-roll* Another whiny little abuser, projecting all over the place. Seriously, what is it with you abusers? If you've met one, you've met them all. You all use the same, tired old tactics and delude yourselves into believing you're so clever and sneaky that no-one can see through them. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-47096210543764186192014-04-05T04:34:33.882-04:002014-04-05T04:34:33.882-04:00Well this was a colossal waste of my time. I come...Well this was a colossal waste of my time. I come here to see what the "other side" has to say about the court system, looking for some actual reference material to review and evaluate. Instead, I get zero references for any of the claims made, just a bunch of assertions and vague anecdotes I'm meant to take on pure faith... oh, and the obligatory plugs for you and your friends' books.<br /><br />Look at some of this nonsense:<br /><br />"A good example of this came in a workshop I attended at an IVAT conference in Hawaii. Two young female psychologists who had been students of the conference organizer presented their findings based on a grant they had received. They claimed their research proved that abuse by men and women was roughly equal and described their methodology. It turned out they got their information from questionnaires filled out by men they found on web sites."<br /><br />Right so, from what I'm reading some study somewhere had flawed methodology. What study? Oh... you know. The one where they did that thing at that conference...<br /><br />Yeah okay. Just toss out an anecdote about alleged research bias and that's good enough, right? To hell with actually identifying a so-called "reality-deprived", "male supremacist" group, obtaining a study actively being cited by them somewhere, and then analyzing it's validity and methodology; just make a passing reference and a few unverifiable claims and hope the gullible and stupid buy it. And by "it" I mean "your books".<br /><br />Another quote: "The reach and harm of this misleading statement is illustrated by a statement by one of the leading family court judges in the United Kingdom. In a speech to an abuser rights group he said that the worst thing that can happen to children is for the mother to bad mouth the father."<br /><br />So, one of the leading family court judges (no name given) in the UK said (no quote given) in a speech (where? when?) something to an "abuser rights group" (no name given). Wow, some quality citations right there. Really going the full 9 yards to tie up all the loose ends and make sure your in-depth analysis of strictly the facts is as persuasive as possible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-63503938418331235002014-02-17T14:51:17.949-05:002014-02-17T14:51:17.949-05:00Hmmm... well, that's a snarky smarmy comment ...Hmmm... well, that's a snarky smarmy comment if I ever heard one! I find Barry's article to be filled with fact and accurately mentions many of the things that have involved my case over the years. However, FReaks, such as this FReak who can't even publish his or her name because she's or he's such a coward and manipulator always resort to the same ol' failing strategy: complete and utter denial accompanied by vague personal attacks. YAWN! The fact of the matter is that the tide is turning, and all abusive parents are going to be held accountable in family court and we are getting more and more data all the time that further illuminates just where the problems occur. So, go ahead and spout off, "Anonymous," because as so many in Congress have already told me -- you've already lost the debate. We're moving on and we're not going to stop and the abusers and the courts and the greedy quasi-court officials are going to be held accountable and be outed by name. Qui male agit odit lucem. You won't remain "Anonymous" for much longer!Ms. Deanne R. Upsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00670631732677325971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-84127203656770078562014-02-17T10:12:39.040-05:002014-02-17T10:12:39.040-05:00That would be a great critique if it had any merit...That would be a great critique if it had any merit. In fact, Goldstein's assertions are well grounded in the most current research, much of it definitive.Ricky Greenwaldhttp://childtrauma.