Monday, February 28, 2011

Eddie Long…..Did He or Didn’t He?


By: GaĆ©tane Borders 

Not much has been reported recently about a news report that shocked the nation....the Pastor Eddie Long sexual abuse accusations. If you followed this case you heard Long circumvented and dismissed the accusations of 4 young male adults who filed a law suit stating that he used the Bible to rationalize sexual encounters with them.  Accusations also say that he used money, extravagant vacations, and gifts to influence his victims. 

This made international news because it had all the bells and whistles that the media loves so much...sex, money, and fame. In fact, it was all the news reported for two weeks. Then we heard nothing. I thought that perhaps the pastor went into hiding, or that his lawyers told him not to appear publicly until the trial began. I was wrong. Long continues to serve a pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, GA, and continues to speak to 25,000 church goers each week.

Today the news is reporting that the accusers are expected to settle the claims in mediation. "The main reason people go to mediation is to maintain control over the outcome and to find a resolution that meets everybody's needs as well as possible," said Andrea Doneff, an associate professor at the John Marshall Law School in Atlanta. If the parties agree, the resolution remains confidential.

I have to admit that when I first heard that mediation was in the works I immediately assumed that it was Long who wanted to avoid a lengthy and possibly humiliating public trial. But, now it appears that it is the plaintiffs who may be pushing for this. Perhaps this their way of exercising control over a traumatic situation (allegedly). People have been very outspoken, and these young men have been judged since the first moment that they stated their accusations. I can't imagine that they would want to continue enduring countless months of this. It seems as though the public will not get to learn the facts, or have the opportunity to hear Eddie long respond to cross examination. So we are forced to continue asking ourselves "Did he or didn't he?"

Regardless of what you believe, I think that the one of many lessons learned through this is that people want to believe in an ideal....that a religious figure could not, would not, knows better than to harm children. The other lesson is that sometimes people are hateful towards those who report that they were molested. The third lesson and final lesson is perhaps that the legal system is not truly designed to help the abused. If Eddie Long is guilty, it should be made public because I believe that every parent who worships at his church, lives in his community, or whose children may come into contact with him has the right to know! And, If he is not guilty and the young men are lying, this should be known as well. That would be justice served.

Gaetane Borders is the President of Peas In Their Pods.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mental Illness: Does it Deserve a Pass?



By Lyn Twyman

On February 4th, 24 year old Jessica Blackham of Greenville, SC gave birth to a baby boy.  She immediately abandoned the infant in the toilet of the arena where she had just finished watching a circus show.  It was approximately 90 minutes before the baby was found by maintenance workers.  Now Jessica is charged with unlawful neglect of a child and felony child abuse.  News about the case now is unnervingly quiet.


For this mother to dispose of her child, who is now fighting for his life from being abandoned in a toilet, is a sickening act of inhumanity and cruelty.  Stories like this are extremely disturbing and add another dynamic to family violence that we often don't think about, when people make arguments that because of a mental disorder they abuse others and therefore should be given some type of leniency. 

Blackham and her parents claim they didn't know she was pregnant, although she is currently the biological mother of a 4 year old.  Well, thanks to Discovery Health Channel's "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" I guess we're going to see more and more women use this very same alibi when they don't want to keep their children.  To add further insult to injury, Blackham is still out of jail under the judge’s ruling that while out on bond, she must hold down a job, cooperate with Department of Social Services and not leave her county.  This monster, Jessica Blackham, is still roaming the streets even though she disposed of her child like human waste, a crime punishable by a 30 year jail sentence!  Blackham also claims she doesn’t remember the incident after going to the public restroom that evening on February 4th.  So since she abandoned her child in a toilet and supposedly can’t remember, does she really need to be out in society among the rest of us? 

This society is too quick to use mental illness, the insanity plea or claim amnesia when crime is committed.  We are too quick to blame mental disorders for the violence that people commit, as if the disorder made the person raise their fist, or shoot the gun or in this case leave a baby in a toilet.  Additionally, Blackham had enough sense to check herself into a hospital after she delivered her innocent, helpless baby but wouldn’t do the same for her son. 


Or this


So where do we draw the line and say enough is enough?  Despite alleged medical claims for a scape goat, people still must pay for their crimes.  The fact that monster Blackham is still roaming the streets and not confined to a mental institution at the least until her next trial is a disgrace and a huge failure on the part of the judicial system.  If this had been a man who abandoned their child in a toilet and claimed the same argument as Blackham, do you think he would get the same treatment as she?  Or if Blackham were of another race, would she still be allowed to run the streets?  Why does she go free while a woman who hangs a dog for chewing her Bible in practically the same community is confined to a detention center?  Just click here for the story.  These are valid arguments that we have to explore when it comes to justice. 

I don’t believe justice is being served for the rest of society and especially for that poor innocent baby, now fighting for his life, when a judge lets a woman back out on the street that leaves her baby in a toilet.    What kind of hell is this?  We have been at a sad loss for a long time in our judicial system when people who commit heinous acts can plead insanity or memory loss and still maintain their freedom while people who commit petty crimes have their whole lives practically destroyed. 

