The Use and Misuse of 911 Recordings

By Angela Dove


“Disgusting”


“Completely inappropriate”


“Immoral and tasteless”


This is just a sampling of more than 150 reader responses to the article, “Brittany Murphy’s Mom’s hysterical call to 911” on People.com. On January 8, the entertainment magazine published audio of Sharon Murphy’s call to an emergency operator as her daughter, actress Brittany Murphy, lay dying in the actress’s California home. The move prompted immediate backlash from readers who vowed to boycott the magazine and told online editors, “You should be ashamed of yourselves.” None of the comments criticized the accompanying article, which included heartbreaking quotes from the call; instead, online users were united in their belief that encouraging the public to listen to a mother live through the worst moment of her life is despicable. Within 48 hours, the magazine removed the audio file.


While I agree that it is unpardonable to parade a family’s pain under the banner of entertainment, I am nonetheless intrigued by the power of such recordings. With—and only with—the family’s permission, a 911 recording can be an effective tool, particularly during the investigation of an unsolved crime.


It was for my family.


When my stepmother, Debi, was murdered in 1988, police were unable to make an arrest. Debi’s mother began a relentless media in hopes of bringing forward an informant. During the ensuing nine years her efforts landed Debi’s case on numerous true crime shows, most of which I avoided watching. There was one time, however, when I accidentally caught part of a show (I won’t mention any names) and watched in morbid fascination as several detectives offered a condensed version of the case: Debi was murdered in our house with a knife from our kitchen, my father found her the next morning, my baby sister slept through the attack just a few feet away, and there was no sign of forced entry.


By the time this show aired, Debi’s murder had been unsolved for more than a year, and I had moved across country in part to get away from the celebrity that comes to survivors of unsolved crime—relentless media aftershocks that can bring new devastation to lives already in ruin. What I was not at all prepared for was the tape of my dad’s frantic call to 911. The crime show played the call, and the panic and desolation in my father’s voice winded me like a punch to the stomach. I stumbled to the TV set and turned it off, sobbing in my now-silent living room.


At the time, I felt my family had been revictimized by the show. What I did not realize, however, was that the same recording that sickened me had actually convinced others that my father was not Debi’s killer.


Because of my naivety (I was only a teenager when Debi died), or perhaps because of my grief, I had somehow missed the fact that many area residents, and even some members of law enforcement, suspected my father had murdered his wife. Sure, the spouse or boyfriend is always questioned first, but even a year after Debi’s death there were those who doubted my father’s innocence. But anyone who knew my father beyond mere acquaintance would have been hard pressed to listen to that call and believe him anything other than innocent. Perhaps, if it had been released sooner, my father would not have suffered such ostracism and hostility during his own grieving process.

Aside from testifying to the state of mind of those on scene, 911 calls strike a chord even with strangers. (Over 150 comments to People’s online editors—and those were only the ones who bothered to log into the site long enough to tell them off!) Who knows if one of those listening strangers may hold the key to solving a crime?


When Debi’s mother, Jacque MacDonald, waged a war for justice in front of the cameras, it was only because she believed that someone, somewhere, knew who had killed her daughter. “There was one person who knew,” Jacque says, “and my job was to get them to come forward.” Were they afraid? Or did they think their one little piece of information wasn’t important? Jacque knew she had to break down their reticence or apathy. So she and my father laid their pain out there to the public. Eventually, Jacque’s “one person who knows” came forward with the information we needed.


Today Debi’s murderer is in jail, and Jacque fights for justice on behalf of other victims and survivors through her radio and television talk show, “The Victim’s Voice.” Based in central California, Jacque continues to counsel survivors of unsolved crimes to use anything they have at their disposal—including 911 recordings—in their search for justice.


“Other people understand panic and fear and loss,” Jacque explains. “Maybe they’ve lost a loved one or a friend. So that tape makes a connection.” If the family is able to connect to their ‘one person who knows,’ as Jacque did, then a shared understanding of loss may convince the informant to come forward.


Again, I want to be perfectly clear that I do not support the hawking of other people’s tragedies. Whether it is a mother’s 911 call or photos of disaster victims, I abhor the way some news and/or entertainment venues package and sell the heartbreak of others. But in the wake of an unsolved crime, it may be that sharing a vulnerability with the public can lead to a strong personal victory.


***


Angela Dove is an award-winning columnist, speaker, and author of the true crime memoir, No Room for Doubt: A True Story of the Reverberations of Murder (Penguin/Berkley, 2009). She welcomes feedback at www.AngelaDove.com.