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-51397044651912087412014-02-12T22:01:41.616-05:002014-02-12T22:01:41.616-05:00Excellent article, Barry. The level of control ab...Excellent article, Barry. The level of control abusers are gaining via their legal abuse combined with stalking, high tech proxy stalking and networking in cyberspace (I suspect) is astounding and truly horrific. Women find combat duty much easier and less traumatic, even when they are the only woman serving in their unit. The abuse abuse goes on and on years after losing custody and escalates secondary to the lack of accountability. It can be extremely difficult for an overly stressed, severely and chronically traumatized victim to present a stable impression while the abusers appear calm and collected. The venomous comments made by other posters identify abusers and trolls posting here. Thank you, Barry, for your hard work, courage and in- depth reporting. You and your friends are clearly saving lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-21518066535412410012014-01-30T03:26:17.681-05:002014-01-30T03:26:17.681-05:00"To the contrary, we find the respondent’s ut..."To the contrary, we find the respondent’s utter failure to appreciate the fact that his conduct exceeded the bounds of propriety as a courtroom advocate, his complete lack of remorse, and the pervasive nature of his deceptive conduct to be aggravating factors. Irrespective of the respondent’s sincerity in his beliefs, his overzealous behavior which took the form of disparaging remarks on the court, false accusations about Judge Amodeo disseminated in a public forum as part of a campaign to pressure the court into changing its rulings, and noncompliance with multiple court orders, truly constituted conduct prejudicial to the administration of justice."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-57189316221632377782014-01-29T08:54:34.147-05:002014-01-29T08:54:34.147-05:00The total lack of truth in this article is the sam...The total lack of truth in this article is the same that got your license suspended the first time Barry. I would have thought you would have learned your lesson by now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-33876206054584514692014-01-12T19:57:49.452-05:002014-01-12T19:57:49.452-05:00[quote] "Domestic violence experts recognize ...[quote] "Domestic violence experts recognize the problems in the court because we look at the patterns both within a case and over many cases. The courts seem never to look for patterns and thus have not been open to research that proves the present practices routinely place children at risk." [end quote]<br /><br />This is a crucial statement about "recognizing patterns both within a case and over many cases" and speaks directly to questions of research validity historically for this specific body of knowledge; i.e., custody issues that emerge from a broader issue of domestic violence and abuse --- especially in light of disqualification of PAS theory as a recognized diagnostic category. Research question(s) posed will frame the parameters for what the "field of view" becomes, permitting scientific evaluation of the phenomena domestic violence and abuse in and of itself, thereby widening the lens of understanding in terms of how this impacts custody issues and their outcomes as they progress through the family court. This is the "practical-based knowledge base" component so woefully absent in family court operations in terms of domestic violence and abuse. <br /><br />Anonymous above, prompted this reply. A central feature of "battering behavior" is boundary violations. Why do they feel the need to come to a social media site that stands diametrically opposed to what they are all about? Why chase the "competing view" if you are running a platform that is honest --- people will seek your information and decide of their own accord. Not surprisingly, Anonymous demonstrates characteristic "battering behavior" of those they are defending in leaving their mark upon this work. Not surprisingly, there is a total lack of civil discourse and absence of opportunity for fair debate on the issues, as Anonymous pre-empts this with the villifying thrust of his comment. You see, to have civil discourse requires involved parties to "play fair". This is a foreign concept to batterers and the last thing they want to do, as in order to "play fair" they would have to first relinquish control. <br /><br />OBSERVATION: Anonymous reproduces battering behavior in the comment. Social exchanges in real-time will always reproduce grounded intention in the action, as above. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18235362894696203246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-26146963201900534362014-01-12T16:21:03.836-05:002014-01-12T16:21:03.836-05:00I see the 4,096 word limit got to me (clearly does...I see the 4,096 word limit got to me (clearly doesn't apply to the blog posts) and so may address this off-line. Thanks, LGHhttp://boycottchildsupport.