Jessica Blackham, if you didn’t want your child, why not leave him somewhere like a hospital or adoption facility?  You almost killed your baby and he may be damaged now for life because of you.  Mentally ill or not, you don’t need to be running the streets to endanger the rest of our children.  Justice needs to be served for the poor baby and for all of the other children that suffered at the hands of dangerous, murderous parents.  Jessica Blackham needs to be confined, to serve her time and the judicial system needs a drastic overhaul.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Darkness to Light History, Ending Child Sexual Abuse

Anny Jacoby

We Can End Child Sexual Abuse

The ultimate mission of D2L, to end childhood sexual abuse, can only be accomplished by sharing the solution of prevention, awareness and education with more and more people. This, in turn, builds momentum and over time, changes the way our nation and culture cares for, protects and nurtures our children. Being an active participant in the mission to end childhood sexual abuse is one of the most rewarding things we will ever do – and we cannot do it without you.We believe that learning the facts about childhood sexual abuse helps prevent it. Talking about it helps prevent it. Getting involved helps prevent it. The truth is, if childhood sexual abuse can be prevented, it can be stopped. That’s why D2L exists – to empower adults through awareness and to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to childhood sexual abuse.


A Brief History

In 2000, Anne Lee, now Darkness to Light’s President and CEO, developed and implemented a strategy for a non-profit primary prevention program with the mission of reducing the incidence of child sexual abuse through public awareness and education. With tremendous community support, over $100,000 was raised and an award-winning media campaign was developed and launched in June of 2001.

In 2002 “7 Steps to Protecting our Children: A Guide for Responsible Adults” was created and Time, Inc agreed to place ads in various magazines they publish. In 2003 the documentary Childhood Stories was produced by the award-winning team of Breslin-Dunn. The documentary details the stories of four adult survivors of sexual abuse from various backgrounds and life experiences.

In 2004 we began work on an interactive sexual abuse prevention training program, called Stewards of Children, a 2 1/2 hour training program for adults. And, CNN began running Darkness to Light public service announcements nationally. These pro-bono ads were designed to increase awareness of the prevalence and consequences of child sexual abuse and to drive viewers to educational materials. CNN is still a significant supporter today and countless organizations and individuals have found us because of an ad they saw on CNN.

In 2006, Stewards of Children ONLINE was released as a web based version of the “live” or facilitated version of the training program.

Today we have more than 2,500 Facilitators who teach the program in 48 states and 10 additional countries and more than 200,000 copies of the Stewards of Children curriculum have been distributed and the program is also available in Spanish and Icelandic.

My personal question to you is..."What are you doing to bring awareness and prevention to your communities?"

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Anny Jacoby is the President of The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company
and Project Safe Girls
and is a Personal Safety E
xpert/Coach.
Anny received her PDR (Personal Defense Readiness) Instructor Certification in 2008.
Please refer to Anny's personal blog throughout the month for more
safety tips for your home, internet, work or school and documentation.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Randy Wayne Leach: Still Missing







By Dennis Griffin

Randy Wayne Leach and his car, a 1985 gray Dodge 600, disappeared from Linwood, Kansas on the night of April 15/16, 1988, following a pre-graduation party at the home of Kim Erwin in rural Linwood. He was 17 years old.

According to his family, Randy, an only child, wasn’t selfish or self-centered. He was always willing to help others and do what he could for neighbors, friends and family. He was an upbeat, clean-cut and normal boy.
Although Randy never acted like he cared for school, his grades didn’t show it. He was always an honor student, or honorable mention as a B-student. He never had to study much to keep up.

His senior year could have been finished with an early out in January, but his parents, Harold and Alberta, talked to him and he decided to enjoy his last semester of the senior year. For a graduation present, his parents bought him the car of his dreams—a restored 1966, cherry-red Mustang.

Randy planned to earn some money mowing grass the next summer and help around the home doing odd jobs and possibly going to a trade school of some kind. He made no long-range plans, just wanting to enjoy the summer.

The day before Randy disappeared, he and his dad purchased a brand new John Deere lawn tractor for Randy’s summer jobs. Randy took the new mower and mowed four and a half hours on a contracted job in the afternoon. He came home then and mowed the family’s front lawn.

When Randy got ready to go out on April 15, 1988. His dad asked him if he had enough money. He said that he had enough, but if he dropped by Wal-Mart or K-Mart, he would like to get a bottle of water glass wax to put on his new tractor to hold the paint. The cost was around $15. Harold gave him a twenty. That gave Randy a total of approximately $50 to $60. He left in the family car, a gray 1985 Dodge 600, four-door sedan with license plate number LVJ 8721. The time was approximately 6:45 p.m.

Randy eventually went to Linwood and rode around town with Steve Daughtery. When later interviewed, Steve said he bought a six-pack of beer, but Randy declined to have any. The two drove to DeSoto at about 8:30 p.m. They went to the body shop where Randy’s Mustang was being restored. Randy took Steve to show off his car. The man at the body shop said that they were drinking beer and offered some to Randy, but Randy turned it down again.