Armed For Battle

By Karen Rae Elkins

If there were one battle plan for staying safe before, during or after a domestic violence event there would be fewer murders associated with what has become the hell within our homes. I read a statistic that stated 94% of all domestic violence murders occur in the home. The statistic didn't include the men and women who just couldn't take any more abuse. Many have committed suicide or died homeless on the streets as a result of domestic violence.

I found a report on the web conducted by our government titled "The impact of Domestic Violence." I could feel my blood pressure rise. Our government loves impact statements. Go ahead, I dare you to google impact statement. Billions of dollars - billions of words - created by whom and for what reason? While government agencies spend millions studying the impact of domestic violence, people are dying every day. I could have saved them a bunch of money. "Violence KILLS!" Who is impacted? Everyone....even those who have never lived a violent moment. No one is excluded or untouched by the actions of violence. It's time to wake up.

This is one reason I believe "Time's Up!" is so valuable. Government agencies on violence pledge to protect, but they have lost their way. While they spins their wheels and our money, there are everyday people willing take the frontline in the war on violence. We are armed with first hand experience. Experience is the best teacher. Who better to help others than true Statesmen armed with compassion, solid advise, wisdom and sometimes just to listen? We are soldiers in the Army for a peaceful life. We fight the fight with faith to overcome the captivity called violence.

In memory of who I was, I've created a battle plan in hopes to help save a life from a vicious fate. I call this plan: "Get the Hell Out When The Heat Is On". On my battlefield of idea's you can find, a mixture of friends,  a good dose of confidence, an ounce of prevention, a measure of strategy, and I stir in the waters of faith.

Where do you write your plan for living?

I did so with the help of good friends.  No two violent situations are the same, so I encourage you to read my battle plan then, sit down and write your own plan for surviving and thriving. I suggest you write down your strategy over the pages of an old book laying around the house. I wrote my plan in my Bible...a place my abuser would never go. The margins were packed with my thoughts. He never knew. A journal or a notebook is like a red flag saying, just go on and beat me now. Out of all your troubles, refuse to lose. The more you write, the stronger you grow until... finally you will leave. When the day of victory comes for you, take the hand of someone who was in your shoes and become their ally.

Arm yourself.

The best way out of a bad relationship is to find a good relationship. I'm not talking about hopping from one person to another, What's the saying? "Out of the frying pan and into the fire." I'm talking about real down home, butt kicking, friendships. Isolation is common among abuse victims. Seek out those who have defeated violence. There is a reason they named the movie, "We Were Soldiers." It's good to have friends that have never experienced abuse, but when you are fighting a war, best to surround yourself with both friends and soldiers. I discovered this fact late in my battle because of pride and shame. Don't make my mistake. Soldiers are experienced brothers and sisters. These are my soldier sisters, Alexis, Cherry, Delilah, Anny, Abby, Susan and Shelly. God bless them and God bless my soul sisters too. They are all fishermen, Cousin Jada, Katrina and Christie and Cindy. We can burn the cell phone minutes up.

Where do you start? Much like our brave soldiers fighting terrorist, I look to them for  knowledge. There is a camp near my home to train soldiers for battle in the Middle East. They are taught the tactics of the enemy and train in defense. Soldiers don't go into battle to lose, they get up and fight smart. The best defense is a good offense.

There is a specialized class that is catching on like a wildfire in America. This class could save you from ever taking that first blow. It's like a reserve or insurance, a measure of riches for a life without violence. It's called a personal safety class. Anny Jacoby is a pioneer in the area of personal safety. When I asked her about safety, this was her reply.

Karen, I wish everyone would recommend that every female get training long before the physical altercations so that they can learn the warning signs, be able to see the red flags, understand what Power & Control is all about, learn proactive safety tips and ultimately how one can protect and defend herself mentally, emotionally and ultimately physically. And, every female must understand that any assault is NEVER HER FAULT. Any form of assault/abuse is zero tolerance.

We travel throughout the United States to train, speak, and give presentations to gals in school, ages 5-23 through our division, Project Safe Girls; not in school, ages 19-65, Seniors as well as females with disabilities. We are not stationery - we go where we are needed (everywhere).

Stir up the waters of faith.

I'm sure using the word Hell in my opening statement is not politically correct and neither is my next paragraph. It's my rock and it grew out of the storms I survived. So, what is Hell? Hell is darkness. Hell is the absence of light. Hell is a violent man. He can be like a land mine or a IED. Ya never know when he will explode. For me, Hell is also it's being separated from God. He has the ultimate plan for life. I have been driven to my knees and sought his guidance. Shelly is a praying soldier. I know there are those laying in wait to bash my belief in The Most High, ready and willing to point out my short comings, however I can't deny His role in teaching me who I am, and most importantly in keeping me safe. I've often heard the expression there are no Athiest in fox holes when bombs and bullets fly.