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-59317584762812021362014-01-12T15:22:12.699-05:002014-01-12T15:22:12.699-05:00Note: My last comment went immediately into moder...Note: My last comment went immediately into moderation (I don't think it had any links). I blogged as myself ("Lets Get Honest") with a link to my blog which has been reporting consistently over at word press on "familycourtmatters" since 2009. The level of detail and concepts introduced there are not found in enough other places. I hail from Northern California and know from acquaintance (not just by on-line facts) and at least a conference or so -- some of the groups referred to above. I did save my comment, and this is a test to see if ALL comments disappear (without the words "in moderation" showing) on this blogpost. Mr. Goldstein, we need to talk, SOON, and you know where to contact me. I am a protective mother in touch with mothers from different regions of the country and consistently am teaching them how to follow the grants, and how to look up nonprofits, including some of your friends (your term). What you call friends, I might call something else, collectively. I am a member of the class your writings purport to be helping, and they do NOT speak for me effectively, or accurately. I just submitted a comment to a Minnesota blog, including some parents I know, and asked them, the women in particular, to start vetting the groups they reblog for honesty, and transparency in reporting. You have previously censored my comments on this blog (which I have saved evidence of), though I am nonviolent ,have not threatened anyone, do not stalk (I have been stalked), and do not defame. I attempt to speak accurately -- but my voice is strong because I know that to perpetuate abuse (including economic abuse) requires a lot of uninformed people, and some passive, and others simply dishonest. The people purporting to be leaders and reformers ought to be held to a high standard of accountability. It took me years to figure out that the key to the systems was the courts themselves and losing my kids to even hear the word "access/visitation" which you continue NOT to report on, or even mention. That, in a word, is unacceptable. <br /><br />It's not time-efficient to continue submitting comments (especially ones that are later deleted, or don't get posted). I am not the only mother whose comments on these matters have been ignored - on this blog. I wonder if others' have also "disappeared" into electronic space after raising the similar issues. be informed, the material HAS been disseminated, and will continue to be disseminated. <br /><br />Another site, not that I have met or endorse the writer, who at least talks about the corporate angle, in the San Diego Calfornia area, is family law courts (com, and run the three words together), Bonnie Russell. See the section on "nonprofits" and the National Family Justice Center Alliance, etc. I don't think she's incorporated either, but at least it mentions the corporate angle in re: the courts, which is a start.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-13874679083785160502014-01-08T05:26:18.181-05:002014-01-08T05:26:18.181-05:00Just a quick update for your benefit: the Fiebert ...Just a quick update for your benefit: the Fiebert bibliography is constantly growing, and now contains 340 listings. <br /><br />The Partner Abuse State of Knowledge project (P.A.S.K.) is about as state-of-the-art as it gets these days, and overwhelmingly supports the conclusion that men and women commit domestic violence at roughly equal rates:<br /><br />http://www.domesticviolenceresearch.org/<br /><br />The feminist lie that men are battering women disproportionately, has been discredited for years, and more nails are being pounded in the coffin of that lie every day. Barry Goldstein is a reactionary, helping to keep that lie alive so that it will continue to poison society. <br /><br />Apart from that, this entire article is studded with lies, distortions, omissions, misrepresentations and misleading statements like quills on a porcupine. Fidelbogenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11727779008823649682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-16562299196801051992014-01-06T16:27:15.227-05:002014-01-06T16:27:15.227-05:00Dr. Robert Geffner the organizer of the IVAT confe...Dr. Robert Geffner the organizer of the IVAT conference contacted me to deny the unqualified professors had been his students. He offered no explanation of why they made this statement but he should know if they were his students.Barry Goldsteinhttp://www.barrygoldstein.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-66347252669328620422014-01-02T23:51:47.789-05:002014-01-02T23:51:47.789-05:00Nope guess again.
Men and women hate the the lies ...Nope guess again.<br />Men and women hate the the lies Barry put in his piece.<br />See there is 20 yrs worth of statistics Canada research that shows almost parity in D.V. Not to mention the largest study on D.V done by Martin Fiebert<br />"<br />SUMMARY: This bibliography examines 286 scholarly investigations: 221 empirical studies and 65 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 371,600. "<br />http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm<br />This is something Barry should know so he is either incompetent or intentionally misleading his audience. <br />And the study Barry links to is almost 20 yrs old, he cherry picked it as it fit his narrative of blaming one gender for a gender-less problem. <br /><br />But I'm sure Barry op was written for altruistic reasons, and not so his bank account grows.