By 9:30, Randy and Steve were back in Linwood, where Randy dropped Steve off. Randy went to Stout’s Corner, a convenience store. Four or five people reported having talked to Randy there. They all said he was joking and acting normal. He bought two candy bars, two Pepsis, and $3 worth of gas. It was Randy's habit of putting back into the vehicle the gas that he thought he would use in an evening. Therefore, the family didn’t think he planned to travel very far.

Randy went to the party between 9:45 and 10:00. Randy's cousin and others who were at the party said Randy could hardly walk. The cousin later stated that Randy didn't smell of alcohol and he didn't think Randy was drunk.

So what happened to Randy in the 30 or so minutes from when he was acting normal at the convenience store and when he was observed at the party barely to walk? One story that subsequently circulated is that someone put a drug called Thorazine in Randy’s drink at the party. However, it turned out that the person suspected of spiking Randy's drink wasn't at the party.

A friend of Randy who arrived at the party at midnight, later said he was around Randy off and on. He didn’t see him drink anything, but Randy wasn't acting right.. At one point, he said, “Randy, what’s wrong?” Randy said, “Man, I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Another friend, James Burns, reported helping Randy to his car at 1:30 a.m. Unable to find the car keys, Randy laid down in the front seat. James went with his brother, John Burns, to give a girl a ride home who'd had too much to drink. When they returned between 2:00 and 2:10 a.m., Randy and his car were gone.
However, two other people said they saw Randy at the Erwin house as late as 2:15, waiting in line to go to the bathroom. Mrs. Erwin said she told him to go outside, claiming she didn’t want him to fall in the house and hurt himself.

At 6 a.m., Randy’s mom awoke to find Randy missing. The panicked parents were barefoot in the driveway, when Harold spotted Steve Daugherty drive by their house on Highway 32. Harold later said that it seemed odd because it was so early Saturday and Daugherty was only driving, “about 10 miles per hour,'” where the posted speed limit was 55 mph.

After Harold and Alberta reported Randy missing, a massive air, river and ground search was launched. But neither Randy or the car were ever found.

Following Randy's disappearance, rumors swirled. According to one of them, there was another young man with Randy when he stopped at the convenience store at 9:30 p.m. The man was identified by witnesses as Jim Hadle - possibly spelled Hadley - who was Steve Daugherty’s roommate. Hadle was reportedly seen sitting in Randy's car. Word got back to the Leach family that both Daugherty and Hadle were drug users who had spent time in jail. Harold Leach contends that investigators never talked to Hadle. And that when Hadle later came to their house, he denied even knowing Daugherty. Both Hadle and Daugherty subsequently passed away, supposedly of natural causes.

As time went by, Internal police reports about Randy's case began showing up in the Leaches' mailbox. Harold says he doesn't know the source of the documents, but believes they were from sympathetic officers who were convinced the investigation was botched.

In 1993, a man purporting to be a "research journalist" offered his assistance to the Leaches and spent several months without pay interviewing partygoers and others who might have known something about the case. The man went by the names of Terry Martin and Lee Harper. Martin/Harper pooled information with Leavenworth County Sheriff's Detective Dawn Weston, whom had been assigned to review the case.

Executing warrants issued by the assistant Leavenworth County Attorney, Weston arrested three men for the alleged kidnapping and murder of Randy Leach. The men were quickly released. The sheriff explained, "She was a new investigator and overzealous, so to speak. It didn't pan out when the evidence was double-checked by the county attorney."

As of this writing, Randy Wayne Leach remains missing and the case is cold. Someone still alive knows what happened to him on the night of April 15/16, 1988. If you are that person or know who is, it's time to step forward and help bring resolution to the Leach family.

If you have any information about this case please contact Leach family spokesperson Cindy Hutchison at cindy.hutchison@yahoo.com.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Your Road to Healing: Simple Steps to Get You Off to a Great Start





By Pamela Chapman

It’s easy for coaches, ministers and experts to tell you it’s important to find your way and life-purpose. It’s easier said than done. Isn’t it? In my previous blog, I told you that no matter how difficult or challenging your journey, you lack nothing. Every good thing has already been prepared and given to you for your healing. Today, I’d like to share some road-trip steps that have assisted me. Remember, this is my experience. These tools helped me and continue to be a part of my path to abundant living. However, I am confident if you follow, are consistent and dedicated you will see and begin to live the change.

Become Aware - You must first become aware of the dysfunction, unhappiness, and chaos in your life. I like to call this the drama in your life. Here are a few questions I’d like you to contemplate.
1)                  Are there traumatic, stressful, debilitating, and catastrophic events always occurring in your life?
2)                  Are you always worrying about something and when there’s nothing to worry about, you worry because you don’t have something to worry about?
3)                  When life is calm, are you bored?
4)                  Are you often asking, “Why me?”
5)                  Are you always the martyr, always the victim?

You need not share your responses with anyone, but the next step to finding your road to healing, your road to abundant living, is honesty. If you can’t be honest with yourself then who can you be honest with? Bill Watterson puts it this way. “It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”  Humorous? Yes. But, not when it begins to negatively affect your finances, impede your happiness and stifle your abundance. Why pretend you’re fearless when you’re fear-filled? Why say you’re free, when you’re oppressed? Why say and recite truths when, in reality, there is very little evidence that what you’re reciting is having influence. Is it just mindless utterances you are in the habit of quoting?