When the Heat is on.

If your knowledge has been butchered tell yourself daily, Domestic Violence is lethal. Don't pay the ultimate price with your life or the life of your children. The first fatal mistake in safety is the belief that "It won't happen to me." Don't put your faith in your feelings. Read sentance # 2 again, 94%  die in their homes.

Never give up your power. Your goal is to win. I like the saying "Chose to live for something rather than die for nothing". Alexis has a wealth of wisdom when it comes  to victims. She has pledged to leave no victim behind through her organization, Survivors in Action. She said to me,"Too many think there is a bulletproof way to survive, and, unfortunately, there is not.You are worth it. - most of the women I speak with who are victims of rape, stalking or domestic violence share one common attribute and that is we are all struggling with loving ourselves and self-esteem. I often say you are worth it when speaking with victims who are struggling with speaking out or having a difficult time overcoming - i say you are worth it-  The first time Alexis and I spoke on the phone, she said those exact words to me more than once. She turned my I am not into I am.

Safety is all about strategy. How are you going to protect yourself? First report all abuse to officials, therapist, minister or police. Records and paper trails of abuse are important. The other day I tested my mace and it ran down the side of the dispenser. And you know I did it, touch my nose! I knew better, just wasn't thinking. Today I heard of a more effective source of mace. Wasp Spray. It's going to spray at least 3 ft. If you are still living in abuse, pick it up at the grocery store and lose the receipt by accident. You should have a can under your car seat, several cans in your home, and one at work. If you are in true danger of your abuser, aim for his face and run like hell to the police station. Call 911 for him, cause he's gonna need treatment. You have every right to defend your life.

Katrina said, "Girl go to the tackle store and buy a flare gun." They cost about 30 dollars and will be worth it should you need the element of surprise.

I'd rather use the wasp spray. I have a gun permit, but I know that once I lay my hand on my gun it's going off without hesitation. If you can't say the same, don't entertain the idea of a gun. I don't want to use that option, but I can and will. Every year in the United States, 1,000 to 1,600 women die at the hands of their male partners, often after a long, escalating pattern of battering.

In reality, only a very small percent of victims kill their abusers to end the violence.  Most suffer in silence or are unable to leave the relationship.  Several studies have attempted to learn why a small percent of battered women resort to homicide.  These studies have found that battered women who kill in self-defense:

• suffer frequent and severe abuse
• are victims of often brutal sexual assault
• are frequently threatened with death, especially if they attempt to leave
• are caught and beaten if they leave the abuser
• suffer severe psychological abuse, such as being beaten in front of others or being forced to watch the batterer kill a pet
• are socially isolated and often imprisoned in their homes

If you can identify with any of the above situations, he's not worth killing. He's not worth your time either. I believe what comes around goes around. I've seen it happen too many times in my life. It often happens when you least think about it.

The ultimate goal of this battle is to live. If you lack money, here is one temporary idea. Start cleaning out the junk. Tell him you are having a yard sale to buy something that will please him. Make signs and advertise. Then take a good look at the things in your home. The lamp, are you worth more than the lamp? The rug, Has he walked all over you like the rug? The dishes. When did they become projectiles? All that stuff, the material stuff, can never add up to the sum of your life. Now, not in his defense but in the belief that what comes around goes around,  don't go selling his fishing stuff or his play station, but I say the shotguns are fair game. I think hand guns are illegal to sell. Fill the tank with gas the night before the sale. When he leaves for work have the biggest yard sale ever. Have a friend manage the sale while you pack your car of the small sentimental tokens. Sell everything you can until around 2pm then leave the rest in the yard, make a quick stop at the police station and give them his hand guns. Tell them you are taking back your control from abuse and run like hell. Leave town, don't go to a friends house, don't go to family. Best keep them out of danger. Find your soldier friends and fight. There are good organizations out there willing to help you with housing and the divorce. There are advocates that will go to court with you. 


With that I leave you with a story. Remember he is the ultimate liar, a deceiver who only wants to destroy you.


 Don't let this be your story. 


