By Anny Jacoby
Over the years of working with victims of abuse many of us have seen first hand and listened to sad stories from countless females of all ages about the "loser" they are married to, dating or dated. In the majority of cases there were obvious "warning signs/red flags" that if they had only been educated about they would have immediately seen them; it may have saved them the emotional, mental and ultimately the physical abuse that transpired or death. I strongly encourage females who have not seen or felt the aftermath of a physical altercation to seek out photos of those who have. Physical abuse is the outward expression but you can be physically abused without even being touched. I know that you are tilting your head, raising an eyebrow and thinking......hmmmmmm? Think about this.....mental and emotional abuse causes stress. In turn, stress play's havoc on one's body and life. A few signs of stress may be anxiety, weight loss/gain, IBS, ulcers, hair falling out, the inability to focus, depression and so much more. And, if children are involved.........all types of abuse affects them as well - trust the experts on this fact.
The first and foremost mistake that is seen or heard is "he will change" or "I can change him". The reality is......."you cannot change anyone but yourself". A batterer and/or rapist will not change with a "promise" or an order by the court system to seek counseling. And, you must realize the if he hits/abuses you once, he WILL hit/abuse you again. This should be a wake-up call for you. Bells and whistles should be ringing like crazy.
The Serenity Prayer gives so much encouragement to a victim as it is imperative that you must put yourself first. No relationship is worth risking your life or the lives of your loved ones. Your safety and peace of mind is most important.
To Accept, accept the fact that people don't change and that there is NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE. Accept the fact that abuse is ALL about Power and Control.
Change the things that you CAN - only you can do this for yourself. Remove yourself from an unhealthy environment. You are worth it! And, your loved ones are worth it!
Obtain the Wisdom to know what a healthy relationship is. Become educated so that you know the "warning signs/red flags"; seek to be educated and learn awareness and proactive options and measures mentally, emotionally and ultimately physically.
The Serenity Prayer gives so much encouragement to a victim as it is imperative that you must put yourself first. No relationship is worth risking your life or the lives of your loved ones. Your safety and peace of mind is most important.
To Accept, accept the fact that people don't change and that there is NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE. Accept the fact that abuse is ALL about Power and Control.
Change the things that you CAN - only you can do this for yourself. Remove yourself from an unhealthy environment. You are worth it! And, your loved ones are worth it!
Obtain the Wisdom to know what a healthy relationship is. Become educated so that you know the "warning signs/red flags"; seek to be educated and learn awareness and proactive options and measures mentally, emotionally and ultimately physically.
Don't allow anyone to steal your joy and peace.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Anny Jacoby
Personal Safety Expert and Certified Personal Defense Readiness Instructor
The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company and Project Safe Girls
www.annyjacoby.com
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