Once you’re honest about what you’re wrestling with, get an understanding. If you struggle with debilitating fears, attempt to get to the root. Did the fear come from mom, dad, or another authoritative figure? If you settle in your relationships, work, or affairs ask why? Usually this stems from low self-esteem. How do you really feel about yourself?

Don’t be afraid to go inward. The answers lie within. Yes, God is Almighty, All Creator. Yes, He is in complete control. But, it is also finished. It is my belief that all things have been prepared. It is either finished [completed, ended, done] or it’s not. This means your path, your life-purpose has already been created. It is up to you to find it. You must find your own yellow brick road. God is not behind a magic curtain or invisible hemisphere waiting to react to your every wish, whine or whim. You have the power, all the power you’re ever going to get. You have the authority and ability to co-create for your life. Thwarting responsibility—either waiting for God or blaming the devil—can leave you needy, wanting, and powerless. Go within. Find the God-given power within. Be relentless. God power is in each and every one of us. Empower yourself.

Take Action. While God helps those who help themselves is not an actual Scripture, in every example of Christ healing or helping others, an action was required. For example, the woman with the issue of blood had to press through the crowd and touch the hem of Christ’s garment. The blind man spoken of in John 9, after Christ made a mud/saliva salve and put it on the man’s eyes, he was told to wash in the Pool of Siloam. Even when there was no affliction but a party, action was required. Christ’s first miracle of turning the water into wine, Mary, His mother told the servants to do whatever He, the Christ, told them to do. He instructed them to “fill the jars with water,” and then “draw some out.”

You can’t stand idly by waiting and hoping for your healing. Yes, change is a process, and your road to healing is a process; but, isn’t “process” a course of action? Ask for divine guidance which requires quiet time with you, and then MOVE with unbridled faith and energy.

Raise Your Energy. EVERYTHING is energy. You want to raise the abundance in your life, raise your energy. How? Incorporate lively, positive music into your life. Dance like you’ve never danced before. Shout life-changing declarations at the top of your lungs with great enthusiasm. Pray, Mediate. Laugh. Sing. And, when life tries to slap you down, jump up and slap it back. Declare, I AM Invincible, I AM an Overcomer, I AM more than a Conqueror. Get excited. Be excited, and Remain excited.

If you take these first steps, remain consistent, dedicated and focused I promise you will embark on a life-changing journey of happiness, love, and abundant living. YOUR SATISIFCATION IS GUARANTEED.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Spirit of a Nation

By Jillian Maas Backman
Although we have never met in person, I feel as though we have been dearest friends forever.  Let us celebrate this valentine sentiment together in love.  The type of love that grows into maturity over time.  The spiritual union between America and its people.

As we watch the current events unfold in Egypt and cannot help, we can however identify with the struggles and triumphs ahead on their journey towards loving freedom.  Oh, how we know the growing pains of that evolution.  Collectively experiencing good and bad memorable moments together for centuries.  Falling in and out of love with each other.  Taking out our personal frustrations publicly over hot monumental issues of the day.  Losing precious life’s over cultural differences.  Learning the hard lessons of forgiveness when necessary.  All feeble attempts to suck the life out of our exuberant American essence we call home.  Yet, through it all, never losing sight of our unbreakable intimate bond we have to one another.

 I cannot begin to imagine the pain and suffering one goes through when your country experiences a global identity crisis.  Living with the constant uncertainty if you next door neighbor is really friend or foe.  The thought of this kind of assault landing in our own communities is simply inconceivable.  Nevertheless, sadly, it does. 

Our homes represent the physical structure where all American souls beat in unison.  Our wants are all the same.  To live a life greater than the generation before us.  Where the children can rest comfortably at night knowing all is well and filled with bright tomorrows.  When the unrest of the world burrows its way into our sacred space, horrible things begin to happen.  When we argue amongst ourselves, all heart fills with unbearable immeasurable remorse.  When we murder one another, a piece from all of us goes home with them.  

When we abuse each other, a bruise is left behind on all of us as a shameful reminder never to forget.  Ignorant cruelty separates us from the sincere intentions of Valentine’s Day.  The commitment to love one another until death do us part.  Hold fast to this spiritual vow of being soulfully tenderhearted. 
Our American neighborhoods are meant to secure the salt of the earth attitudes we hold precious in our minds.  A haven from all the cares in the world.  Where groups gathering yearly on the side streets to celebrate the marching band during the Fourth of July parades.  With joyful parents beaming ear-to-ear with un-banished pride.  Dragging your life partner to a crazy over- the- top car show that comes to town every so often.  Moreover, you in turn, go see the cheekiest girl flick ever to even the score.  Ahh, we are so very lucky to have such a simple privileged life. 

Treasure quiet moments alone when the world is not looking.  Let your guard down and be yourself in all its silly glory.  Cook in your underwear together when no one is the wiser.  Watch useless TV if you want to. Keeping your words gentle between each other.  Standing side- by- side to battle the evils of this world.  Encourage with firm, but loving intent, to coax another back on track with goals and aspirations.  Plant yourself firmly on the front lines together to see the job to completion.  Intuitively listening to each other.  Know when hurt feelings have come your way.  Followed graciously with a sincere apology for any misunderstandings.  Embrace your collective soul mates you love unconditionally; friends, brothers, sisters, parents, cats and doggies, children, partners.  Just because you can! 