Her name was Virginia and she called a hotline looking for shelter. She was quickly screened and promised two beds: one for her and one for her 15 year old daughter. She told the advocate that she would be there right after work. She would pick up her daughter from school and be right there. Although the writing had been on the wall for a while, Dean, her husband of 16 years had refused a divorce or separation. He had said more than once, “If I can’t have you nobody can.” It had been said as a promise, as a dare and as matter of fact-ly as pass the cornbread. It stopped having its impact. So, Virginia had enough of all of it. All of it. She was ready.

Five o’clock came and went. Five thirty. Six o’clock. Then, the eleven o’clock news.

At about 3:30 Dean called to admit his defeat. He said he knew Virginia was unhappy and had been for a long time. He was sorry he had caused her so much pain. He never meant to hurt her. As a peace offering, he was willing to give her what she wanted. He wouldn’t cause her any more grief. He would leave the house and let her come get her things. She could take whatever she wanted. He would sign any papers, but wanted to keep the house because it was inherited from his parents. It was just what Virginia hoped would happen.

So, Virginia picked up her daughter and got a few empty boxes and went to get her things. She made it out of the car and a few steps before the shotgun blast pierced the air and ended her life. Within seconds, the 15 year old fell dead next to her mother.

Fish Steady my friends. karen

Sleuthing and Posting~Helping or Harming?

By Cynthia Caron

Previously I’ve written about those who are “maliciously creating havoc” and I would like to further write about those who specifically utilize public forums to help families of missing loved ones.  Are they truly helping or harming?  While the majority of those who tend to flock to forums, that provide an outlet to discuss high profile missing person cases, are good hearted people there are those that take opinions and freedom of speech to the extreme…an extreme that causes unnecessary stress to families of missing loved ones.

One of the families that I work very closely with is the family of Geoff Meisner.  Geoff is a 33 year old father to 4 beautiful young daughters  all under the age of eleven.  He is a wonderful husband to his wife Tammy who is a lovely woman and a caring and adoring mother.  Geoff went missing in West Kelowna, B.C on November 27, 2009.  His truck was found in a Starbucks parking lot with no trace of Geoff.  He and Tammy had just moved into a new home two weeks prior and Geoff, a martial arts enthusiast, was looking forward to a special upcoming event in which he would be a participant.  Geoff would never go missing on his own. 

While the family struggles everyday with fears and worries of possible foul play, the bloggers are posting hastily.  Many post their prayers and thoughts and well wishes for his safe return, others are posting very damaging opinions and hypothetical situations as they try to “sleuth” their way through the personal lives of Geoff and his wife.  When confronted posters will tell you that “you should not read here” if you are family or do not wish to be a part of their “sleuthing” and that they have “a right” to openly discuss their thoughts and opinions on what may have happened to Geoff.  Rumors of possible drug connections, wondered by posters of course, as well as curiosity as to the marriage of Geoff and Tammy and the potential of “could she be involved?”  This is very damaging to the reputation of the family and posters, while they feel may be helping, are in reality creating and causing serious emotional harm to the families of those missing.

Geoff’s case is not the only case in which I’ve witnessed such harm in opinions and hypotheticals.  I’ve watched this occur over and again throughout the years.  It’s never understood as to why forums cannot have a level of respect and leave the opinions to private conversations, as opposed to public postings.  We all have opinions. We all go through hypotheticals.  That is human nature.  However, to post those publicly is where the line should be drawn.  It’s very much understood once a suspect is arrested and awaiting trial, in cases of foul play, to discuss case events.   I’m more concerned about the innocent family members whose missing loved ones whereabouts are unknown and those who post decide to try and “solve” a case via conversations that invariably have nothing to do with the missing person, or the reason a person becomes missing.

 Another family that I am working closely with has a beautiful wife, mother, daughter missing and for some reason those who are posting feel the need the know what kind of work did she do from home? What kind of work did her husband do?  Why did she have a DUI and when?  How do we know what the husband has stated is factual?  Questions that have no relevance to the fact this young mother is missing.  Those who post need to be very aware that what is posted on public internet sites will remain nearly forever.  The children of missing family members will grow up and have access to all of the curiosity and assumptions of their family.  Shouldn’t those who post use a bit more discretion?  How about taking the posts that are full of inference and discuss them in a private forum? Perhaps for the children’s sake?  Let’s ask the beautiful daughters of Geoff Meisner.

Stalkers - A Woman's Biggest Fan That NOBODY knows about...

By Anny Jacoby

January brought attention to two very important awareness issues (realistically, epidemics) to many people; Human Trafficking and Stalking. As we strive to continue to bring much needed attention to both of these crimes it is imperative to be reminded of both of these crimes on a daily basis.

STALKING IS A CRIME!