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-23199131429271422942014-01-02T22:08:53.233-05:002014-01-02T22:08:53.233-05:00It is very clear to see how these men who so oppos...It is very clear to see how these men who so oppose this writer do so with an intense rage, ready to strike with venenous anger and vengeance.<br />Not all men, just this type of men who would feel entittled and have no capacity to see their own state of mindAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-83226832821436180742014-01-02T22:04:00.020-05:002014-01-02T22:04:00.020-05:00Thank you Barry for this article. As a mother of o...Thank you Barry for this article. As a mother of one, only one child I went through hell for the 16 years in a custody battle that left me penniless. The courts did not take my reports on abuse as important, but took my ex husband's parental right as sacred. He my ex even acussed me of hitting him after an incident where he hit me during supervised visitation of our child. The police did not come when I called (3 times I called), instead they came and took His story. I called the fourth time and finally they came. My ex lied effortlessly.<br />After spending lots of money on useless lawyers, I had to agree to share custody with a mysoginist who would use his position (as the person with whom I would have to make decisions concerning my daughter) to belittle me, to slander to vilify and to contradict every step of my parenting ways. Eventually my daughter ran away at 16 before she went in to a life of drugs and maladaptive behavior. She is now OK and is doing well. Thank God. Neddless to say, she has NO contact with her father.<br />The only thing I can think of when I look back at the courts bias is that there is something very deep and irrational deep in the psyche of most of so called "professionals" that blinds them to look at how their prejudices color their decisions as to who to believe.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-17996871606439863952014-01-02T04:21:02.238-05:002014-01-02T04:21:02.238-05:00Barry let me be the first to thank you for my next...Barry let me be the first to thank you for my next article.<br />I've taken screen grabs of the whole slanderous and libelous article for future use.<br />I'm glad you're friends with Dragewitz, I've got a bit of a file on her and other so called D.V. 'experts' much like yourself.<br /><br /><br />Do you work for the SPLC Barry? <br />They ain't doing so well right now with their allegations against father's rights groups and the MHRM despite their enormous legal 'war chest'<br />Again Barry thanks for making my job so much easier.<br />I'm looking forward to sinking my teeth into this one<br />Cheers,<br />Dan Perrins<br /><br />Here is what I truly enjoy doing, which is exposing you and your ilk for the frauds they are.<br />(NB Barry the D.V. 'experts' involved in this paper)<br />http://youtu.be/NDoMaikQr24<br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-83521850768277608762013-12-31T00:50:11.804-05:002013-12-31T00:50:11.804-05:00I agree - my daughter will hopefully never marry a...I agree - my daughter will hopefully never marry and only have children "on her own" to avoid the abuses of the current system. The courts left us pennyless and in debt - I had already lost my career when I became pregnant - and now 12 years later, I have been the only supporter/caregiver this child has ever known - the ex refused to do either - but each round in court was "either let him have unsupervised visitation or give up support" (and he's a known addict - at least 2 failed trips to rehab). That's how you legally extort money from mom's. Even when the ex wanted to give up parental rights - the judge refused to let him - AFTER making me pay for an expert to be sure it was in the child's best interest....it's insane. The only concern the court ever showed was for HIS visitation. Never his responsibilities, his criminal behaviour, past history (the other 4 children he also failed to raise or support). Family court is a travesty.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6032288097291902285.post-6608893622319907702013-12-30T01:34:05.193-05:002013-12-30T01:34:05.193-05:00This article is so true to my story with the court...This article is so true to my story with the court system. My ex was abusive and the moment he went to jail for family violence the judge took my 2 year old son away from me because she accused me of making false claims... even though his case had not gone to trial and the DA was prosecuting the case. Women of Domestic Violence with Children live in hell. The men try to gain control over the women by taking the children. This is tragic. I am so relieved to see someone fighting for women. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the research you do. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com