There are many who have lost the chance to host ridiculous skirmishes over the dumbest things.  Like the toilet paper roll pulling from the top or the bottom.  Victims who will never know how it feels to have someone in life to bicker over such insignificant matters.  The ability to grow old together and say, “I love you my dear” on any day, let alone on this prestigious Valentine holiday.

Happy Valentine Week to you and your loved one.

In loving humbleness, Jillian Maas Backman

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hailey Dunn: A Profile of Neglect



by Peter Hyatt

What was the home life of Hailey Dunn like?

What led this 13 year old girl to be closer to counselors than her own mother?

Why did Hailey Dunn tell her friends that she feared living with Shawn Adkins?

What is to be made of a grown man wearing, buying and selling, trading masks, and making vile videos of blood and of killing?

What are we to think of a mother defending and loving the only named suspect in the disappearance of her daughter?

What impact would a mother's stripping for money have upon the psyche of an 11 or 12 year old girl?

What does it mean that Billie Jean and Shawn Adkins had a New Year's Eve party while Hailey was "missing"? Is it just gossip to appeal to the National Enquirer types, or is it an element in this case? Did Nancy Grace raise the issue for ratings, or does it matter in the investigation?

Everything matters in a missing child case.



Some claiming to be neighbors of the Dunns have written some unflattering things about Hailey and about the family in general.

We don't know Hailey and don't know what she was like, but we can apply logic to what we have learned about the family, and how children suffer under similar circumstances, and speculate on what it must have been like to have been under the roof of Billie Jean, Clint, and for the past 3 years, Shawn Adkins, by what we have learned about them, mostly from them, and understand the particular challenges that a child like Hailey would face.

From what the police affidavit has told us, from what Billie has (including via statement analysis), told us, what Shawn has told us via video and statements, along with what Clint has revealed, let's draw a composite on what Hailey may have faced in her young and tragic life.

1. Drugs
2. Alcohol
3. Violence
4. Sexuality
5. Neglect


What is the life of a child of drugs?

It is a vicious roller coaster of love and affection when mom is high, to running for shelter when mom comes down. It means having to beg steal or borrow things from girlfriends, to keep from being ashamed, so that mom can use her last few dollars for street drugs. It means, even when mom is straight for awhile, she can't count on the money for new sneakers for cheer leading because Shawn may take it for his drugs. Some days she had plenty, and some days she had to go to the counselor for lunch money.

Drug moms often go to extremes. A year of neglect means a year of guilt,therefore, the drug mom will often overcompensate on Christmas and birthdays, giving the child "everything she wants" to alleviate the lingering guilt of neglect.

Drugs may cost mom her profession and drop the household income from that of a nurse to that of a secretary. The notion that it was just a bounced check on the license is thin excuse.

What else does drugs mean?

It means a life of lying.

Mom lies as addicts do, which is ad enough, but what is worse is that the child learns to first accept lies, and then to imitate lying.

The child will imitate her mom.

Drugs mean a life of jeopardy.

Clint said that Billie bought an ounce of cocaine for re-sale. This meant that she would be making contact with dangerous people: buyers and sellers both, who don't give written receipts, guarantees of satisfaction, and who see weakness, will exploit it with violence. Drug dealers don't accept IOU's and they don't float loans. They don't deliver $10,000 drugs on someone's word.

What if Billie had sold cocaine to a man who decided, later, that he was ripped off and decided to pay Billie a visit, only to notice pretty little girl, Hailey?

Would protection be up to Shawn? Would Shawn put on a scary mask and scare the bad man away? Would Shawn be awake long enough to protect Hailey? Besides, Clint reported, Shawn snorted away the purchased cocaine himself.

Drugs and selfishness are twin sons.


2. Alcohol

Mixing alcohol with drugs changes the landscape. If drugs make them 'mellow', what does alcohol do?

Clint's mother said that she feared that Hailey was raped by Shawn and then killed when she threatened to tell.

What made Hailey's own grandmother say such a thing? Why did these words enter her mind?

Alcohol is used to lower the resistance of children who are being preyed upon.

Predators will often mix vodka, for instance, with fruit juices, freeze them and serve as a snack or treat.

We know from Shawn Adkin's choice of words, he watched movies, but "looked at stuff", with the key word, "look", as in with pornography, at photos and videos of killing and of blood. For the sadist, it is their porn which excites them.

Pornography, in whatever form, is used to desensitize children, and to lower the resistance. What shocked once, causes a yawn later, and this is the grooming that takes place.

Why would a 25 year old man go after a 35 year old woman with children?

What attracted Billie to Shawn? We learned that she met him through the very source of his blood lust videos and pictures: MySpace. This means that her description of being surprised was disingenuous at best, while on Nancy Grace. She attempted to portray the material as 'true crime' stories, and not the sick and twisted perversion it is.