An excerpt of a stalking case reminds us of the danger that this crime truly presents and should never be taken lightly:

This nightmarish hell of an existence went on for 9 months of harassment and stalking. Then he was caught leaving her apartment while she was at work one day. He had taken a radio from her apartment. She pressed charges against him. However, he was released on bail. Now the phone calls varied between begging and threatening for her to drop the charges. But she refused. Perhaps this is what pushed him to stab her 24 times the day before his court hearing. . . perhaps it was more. The only thing I truly know is that I will never see her smile again. She’ll never come bouncing in the room, spreading cheer. She’ll never sit and reminisce with me again. Her son will never know what a wonderful loving mother he had or what she sacrificed to try to give him a “normal” life.

Stalking is a repetitive pattern of unwanted, harassing or threatening behavior committed by one person against another. Acts include: telephone harassment, being followed, receiving unwanted gifts, and other similar forms of intrusive behavior. All states and the Federal Government have passed anti-stalking legislation. Definitions may vary state-to-state but most define stalking as “the willful, malicious, and repeated following and harassing of another person that threatens his or her safety.”

Stalking is about obsession. It may be motivated by an intense affection or an extreme dislike. Stalking is very common. One out of twelve females that YOU know and one out of forty-five men that YOU know have been stalked.

Cyberstalking is a technologically-based "attack" on one person who has been targeted specifically for that attack for reasons of anger, revenge or control. A true cyberstalker's intent is to harm their intended victim using the anonymity and untraceable distance of technology. In many situations, the victims never discover the identity of the cyberstalkers who hurt them, despite their lives being completely upended by the perpetrator. Actions of a cyberstalker are deliberate and focused on the consequences to the victim. Cyberstalking is not identity theft.

Men commit most stalking and stalking has become one of the most dreaded crimes against women in recent years. Many women know their stalker personally and as a result, are hesitant to believe the situation is potentially dangerous. Being aware of these alarming signals can help you determine if you are being stalked and what you can do about it.

As a stalking victim, one of the most important things for you to remember is you neither wanted this, asked for it, nor do you deserve this.

There are basic steps that can be followed to help ensure your safety, but it does entail changing your normal day to day routines and your way of life, as you once knew it. You have no choice at this point. The stalker won’t change so it’s up to you. Is it fair? Hell no, but it’s your safety and your life that we’re talking about, so you are the one who has to make the change.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911

First and foremost, have no contact with your stalker.

As a stalking victim, you are frustrated, you are angry, you are in fear for your life. How often have you wanted to scream into the phone after receiving a harassing call or confront the stalker and demand to be left alone? You may want a friend or relative to tell the stalker to stop bothering you. DON’T DO IT. The stalker feeds on your attention and anyone close to you. Your stalker doesn’t hear you screaming “leave me alone.” If you do this, the stalker knows you’re once again paying attention to him/her, whether it’s direct contact with you or through a third party. That’s what a stalker wants – attention, and that can be dangerous. Only the police should contact or confront the stalker. First and foremost, you should always think about your safety.

• Trust your instincts. Don't downplay danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
• Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
• Report the stalking to your local law enforcement agency. While officers may not have enough evidence to arrest the stalker, it is important to develop this “official” record of the stalking behavior. If a law enforcement report is made, the information may become public.
• Some stalkers believe there are hidden messages within conversations they have with their victims that encourage them to continue the stalking. Some experts suggest that if your stalker is a former intimate partner or someone who believes you want to be in a relationship, you must be clear and firm early on about wanting to end the relationship. The longer the relationship goes on, the harder it is for the stalker to get the message that you are not interested.
• A protection from stalking order may or may not be effective in ending the stalking. These orders may be most effective if issued when the stalking behavior first begins. They also appear to be most effective in communities where violations of the order are taken very seriously by law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges. If these situations do not apply to you, you may want to consider whether a protection order will help or hurt your situation. Call your local domestic violence/sexual assault programs in your state/county for further information and for a brochure explaining how to get a protection from stalking order.
• If you believe you may be in imminent danger, develop a safety plan, taking into consideration the following: -critical phone numbers, such as law enforcement, friends, domestic violence or sexual assault programs; -critical phone numbers and contact information for other important people or services you may need after reaching a safe location, such as neighbors, attorneys, prosecutors, medical care, child care, or pet care;- keep a reserve of necessities in case you have to leave your home quickly, such as a suitcase in the trunk of your car or at a friend’s house; include money, medication, toys or items important to the children- consider having important documents such as passports, immigration documents, birth certificates, and social security numbers readily accessible;- alert people who may be part of your safety plan, such as law enforcement, employers, family, friends, neighbors, or security personnel.
• Consider whether any of the following measures would help decrease or prevent some of the dangers connected to stalking:- installing solid core doors with dead bolts- changing locks, securing all spare keys- installing outside lighting- trimming bushes and vegetation around your residence- identifying locations that may be safe for you, such as police stations, residences of family/friends, local churches, or other public places- getting an unlisted number or, if you have financial means, using a “dummy” answering machine connected to your published phone line. The private or unlisted number can be reserved for close friends or family and the stalker may not realize you have another line- varying travel routes and other routines- limiting time walking or jogging alone- informing a trusted neighbor about the situation and, if possible, giving them a description or a photo of the stalker, asking them to call law enforcement if they see anything unusual.
• Sexual assault and domestic violence programs may be able to provide you with additional help and information. The Stalking Resource Center can also provide you with information on stalking.
  

For More Information about Stalking contact:
The National Center for Victims of Crime

1-800-FYI-CALL (24 hour hotline)

INCIDENT LOG
Use this log to keep a record of stalking incidents.
Date:_____________________________
Time:_____________________________
Place:______________________________________________________________
Witnesses:___________________________________________________________
Description:__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Important Phone Numbers
Crisis Hotline
Law Enforcement
Prosecutor
Prosecutor Address
Case #
Friend
Neighbor
Day Care
Emergency Healthcare

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Trait Examination OR Character Assassination?

By Sandra L. Brown, M.A.                           

Part of the problem we face in trying to get to the nitty-gritty of pathological love relationships is that ‘how we do it’ or ‘what we call it’ is judged so severely that it impairs sharing the valuable outcomes that are learned.

There are groups of professionals, women’s orgs, and service agencies that tip toe around what we ‘call’ patterns of selection in relationships. There are unspoken rules and heavily weighted opinions about ‘what’ we can discuss and ‘how’ we discuss the outcomes.

What am I talking about? Since the 1970’s and the women’s movement, discussing the specifics about women’s choices in relationships, patterns of selection, personality traits, mental health, sexual addiction/deviancy has been largely discouraged and ‘semanti-sized’ as ‘labeling the victim’ or ‘victim blaming.’ It has put the victim off limits for any in depth studying other than from a victimology theory that was developed in the 1970’s.

It is hard to get around the billboard image of ‘victim’ to talk about any kind of relationship dynamics or other psychological aspects (including biology or temperament engrained traits) that is happening in the pathological love relationship. The rules are that we may study him but we already have a ‘theory’ for her which is not to be disturbed.

Compare this to any other field of mental health and it’s absurd that we would say ‘We already understand depression, no more theories, no more studying! Don’t call it depression or you are blaming the patient for their own depression.’

In this kind of rationale, to study her is to blame her. To measure her traits to see if there are vulnerabilities or pattern typing is to suggest she is flawed.

·        The victim assuredly has been through trauma.

·        Studying the victim in no way says they have not been through trauma.

·        The victim is not to blame for what happened to them.

·        Studying the victim in no way says they are responsible for what happened to them.

·        The victim did not ‘choose’ the victimization, but in relational dysfunction, she did pick the victimizer.

Could we learn something about that?

How will Cancer be won or a cure for AIDS is found if we don’t study the problem from all angles? If we conclude that studying the victim blames them, then we have cut off one entire segment of research that can help us in prevention, intervention and treatment–whether it’s a medical disorder or a pathological relationship.

Studying victimology, including aspects of the victim, is not victim character assassination. It might be trait examination or pattern of selection analysis. It might be a lot of things that have nothing to do with blame and shame and everything to do with understanding or creating new paradigms in which to see these relationships. It might piggyback off of theories developed in the 1970’s…surely we have learned SOMETHING new about relationship dynamics, pathology in relationships, personality disorders as intimate partners, violence and addiction and their part in these relationships…surely we can UPDATE a theory without our own assassination or that of the victim?

In some ways, I envy the Scientific and Research communities that look at the data and pass all the darn political correctness and emotional politics of ‘labeling’ it something that certain groups find offensive. They test and crunch numbers and put it in a journal without all the rig-a-ma-rol. But in our case, where we are a notch below the researchers, what we study and how we describe what we found, is subject to so much scrutiny that many clinicians and writers hesitate to publish what they found.