When Hailey was reported missing, Shawn was able to join the conversation and talk about the killing of a deer.

This was an indication that he may have been aroused at the thought of killing, and may be that instinctive response from Clint's mother. She may have no proof, no logical reasoning, and may have known that even if she were to plead with Clint, Clint would not likely do anything, anyway, and just blurt out the frustrated fear that was deep within her.

Shawn said that Hailey was promiscuous. Did he know this first hand? If so, it is likely that alcohol played a role in this.

3. Violence

What we do for a hobby, we often fuel with peripheral interests such as magazines, or DVDs, etc, and then follow through with experience and fulfillment. This is natural.

For example, if a woman gets food magazines delivered to her home, she may enjoy the magazines, but it is not until she makes the meal for her family does she receive her fulfillment.

The same goes for other hobbies and interests. If a man gets Golf Digest magazine and instructional DVDs and videos sent to his home, the satisfaction comes when he is on the golf course.

This is the reason why child pornography is against the law. It fuels interest which leads to 'satisfaction' of that which is fueled.

Shawn fueled his interest with videos, masks and "stuff", and it is likely that brutally killing a deer once may have satisfied him, now made him yawn.

Did he receive "satisfaction" at the cost of Hailey's life?

Shawn's interview recently revealed that he enjoyed that people fear him. Think it through: what is the purpose of a scary mask if not to scare? It is a thrill for him, which is why he puts it on his face, trades and collects them. His prior threats were memorable and it may be that he made good on his threat to take away Hailey's life.

Billie's defense of him is provocative.

Who said that Billie Jean Dunn had a party on New Year's Eve?

Shawn Adkins did.




Police reported that he told them that they had a party. He told police that they should be looking at him and Billie.

What the (*&*&(?

Why would he say these things?

He enjoys it.

He gets a thrill from it. He is taunting the police. This tells me that he disposed of the body well, and is confident that they won't find it.

He is reliving the thrill.

He told police that they had a party, and then under questioning from Nancy Grace, via Statement Analysis, Billie confirmed it.

Why would they celebrate??

There is a violence used to control that is the heart of domestic violence. It is more common than most of us may realize.

But there is another violence that is rare and deeply frightening:

it is the violence of perversion: Someone who enjoys violence.

This is Shawn Adkins.

This is the Shawn Adkins that Billie first met on MySpace, of whom she says she loves, and even after threatening to kill, she subjected Hailey to.

4. Sexuality.

Billie said she wanted to be Hailey's friend. A 13 year old girl who's mother is her "friend" and not a boundary setting mother is one who will allow the 13 year old freedom for trouble.

Stripping.

Strippers I've interviewed had much in common. They all had substance abuse issues. They all had stories of early childhood sexual abuse.


They all had young daughters who emulated them and dressed provocatively, even at a young age.

Stripping likely played a much bigger role in Hailey's life than many will think:

a. Shawn's jealousy.

Shawn is a grown man who wears masks. Shawn is immature. Shawn is violent. Clint told us that men watching his girlfriend take off her clothes made Shawn very jealous.

Jealousy and violence are an explosive combination. This could not have been good for either Hailey nor for David. Domestic violence, as well shown by the writings and radio broadcasts of expert, Susan Murphy Milano, is bad enough when it is just for control, but add in the element of jealousy by an immature and insecure mask wearing drug user, and the results can be fatal.

b. Age level inappropriateness.

It is common for the daughters of strippers to not only dress inappropriately but for them to watch DVDs and movies that are not age appropriate. "Sex and the City" parties with 11 year old girls may shock the sensibilities of most mothers, but this is what happens. The 11 or 12 year olds want to watch it, but their mothers all say "no" but there is always that one mother, who is not so much a mother, but wants to be her daughter's "friend" who gives in, so as not displease her "girlfriend". Everyone thinks her mother is the "cool" one, but as parents quickly recognize and rebound, that house becomes the one to avoid. Marybeth's mother seemed to understand this when she said she wouldn't let Marybeth sleep over there any more since she learned that Billie let Hailey and her daughter walk the streets at night.

c. View of men.

The stripper views relationships with men on how she might manipulate and control them, by using sexuality.

The lesson is that sex is nothing more than a biological itch to be scratched, and discount all the wonder and beauty found within love. Rather, she would only teach that a woman is an object, and that men should be performed for.

This would be an early and deeply taught lesson about male-female relations that the young Hailey would receive. It is the Billie Jean that Clint described, needing to always walk on eggshells and pacify her; even to the point where he thinks if he doesn't report truthfully about her, she will tell him where Hailey is.

Thus far, it is not working.

Billie could teach her daughter how to use men, and in reality, how to be exploited by them. It is not as the "Pretty Woman" Hollywood world. Police officers and Social workers on the ground will tell you that the stripper is often prostituted out, and will likely suffer physical abuse, disease, drug abuse, and so many other maladies that have no resemblance to Hollywood's glamorous views.

Billie, working as a stripper, not only incited the anger of a man-child immature insecure monster, she also taught her daughter a terribly disrespectful view on how men and women should treat one another.