So it has been with many of the things that The Institute has studied, found, reported, and written. In many organizations the first book ‘How to Spot a Dangerous Man’ was rejected for looking at family role modeling, patterns of selection, and other aspects that women themselves said contributed to their pathological relationship. (On the other hand, it has been hailed by many domestic violence agencies and used widely in shelters, treatment centers and women’s prisons.)

We stepped it up a huge notch in the ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’ in which we used testing instruments to test women’s traits to see if there were temperament patterns in women who ended up in the most dangerous and disordered of relationships. This caught huge attention from some groups as the ground-breaking trait identification that it was and yet still; the victim groups saw it as labeling. How can we help women if we don’t understand their own biology?

Ironically, what we found was significant–super-traits so perfectly and symmetrically seen in 80 cases. Did we hurt a victim by studying that? Or have we helped now thousands of women who have read the books, been counseled by our trained therapists, come to our treatment programs? How would we have gotten here today without daring to look deeper…to even risk looking at her! Not to blame her, but to understand her.

Some of the biggest breakthroughs that have been happening are in understanding the biology of our own brains and the consequences of our biology on our behavior, choices, and futures. We know that MRI’s are being done on psychopath’s brains–revealing areas of brains that work differently. Some day, I think that may cross over and other personality disorders and chronic mental illnesses will be MRI’d as well so we understand how those disorders effect biology and brain function.

But what about victims?

·        If we put the word ‘damaged’ away and instead looked at how ‘different’ brain regions in victims function, over function, under function, are influenced by stress, PTSD, adrenaline, cortisol, and early childhood abuse–could we come to understand how their brain might function in their patterns of selection in dangerous relationships?

·        Could we come to understand that even temperament traits might give proclivity to how the brain ‘chooses’ or how the brain categorizes (or ignores) red flags, danger, or is highly reactive to traumatized attraction?

·        Could we understand brains that have higher tolerance levels because of certain brain areas that operate differently than other people?

·        Could we understand traumatic memory storage and why good memories of him (even as awful as he might be) are so much stronger than the abuse memories?

·        If we know what part of the brain distorts memory storage, can we work with that?

·        Could we come to understand trait temperaments as risk factors or certain brain functions as possible victim vulnerabilities?

·        Then would we know who is at risk?

·        Would we understand better, how to TREAT the victim in counseling?

·        How to develop prevention and intervention?

·        Or how intensity of attachment could be either a temperament trait or a brain function instead of merely ‘victim labeling.’

I am not only interested in the psycho-biology of the victim but how the psycho-biology affects patterns of selection and reactions in the most pathological of relationships. When we start really dealing with an open dialogue about these survivors, looking past ridiculous theories that asking questions is victim blaming, then maybe we can really offer some new theories into victimology that by-passes band aid approaches to complex psycho-bio-social understandings. This is what The Institute intends to do.

Interviewing Victims Of Crime

By Diane Fanning, Guest Writer

As a true crime writer, I am often asked if I feel fear, apprehension or anxiety when interviewing a murderer or travelling to a remote site where a killer left a body or going into a less than optimal neighborhood in search of an interview subject.  The short answer is: Yes, of course, I am.

However, my reaction to those situations pale in comparison to the intensity of my nervousness I feel when doing another aspect of my work—talking to the family members and friends of the deceased.  The first telephone conversation or face-to-face meeting churns acid in my stomach and makes my hands shake.

I am not afraid of these people but I am fearful that I might say the wrong thing or display the wrong reaction and, without intending to do so, cause a surviving loved one additional pain.  When I meet the victim’s family members and close friends, they are experiencing the worst time in their whole lives.  The world has turned upside down.  They are shattered by grief, desperate for justice and fearful of the emotional price a trial will exact or depleted by the one they just survived.  Their pain is palpable and infectious.

At times, I have been known to cry along with them.  At other times, I’ve sat silent and listened as they ranted about the perpetrator, the crime and the agony of the judicial process.  Some have told me later that being able to share their sorrow and anger with someone not directly involved in their tragedy eased some of the oppressive burden. 

There have been a few along the way, who refused to talk to me or set up conditions that made it impossible because their demands crossed my ethical boundaries or financial limitations.  Although I could readily understand their reluctance, it always broke my heart because I knew that I had failed to reassure them.

One of the reasons I write true crime books is because the most important person in any of these stories is the victim.  I believe that any time we lose a life to a senseless act of violence; it impacts all of us even when it is a stranger.  Those closest to the deceased person feel the loss most keenly but the pain ripples out to the community and beyond to all of us who value life.

When my readers pick up one of my books, I want them to see the victim as a real person—as someone who deserved to live their life to the fullest.  Only family and friends can supply me with the anecdotes and the information about personality that enable me to shape a portrait of their deceased loved one and thus, allow my readers to understand the magnitude of the loss suffered by this crime.

I have found through the years that the people who shared their memories and thoughts with me are grateful that they did.  I’ve received many notes and emails thanking me for remembering their loved one in my book.  Some of these people continue to maintain contact, years after publication.

The more in-depth information I can gather, the better job I do.  When I wrote GONE FOREVER, I had an amazing treasure chest of information about Susan McFarland—access to her personal journal, a sibling’s perspective on her childhood and the memories of friends throughout her life.  I felt a strong emotional connection to her.  I wrote about this feeling in the Afterword of the book:

One morning while driving up Interstate Highway 35 to Austin, Susan McFarland became so real to me that I thought about how much more I would enjoy the ride if she were sitting beside me sharing stories and passing the time together.  Then the realization struck—I would never be able to meet her.  I would never bump into her in Central market.  I would never laugh with her over lunch.  I would never hear the sound of her voice or see the sunny glow of her smile.

At that moment, I was hit by a sense of loss so visceral; it took my breath away and formed pools of water in my eyes.  The light of a life-enriching personality was snuffed out, never to brighten anyone’s day again.   Gone forever—all because of the violent selfishness of one man.

To this day, I think of Susan when I enter the dark recesses of a crime—talking to killers, looking at crime scene photos, reading autopsy reports.  She is my bridge to surviving family and friends, one that allows me to glimpse the inner strength and determination that many of them possess.  She reminds me that her story has the potential to save the lives of other women.  I owe her a debt of gratitude that I can never repay.  

God bless you, Susan McFarland.






Diane Fanning is the author of several true crime and mystery books, including "Mommy's Little Girl," the story of the Caylee Anthony case.  She is also a contributor to the blog, Women In Crime Ink.

Something’s Not Right: Baby Gabriel Johnson

By Sheryl McCollum

No one has seen baby Gabriel Johnson for a month.  This fact alone lowers my hope that he is alive.  I said on the Nancy Grace Show, that no one innocent has him.  If a couple existed who believed they had been given a baby rightfully, and later found out the child was involved in a custody battle, they would have turned him over by now.

Other disturbing facts:

The mother abandons her car with the child’s car seat left inside.  Wouldn’t the new parents need the car seat? 

The mother leaves her car behind in Texas.  Why would you leave your car?  Maybe you don’t want to be identified by it.  Maybe you are going to yet another state to start over with a new identity.

The mother sold her pets, jewelry, and took on a roommate for the cash.  Sounds like she was planning on running. 

The mother had about $500 on her at the time of her arrest.  Not a lot of money for someone who just sold a baby. 

The babysitter was a stranger, she did not try to give the baby to her.  Why not?  Because she had a plan.  The key here is the two hour period the sitter had him and the mother was out.  Her actions are key.  Her whereabouts are key.  This timeline must be filled in.  Texas is the key to where Gabriel is.  This is where he was last seen alive.  This is where mother left is on a bus without him.

Everyone wants him to be found alive.  But, everyone also knows something’s not right with this story.

Once you wrap your mind around the facts there is another twist in this case.  The couple named Smith.  They say they met Gabriel’s mother in an airport and wanted to adopt him.  What?  A women that you knew for nine hours.  Crazy, but there’s more.  They talked with her before she fled.  They told her, “You can’t run forever.”  Sounds like they may have known she was going to run but never called the police.  They have taken a polygraph.  Both the husband and wife’s test were inconclusive!  Then, the police served a search warrant on their home.  This couple has not been shy around the media.  They have appeared on numerous TV shows telling their side of the story and stating they do not know where Gabriel is.  Still something not right with their story.

The mother is not cooperating with the police.  She will not provide police with a sketch of the couple she says she gave the baby to.  She will not tell the child's whereabouts.  This again is a danger sign to me.  In jail is when you make a deal.  She could cut a deal by telling the child’s location – if he’s alive that is.

Still there are other concerns: her grandfather said she has been known to have fits of “rage.”  She told the child’s father she killed him!  She gave details about the murder such as how she did it and how she disposed of his body.  This is the only time she has been detailed about anything.  She was vague about where she was going to the babysitter.  She was vague about the couple to whom she gave him in Texas.  She was vague about her plans with the Smiths. But she was very clear on what happened to Gabriel. 

I will continue to pray for his safe return.  I would love to be wrong!

Sheryl McCollum, MS
Director
Cold Case Investigative Research Institute