5. Neglect

Clint seemed to know so little about his own daughter. Although he searched early and often, he was not close to her. It is not just that Hailey kept from him her fear of Shawn, but that he never sensed her fear?

Hailey was 10 years old when Shawn Adkins came into her life. How, in the course of 3 years, could he have not sensed his daughter's fear??

He now complains that police haven't contacted him in 3 weeks? Is he kidding?

Most fathers would have all but camped outside the police station and, compared to their missing child, would not give a damn what dirty laundry his ex will air: his sole purpose is to find his daughter.

Passivity meant neglect to Hailey.

Hailey couldn't share her fears with her mother, who, as a "friend" was likely, as Dr. Lillian Glass eloquently portrayed, as a "rival" more than a daughter.

She couldn't talk to her father; he was busy self medicating with marijuana, day and night, and was listless and dull. Going to his house meant watching TV.

It appears, however, that she did have counselors whom she trusted.

Dedicated professionals have likely been a source of information for investigators, even while Clint waits for police to call him.

note: (by the time of my interview with Clint, police didn't know of the cocaine connection of Billie Dunn, a valuable piece of information that would need to be explored in the event of a drug revenge kidnapping, until I informed them. Note to Marc Klass: This is why nothing is insignificant in a missing child investigation.)

Drugs, Alcohol, Violence, Sexuality and acute emotion numbing Neglect all conspired to form the life of 13 year old Hailey Dunn.

What are most 13 year old girls like who have grown up under these circumstances?

Very few are able to rise above.

When Billie Jean said that Hailey had some problems striking out at others, it is a terrible minimizing of what deep, internal hurt that Hailey felt within.

Girls will often turn their rage within, upon themselves, and go into a life of self-abusive behavior. They are unable to ever accept why they were not important enough to mother and father; which is the lingering impact of Neglect.

Neglect leaves invisible bruises and scars that last a lifetime and can dictate the paths of life like a powerful source, turning rage outward at first, but inward mostly. The neglect would eventually lead her to choose a man who may "punish" her, just as Neglect punished her. She would have little self-worth, drawn from the fact that those charged with loving her, loved their drugs more, and gave their best to the drugs, and not to her.

When she needed sneakers, she had to wait; there were pills to be purchased.

When she needed someone to talk to, she had to wait until he was out of the fog of his high.

When she needed protection, all she found was fighting and anger and harsh words.

When she needed attention, it was not to be found.

When she needed a father, a father could not be found.
When she needed a mother, a mother could not be found.

It reminds me of the comforting words from Psalm 27:10

"Though my father and my mother should forsake me, yet the Lord will gather me up." (Geneva)

It is no wonder why strangers sacrifice much to search in the cold, while her mother sits at home, enjoying her favorite TV shows.

Let the Billie and Shawn defenders save their passion for Hailey. They desperately want an alive Hailey to come home, but they must listen to Billie's own references to Hailey:

in the past tense.

When a mother of a missing child speaks of the child in the past tense, she is revealing her knowledge that her child is dead.

Susan Smith did it.

Casey Anthony did it.

Billie Jean has done it repeatedly.

It is time to think of something else for Hailey:

Justice.

Justice for Hailey.

Arrest them both.

Shawn said "look at us both" when he taunted police. It's time to take his advice.

Arrest them both and watch how quickly they turn on each other rather than "answering questions for each other." Watch how the self-first of drug addicts rises to the surface and self-preservation reveals where they can find Hailey.

They both failed polygraphs for good reason.

Justice for Hailey Dunn.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Trained in One Battle, Losing Another : PFC Ashley Cecelia Barnes


By Susan Murphy Milano


Private First Class Ashley Cecelia Barnes, 18, was a soldier in the United States Army. She entered the Army in September 2008 and deployed to Afghanistan in December 2008. Ashley was an automated logistical specialist assigned to the 7th Squadron, 17th Cavalry Regiment, 159th Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division.

Prior to becoming a soldier, she got married. She finished boot camp and returned home for a brief leave before being deployed. Things were not going well for the new bride and her abusive groom.

Only a short time after Ashley married him, she realized he was violent and dangerous. On November 30, 2008, according to a police reports, the groom Khaleffa Lambert punched and choked her unconscious, and Ashley just knew that "he was not what she wanted in her life." She aspired to have a career in the military minus being a victim of criminal intimate partner violence.

During her tour of duty the new husband and she continued to do battle with finances and words; she decided to get a divorce. Ashley made arrangements to leave her unit, return to the States, obtain a lawyer, file for divorce and then go back to Afghanistan.

On March 7, 2009, the husband stalked Ashley, kidnapping her from a Tennessee Microtel Inn hotel room where she had been staying. He stabbed her numerous times then put her in his SUV and drove off. He was arrested by State Police on the highway because of how he was driving. Police saw Ashley's body in the back seat, and made an arrest. The husband admitted the crime to the officer.

Now, the husband is awaiting trial for the murder of PFC Ashely Cecelia Barnes. He is represented by a defense attorney who filed a motion in court this week to have the history of domestic excluded in the upcoming murder trial. This is ridiculous! The pattern of conduct in this case is very basic in terms of the actual events leading up to her murder. The couple's documented history is a factor. I also question why I did not see any charges regarding felony stalking.

He is caught and arrested with the body. The Prosecutor offers him a deal and he refuses. His defense attorney is arguing the State boxed his client into a corner. I expect my defense attorney friends will be contacting me for this remark. I realize I am not a lawyer, but how cut and dry is this case where they have to remove important facts that resulted in this woman's murder? By the way, do not forget, he murdered a United States Soldier, wife or not.

Even with the evidence and the facts, justice seems to being short changed as it pertains to the life of Ashley Cecelia Barnes. And costing unnecessary tax payer dollars over a case of premeditated murder. Yes, everyone has a right to a trial by jury, but where are Ashley's rights, who has been silenced in the prime of her life? She has no one speaking up for her.

All of Ashley's military training did nothing to prepare her for her own war with a man who was hell bent on killing her. Why? Because she was ending the violence in a peaceful way, and in these relationships of intimate partner violence, without proper training, the victims never win.

A lot could have changed for Ashley if she had completed the "boot camp" instructions in the book "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS."


The "boot camp" if you will, is for anyone going through a divorce or violent, stalking type of relationship break-up. It is also for attorney's practicing family law. Immediately, before filing for divorce in court, lawyers have the individual complete the paperwork (similar to a last will and testament), the law office witnesses and notarizes the documents, and copies are made. Then the individual reads what was just prepared in the law office before a video camera. Afterwards, the individual follows the rest of the "boot camp manual training" so they are able to stay alive.

In this case, the importance in Ashley completing just the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit in this section of the manual would have preserved the facts as to the violence and her fear of being killed. I say this because, in my opinion, had she completed the Time's Up manual, her chances of survival would have been greater. Then the lawyer who filed her divorce would have turned over evidence in Ashley's own words and the prosecutor's case would already be over. So far, those who have followed the "Time's Up" "boot camp manual" are still alive.

There is a reason soldiers go into battle properly trained to fight the enemy and stay alive. Ashely Cecelia Barnes was well prepared when she went to fight for our country. Shouldn't the same training have applied to her war in the battle of intimate partner homicide?





Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth


Monday, February 14, 2011

Ozymandias and the Magnificat A study in contrast.



By Charles Moncrief


Ozymandias
1817, by Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said--"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart....Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings,
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."
The Magnificat (Mary’s Song),
Luke 1:46-55

My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me. Holy is His name!

His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.
He has showed strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones, but has lifted up the humble and meek.

He has filled the hungry with good things, but has sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful, even as He promised, to Abraham and his descendants forever.




In the two texts at the beginning of this article I am moved by contrasting attitudes. Shelly’s sonnet was said to be about Ramses the Great, the Pharaoh at the time of the Exodus. Both his name and his job title contain the letters “RA” to honor the Egyptian sun God. In fact, Pharaoh was understood to be a human incarnation of Ra. From such a mindset, it was easy for him to be drunk with a sense of power and to lord it over his subjects. Today, however, other than when the Ramses exhibit toured the United States, hardly anyone gives a thought to this man of great power and influence nearly four thousand years ago.

Shelly caught the essence spoken of in Mary’s song about dethroning the mighty and scattering the proud in the imaginations of their hearts. If history even bothers to mention them, it’s with a sense of mockery and ridicule.

Who would be the Ozymandias in a person’s life?

The flesh-tearing abusive spouse or parent?
The adulterous homicidal maniac elected to the position of county commissioner?
The mass murderer who falsifies autopsies in the medical examiner’s office?
The bench rodent who favors cronies over justice when rendering court rulings, letting killers go free to kill again?
The lawmakers who look the other way rather than to take action against human traffickers?
The human traffickers themselves?

Whose heads would look good half-buried in the desert sands, separated from their trunkless legs, with proud epitaphs to mock them? But to anyone whose lives have ripped apart by the fallen proud, this is small comfort. Maybe this is because a different focus might be in order.

This is why I’ve set next to Shelley’s poem the Song of Mary. A teenage Jewish girl in a conquered land received a job offer. In fact, it was for the greatest job a Jewish woman of the first century could do. After receiving Mary’s answer, the messenger left her to reflect on the significance of what she’d been offered.

Like Ozymandias, Mary begins to express a sense of greatness. Unlike Ozymandias, she never loses her perspective. Her greatness comes from someone far greater than she should ever be, and that it is from first to last due to the grace and favor granted her by God. Never does she become filled with herself, but she always directs attention to the One who blessed her. In fact, her heart would be grieved by all this elevation and adoration she receives today. Her eternal destiny is in the hands of God’s grace, no more and no less than our eternal destiny depends on the same God.

The job this humble Jewish girl took on, while the greatest in the world, was also the most heart-wrenching. She watched her son die at the hands of those who were capable of the cruelest form of savagery known to humankind in that day. And yet, she stayed humble. There is no record of her having called out for the condemnation of those who acted with such cruelty. And while she may have had some special insights granted to her about such things, maybe we do as well. Maybe if we can pray for our enemies, rather than rejoice in their ruin, maybe it could possibly help us to get by. And maybe, just maybe, in time it may help us to find healing.

Grace and Peace,
Charles+

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